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Renleigh Kensington

1 YEAR LATER: MAY 2020

Sometimes I wondered if I had 'stupid' written over my forehead or if people just assumed that I was. Other times, it very much felt like I spoke to a damn wall because the orders requested somehow all seemed to be done wrong.

All this time, I patiently waited for when I will say this but goddamn, I missed my London bunch a fuck ton.

I mean, how hard is it to follow step-by-step instructions? Not that hard, right? Yet my new employees—god bless those few who decided to take up on the opportunity to come and work for me in New York—were just thick. That was it. I didn't even feel bad for saying that. They were fucking stupid or perhaps they just acted that way, thinking it would get them out of the shit they had to do.

Whatever it was, my stress levels were sky high and I had no idea how these people managed to get through the selection process or how I was going to have anything done by the deadlines given.

One of the supervisors thankfully decided to come to New York with me so at least I had them to help me out with these lost souls. Usually, I was all for new comers. I enjoyed the fresh talent I could squeeze out of them but this bunch... I wasn't that invested in who got hired, I let the team deal with it, but from what I saw, there were a few who graduated from universities like Harvard and Yale. So, I genuinely did wonder how they still managed to fuck up the tasks they were given.

Oh, how I knew this if I wasn't directly working with them or present at the interviews? I ensured that all the managers were people I knew from London. This meant I already had a great work relationship with them and I could trust them to do their work. And because I trusted them that much, I felt a little disappointed when the new employees came through and performed so awfully.

Then I had to remind myself that not all of them were experienced and they didn't roll the way I wanted them to or the way my other employees did and so stressing over this was just going to make me go insane. When I needed a bit of reminder of this, I sent Danielle an email to check in on what was happening back home. Taking employees with me meant that I had to fill in the spots that became available and although it took me almost a month to find the candidates who I knew I could trust and I could leave in an already established workplace, I thought I did quite good. Especially for someone who had never really done that part of the operation. It was mainly for my own peace of mind—I wanted to be the one to help with the final staff so I could make sure my business didn't end up in shambles.

Speaking of which, when I got back the files I wanted, for a second, I really believed that it would happen. I pinched my nose with my fingers once I pushed my glasses up on my head and took a deep breath.

They're only just starting out. You did things wrong yourself when you were in their shoes. It's not the end of the world. Calm down.

Pep talks became my only anchor, the thing that calmed me down before I was out of my office in an instant and down the corridor to find the employee at fault.

"Mike, is it?" I asked the man in the navy suit. He nodded swiftly and swallowed nervously. "Hi," I smiled at him extra sweetly, to the point where it was fake. "Would you mind going over this for me? Just to ensure there are no mistakes."

"Miss Kensington, I have made sure there were no mis-,"

"Ah!" I moved my hand up, my index finger in his face as I interrupted him.

"I made su-,"

I kept my smile and tilted my head slightly, the other people around us slowly stopped in their tracks to listen to our conversation. Making a scene in front of employees was not my forte but then again, I was used to my old employees who didn't stop and stare but carried on working. I suppose there is a certain beauty in being surrounded by the same people for so long—they just know what to do and what not to do.

"An hour, Mr Evans," I pushed the folder back in his hand then turned to the right side where I caught a few of them with a smirk on their faces. "Back to work," I said with a stern voice then left.

Maybe I did miss being a twatty boss. But that was all because I liked things done in a certain way, at a certain time. When that was not achieved, I brought out my tough side, the one that I had to keep in hiding for a while because it wasn't needed. But damn, did it feel good to be an asshat again?!

My office was not the same. I missed the double doors, the cameras, the buzz in doors. One thing that may have had the chance to outdo my London building was the view. The top floor provided the most gorgeous view ever, the city beneath me always buzzed from life and that was something I couldn't find in London. I didn't mind that, however. I enjoyed my home city better in that sense. New York was way too hectic for me, at least it was for the first four-to-five months. I somewhat got used to this place never sleeping and I have also been faced with one too many robberies and random people walking around with their guns in the back of their jeans.

Although that may have been due to the fact that I got lost the first time I went out and had no idea how to find my way back. Which was how I got lost in the first place and found myself in one of those areas that are shown in movies and told in stories. It gave me the creeps and I have never been so fucking scared in my life. My whole body was shaking and my mind went crazy with potential scenarios that could unfold right in front of me which made me super emotional and left me with teary eyes. Being out in the dark in a place where you have never been before and didn't know your way around was definitely in the top three scariest situations ever.

"Miss Kensington," two knocks after the door to my office opened and I was welcomed by the lovely face of my PA. I had no choice but to drag Liam out with me, there was no way in fucking hell I was going to look for another assistant. Miss Jones found herself a perfectly suitable one for the time being as well although she made sure I knew she will not take my spot at the London HQ forever.

"Is it another failure? If so, please deal with it—I can't face anymore mistakes today."

"I would say it's quite the opposite," he smiled. I raised my eyebrow curiously and watched him walk all the way up to my desk. He then dropped a folder in front of me and twisted it around so I could read it. "The final agreement, signed and dated, indicating that both headquarters are secure and unless stated otherwise by the CEO of the company—Miss Renleigh Sage Kensington—, neither of them can be shut down or taken over by the individuals who helped to open this office. This one piece of paper also confirms that you're at the top of the chain with Miss Danielle Jones as your temporary back up for both headquarters." 

"Ah, wonderful," I grinned as I read over the paper at the same time Liam confirmed it in words. "Really pleased with this, Mr Payne. You worked quick and got them to sign it faster than I could have managed to achieve this with all the newbies slowing me down and keeping me from meeting deadlines."

"I'll take that as a thank you and I'll be on my way," he smiled and nodded a little, his response made me smirk and I sighed as I placed the piece of paper back in its place. "Oh, one more thing—the Aston Martin you bought the other day? They're dropping it off here in fifteen minutes and I heard there is a special gift coming with it."

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked, slightly confused because the last time I had a talk over my new car, the dealer didn't mention any extra add on.

"It's a surprise for a reason, Miss Kensington," Liam smiled at me then left my office.

Soon after, I packed my things up and decided to leave too. I locked my office door then took the quickest lift ride down and found my PA sitting on one of the sofas. He was on the phone to someone but motioned for me to go outside and I followed.

Then I saw my new baby.

Oh my god.

It was so fucking pretty. Red with a black top and rims. God. A DBS Superleggera. I have wanted an Aston Martin for so long but I never really thought I could get it. It was always a dream car and, in all honesty, so was my Lamborghini, Jaguar and Maserati. But this one... god, I just knew this would fit in with my other babies so nice.

Then I got a bit confused because the man who I imagined would deliver it, was nowhere to be seen. With furrowed eyebrows, I was close to taking my phone out when the car door opened and revealed a person.

Someone who I didn't imagine would be there.

"Is this some kind of sick joke?" I chuckled in disbelief. I have not seen, spoken to or heard from Harry in over three months. At first, I imagined that would happen due to my inability to reach out to people therefore I was more than shocked when I was the one getting pied. And so, the fact that he turned up here, in my new car, pretty much out of the blue, kind of equalled to a slap on the fucking cheek. "What are you doing here?"

"Renleigh, let me explain," he said as soon as he closed the door and walked up to me. I raised both of my eyebrows so high up my forehead that I must have looked insane, my arms crossed in front of my chest as I annoyingly waited for his bitch ass to say something.

"How much more of my time are you going to waste on standing there?" I asked sternly.

"Right-right, I'm sorry I... these past few months have been challenging and I could barely keep my head up. I broke my promise of making sure we won't drift away and you have no idea how it makes me feel to know that I neglected you for so long."

"Get in the car," I mumbled as I walked past him and sat in the driver's seat. I bought this car so that when I moved back, I only had to change the license plates, meaning I had them place the steering wheel on the right side. I had no problem driving on the other side of the road here so I knew I would manage just fine.

After Harry got in the car, I started it. Before that, I sent a text to Liam to let him know I was off for a bit and he is in charge until I'm back. I needed to be away from work in order to speak to my boyfriend because I wasn't about to talk about our relationship with work people around.

"I can't believe you had the audacity to show up here," I chuckled as I waited for the lights to turn green so I could go. The indicator made a soft clicking noise as I turned it on.

"Talking to you about the past few months over a phone call or FaceTime wouldn't have felt right," he said.

"You could've told me you had shit going on."

"Yes, I could have. I'm sorry I didn't," he apologised and I sighed. There was nothing that could have been done to change the past and I had to let it go.

"So tell me what you couldn't tell me over the phone," I asked. I needed a few minutes to calm down so I could look at the situation with a clear head, no more anger aimed towards him for ignoring each time I tried to reach out.

"I have had the worst fight with my mother. Funnily enough, my dad started it so I have no idea how I ended up getting pretty much disowned by her but the facts are there. She said she is fed up of my life decisions, the way I do things and it really set me off so I brought up how I wasn't a fan of the way she deals with things," he said in one go. The frustration was clear in his voice and I understood him completely. However, the way he wanted me to tell him whenever something bothered me or caused me to be sad, I wanted him to tell me whenever something bothered him or caused him to be sad.

"Your mother takes you for granted and treats you like shit. You deserve someone better than that. As for your father, I'm disappointed in him—I thought you two had somewhat of a relationship so the fact that he initiated the argument and most likely didn't bother stopping it, is awful. You have every right to be upset about it," I told him and felt like I sounded a bit like him. All of his emotional and encouraging talks rubbed off on me and I finally felt good about being able to hear him out and say something that actually could make him feel better.

"I know. But then on top of that, Livvy somehow caught some kind of virus and it was pretty serious. She kept vomiting, lost a ton of weight, she became really pale and her eyes were just really dull, had black circles and everything. She has never been so ill before and I genuinely had no idea what was wrong with her. She was in hospital for two weeks."

"She's fine now, right?" I asked him.

"She's better, yes," he nodded. "I don't want to sound like I'm moaning but it really did scare me and seeing her so down and weak when I know she's the exact opposite of that was so horrible. I love my siblings so much and it hits me differently when something like this happens to them."

"I'm sorry you had to go through this and I'm sorry you didn't feel like you could call me and tell me about it. All this time, I thought that maybe I said something the last time we talked or you got fed up of me having to tell you I can't talk and won't be available until very late," I shared my feelings with him which I got quite good at.

"Ren, it wasn't something I felt okay talking about over the phone. Not to mention that I didn't want to stress you out more than work does..."

"Are you really gonna give me that shit excuse? Didn't want to stress me out?" I chuckled in disbelief. Eventually, I stopped in a car park, one that was close to a park where I often went when I needed to just be by myself. Zayn showed me this place, actually. "I can deal with my shit and a bit of yours just fine."

"Well, I didn't want you to deal with my problems. Why is that so hard to understand? I would have come to you eventually and told you about everything. Not that you need a reminder, but there is not much you can do from the other side of the world," he told me with a bit of mockery in his voice. He was defensive, a bit more than usual but I just thought that was because I rubbed off on him.

"I feel like you're telling me I can't deal with more than my own problems which is actually fucking hilarious. You constantly tell me we're a partnership, that we work best when we work things out together yet every single time something goes wrong in your life, I somehow don't know about it until it all goes away. And that makes me feel like a useless little sidepiece, someone you go to for a nice time and that's about it," I reminded him of all the occasions this has happened, just this year alone. I didn't want to cause an argument yet here I was, doing just that. I suppose the pent-up anger didn't quite dissolve and he was the lucky person to receive it all in the face. Then again, that was sort of his fault. "You told me I shouldn't blame the distance between us yet here you are, contradicting yourself with each word that leaves your mouth."

"What do you want me to say then?" he kind of shouted at me. I said 'kind of' because he raised his voice and put a bit more power behind them so it sounded like it could have been a shout but it wasn't a full shout. You get me.

"Wow," I laughed and felt completely shocked. "First of all, I want you to take it down a notch. Then, secondly, I want you to tell me what the hell bothers you so much that you say anything just to get a reaction out of me."

"You want to know what bothers me?" he asked rhetorically. "This irrational decision of yours—moving to a completely new country from one moment to another, after having declined the deal for so long. Isn't it slightly strange how you all of a sudden changed your mind?"

"I beg your fucking pardon!"

"Yeah, you heard me right," he laughed, clearly not amused, more so angry and irritated. "I can't deal with the distance; I don't want to and I don't have to."

"What are you saying?" I questioned with an emotionless voice, a straight face yet a racing heart. I didn't want to believe what was happening but also, it was so clear that I couldn't even fool myself. "Styles," I put emphasis on his name as I addressed him. He was stalling. "What are you saying?" I repeated my question.

"I'm saying that I don't want to be with you anymore," he said with such a sharp and cold voice that it genuinely made me tear up. The worst part of it all was, that I completely bought his bullshit because he looked me in the eye. And he did that in a way he always did when he was being honest with me.

"Get out," I said, just above a whisper.

"Is that all you have to say?" he laughed, his own eyes slightly teary which honestly, infuriated me. He had no right to be sad about this. He was the one who pulled the plug—which made no sense, whatsoever—therefore he really shouldn't have looked at me with welled up eyes. "You're not even going to offer to move back?"

"I said, get out," I repeated myself, not even bothering to fight with him over this.

I didn't want to bring up how he promised me the distance wouldn't be a problem for us. I didn't want to bring up how he told me he was supportive through everything I did and everything I ever wanted to do in the future. I didn't want to bring up the times I asked him, over and over again, what he thought of this decision, if I should really go through with it.

I didn't.

For one simple reason.

I didn't want him to have the chance to talk himself out of this. He didn't want me anymore? Well then—he will never have me again.

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a.n.

sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo 

i will see u on wednesday xx