Harry Styles

I had just gotten out of a meeting in Italy when my phone vibrated and call after call came through. They were all from different people—first it was an unknown number then it was my PA trying to get in touch and then Niall. They kept calling and calling, thinking I wasn't a busy man in a middle of meetings.

Finally, I picked up Niall's call since in that moment, he was the one to ring me.

"Hey, sorry about that. I was just in a meeti-,"

"Renleigh's headquarters is on a lockdown. There was a potential bomb threat and there were at least two gunshots."

"I'm sorry what?" I asked back in complete shock. The last time I spoke to Renleigh, she was fine and busy going into a meeting with a new investor. Now, the building was on lockdown? "You are fucking with me, right? What the fuck is going on? Is she safe?"

"I only found out about it like twenty minutes ago and I have been calling you non-stop. I was driving by the building and I saw a bunch of police cars coming my way, it was like something out of a fucking film," he explained. "I'm still here, waiting for more news. Had to use the cousin card to get some information but as far as everyone is aware, no one has been injured."

"Fucking hell," I mumbled as my whole body just stopped and the shock rushed through me. I began to panic and my breathing got heavy. Ren was in potential danger and I was in a different fucking country. Of course, something like this would happen when I'm away. "Fuck. Okay. I'm coming home. Please, keep me updated."

"Woah, mate, you can't come home," he told me. "You are there for work. Important work. I will look after Renleigh, yeah? She's got plenty of people here to ensure her safety as soon as she gets out. You stay in Italy and work away."

"Do you seriously think I can stay here after what you just told me?"

"No. I think you want to come home and be the first one to hug her but you need to focus on your career, also. She will understand," he tried to reason with me but it sounded like complete fucking bullshit. There was nothing he could have said to make me stay put, no matter how pure his intentions were.

"Okay. Anyway. Keep me up to date with everything they tell you. If they are saying they need more backup—I want you to text me about it. If one police car leaves or arrives—you text me about it. You are thirsty, you're telling me."

"I was going to whether or not you asked me."

"See, this is why we're best mates. Now, call me as soon as something happens. I'll be home in an hour."

Once I made sure the jet was ready to set off, I hurried back to my hotel and packed up my shit. It took me about twenty minutes to get to the airport and nothing happened in London so far. I kept texting Niall and he just told me the same things over and over again. It was irking me, making me very jumpy and definitely wish I could be home already. It seemed crazy to me that the one time I wasn't with her, the one time I wasn't there to have lunch with her in her office, this happened.

Straight from Heathrow, I got picked up and taken to her headquarters. There was traffic, horrible traffic, and I thought I was never going to get there on time. I was on edge and my mind was long gone so when my phone went off—I had to turn the sound on—it scared the shit out of me.

"Niall."

"The team they sent in like before you got on your flight are still inside. Apparently, they are trying to locate the bomb which actually turned into multiple ones. Whoever did this, must have planned this for a while, I reckon," he filled me in. I didn't even know what the hell to say to that. Louis went way too far with this whole situation and I prayed he would get taken in handcuffs by the time I arrived.

I mean, he had to be the one behind this. He caused all of our troubles lately and so he was the only person I could think of.

"They still haven't evacuated the building?" I asked him, frustrated.

"No," he huffed. "Wait..." he said and I heard someone speak into a megaphone. I didn't hear what they really said, just loud words which made me wonder if they were bringing the people out. "Hey, no—that is my cousin in there, I need to see her!" Niall fought as he addressed Renleigh as her cousin. That would have made me chuckle in any other situation but right now, I just wanted to get out of the car and walk the damn distance myself so I could try to convince the security people there to let us stay there.

"Mr Styles, we are here," the driver told me as he looked at me through the rear-view mirror. I didn't even realise we stopped and when he said that, I whipped my head towards the window to see the sea of people outside.

"Thank you," I mumbled as I was already half way over to Niall, the door already closed behind me. I quickly spotted my mate and walked over to him, the phone still pressed to his ear which made me look at mine. The call was still on and he probably thought I was still listening. "Niall..."

"Oh, hey?" he said, clearly confused as to how I got here so fucking fast. And honestly, it was a bit crazy but I guess that is one of the many perks of having a private jet and all that jazz. "Not even gonna ask how this was possible-," he moved his hands in front of me as he spoke about how I was already there. "-but they just told me they will start evacuating the building. The bombs are secure—well, the ones they found because there were not as many as said—and... oh, would you look at those men in handcuffs."

Sure enough, there were at least ten men coming out in handcuffs, Louis Tomlinson, however, nowhere to be seen when we both turned towards the scene. That alone infuriated me because I genuinely believed he would be here, carrying out the dirty work. Then again, he was never really one to put his hands anywhere.

Forcefully, I bit down on my teeth and my jaw tensed up. It angered me greatly that he was still out there. The fact that he still had loyal men by his side to do whatever he ordered them to do, was just simply unbelievable.

It felt like it had been hours since the first people got out of the building and yet, Renleigh was still nowhere to be seen. I swear everyone was out but her. I walked up and down next to Niall's car, the nerves got the best of me and I resulted to biting my nails in distress.

"Lad, I think she's coming now," Niall nudged me and I was ready to run towards her when my friend held me back. "Wait. Someone's been hurt," he stated the obvious when the ambulance rolled towards the entrance, my heart rate picked up and my mouth went dry. That was enough for me to yank my hand out of his grasp and push myself through the crowd.

"Sir, you cannot go past here," the man in the uniform told me like I didn't already know that.

"Tell me, would someone saying that to you stop you from doing what you shouldn't do if someone you loved was on the other side of the divider?" I asked but waited for no reply as I carried on. "Yeah, didn't think so."

The ambulance doors were opened by the time I made my way over to the vehicle, my heart almost through my chest with how worked up the situation had gotten me and Renleigh's upset voice was all I heard.

"This is all my fucking fault. I can't believe this happened. Zayn, I'm—I will make this right, I promise," she said. She sounded extremely broken and hurt, perhaps the most hurt I have ever heard her.

"Hey, I'm alive, right?" the man asked as he sat there with his arm patched up. "Harry, hey man."

"Zayn, are you alright?" I asked him then instantly turned towards my girlfriend who was clearly shaken up. Her hair messy and her makeup slightly smeared under her eyes. As I placed my hand on her shoulder, she jumped a little and her whole body was shaking. "Baby, what happened? You're not hurt, are you?"

"This is all my fault," she mumbled with her eyes teary and lips pouted. My eyebrows pulled together, I felt so fucking horrible for what she had to go through in there. "I shouldn't have kept it all a secret—I should have gone to the police or my parents and-and-,"

"Hey, no," I whispered as I pulled her to my chest and wrapped my arms around her tightly. She needed a hug that pulled her together because she seemed to be all over the place and I needed her in my arms to reassure myself she was safe. I was insanely relieved that she was okay and in one piece, without a scratch on her. I pressed a bunch on kisses on the top of her head as I hugged her to my chest before I placed my hands on her shoulders and said, "None of this is your fault, alright?"

"He is right, Ren," Zayn added to my speech. "You couldn't have known this was going to happen and I made the choice of getting in front of you to push you out of the way. Me getting grazed by the bullet—that is none of your fault. If anything, that's mine, alright?"

"Fuck, are you sure it was a graze if you are bleeding through your bandage?" I asked with a grimace, worried and the nurse on the side whipped her head towards us.

"I don't think that's helping her, mate," the model said just above a whisper and nodded towards Renleigh.

"Excuse me but you are going to have to let the gentleman go. He is need of-,"

"Yes, sorry, of course," I interrupted the lady then I looked back at Zayn. "Just let us know where they take you and we'll go see you soon, yeah?"

"I will be in and out, there is no need," he smiled. "Take care of her, yeah?"

"Of course," I said right away. I appreciated that he was so protective of her and the fact that he pretty much saved her from a bullet wound... "Hey, um, thank you for—well, just thank you, you know."

"Again, no need, Harry," he smiled. I nodded and we watched as they helped him in the ambulance to then take him away to patch him up.

"Are you sure you are not hurt, baby?" I asked her again, completely worried that things could have gone terribly wrong. I felt useless and helpless because I couldn't take away what she felt and I didn't even know what happened in there other than the bomb threat and the gunshots that Niall mentioned.

"Yeah, I'm-I'm fine," she replied. "What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in Italy for work?"

"Work?" I laughed in disbelief. "You're worried about my job?" I asked her, completely blown by the fact that she even had it in her to think of me. "I'm done with work, I was gonna come back home tonight, anyway," I told her just to calm her mind. "I knew I couldn't wait when I heard what was going on. I can't believe this happened and I was out of the country."

"I can't believe it happened at all..."

"It was him, wasn-,"

"Miss Kensington?" a police officer called for the woman standing opposite to me, his voice stern and curious as he looked for her.

"Yes, that's me."

"I would like to ask you a couple of questions about the incident, if that is okay with you."

"Sure," she replied. "Here or...?"

"Yes, and for confidentiality reasons, it is best if you could give us a moment, Sir," he looked at me. That, however, was not an option for me. I didn't want to leave her alone after what happened and I assumed she knew that because she looked at me with a pleading facial expression.

"I'll be fine," she said and placed her hand on my shoulder. She rubbed my arm gently and nodded to reassure me. "Go."

• • •

I didn't know how she switched so quick. It was like nothing ever happened. I took her back to mine where I made her get a shower, quick and easy, because I knew she would have too much time to think if she sat in a bath full of water and nicely smelling bubbles. I then made sure to order food in by the time she was done with a full shower and body feeling like a baby's bum from the moisturiser so she could sit down and fill her stomach. There was a small conversation between us, just her asking me how my time was in Italy and her somewhat apologising for taking me away from my work. It genuinely shocked me how she felt like she had to apologise for something like that when she knew I would always put her and her safety first.

Once we were finished with our food, I decided to clean up whilst she spoke to Zayn on the phone. I could tell she was truly worried about the man and she blamed herself for what happened. She was on the phone to him for quite a bit, I assumed he tried to make her feel better about the situation and just pretty much allowed her to talk about whatever she was feeling.

I thought that was a first. Well, first for me as in knowing about it. As far as I knew, she only opened up to me but I was more than okay with her letting Zayn in, too. Like I told her many times, it was good to have friends and she needed some good people around her after all that she has been through.

"How are you feeling?" I asked as I cuddled her up in my arms, her body between my legs and her head on my chest as we got comfortable on the couch in my living room. The latest season of Lucifer was playing on Netflix that we both anticipated after we binge watched the first half of the seasons available.

"Guilty," she mumbled and moved a little. Her hot forehead pressed against my neck as she pushed her hand under the material of my short-sleeved shirt and held onto my shoulder. Her long nails ran across my skin from time to time which I always enjoyed. "Upset. Really fucking pissed off. Kinda scared."

"I'm sorry you are feeling like this," I rested my chin on top of her head and carefully laced my fingers through her hair from the nape of her neck. I gently massaged her scalp as I stared ahead of me and just held her close to me. She was safe and nothing happened to her physically.

"Nothing we can do," she said quietly. "They told me they will question those men as soon as they get back to the station and go from there."

"Hm," I hummed. "Do you think they will give Louis up?"

"I hope they will. It might knock off a few years of their time in jail if they do."

I didn't reply with anything to that. It seemed a bit crazy. Someone I knew from my childhood was now out there in the world, plotting all these horrible things to people I loved. I wondered how this all came about. I mean, it couldn't have only been the fact that Renleigh owed money, right? It wasn't that much. Maybe a couple of weeks' worth of money but that is it. That should not be enough of a motive to make someone sell drugs and then go and try to blow up a whole building with so many people in it.

"Harry?"

"Hm?"

"Do you think it's possible to care for people in a way you haven't done before?" her question was so open and vague, so sudden that it caught me completely off guard.

"I'm not sure what you mean," I said. "Like-,"

"Well, obviously, you care for your siblings differently than you care for your friends."

"Yes."

"And you care for me differently than you care for them or anyone you have in the past, right?" she asked, which confused me even more. I was about to open my mouth to say something when she raised her head up and looked at me curiously. I pursed my lips and exhaled through my nose. "So, I guess what I'm trying to ask is if it's possible to care for someone more than you thought it was possible or in a way you don't care for others?"

"Yeah, I think so," I said. "When we started going out, I knew I liked you more than you liked me and when I realised, I cared for you, I always thought I would care for you more than anyone else. Plus, the way I feel about you is not something I have experienced before—it feels so much more intense and-and right, I think. Yeah... it feels right."

"Does it make you feel foolish? Does it make you feel like an idiot? Like, does it frustrate you because you can't explain it?" she dropped questions on me which were all very Renleigh questions. It took me a little bit to come up with an answer.

"Yes, but in a way that is good. It's good foolishness, it's the good idiot feel and the good frustration."

"You are crazy," she shook her head as she pushed herself up and sat across from me with her legs crossed. Her cheek was red from laying on my chest for so long and her hair was messy from how much I played with it. She looked so homey and soft, I wanted to kiss her and live in that moment forever.

"Yeah. I am, I guess," I chuckled as I kept my eyes on her, a soft smile homed on my lips after. "No one has ever made me feel like the way you do. I told you once before and I'm telling you again—I never want to stop feeling like this. It's-it's so indescribable and yes, you are right. It makes me feel foolish and like an idiot and it definitely frustrates me. But that is only because it's so good—being with you, is like nothing I have ever experienced."

"Well shit," she laughed. "You really do feel the 'L' word for me."

"You are so scared of love that I actually find it amusing now," I said. Renleigh chuckled then licked her lips. "No, I'm serious. It's like you think it's a disease or some kind of unholy word that you cannot physically say or allow yourself to feel because it's like you think you will end up in hell for doing so."

"I will end up in hell, whether I allow myself to feel it or say it or not."

"So, then what is stopping you?" I asked, genuinely. "I know your past relationship didn't quite work out the way you would have liked it to and the wanker did a number on you. However, I'm completely different from him."

"See!" she said right away, her index finger in my face. "That's just it," she laughed. "You are different. In every way and every sense. You are nothing like Wolf or anyone I have ever encountered and I don't know why but it scares me so much that it resulted in me pushing you away for as long as I could," she admitted and caught me off guard with that. I never expected her to just drop this on me. The way she felt so comfortable to say that, genuinely made me so happy and proud of her for doing it. She came so far from when we started going out and I don't even think she realised.

"And then somehow, I just-I don't know. I didn't give up but I feel like I gave in and now I'm here and so confused about everything that I know and feel. Which, I don't even know, what is—this feeling in me," she explained. She sounded rather frustrated, fed up of not being able to express herself in a way she truly wanted to. That explained her questions about caring for people from a few moments ago. "I have this longing for you when you are away. Like... I miss you but then I know I will see you but I still miss you and it makes me feel so stupid because you are right there—right here. And I still miss you. Like now," she said. "I know I sound mental, I probably am, not going to lie. But it's so fucked. I can't even explain it."

"Is this why you were asking me about how I care about different people in different ways?"

"Sort of," she sighed. "Whenever I try to think of what this could be, I compare it to my last relationship. But there is nothing to compare it to. Then I try to replay everything in my head that you said to me. Everything you ever said you felt for me or whatever and that doesn't match to anything, either."

She put her legs down and placed her hands on her thighs. I watched her every move carefully as I gathered my thoughts and tried to make sense of what she was trying to tell me. It was somewhat clear yet I wasn't too sure I should have said what I thought she meant.

"Renleigh, what is it that you are trying to tell me?" I asked her quietly. I patiently waited for her to look at me and when she did, all I saw was a lost little girl. She stared at me like she didn't know what was going on and shook her head.

"I wish I knew, Styles," she said. "I wish I knew."

But I already knew the answer to my question.

• • •

a.n.

KSJSKAKSJSKSKSKSKKSKSKSJDKEJDJD

HE KNOWSSSSSSSS FUCKERS HE KNOOOOOOWS BRUH

ugh. renleigh talking about her feelings and trying to understand them is so HOT i wish i had her character development irl 😔✋🏼 

also harry loves her so fucking much why don't i have a harry in my life cba so sad

plspls vote n comment n imma see u soon xoxo