You would think that finally getting an answer would be the end but really that was just the beginning. Now I was faced with reality. Something was wrong with me and I'd likely be living with it everyday for the rest of my life. There is also a chance my second birth triggered it to be worse and that will not change. So here I am twenty five realizing that things are going to be just a bit more difficult from here on out but there is something that could possibly help.

For most making the choice to start a medicine that could possibly fix something you've struggled with your whole life that has now become dramatically worse would be an easy choice. For me not so much. You see choosing that pill would mean no more breastfeeding, it would mean deciding I'm okay with taking that medicine more than likely the rest of my life, it would mean the chance of becoming worse and passing out in front of my children god forbid while we are alone. Something that was already a very real possibility. To me this choice was so far from easy so I decided against the medicine to see if I had any other choice.

At this point I hadn't physically fainted just had severe dizzy episodes where I'd have to sit. I had learned I needed to stand up slower and not be afraid to sit wherever I was if I felt dizzy something as I teenager I was way to proud to do. I was gaining my confidence back, and feeling like I could do the things I used to do maybe not the same as I used to but if I took my time and took breaks I could do whatever I put my mind to. That all came crashing down with me on the kitchen floor one day when I took on just a bit more than I could handle.

The panic in my sons voice is something I will absolutely never forget. My husband had just walked outside I got up and went into the kitchen I felt dizzy but I didn't react in time.

"Mommy please wake up" filled my ear as my three year old sat on the floor next to me tears in his eyes.

Why am I on the floor? Why does my elbow and side hurt?

Holy crap I passed out in front of my child! Something I swore wouldn't happen to me. I quickly calmed him thankfully he was much easier to calm down than my husband who freaked out.