a.n. don't forget to comment and vote

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Harry Styles

I watched people go by with their trays of food as I occupied one of the uncomfortable chairs in the cafeteria because it made me think time would pass by quicker. Some of them been here since I have arrived, some of them spent double the time I have and others have already left. The area had a tense atmosphere, emotions stuffed to the side as people tried to think of the best. Everyone was in a different situation—someone might have been here because their loved ones were under operation, some of them were here because their loved one was currently going through recovery or maybe because their loved one just gave birth. There were a bunch of reasons why these people were here, taking a break from the stress, the worry and the pain that this place brought them.

My right leg bounced up and down as I fiddled with the napkin in front of me, my phone next to me, screen upwards in case Liam decided to text me. I annoyed him until we swapped numbers. Nothing happened so far, however. It felt like it had been hours since we got to the hospital and I received no news about anything. The stress that sat and chilled in the pit of my stomach started to intensify every five minutes and it was bugging me that I knew nothing.

Finally, when I was really damn close to standing up and going for a walk around the building, I noticed Liam's head through the people who entered the cafeteria the same time he did. I sighed and leaned forward in my chair, my hands flat out on the table. When he got closer, I pushed the chair out from under me and stepped closer to him.

"How is she? Is she alright?" I asked him right away and he put his hands out as he made me step back a few times.

"Yes, she is just fine," he sighed and sat down on the chair that was facing mine. I did the same and sat back down on my already warmed chair. I don't think I've moved from it since Liam told me to wait here for any news. "She woke up, had no idea what happened then the doctor explained they need to run a few blood tests to see if there is anything else that could have caused her to faint."

"So, they don't know why it happened?" I asked back. "What does that mean? Does she have some kind of rare disease or something?"

"I'm not sure," he told me. "The doctor said that she most likely just burned out from work with all the stress that she has to deal with at work and some personal issues."

"Yeah, that happened before," I mentioned quietly. "It's more serious this time, isn't it?"

Liam nodded. "She really has been on the edge for a while now, overworking herself like she did in London. It feels weird to be discussing my boss' health but I am worried about her. I've noticed how much she takes on and no matter how much I take off, she just finds more stuff to do."

"And me ending it with her, most likely made things ten times worse on her," I added. The guilt that gripped onto every single piece of me was indescribable, so strong and disgusting that I couldn't not blame myself for playing a part in her being here. I knew if I wouldn't have done what I did, she wouldn't have been as stressed—I would have made sure she wasn't.

"Most likely, yeah," he agreed. Well, at least he didn't beat around the bush.

"Does she want to see me at all?" I decided to ask. That was all I cared about. I wanted to see her, I wanted to make sure she was OK and alive and healthy and together. I needed to hold her and see her and kiss her forehead. I didn't deserve any of those things, I didn't deserve her but I needed her.

"I think she wants answers more than anything but I wouldn't overwhelm her with a bunch of shitty explanations."

I sighed but nodded. I understood. I wasn't going to give her a whole speech about what happened. Not here, not right now. Her well-being was more important. Plus, if she allowed me to see her and be near her, I didn't want to push her away instantly by explaining my shitty actions.

"She's back in her room," the PA mentioned as he typed on his phone. I whipped my head up quickly and I felt my stomach buzz as I thought of finally being able to see her but awake, this time. It broke my heart to pieces, having to carry her down from her place and put her in the car then hold her the whole way here. I haven't cried in a couple of days but seeing her so worn out, even unconscious, really hurt me. "She wants to see you now and I have been ordered to get my ass back to work so—she is on the fifth floor. Turn right when you get out of the lift then to the left, walk a bit and right again then room 111 is hers."

"Thank you," I said and meant it for more than just the information he gave me about the room.

"If I get a phone call about you being a piece of shit, I will come back with a restraining order," he patted my shoulder and then left.

Shit.

Shit.

Shit.

I was going to face her, awake, and it weirdly made me excited and really fucking nervous at the same time. I almost ran up to her room after I was out of the lift and it took everything in me not to throw up. This was horrible.

I debated whether I should have pushed down the handle of the door or just make a run for it. I was scared she would not want to see me, even though she requested to see me. For some reason, it felt like I was meeting her for the first time after talking to her for so long online. That was a weird thing to compare it to but honestly, it rea-,

"You know I'm impatient," I was absolutely and one hundred percent caught off guard when the door to her room opened and revealed her. She walked back to the bed after she stated the obvious and I swallowed hard as I kept my eyes on her. "Close the door. But come in first."

Right.

I did as she asked then walked slightly closer. I itched my nose with the side of my index finger and licked my lips awkwardly.

"So, what brings you to my death bed?" she questioned as she got under the covers comfortably. "You look at me like you are surprised I'm talking to you."

"I, uh, I am," I managed to spit out.

"I suppose that makes two of us," she replied.

"How did you know I was outside?" I decided to ask.

"The lift on this floor is horrible, I heard it the minute it stopped. There is also barely anyone in any of these rooms because they are supposed to be private rooms or whatever. I knew you weren't a doctor or a nurse because there was too much time after the lift stopped. Liam also told me you are here and because I sent him back to work, I knew it was you," she explained. "Is that detailed enough for you?"

"Uh, yeah," I answered. "Are you... are you okay?"

"I'm good," she said. "You?"

"I guess," I replied.

"Why were you at my building this morning?" she asked me the question I knew I was bound to get. "Why are you in New York at all? Is London not big enough for you? Did you really need to come here and stain this place a bit more so I have nowhere to turn without seeing you somewhere?"

"Look, I made a mistake when I broke up with you."

"Took you a while to realise so I'm afraid you're going to have to do more than admit you did something wrong," she told me with a confident tone. She was giving me the cold shoulder but her words made me feel otherwise. She was confusing me and she knew I knew what she was up to.

"I don't think you would be able to wrap your head around how stupid it was of me to make a deal with the person I did."

"A deal?" she looked at me like I was stupid, her eyebrows slightly scrunched up and pulled together. "Listen, spare me whatever explanation you have and tell me why you came here. I know it wasn't to make a fool out of yourself so let's get it over with. Ask me the question so I can reply."

"What question?" I asked. "I'm here to explain myself."

"You are doing a shit job at it."

"I'm sorry you think that but when you're staring back at me from a hospital bed, it's a bit hard to get myself together and form actual sentences that could help me get out of the shit I'm clearly neck deep in," I bit back although arguing wasn't something I wanted to do. "I'm worried about you and no matter how hard I tried to come up with something to tell you before I came in here, all I can do is feel guilty. It is partly my fault that you are here and there is nothing I can do."

"You don't need to feel responsible for what happened to me because it has nothing to do with you."

"That's a lie and you know it."

"Oh, so you're a mind-reader now?" she mocked me. "In that case, I'm assuming there is no need for me to tell you to leave me alone and go back to London."

"I never did what you asked of me to do and I'm not going to start now," I declared. "We hit a bump in the road before and we managed to work it out. I don't see how this time is-,"

"Different?" she cut me off with a chuckle. "Need I remind you that you came to me and told me you didn't want me anymore? Because that's what you did. And then a month later you come back and try to explain yourself? Who do you think I am?"

"My actions didn't just hurt you but they hurt me. And I know who you are—someone who hates when people play them and you rarely give anyone a second chance. I would have made things worse if I tried to come back not a day after we broke up."

"We broke up?" she pressed. "You sat in my car after months of not contacting me to break up with me. To me, it sounds like enough time to muster up a plan like this and explains everything there is to know about why you did what you did," she spat. "And as for you feeling hurt over what you did? Maybe you should have. You played the second chance I rarely give out and I don't see any more of them laid out in your favour."

I had to tell her, whether she wanted to know or not. Not to make her feel horrible or to ease my own guilt but because she deserved to know. I never should have done what I did, I should have told her what was happening. But it didn't matter anymore because things were done and nothing could ever be taken back.

"Louis told me to break up with you otherwise he was prepared to do more than rough up our brothers or plant fake bombs in your building. He knew he was going to go to jail for a very long time and he wanted to make his mark. He reassured me he would leave our families and lives alone if I did what hurt you the most—if I broke up with you. He also told me he would turn himself in to the police because they never would have been able to find him. When he got the proof that we were no longer together, he did what he promised. He left all of us alone and turned himself in."

Renleigh didn't interrupt me once, she sat there quietly and let me tell her the truth. It was a lot to take in but she had to know.

"What proof was it that got him to believe we broke up?" she asked me with a quiet voice. I bit down on my lip and looked at the floor. I saw her smirk begin to show and I knew we could finally end it. Also, this time around, I thankfully didn't ruin our acting.

"He jumped on the wire idea when I brought it up as a way of ensuring I wasn't lying about breaking us up so, as planned, he heard everything that happened between us in the car," I shared as it was finally okay to drop the act.

"My acting was on point, I assuming," she mentioned and I had to fight my own smirk from popping out on my face. I had to admit, the little fight we had in her car was on a different level and she deserved an Oscar for it. Then the way we handled the whole thing after to make sure no other people Louis had on the outside could stop him from turning himself in or do anything to us whilst they had the chance, was also something that deserved an award.

"Don't flatter yourself too much," I said. "It wouldn't have worked without me riling you up, darling."

"Ugh," she groaned. I stood up from the chair and walked closer to her bed then leaned on the edge of the mattress. "So, we're back to being annoyingly sickening?"

"I guess we are," I confirmed and winked at her. "Now, can I finally get a fucking kiss?"

"Four months and two weeks without a kiss and you are moaning already?" she raised her eyebrows curiously which made me roll my eyes at her stupid question.

Of course, I was moaning already. I had to pretend for what felt like forever that we broke up and we had to get everyone else to believe in it. That meant absolutely no contact whatsoever because we didn't know who we could and couldn't trust with the truth. It was probably going to end up hurting a few people close to us but rather them get their feelings hurt for a couple of days than something more serious happen to them because of one individual.

"Oh, baby, you are going to be the one moaning when we're out of here and I'm done with you," I grinned against her lips and finally kissed her. The moment I felt her lips against mine, I sighed in pleasure. The happiness that flooded through me when I felt the warmness against my own was indescribable and I couldn't help but cup her face with both of my hands.

I pressed little kisses on her lips over and over again until she laughed and pushed my face away. I kept my body up with my hands on either side of her as she wrapped her arms around my neck and then pulled me to her in a hug. I hid my face in the crook of her neck and inhaled deeply, my eyes closed.

"I never want to fight with you like that," she mumbled but because I was so close to her, I heard everything perfectly. "I hated that I had to go so long without you."

"Me too," I pulled away. "I missed you so much and talking to people about you was making it all so much worse."

"I tried not saying your name," she told me and chuckled after. "Whenever your name had to come up in a conversation, I just addressed you as the person who shall not be named."

"You cheeky fucker," I grinned at her and poked her stomach because I knew she was ticklish.

"Stop!" she grabbed my hands to stop me from annoying her. "Shit, I need to call Zayn. I was on the phone to him before I ended up here and I don't know if anyone filled him in."

"Right—you are in the hospital for overworking yourself," I said with a much more serious voice. Somehow, it all went over my head and I hated that. But with everything that happened, I was too overwhelmed. "I can't believe you are doing this to yourself again."

"You think I put myself in here willingly?" she asked back. "It wasn't a part of the plan and I know that. But on top of managing a new set of employees in a completely new country, everything that happened before and now was getting to me. And I felt it getting to me but I didn't let it stop me. I knew if I stopped, I would let you down," she explained. "You were so sure this plan of ours would work and Harry, it did. It worked—Louis is in jail. So, if me fainting once and getting in here made our plan look even better, I'm not even sorry it happened."

"Okay. That is too far and you know it," I stated as I straightened back up. "I don't like the thought of you overworking yourself just to prove some shitty point to someone who will most likely live the rest of their life behind bars for all the nasty fucking shit they kept being accused of once his victims found out he was going to jail and so found the courage to speak out against him. Even if our fake-breakup wouldn't have worked, there was enough shit against him to put him away for good."

"Going off on me is not going to change anything, Harry."

"You are right—it will not. But it sure as hell will make me feel better for a short while."

"Well, how about you calm down and pray that I don't have anything wrong with me," she huffed. "I'm actually terrified that there might be something wrong with me. I never had to get a blood test done in my life. I have never had an IV in me. I have never had so many needles in me in one day, period."

"I'm sorry, you are right. Your health should be the main focus, not us fighting over it. What did they say, when will they come back with the results?"

"I don't know. I wasn't listening. I tried to make myself think of something other than the massive needle sucking my blood out."

"Stop being so dramatic and call your best friend, let him know you are alive and you will take care of yourself from now on," I gave her a strong look. What I said was more along the lines you, 'you have me back now and I will make damn sure you do not get out of bed before nine am and you get in bed at nine pm every night to get a good twelve hours of sleep to sort out your life' but since no one knew our break-up was completely faked and we were actually more than fine, I didn't want her mentioning my name to Zayn.

I wasn't in the mood to get my ass kicked.

"If you think this little incident is going to stop me from running my business, you are mistaken, Styles."

"I'm afraid the gentleman is not mistaken, Miss Kensington," the doctor interrupted us as soon as he stepped back in the room. I turned around a little and pushed my chair back to see him better. "I have had your file requested to be able to go through your records and it seems as though you have been pushing yourself over your limit for years now."

"Which means I'm close to a burnout which could lead to depression and death," Kensington interrupted the doctor. "I have been through this, many times before. I know."

"Then, I believe there is no reason for me to list all the symptoms and what they collectively may do to you long-term."

"If I lose my hair, I lose my hair, doc," Renleigh tried to joke but other than her, no one seemed to find it amusing. "There are wigs for a reason."

"Tell me, Miss Kensington. What do you think 'burnout' means?"

"Probably overworking myself."

"Overworking yourself is one of the symptoms," he corrected her. "You see, burnout is about 'not enough.' Always wanting more and doing everything in your power to achieve it, even if you may feel like you have nowhere to reach anymore. Tell me, why is it that you are in New York?"

"Is this a therapy session or something?" she asked. The doctor chuckled and placed his hard-back folder on the bed, his hands on top of it as he waited for Ren to speak. "Fine... I'm here because I decided to expand my company and the new headquarters is here."

"Very well. How does that make you feel?"

"I'm sorry, why am I getting these questions asked?" she pushed further. I just sat there and tried to understand where the doctor was going with this. "I thought you were supposed to tell me what my results are."

"I'm simply making sure you know what is happening to you by explaining the things you are feeling mentally, emotionally and physically. For that to happen, I need you to realise it on your own so you believe me when I tell you about your results."

"Fine. You were right saying I am determined to reach more even the tank is empty. I guess that's where the stress of managing complete idiots comes in, on top of dealing with personal shit like someone from my past trying to blow up my building or hurt the people close to me. It doesn't let me sleep, not that I was ever a good sleeper. It puts me on edge. It makes me want more and more and even though it worked this time as I managed to get a deal sealed off that was to my liking, I still feel empty and like I have achieved nothing. I'm drained in all the possible areas I can think of yet stopping is not one of the many things on my mind."

"Great. Now, that you have realised you are seriously affecting your overall health by trying to do more when really, you should rest, I am writing you a note for some time off of work."

"I appreciate the concern, but I will be fine."

"Miss Kensington, that was not a suggestion but somewhat of an order. I have come across people like yourself who were in the same position and I made the mistake of letting them leave and go about their lives the way they have before. Not a year, or even half a year later, they were back with their symptoms more serious than at first. The patient was diagnosed with ME, which is also known as Mylagic Encephalomyelitis or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and they were housebound. The burnout turned into something serious they have to deal with for the rest of their life. In your case, that is avoidable. You may be at a very dangerous stage of your burnout but it is still manageable."

"What do we need to do about it?" I asked finally. The things he said were making me go crazy and I couldn't understand how Renleigh was so calm about everything. I was losing my mind and she was joking about her health like it didn't matter. I wasn't sure if that was how she coped with the news, but it sure as hell made me feel everything but calm.

"It is now the top priority to rest. Catch up on some well deserved sleep and give the body the refreshments and nutrients it had been shut off from. Finding a balance in life is really important in this case and very needed. Renleigh now needs to find meaning and satisfaction somewhere other than within the four walls of her office—find a hobby, make new friends. Find something that brings joy to the everyday life."

"So, now I gotta sack off all the hard work I have done? Great. Can't wait to see my company drive itself into the ground," she complained and I understood her pain. Her job was everything to her but she was everything to me. She needed to save her job but I needed her to save herself first.

"I will deal with it," I reassured her as I grabbed her hand and squeezed it. "What other advice could you give, doctor?"

"Basically, she just needs to reevaluate her priorities and get into a routine of a healthy lifestyle. With what you have told me today, I would also advise seeing a therapist to help with the trauma that you have been dealing with and just in general to talk about issues at work or in the personal life," he concluded. He then picked up his board and flicked through the papers. "Other than that, blood tests were fine and there is nothing to worry about."

• • •

a.n.

so on a scale from 10-10 how much do u hate me lmfao technically, you shouldn't cos your favourite couple is back to normal but if we take the last handful of chapters into consideration you probably dislike me v much for causing you pain 

and you will dislike me even more when i tell u that i'm not even sorry cos we all needed a bit of drama so 💆🏽‍♀️ you're welcome

xoxo