⌜ chapter nineteen ⌟

"We're not leaving." Rick says as he looks at his people in their cellblock.

"We can't stay here." Hershel argues.

"What if there's another sniper?" Maggie asks. "A wood pallet won't stop one of those rounds."

"We can't even go outside." Beth says.

"Not in the daylight." Carol interjects.

"Rick and MJ say we're not running, we're not running." Glenn tells them.

"No, better to live like rats." Merle says from the common area, where he's locked in. He looks almost exactly like he did the last time they saw him, only he has a black eye now.

"You got a better idea?" Rick looks at him.

"Yeah, we should'a slid out of here last night and lived to fight another day. But we lost that window, didn't we?"

"How about you shut the hell up." MJ says as she looks at him. It wasn't a question, or suggestion. She's telling him.

"I'm sure he's got scouts on every road out of this place by now." He says, amused when she turns to face him.

"Shut your Goddamn mouth before I pull your tongue out of it...like I should've done when you walked in here to begin with." Matt says as he looks over at Merle.

"You're adorable. Shut up." MJ whispers as she looks up at her ex-husband.

"I should kill him for what he did to you."

"Dad." Jr. gets his attention, and he turns to see that Ellie looks scared.

"Gets scary when the kids start putting us in our place, doesn't it?" His mom asks, and Matt looks down at her.

"Is this how you always feel?" He asks as his ex, and she bites back a smile.

"Shut up, asshole."

"Damn, sweetheart." Merle regains their attention. "How many of the men in this camp are you sharing bunks with?"

"Why is it that men seem to think I'm sleeping around just because I smile and converse with multiple people of the opposite sex?" MJ questions, her mind wandering back to Shane for a moment.

"Better question is why they always think you're sleeping with Rick." Addy chuckles.

"That's because most men aren't willing to relinquish any power unless they're getting a little something in return." Jo adds, causing her sister to bust up even more.

"Can we get back on topic please?" Rick asks as he looks between the women.

"Oh, look, we made him blush."

"And here I thought everyone was afraid of dying." MJ says. "Are you two done yet?"

"Now look who's blushing." Jess muses.

"Oh, for the love of Christ." She turns her back to them as she shakes her head.

"Look, bottom line, we ain't scared of that prick." Daryl tells his brother, not wanting to continue this course of conversation any more than she does. He's in the cellblock, on the second floor.

"Y'all should be." Merle says. "That truck through the fence thing, that's just him ringing the doorbell. We might have some thick walls to hide behind, but he's got the guns and the numbers. And if he takes the high ground around this place — shoot, he could just starve us out if he wanted to."

"You wanna know something we have that he doesn't?" John asks. "An entire family of royally pissed off hunters."

"Ooh, you can kill some deer and maybe some bear." He mocks and then looks over at MJ, a smug look on his face. "That's all you are? A hunter?"

The brunette laughs as she looks at him. "You think that's what I kill? I don't go out in the woods and hunt Bambi or Yogi." She shakes her head. "You wouldn't last five seconds against our usual playmates." She tells him. "But it'd sure be fun to watch you try."

"You don't think he could survive anything?" Dean asks. "Come on, he's got to be good for something."

"Please." She scoffs. "He couldn't survive an alligator." She looks at his handless arm, causing Sam to laugh.

"Really?" Adam looks at her. "Don't compare him to Hook. That's a disgrace to the captain."

"Are you four done?" John looks between his kids. "What do you want to do​, Marie?"

"I said we should leave." Hershel repeats, and they all look at him. "Now Axel's dead."

"That ain't my fault." MJ says.

"I didn't say it was." He looks at her. "But we can't just sit here."

Rick starts to walk out, but MJ grabs his arm. He stops, but doesn't look at her. "You said once that you can't lead this group without me. Well, that goes both ways. I can't do any of this without you." She tells him. "And this isn't about my self-worth or how I see myself. It's just a fact. You and I are a team, we do this together. We shoulder the responsibilities, fifty-fifty. Now, I get that you're going through hell. Believe me, I've been there. And I'm sorry. But we need you, all of us. So get your head clear." She lets go of his arm, and he walks out of the cellblock.

"That was beautiful." A familiar voice gets their attention, and MJ turns around. "Truly inspiring."

"You're annoying."

"What the hell is he doing here?" Dean questions as he looks at the demon.

"She asked me to come." Crowley tells him.

"You what?" He looks at his sister.

"Don't patronize me." MJ says as she walks into the common area with everyone following behind her. She looks at Crowley, and he smiles. "Well?"

"You have yourself a deal." He tells her.

"Are you kidding me?" Dean walks over and grabs his sister's arm. "You're making a deal with him?"

"That look, that tone." She scoffs. "That's funny coming from you. The same man who was trying to sell his soul only days ago so that he could bring Dana back." She says, and he looks over at Addy. "She didn't tell me."

"So who did?"

"Crowley showed up when you summoned him. He overheard your conversation and he filled me in. It wasn't that hard to figure out what you were doing." She shakes her head.

"Bobby was right." He says, and her expression hardens. "You, me, Dad, Sam — all ready and willing to throw ourselves back into the pit the second things get too hard up here. And for what? You're hurt because some redneck asshole beat the hell out of you, and then Daryl left with him? Did you even think about what this would do to your kids? Do you really not care what happens to you? Do you really think so little of yourself?"

"Is that really what you think of me?" She questions. "You think that I'm so hurt that Daryl left that I'm willing to sell my soul just to be done here? You've reduced me to a hormonal teenager?"

"Prove me otherwise." He says. "Make him leave."

"What exactly do you think I'm bargaining for, Dean? Honestly?" She asks, her eyes filling with tears. "The safety of the group? A clean slate? To forget what Daryl said? To forget that I was stupid enough to give a shit about him? No memory of what's happened to me? To forget about what Merle did? Him and those hillbilly assholes who tried to kill you and Sam? To forget that they tried to rape me? What is it that you think I'm looking for here, Dean? Since everyone knows me so Goddamn well, why did I summon Crowley here? Huh? Why, Dean?"

"I don't know." He shakes his head. "Any of the above — all of the above."

"You really think that I care that little about myself?" She asks. "That my nightmares scare me that much? Or that Daryl has that much power over my actions?"

"I don't know what to think anymore, M. I never know what's going on with you. You don't talk to me or to Sam." He says. "You can barely look at Mom and Dad. You won't go to Ellen, Jo, Addy, or Matt anymore."

"Because I'm not some defenseless little girl who still needs to watch your every move or hang on your every word anymore. I'm a mother and a leader. I'm a hunter." She shakes her head. "I'm not some weak and pathetic child who has to go running to her big brother for protection.

"And as for Mom and Dad... I'm angry at them. Because they did this to us. Mom made that deal with Yellow-Eyes, she let him into our home to hurt Sam. And Dad made us hunters. He raised us to be his soldiers, not his children.

"But none of that is the reason that I summoned Crowley here. I'm not making a deal to erase the past or my memories. And I sure as hell am not selling my soul. I'm not going back to hell. Because yes, I care if I live or die. And I care what happens to me."

Dean clears his throat. "Then what are you bargaining for? And what does he get in return if not your soul?" He asks.

"Cas." She says. "I'm bringing Cas here. We need him so that he can give Jack his grace back and we can undo all of this. We can turn back the clock and none of this has to happen. There won't be any more walkers, and we can have everyone back. Everyone that we've lost, everyone who's died. All of us." She looks at Jack. "From Jenny to Axel."

"And that's your answer?" Her brother questions. "Crowley?"

"Well, it's not like I can trust Gabriel. Where else am I supposed to go? Chuck?" She actually laughs at the idea of that. "And how long is it before Raphael comes back and kills Jack? Hershel wants us to leave, but if we do, Jack's an open target. We barely survived Raphael all this time. How much longer do you think we can hold out?"

"What does Crowley get in return?"

MJ sighs as she looks down. "You know, I look at the walkers out there, and all I see is another monster that needs to be killed. Another thing that threatens our safety and our lives. Just something else that needs to die." She tells him. "But they were people once. Just like you and me. They had lives and families and people who loved them. I lost sight of that a long time ago.

"I saw it again when Merle left that walker in the room with me. It was trying to kill me, but it wasn't​ the only one. People have gotten cold and cruel. I'm starting to think we might be more monster than these monsters." She says. "Walkers are mindless, vampires need human blood to survive, werewolves become animals, demons just don't give a shit about humanity.

"But us, we're losing who we were. Just like Dale said." She scoffs. "We're getting ready to fight for our home, against people. They want us dead for the same reason that we want them dead. Revenge. They killed our people, we killed theirs. Where does it end?"

"What does he get?" Dean demands.

"Did you even hear a word of what I just said?" MJ asks, and he nods.

"I heard you, and I get it. Now answer the damn question!"

She sighs. "The key." The brunette reluctantly tells him. "He brings me Cas, and I give him the key to the cage."

"What?" Sam questions.

"Have you lost your mind?" John takes a step forward.

"Hell no!" Dean snaps.

"Thanks for your input, but it's not your decision." MJ tells them. "You gave it to me because you didn't want it. You didn't want the responsibility of something so important. So you no longer have a say."

"You can't just hand over the key to Lucifer's lockbox." He tells her. "I won't let you."

"When have you ever let me do anything?"

"It's not gonna happen."

"Crowley has everything to lose and nothing to gain if Lucifer and Michael get free." She tells him. "He can't very well be the king of hell if the devil's out of his cage. And he's got an entire army of demons behind him who would rather die than see Lucifer back on earth. The key's safer with him."

"No." He shakes his head.

"MJ!" A voice calls from outside the prison.

She sighs. "Oh, hell."

"Actually​, that sounds like heaven." Crowley says, and she looks up at him.

"Shut up." MJ says and then walks past him, leaving the cellblock. "What do you want, Gabriel?"

"Congratulations, you said the magic words." The angel says as the others all file out of the prison after her. "I can do what needs to be done to find Castiel now."

"Come again?"

"Your reason for wanting to set things back, it couldn't be selfish. It had to be for the right reasons." He tells her. "Now that you've found your reason, I can find him."

"As much as I love being manipulated by heaven's fortune cookie—"

"When Cas dragged you out of hell, he touched your soul." Gabriel cuts her off.

"How sweet." She says sarcastically.

"I meant literally." He tells her. "What he did, it left a mark on your soul. I can use it to track him to where he is. I can find him and bring him back here."

"Okay, I'll bite. How?"

"I told you, the key to finding Cas lies in your past." He says, and her eyebrows pull together in confusion.

"Like how Pamela found him?" Dean asks, and the angel nods.

"But my shoulder healed. I don't have that burn anymore." MJ says.

"Your soul is still marked." Gabriel says. "If I can make a connection with it, I can find him."

"Make a connection with my soul?"

He hesitates before nodding. "Yes."

"I'm sorry, as in touch it?" She questions.

"Yes."

"Okay. And, uh... On a scale of one to hell, how much is that gonna hurt?"

"Closer to hell." He admits, and she shakes her head.

"Screw you." MJ says. "No."

"I'll do it." Dean says. "He dragged me out just the same as he did you. That means I'm marked too, right?"

"Yeah." Gabriel nods.

"No." MJ says.

"You're seriously telling me that you want to trust Crowley over Gabriel?" Dean questions as he turns to face his sister.

"This isn't​ about choosing a demon over an angel, or heaven over hell. It's about not playing into Chuck's twisted game." She tells him. "He just said that I had to come to this realization about why I wanted to set things back. And that thing that got me here was being beaten within an inch of my life."

"So you'd rather make a deal with Crowley?"

"I can hear you." The demon says.

"Shut up." Dean and MJ say in unison.

"Look, doing it Gabriel's way hurts me even more and only gives us Cas." She says. "If I make this deal then I don't have to have an angel poking around my soul, we get Cas, we get the key taken care of, and..."

"And?" He prompts.

"And I make Bobby Singer's deal void." He tells him. "I get the key, and stay king of hell. Then she gets Cas and Bobby's soul."

"No. I get Cas and Bobby, then you get the key." MJ corrects. "I'm not stupid."

"That's debatable." Sam says.

"Thank you for your vote of confidence, little brother." She looks at him. "Now shut up."

"You can't let her do this." Dean says as he looks at Gabriel.

"I haven't been able to stop her from doing anything so far." The angel tells him.

"I'm gonna need a binding contract." Crowley says, and MJ sighs as she drops her head, pinching the bridge of her nose. "It's the only way I'll have the ability to track the angel."

She takes a deep breath and walks over to him. "I get Cas, and Bobby's let out of his deal. You get the means to make it impossible for the key to open the cage. We have our deal?" She asks, and he nods.

"We have our deal." He says. "But I want to see the key first."

MJ reaches into her front pocket and pulls the four rings out. They're still connected to each other. He reaches for them, and she moves them away from him before putting them back in her jeans pocket.

"And here's to our second deal." Crowley says, and MJ sighs.

The brunette reluctantly kisses him, and her entire family turns away. Daryl's gaze drops to the ground, and Merle looks at him, just now realizing his mistake. He didn't hurt Rick the way that he thought he was when he hurt MJ, he hurt his younger brother. Now he knows that Rick and MJ were never together, and she actually had something with Daryl. Which is also the reason that he gave Merle the black eye.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go wash my mouth out with holy water." MJ says before disappearing into the prison.