"Lynn Hartman if you aren't down here in two minutes I'm coming up after you," Jenny stood at the bottom of the steps, spatula in one hand and the other firmly planted on her hip.

Lynn groaned from where she lay on the floor. She grabbed the nearest t-shirt, state of cleanliness unknown, and pulled it over her head. The fact that they matched the running shorts she had slept in made her laugh and made her feel better about just wearing them to school, though if she was being completely honest with herself she would've worn the shorts anyway.

She glanced at her closet full of her usual pastel sweaters and sundresses that she hadn't touched in over a month, and once again wondered what the point had ever been of putting in so much effort. The stupid wheelchair was like that bad necklace that ruined your whole outfit no matter what the outfit was.

She pulled herself up to a sitting position then just sat there on the soft carpet and glared at said wheelchair. Taking a deep breath, she latched one hand onto one arm of the chair and other onto the side of her dresser and tried to heft herself into the chair. With a groan she managed to get halfway up before she fell to the side with a crash.

The footsteps came pounding on the stairs as she slapped the ground with her hands in frustration.

"Lynn Marie Hartman what were you thinking? I thought Lexi had already helped you or I would've been up here. Why didn't you call for me? Where the heck is your sister?" Jenny scolded Lynn as she hefted her up and into the wheelchair. The crinkles around Jenny's worried caramel eyes from years of laughter were scrunched in concern and her dark greying hair was flying out of its usual think pony tail.

"Lexi had to go to school early for something. Erick is picking me up. Lexi offered, but I don't know the way she said it made me insist I could do it myself," Lynn sighed in defeat and let Jenny help her connect her wheelchair to the machine that helped lift it up and down the stairs.

"You know your sister just wants to help you," Jenny reminded her, but it wasn't condescending at all. Jenny had a way of saying anything, even things you didn't want to hear, in the perfect way.

"I know, but she wants to help so often that she makes me feel incapable and useless. She makes me feel so small, and I don't know maybe she isn't the only stubborn one. I know it's dumb, but I just get so fed up with all the hovering and poo pooing about 'poor little Lynn'," she admitted, defeated, as she let Jenny wheel her into the kitchen where her favorite breakfast, blueberry waffles sat there with a big glass of orange juice.

"I know this isn't easy on you honey, but you're one of the toughest people I know, and if that isn't enough your sister was up for hours last night researching workouts to help you get strong enough to do more things on your own," Jenny raised her eyebrows at Lynn as she did the dishes.

"Well thanks a lot Jenny now I just feel guilty," Lynn sighed in defeat as she put her waffles away like she hadn't eaten well in weeks.

"Just doing my job hon," Jenny dried her hands on a dish towel before walking over and enveloping Lynn in a soft hug. A honk sounded in the driveway. "Loverboy is here you better get moving," Jenny plopped Lynn's backpack in her lap and opened the front door where the new wheelchair ramp was attached.

"Speaking of Erick, he keeps asking me to hang out this weekend. Can he come over here tonight?" Lynn called over her shoulder as she made her way down the ramp.

"Of course he can. Could you sound any less enthusiastic?" Jenny's warm eyes scrunched in concern and confusion. Even after years together, Lynn had always loved spending time with Erick and would always give Jenny a smile filled account of their date while they ate jelly beans and guessed the flavors. Lynn recognized the confusion on Jenny's face, but didn't have the time or the energy to explain to her that her boyfriend's hovering was driving her just as insane as her sister's. She didn't want Jenny of all people to think she was an ungrateful girl.

Graciousness wasn't the problem it was space she thought as Erick rushed out to help her into his car. She should write a book titled How to Feel Like a Helpless Toddler: Paralysis.

***

Lexi was convinced there was nothing more painful than what she was currently experiencing. As she leaned against the kitchen counter eating fruit snacks she had a prime view of the most awkward situation she'd ever laid eyes on.

Normally she hated being around Lynn and Erick when he was over because they were always cuddling, laughing, and so lovey dovey it made her sick, but in that moment she'd give anything to be disgusted by their mushy romance. They were currently sitting on the couch an awkward foot and a half apart watching some horror movie in complete silence.

Lynn hated horror movies, always had, which was a pain because Lexi loved them, so normally whenever Erick talked her into watching one she'd be practically in his lap hiding her face in his shoulder even though she'd insisted she could "handle it this time".

Lexi had a feeling Erick had been hoping for this familiar experience after five weeks of Lynn being so distant, but his not so subtle plan had completely failed. Lynn wasn't anywhere near him and was completely unfazed by the movie. The poor guy looked heartbroken.

Jenny walked into the room carrying a basket of laundry and gave Lexi a knowing look. Lexi offered her the red fruit snacks she'd set aside, specifically because they were Jenny's favorite, as they peered around the corner into the family room where motion, conversation, and romance apparently went to die.

"I heard they're honoring you at senior night tomorrow," Erick feebly attempted to get Lynn talking.

"Don't worry about coming. I'm going to wheel out onto the court for five seconds then wheel right back off. It's not a big deal," Lynn responded without taking her eyes off the screen.

"Lynn I wouldn't miss it! Senior night is huge and besides I kind of like this girl on the team," Erick started up their usual banter and waited for Lynn's typical middle school mocking "like or like-like" response.

"Well she's not exactly looking forward to everyone staring at her, so it's really not that big of a deal I promise," her eyes once again never left the TV and her words were missing emotion like the Sahara desert missed water.

Lynn watched as Erick's mouth moved silently, searching for words in this uncharted territory, before he finally gave up and just turned back to the movie. Lynn glanced over at Jenny and watched the pure sadness in her eyes. One of her little girls was convinced she was broken and Jenny didn't know how to help her.

"This is suffocating to watch. I'm going out. I won't be late," Lexi kissed Jenny on the cheek before grabbing her keys and rushing toward the door.

"You should probably call your parents tomorrow," Jenny suggested. "You haven't talked to them in almost two weeks."

"They're overseas on business, trust me they haven't noticed," Lexi called over her shoulder as she slipped into the garage before jumping into her car and peeling out of the driveway.

How the heck could Lynn be so emotionless when all Lexi wanted to do was scream. Five weeks ago they'd been playing volleyball, getting ready to apply to colleges, and picking out homecoming dresses, and now her best friend was practically unrecognizable.

She just wanted to scream or break something, and strongly considered going to the store and buying plates just for that reason when her phone lit up. She pulled over and checked it in case it was Erick saying something was wrong with Lynn. It wasn't Erick. It was some guy from a neighboring high school she'd had a brief, very brief, summer fling with inviting her to a party. She shouldn't. She couldn't. Not after last time.

The very same guilt she knew would be magnified the next morning had her making a U-turn and bee lining it toward the location of the party. She had to drown out the guilt. An hour later she was on her third drink, and with each sip she felt the guilt slipping. She felt she could breathe for the first time since the accident. She danced, laughed, flirted, and had care free worriless fun for the first time in five weeks.

Only a handful of people there knew who she was. It was such a relief not to be known as "the girl from the accident" or "the twin of the poor paralyzed girl" for a change. She was just some girl at a party. She couldn't remember ever being grateful for lack of attention, but she was.

All was fine until it came time to go home and she had to call for a ride. The last time she'd gotten drunk without a safe plan to get home her sister had been paralyzed. What had she done? Lynn was going to be so upset with her, but her sister would kill her if she tried to drive. That would be unforgiveable.

She fumbled with her phone until she found the one name that made her feel safe lately.

"Where are you?" Erick's voice was full of worry. Lexi heard Lynn's voice in the background asking who it was. Shoot he was still at their house. All she could think about was how Lynn couldn't find out.

"I screwed up. God Erick I really screwed up. I couldn't do it. I couldn't watch how much things had changed and it was so obvious with you two being so weird. It was all too much. I had to get away. What have I done? She's going to hate me," Lexi stumbled along the side walk as she ran her hand over her face and panicked.

"I'll be right back Lynn. It's just one of the guys. Where are you? What's going on? You're not making any sense," his voice was hushed. She heard the front door click open and closed.

"I screwed up Erick. I'm wasted and I'm at some random party in Wister and I barely know anyone here. I just had to get away from it all for a few hours," she flopped down on the sidewalk and buried her face in her hands.

"Lexi what the hell were you thinking? How the heck is this going to help Lynn? The last thing she needs is you making—"

"Me what? Making the same mistake I made last time. I already blame myself enough Erick I don't need you to make it worse. I called you because I need help not a lecture. You don't think it was hard fo me to call for a ride? You don't think I hate myself right now? Can you please pick me up or do I need to call someone else?" Lexi snapped back. He wasn't helping. He was supposed to understand how hard this was. He loved her too.

"Lexi that's not what I meant. You know I don't blame you, but I'm still pissed. This was stupid. You need to think about other people before you pull shit like this. I'm on my way," his voice was clipped and full of irritation before he hung up.

"Drive safe," her words came out as a whisper, but silence was her response.

Erick slipped back inside and found Lynn still staring at the TV.

"I have to go. Let me help you upstairs first—"

"Jenny can help me," Lynn interrupted. She hated him seeing her as weak.

He sighed.

"Alright. I'll see you Monday. Love you," he leaned down to kiss her, but her lips were unmoving and cold.

"Bye. Drive safe."

He sighed again as he grabbed his keys and left, hating himself for the slight relief at the excuse to leave.

Did Lexi screw up?  

How would you have reacted if you were Erick?  Or Lexi?

I know it's been awhile, but I was on vacation with little access to wifi and a severe case of writer's block, but I'm home and cured so we are back in action.  I mapped out the rest of the book and I am preparing you in advance for the plot twists and cliff hangers.  

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