That fight drove me out of the room completely, but it couldn't keep me away from her for longer than an hour.

I fiddled with the lock in the door, expecting it to swing open to reveal thousands of inky pages spread across the luscious carpet, Evie in the middle, her skirt splayed out just shy of the papers. That wasn't what I saw.

"You're back." A small voice murmured from the bed.

I shrugged, trying to come up with some explanation, or at least a gushing apology. Instead, "I couldn't stay away." was whispered. I half staggered into the room, my legs completely unwilling to comply with my head. "I... I thought you'd have written something."

"I'd've thought you'd convince your brother not to have me murdered." The voice murmured again. "But here we are."

I shook my head. "I can't convince him or father, but we might be able to convince the Lords. We just need to get you some defence."

"Gavrila what's the point? I don't want to spend my last hours scrambling to expose every detail of my privacy, when I know even now I'll be dead this time on Thursday. I want to enjoy these last moments."

My head began to shake itself. "No. No I won't let-"

Evie swung herself off of the bed and stalked over to me. "You already said it yourself, if they want me dead, they'll have me dead. There is nothing you can do."

"Evie-"

"I don't want to fight with you again." She cried, exasperation clear, "I'm in this mess because of what I feel for you. Because of what you feel for me. I don't want to spend my last moments in struggle, I don't want to spend them at your throat. I want to spend them in love with you, like that night in the study, with the dancing. I want that."

I tried not to frown, but I couldn't help it. She seemed to give up far too easily, I would've sworn blind only yesterday that she's rip at everyone's throats until she was six feet under.

"Will you grant me that?" Evie whispered, taking a step closer to me, our chests only an inch apart. There were tears forming in her eyes.

Carefully, I removed my handkerchief from the breast pocket of my jacket and wiped her eyes.

"Of course I will." I pulled her into my arms and kissed the top of her head. Slender arms worked their way around my back and we just stood like that for a while, clutching onto each other, cherishing each other.

I made a fire up myself, eventually, and we sat before it, her head on my shoulder, her arms wrapped around my arm. We talked, eventually, and we talked of happy things. She told me all about her favourite parts of her home, especially the yellow blossoms by the farmhouse. I told her of the mischief Trist and Fana and I had achieved across the years. She told me about her ballet lessons swapped to sneak out with her butler and brother for swimming lessons down in the Lake.

"Did you ever have to learn to swim? In the war and stuff?" She turned to me, her cheeks a warm pink from the fire.

I chuckled and nodded. "I'm an awful swimmer though, I'm lucky Baracosia and Ilragorn have good solid land borders."

"Gavrila, what made you go in the first place? I know you said you didn't like your life as a gentleman and everything, but what actually forced you off?" Her eyes shone. The late winter afternoon had induced a dark grey sky outside and the orangey flicker reflected in her eyes.

I ran a hand over her silky head, unsure of whether or not to answer that truthfully. Oh sod it she was dying.

Pushing hair out of my face, I let out a slow breath. I realised that I hadn't ever actually said it aloud.

"So... So one thing you need to understand about me," I sat her up so we faced each other, the fire crackling pleasantly to my right. She smiled at me and I took the encouragement I needed from that. "One thing you need to understand is, well I love you, I really think I do, but I also - well I do like most girls too but-" damn it this should not be so hard to say. Evie took my right hand and ran her fingers over the signet ring on my little finger. "I also like men. I like both. Do you understand what I mean?" Frantically I searched her face. She looked a little surprised, for a moment, then she squeezed my fingers.

"Yeah I think I do, go on." Her gentle voice lifted a huge weight off of my chest.

The next part was easier to say, and I smiled as I recounted how "There was this boy in Definis. Tommy Garder." Memories of his sawdust like smell invaded my nose. Memories of his cheek beneath my hand made my fingers tingle, the familiar ache of waking up in a tree with him fell on my mind. "We always said one day we'd find a way to be together. His father died and his brother got all the family fortune, it wasn't much anyway. Obviously there's no way in hell I could tell my father, lest I wanted to be disowned and lose everything, so there was nothing I could do or give Tommy. He signed up to go to war and I didn't let father be until he let me go too, to follow Tommy." That memory, the one which was fading at the edges now, like a portrait exposed to too much sunlight, fell back into my vision: When I rode up to the 47th regiment and he came out of his tent. He ran right up and pulled me off of Saffron and into his arms. I could still remember how his calloused fingers felt at the base of my skull.

I looked back up and there was Evie. "Is he still out there? Will you go back to him once you've...well I suppose you'll have to marry one of the Debutantes before you can go back won't you."

I nodded, feeling a little awkward that I was telling her about the man who I loved more than her, but she seemed alright with it. Then I shook my head, because I remembered.

The fire died down a little under my gaze. "Actually no." I held her hand a little tighter. "He was one of the ones who fell at Gringle Field. He's dead."

Evie shuffled a little closer, she leaned back against my chest again, her hand on my cheek. She kissed my cheek.

"I'm so sorry." She whispered, then curled tighter into me. "I'm so so sorry, Gavrila. I mean I've never really experienced that kind of love, well, before...this. But I have an idea of how much I would hurt if I'd lost Nick to that, and I don't know how you cope." Her head fit right under my chin. Her skirts fell out over my legs.

How could I keep his death from her any longer?

I just stayed quiet, I found the pins in her hair a little later and took them out, letting the hair fall. She took my jacket off me, gently, and put it around her shoulders, and put her lips to mine, and mine to hers. And we fell slowly asleep together, on that soft carpet.