⌜ chapter nine ⌟

"Let me see the baby." Hershel says, and MJ turns to him.

"What are we gonna feed it?" Daryl asks as he and MJ walk over to him. "We got anything a baby can eat?"

They had kinda been counting on Lori breastfeeding the baby. They all knew that there was a chance she wouldn't survive, but nobody would mention it. Well, nobody but her, and even then it was only to Matt and Hershel because they were the ones who were supposed to deliver the baby.

Hershel moves the jeans so that he can see the baby. "Good news is she looks healthy." He tells them. "But she needs formula. And soon or she won't survive."

"Nope. No way." Daryl shakes his head. "Not her. We ain't losing nobody else. I'm going for a run."

"I'll come with you." MJ tells him.

"No, you should—"

"I can't just sit here. I have to keep moving, I have to do something productive." She says, and he sighs, but nods. "Carl, you wanna hold your little sister?" She asks as she turns to face the thirteen-year-old.

Carl walks over to them, and she carefully hands the baby over to him. She makes sure to tell him to keep her head from falling back, and he nods. He's got a good hold on her.

"Alright, where are we going?" Daryl asks, and MJ looks up at him.

"Uh, hang on." She turns. "Mags? Bela?"

"Yeah?" The twins follow her a short ways from the others.

"I need you guys to look after Carl and the baby. With Lori gone, and Rick—"

"We'll​ look out for him." Maggie nods.

"And try to keep Jack from overdoing it on looking out for the kids." She says. "He's not gonna be doing too well when he finds out about Dana. They'd gotten really close."

"Dana?" She looks at her, confused, and MJ looks down. "Oh." She puts her hand over her mouth to keep from breaking down.

"I'll keep an eye on him." Bela says, and MJ looks up at her and sighs. "Yeah, I know you hate me and you don't completely trust me, but give me some credit. They're kids."

"Alright." She nods and then looks at the others. "Glenn, have someone help you get the fence. If too many pile up, we'll have an even worse problem."

"Rick!" Matt suddenly calls, and then they all turn to see Rick going for the ax that he dropped before. He ignores them and goes inside.

MJ sighs and heads over to Matt and Ellie to talk to the two of them. "Matt, please don't argue with me." She says, and he shakes his head.

"I'm not." He tells her. shaking his head. "I get it. You gotta do what you gotta do for everyone — all of us. Especially with Rick in the condition that he's in. I'll take care of Ellie's ankle."

"I'll see if Ponch and I can find anything for that too." She says and then walks around him. "I'm gonna be back soon, okay? You stay with your dad, and he'll help you."

"Okay." Ellie nods, still hugging Matt.

"I love you, baby." She kisses her arm and then heads back over to Daryl.

"I love you too!"

"Get the gate!" Daryl calls. "Is there any place we can go that hasn't been completely looted?" He asks MJ as they head over to the motorcycle.

"Maggie told me that she saw signs for a shopping center just north of here." She tells him, and he nods. "There's a lot of debris in the road."

"We'll be fine." He says as he puts on his poncho. She smirks.

It's been so long since they've been out on the road, so it's been awhile since he's worn it. She gave him a hard time at first, but truth be told, she actually likes it. MJ's​ been calling him Ponch since the day he got it. It's been a long time since she's even called him by his name, not that he cares at all. He won't admit it, but he likes that she has a nickname for him that no one else uses.

Daryl gets on the bike, and she sits behind him as he starts the engine. They ride out, and Oscar closes the gate behind them.

They head to the shopping center first and then check a few more places. They get to their next stop, and Daryl parks the bike. MJ immediately gets off and takes her angel blade out as he stands up.

"Company's close. Stay tight."

"Yeah." She mutters as they walk into a playground. There's a building on the land, looks like it was a nursery.

MJ breaks a window and goes into the room. She pauses when she sees two cribs, but then walks over to fill up the backpack that she grabbed before they left. She finds still-packaged bottles as well as some diapers.

Daryl climbs in the window and he looks at the painted paper children's hands on the wall. The orange and purple one that says Sofie catches his attention, and he looks down. It's been a long time since anyone's mentioned Sophia or Jess. They don't really talk about any of the other Winchesters as much as they used to anymore either.

MJ stands up and slings the backpack over her shoulder. She walks out of the room, and he follows after her. They quietly make their way down the hall in different directions. A noise comes from a room between them, and they both head back toward it.

It's a split door, and he reaches in to open the lower half. She nods, and they continue into the room to see what the noise is. The closet door inside is rattling, and he raises his crossbow. She opens it, and he shoots the opossum that's inside.

"Hello, dinner."

"That is still disgusting." MJ says as she turns away from him.

"Why do you get all pissy when I kill somethin' for food?" He questions.

"I just don't want to see it." She tells him.

"You were mad about the owl."

"I was slightly annoyed."

"Uh-huh." He mutters, and she turns around.

"When we were kids, my brothers always called me their night owl." She tells him, and he looks back at her. "I'd stay up to watch tv or go outside and look up at the stars. It became their running joke, one that they liked to think annoyed me. Truth be told, I love it."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." She lifts up the right side of her shirt, and his gaze drops to the tattoo that takes up her entire right side. It's of a large owl perched on a branch and it has bright green eyes.

"I'm never gonna be able to eat an owl again." He says, and she smirks as she lowers her shirt.

MJ turns around and opens up one of the cupboards. She finds two containers of formula and a plastic jar full of colorful pacifiers. "Jackpot." She smiles as she shows them to Daryl.

They keep searching, and he looks over at her a little later. "You alright?" He asks.

"I'm fine."

"Don't lie to me." He says, and she sighs as she leans against the doorframe.

"It's Dana, you know?" She shakes her head as her eyes fill with tears. "She's my niece, my best friend's daughter, my brother's..."

He slings his crossbow over his shoulder before walking over to her, but she's looking at the carpeted floor. Her eyes are closed and she's trying to control her breathing.

"After Jr., I-I didn't think that anything could hurt this much." She tells him. "I never wanted them to know what that feels like. Losing a child — your child... There's no pain like it. I'd rather go back to hell than know what this feels like. I hate feeling like this."

MJ looks up at him, and he reaches his hand up, wiping a tear from her cheek. She leans her forehead against his chest and takes a deep breath, trying to stop crying. His hand falls to her arm, and he tries to comfort her as best he knows how.

"I'm always terrified of the next time we're gonna lose someone." Her voice is low. "And what scares me more is who we could lose."

He tucks a piece of her short hair behind her ear. There's no longer any blonde left in it. He liked the blonde, but he much prefers her with her natural, dark hair color. Though that's an opinion that he doesn't plan to share.

MJ's free hand is fidgeting with his poncho as she looks at the few colors on it. "What if the next time we lose someone it's Ellie or Jack? Or Carl?" She whispers, and he squeezes her arm. "What if next time I lose you?" Her voice is so soft that he's not entirely sure he heard her right.

She sighs and stands up straight as she looks up at him again, this time finding that he's a lot closer than she realized, closer than he's ever allowed himself to be before. He normally pulls away if they're too close too long, but this time Daryl doesn't move as he continues to look down at her. She loves the blue of his eyes.

Before she can second guess her decision or talk herself out of it like she's done a hundred times before, MJ leans forward and presses her lips against his. He's taken by surprise at first, but doesn't take long before he kisses her back. He places his hands on her hips as she rests her own on the side of his face. Her other hand stays at her side, seeing as she's still holding her angel blade.

His next move takes her by surprise because it's not something that she would've expected him to do. He pushes her up against the doorframe as he kisses her more forcefully, his lips moving in sync with hers, and he uses his body to pin hers against the wall. His hands move to cup her face as she drops hers to his side, her fingers curling around the material there.

The pair suddenly hear a noise come from down the hallway and they immediately pull apart, not allowing themselves a moment to linger together or process what just happened.

Daryl then pulls his crossbow from his shoulder, and MJ holds her angel blade up as she heads down the hallway. She hears some shuffling and then hushed voices from one of the rooms. She pulls out her gun as Daryl walks closely behind her.

A man makes his way out of a room a little ways down the hall from them, and they both freeze when they realize who it is. "D-Dad?" MJ mutters, and John turns to look at her.

"Marie." He immediately walks over and hugs his daughter, wrapping his arms around her smaller frame. "I thought we'd never find you."

"MJ!" Jess runs over and hugs her as soon as John lets go of her.

"Is my mom with you?" Sophia asks, her voice so full of hope, and MJ looks over at her, Dean, and Mary.

"What's wrong?" Dean asks when his sister turns to look up at Daryl. She can't tell them.

"We lost a lot of people today." Daryl tells them. "Lori, and T... Carol, and...Dana."

"My mom?" The young girl starts to cry, and Mary hugs her as she looks at her son.

"D-Dana?" Dean questions.

"We found them." MJ says, willing herself to turn back to her older brother. "Er, they found us. Addy and Dana, Ellen and Jo."

"Dana's...dead?" He chokes out.

"We're at a prison, and there are survivors there. One of them that we thought had died after we showed up... He undid everything that we had done to make it a safe place for us." She's explaining. "We got a lot of it back, and he's dead now...but we still lost them."

John clears his throat, trying to fight back his own tears. "Why are you two out here?"

"Lori had the baby, that's how she..." She sighs. "We need supplies for her — food, clothes, diapers."

Dean puts a hole in the wall with his fist, causing Jess to jump as she looks at him. Daryl places the necklace back in MJ's hand, and she walks over to her older brother.

"I found this." She says, and he looks at the golden pendant that she's holding up.

"Where's Addy?" He asks as he takes the necklace from her.

"With the others at the prison. We got our cellblock secured again. They're all there."

"Take me." Dean says, and she nods.

—

It's well after nightfall by the time they get back, the Impala following directly behind Daryl's motorcycle. Glenn's in the tower waiting, and Axel leads the walkers away as Oscar opens the gate so that they can get in.

"Addy!" MJ calls when they walk into the cellblock. The blonde walks over, then she freezes when she sees Dean.

"Hey, darlin'." He smiles, and she runs over to him. He hugs her as soon as she's close enough, and she wraps her arms around his torso. He kisses her head as he holds her tight.

Daryl walks over to Carl, who's still holding the baby. "How's she doing?" He asks as he carefully takes her from the teenager.

MJ's trying to get a bottle made with the help of Maggie. As soon as it's done, she then walks over to Daryl and hands it to him. He quickly gives it to the baby, who instantly stops crying.

"Where'd you guys find them?" Hershel asks.

"Holed up at the last place we checked for baby stuff." MJ tells him. "A nursery."

"Uh, you got something else you want to tell me?" Dean asks, and MJ turns to him. He's looking between Maggie and Bela.

"Yeah." She nods. "We got a lot to catch up on, big brother." She says, and Bela sends him a sarcastic smile.

"She got a name yet?" Daryl asks Carl.

"Not yet." He shakes his head. "I was thinking maybe Amy. Then there's Carol too, or Dana. And... Andrea." He sighs. "Jacqui. Patricia. Or... Lori. I don't know."

"We'll think of something." MJ says as she lifts his hat so that she can see his face. She offers him a small smile, and he tries to return it.

"You like that, huh?" Daryl asks, talking to the baby. "Lil Ass-Kicker." He looks around at the group. "Right? That's a good name, right? Lil Ass-Kicker. You like that, huh? You like that, sweetheart?"

MJ smiles as she watches Daryl with the baby. He looks up at her, but her attention is quickly taken away from him when Ellie calls for her.

"Mom?"

"Hey." She walks over to her daughter, who's limping out of the cellblock. "So, what's the verdict, doc?" She looks up at Matt as she kneels down to Ellie's height.

"It's just a mild sprain." He says as Ellie hugs her mom, wrapping her arms around her neck. "They were running, and she tripped, twisted it. She needs to stay off of it, but she'll be alright."

"Carl killed the walkers while Jack picked me up and carried me." Ellie tells her mom as she pulls back to look at her.

"Yeah?" MJ smiles. "How's it feel?"

"It hurts."

"You know what Ponch found? He got one of those ace bandages to wrap around your ankle." She tells her. "Now, it's not a miracle fix, but it'll help."

"Your mom would know, she's used those plenty of times." Matt says. "You're the most accident prone hunter I've ever met."

"You, shut up." She points at him, and he laughs as she goes to get the bandage.

Matt wraps Ellie's ankle, and MJ walks over to Jack. His eyes fill with tears as he looks at her. "I did everything that you said. I stayed with them — with Lori and the kids. I couldn't—"

"It's not your fault, sweetie. Nobody could've saved her." She tells him. "But you saved Ellie — you and Carl did that. You have nothing to apologize for, my boy. You did good."

He nods, and she hugs him.

"Where's Rick?" MJ asks as she looks around. Her eyes settle on Hershel.

"We haven't seen him since he ran in earlier with the ax." He tells her, and she sighs.

"Alright, uh..." She takes a deep breath. "I will figure that out soon."

"What are we gonna do for sleeping? We've got a lot of new people now." He says, and she nods.

"Glenn?" MJ motions between Oscar and Axel.

"They've been helping." He tells her. "Oscar saved Rick, and they helped clean things up, and...with the digging."

"Okay." She nods. "First time in a long time that I've been glad to be wrong about someone."

"We don't want to be in the way." Oscar says.

"We've got eighteen cells... Nobody touches T or Carol's. Stay out of Rick's and..." She sighs and then clears her throat. "Rick's."

"I can move what little I have into Beth's cell." Bela says, and MJ nods.

"That'll work."

"Dean's stuff can go in mine." Addy says.

"Mom, Dad, the one all the way on the far end on the second floor is free." She says, and they nod. "So sharing is Mom and Dad."

"Me and Maggie." Glenn says.

"Me and Bela." Beth says.

"Addy and Dean. Carl and Jack." MJ mumbles to herself. "I'll keep little Ass-Kicker with me for tonight. That leaves everyone else with their own, right?"

"Mom, I don't want to sleep in my cell without Dana." Ellie speaks up.

"Ri— Uh, yeah. Of course." She nods. "Can you share with Sophia? You two shared your room at the farm, remember?"

"Yeah." She smiles as she looks at Sophia.

"Thanks, mama."

"And if Rick doesn't want to be in his cell when he gets back?" Hershel asks. "We just filled them all up."

"Then he can have mine, and I'll, uh...I can just bunk with Jo?" MJ looks at the blonde, and she nods. "Perfect."

"Alright, everybody get to bed." He tells them. "I think we can all use it after the day that we've had."

"I'll show everyone to their cells." Ellen says as she walks over to MJ. "Try to take a breath and calm down, hun." She whispers.

"Thanks." They brunette sighs, and she nods as Ellen rubs her shoulder.

Matt walks over to MJ. "I can take the baby if you want. You should sleep." He tells her, and she shakes her head.

"It should be me." She says. "I'll be alright."

"Okay." He nods and then takes Ellie and Sophia to a cell.

"Are you okay?" John asks as he walks over to his daughter.

"Yeah." MJ nods. "Yeah, I'm good."

"You always were a good liar." He says, and she smiles.

"One of the best." She chuckles. "It was kind of a job requirement."

He nods as he looks around. "You've got this place demon proof." He says. "I take it they all know?"

"Mhm." She nods. "Kinda hard to keep it a secret when I have an angel watching over me and a demon harassing me."

"Is everything okay?" He asks, and she shrugs.

"Same old, same old. I'm at war with hell and I'm being manipulated by heaven." She tells him. "Nothing I can't handle."

"I think you might be the toughest of us all."

"Maybe that's just what I want you to think." She smirks, and he chuckles. "You and Mom should go and get some sleep before the baby starts crying again. I've got everything handled down here." She tells him.

"Yeah. You do, don't you?" He sighs and then walks into the cellblock.

"She's fed." Daryl says, and MJ turns to look at him. "Now what?"

"Here, I'll burp her." She says as she walks over and takes the baby from his arms.

"Hey, MJ?" Carl gets her attention, and she and Daryl look at him as she positions the baby's head at her shoulder.

"What's up, kiddo?" She asks as she pats his little sister's back.

"Can I stay up with you for awhile? I'm not ready to go to bed yet." He says, and she nods, understanding that he probably just doesn't want to close his eyes after the day that he's had.

"Yeah, I'd love some company." She says, and then the baby burps.

"That's gross." Daryl says, looking at the spit-up on MJ's shirt. "I'll grab you something to change into." He tells her, and she nods as he starts for the cellblock.

"Hey, we can talk about names for her, if you want." MJ says as she and Carl move to sit at the table in the common area.