Harry Styles

In the twenty-four years I have spent on this planet, I have had a chance to wake up next to someone after a full night of sleep and feel happy. Trust me, I really have. I have loved people in my life who I felt lucky to have in my arms of a morning.

Yes, there is a 'but' coming.

But with Renleigh, it was nothing like any of those mornings. There was nothing to compare it to, not that my past lovers were comparable. There was something else with her though, something that I never felt and found hard to describe because I didn't really understand it either.

It was the kind of happiness that felt natural, that felt right, that felt like I have always had it. It was the kind of warmth in my chest and stomach that I enjoyed and never wanted to disappear or perhaps turn cold. It was the kind of calmness that is described in books when someone looks out to the sea or sits on a grass covered mountain.

At the same time, though, it was something that I have had enough of by the time I was awake again. Renleigh was a sleep-talker and she tossed- and turned a lot, too. Cuddling her was only nice until she truly fell asleep because once she was no longer conscious, it was a matter of 'which part of my body will I get kicked in tonight' and meanwhile that was funny in theory, it was not so much in practice.

Even as I let my eyes settle on her soft features in the morning, it was different. She wasn't cuddled up to me like I would have thought she would be. She was on her side but faced towards me with a stuffed pig pressed to her chest under the quilt that was pulled all the way up to her chin. Her hair was not in her face but all over her pillow and I wondered how the hell it looked so knotless.

Suddenly, I caught her eyebrows furrow and then loosen again as she sighed and scrunched up her nose for a few seconds. The cheek she slept on made her lips pucker and they were slightly open but she seemed to breathe through her nose.

"Gonna poke your eyes out."

"Oh my god!" I exclaimed as she suddenly spoke up. My heart went insane inside my chest at the unexpected comment that left her mouth and I closed my eyes for a short second. When I looked back at her, she was smirking with her eyes opened this time, slightly squinted. "How long were you awake for?"

"Hm-mhm," she hummed as she tried to say she didn't know. I shook my head as I pulled the quilt over her head and pushed down on it a bit.

"That's for scaring the fuck out of me," I said after I pulled it back off of her face.

"Next time you should just suffocate me with the pillow. More effective," she replied in a low and croaky voice. It was much deeper and fuller in the morning which was something I had noticed time and time again. I adored the way she sounded right after she woke up, all sleepy and cute, a little grumpy and out of it as she adjusted back into the real world. "I speak from experience."

"I had no doubts about that, darling," I replied. Her sense of humour was something else, again. And, see... waking up with her was just like this. Completely normal yet completely opposite to what they shown in movies or written in books. Other than the feelings she made me feel, nothing else was the same.

"You know 'cos you can cook," she began to say as she turned on her back and yawned with her hand in front of her mouth. I hummed as she did so and then waited for her to carry on. "Would you want to come Tesco with me today? I need to get stuff for my fridge and also you could teach me how to make stuff because I'm shit at cooking but also want to make something myself you know."

"Yeah, sure," I nodded. "I might have to pop in to work today to sign some stuff – at least that's all I have gathered from my schedule that Jamie sent over this morning – but we can definitely do that."

"Oh, alright," she replied. We stayed quiet after that until she spoke up. "I'm bursting for a wee."

"You know where the loo's at."

"Effort though, innit?"

"Since when do you say innit?" I chuckled.

"Since your stupid Northern ass rubbed off on me," she groaned.

I hummed as I thought. I felt my smirk spread across my face although before I even had the chance to say something, Renleigh beat me to it.

"It's still breakfast, lunch and dinner," she stated. "You will never win that debate."

"Never say never."

"Alright, that's my cue to go, Justin," she mumbled as she rolled out of bed. Her shirt slipped up on her back until she sat up and the material covered her skin immediately. The Monsters Inc. themed pyjama set – short sleeved top and long bottoms – made me smile softly as I watched her leave the room.

I was on my phone, chatting to my friends in our iMessage groupchat when Kensington came back in the room. She jumped in bed and cuddled under the quilt as she grabbed the pig from my stomach. It worked great as a phone stabiliser. Her hair was up in a bun this time around as she kept her eyes closed.

"You're extremely lazy this morning," I commented as I put an 'x' at the end of my text to make it a bit more sarcastic then sent it, clicked out of the chat and locked my phone. "I'm not used to this."

"I'm like this most mornings," she mumbled. "Work tires me out so much and then when I drink, it just kills me pretty much."

"Baby."

"I like when you call me that. No one calls me cute names," she swooned and I couldn't keep my forehead creased or my eyes serious any longer. "But I know what you're gonna say."

"Then you must know how much I dislike this lifestyle of yours."

"Tough shit, my man," she curled her hand into a fist before she punched me in the shoulder but it wasn't hard. In fact, it was the softest punch she ever threw at me. "Damn, I'm so weak."

"Come work out with me," I mentioned. "I have a PT. I'm sure he could take you on, too."

"Not a bad idea," she hummed. "But I bet he'd put me on a diet and shit and that means no wine or chocolate."

"I thought that but he works around my taste and stuff and it's pretty nice," I explained. "At some point, I thought I would need to hire a chef or something to make sure I'll be in shape and everything but I'm fine without one."

"I always wanted a personal chef, oh my god," she rambled. "Imagine how amazing it would be to come home to nicely prepared meals, still steaming from being just done as you get in the house. Mhm. All the gorgeous cakes and shit," she carried on and it made me grin happily.

"Let's move in together and then we can get one," I said randomly. "It would make more sense that way."

"Slow down, lover boy," she scoffed. "I let you sleep in my bed and that was a great deal to me. Let's not talk about moving in for at least two years, alright?"

"You see us live together two years from now?"

"No," she said with a stifled laugh. "I just said something."

"Oh," I replied as I forced a smile on my face. I really needed to learn how to handle her rejecting me better because it only hurt me.

"Wait, shit," she sat up quickly and leaned closer. "I can't be a bitch to you anymore, right? Because you'll leave and I'll be alone again and I can't be dealing with that."

"Ren."

"Har."

"Har?" I asked back with a chuckle. "That's new."

"Well, you said the first three letters of my name so I said the first three of yours."

"Oh."

"Why? Did you like it or something?"

"No one calls me Har, it's different. So, I do," I smiled shyly. "Livvy calls me Hal."

"And you call her Livvy."

"Yeah," I nodded. "But back to you thinking I will leave... well, I won't. Need I remind you I lo-,"

"No," she said quickly. "Don't say it."

"Well, I do."

"Okay. That's great. But I don't want you to say it because I can't say it back."

"That shouldn't stop me from expressing myself, though," I stated.

"I mean, true. But it makes me feel guilty. It's like- like I leave you hanging. I know it's not nice," I raised my eyebrows at her comment. "Wolf left me hanging most of the time. It hurt. So, I don't want you to say it because I know it feels shit."

"He did a number on you, didn't he?" I asked but it was more of a statement. "It's OK, Renleigh. I don't- don't mind you not saying it back."

"I do because I don't wanttohurtyou," she said quickly and I frowned.

"You wouldn't hurt me."

"I know I would. Don't make me feel better about it. Fuck. I'm making this about myself," she groaned. "Go and get ready. Do you want coffee? Or tea? OK, I'll make tea. See you downstairs."

As she rambled, I watched her slip in her dressing gown and tie it around her middle. She picked up her phone and as soon as the last word was out in the open, she was out of the room. After that, I had no choice but to take her advice and get ready.

In clothes similar to yesterday's, I made it downstairs. I was ready in every sense other than my hair. That was a mess. A curly mess. Washing it last night and then not blow drying it meant it was out of control and I didn't even have it in me to try.

"Sorry, I really wasn't expecting you," Kensington chuckled and I furrowed my eyebrows as I heard her voice. Someone was here and it made me freeze.

"That's fine, dear," a woman chuckled. I didn't know she knew any women. I mean, I did. But like I didn't know if that makes sense. "I was around here and decided to pop in. I haven't seen you for weeks."

"Yeah, Christmas was... eventful," she responded. So, this was a family member then. Okay. Brace yourself, Styles. "How's everything then? How's Jamie?"

"He's a bit stressed at work, you know, new year and all- thank you," she took the glass from Renleigh as she said that and I made an appearance at the same time. "Oh. Hello there," she smiled at me.

"Good morning," I said with a gentle smile. "I'm Harry."

"Harry with the crazy hair," she chuckled and I licked my lips a little as I chuckled. "I'm Allie, it's nice to meet you."

"Allie," I repeated. That name sounded familiar. "Well, I'm sorry to just interrupt your chatting-,"

"You should be."

"Oh, honey, it's fine!"

They said at the same time and I smirked whilst Allie laughed and Kensington tried to hide her smile away.

"If anything, I should be apologising for turning up unannounced," she carried on. "I had no idea Renleigh had company."

"Please..." she sighed. "It's only Harry."

"Ouch," I placed my hand on my chest as I faked a hurt face. Kensington rolled her eyes at me and brought a mug over to me, filled with tea. It was just how I drank it. I stepped closer and kissed her cheek before I walked to the other side of the kitchen island and sat down. Through it all, I felt two pairs of eyes on me and it made me smile smugly.

"So..." Renleigh said to carry on the conversation I rudely interrupted.

"Oh, right... I was just going to talk to you about Jamie's birthday party. It's coming up soon and his dad and I were thinking of something nice."

"You know our relationship is not the best but I'm sure dads, Brandon and I will make it to the party regardless," she smiled at the woman but I could tell it was forced. And what she said was a load of crap. She was good at masking stuff. Always making people believe things they wanted to hear from her whilst she probably meant none of it.

My own phone went off so I found it to be a great opportunity to excuse myself. Although, when I looked down at the screen, I saw that it was an incoming call from Renleigh. I furrowed my eyebrows as I looked back and saw her pretending to type something. I wondered if she just wanted me out of the room with that trick or if it was meant to be a sign to get her out of there, too.

I sat down on the couch and placed my mug on the table so I was able to type with both hands.

Me: I'm confused

Me: why did you call me

Renleigh Kensington: you're welcome

Me: ...

Me: who is she and why is she here

Me: do I know her cos I swear I heard that name before hehe

Me: also my brew = perfection

Me: thank you baby

Me:

Me: should I lie and say this was on accident

Me: whatever you know it wasn't just wanted to see how I looked hehe

I stopped spamming her with texts when she didn't reply because I knew she would beat my ass as soon as we were alone again. When I heard them say their goodbyes, I quickly picked my phone up and pressed it to my ear as I pretended to have a conversation with someone. Allie popped her head in and I waved and smiled then dropped the act as soon as she was gone.

"What can you mix into tea that's not vile?" Ren shouted. "Wine would make it vile. Vodka? Vodka is good, right? I'll try it," she said quieter as she realised, I went back to the kitchen. "Do you want some in yours?"

"No, what the fuck," I laughed as I watched her look through her cabinet. There was quite the selection. "You shouldn't drink either because you need to take me home."

"Oh, for fuck's sake," she groaned. "How else am I supposed to deal with what just happened, then?"

"Talk to me."

"Talk to me," she mocked me and I couldn't help but laugh at the poor attempt. "You always want to talk."

"Quit being a pain in my arse and just tell me what happened," I said. "Why did you make me leave the room?"

"Ugh!" she hid her face in her hands as I sipped on my tea. She was so dramatic sometimes. "Basically, she asked me for money. Again."

"Again?"

"Yes," she replied. "This isn't the first time. And I told you that my family loves ripping me off because they think I'm an easy target. They see me as a little girl who will do as everyone pleases around her."

"Well, you're not though," I said. "A little girl, I mean. A people pleaser? Perhaps."

"Far from it."

"Please," I scoffed. "I'm not going to argue with you so let's agree to disagree."

"Whatever. Doesn't change the fact that she wants money from me."

"How much?"

"A whole holiday's worth. A little over a grand. She wants me to pay for it, basically."

"Wait, who is she to you?"

She laughed as she looked at me. Then glanced down at her mug and let out a sigh. "The woman who gave birth to me."

"Are you for real?" I asked in complete shock. I expected her to be an aunt or like a godmother or something but definitely not her birth mother.

"Yes. She's been a great friend of my parents' and so she was the one to give birth to me and my brother," she told me. That shocked me even more. "She also has a son of her own, Jamie. He literally hates me and I have no fucking clue why. I mean, he's alright with B and then he just despises me."

"So, technically, you have a half-brother," I said out loud. Renleigh hummed. "Wow."

"I know. And I also know it's not very common, or at least I don't think it is, to keep in touch with the person who gave birth to you if you're not meant to, or to know them at all, but she's always been really close to my dads so I guess it was only right if I knew about her. Brandon does, too."

"That's crazy. I- I- I don't know. Should I be happy for you about it? That you know her... 'cos you're kind of making me feel mixed about it."

"I mean it's nice that she wanted to know us after she gave birth to us and it's nice that my dads let her. I just don't think it's right that she only ever finds me when she wants money, you know?" she sighed as she explained.

"Yeah, that's pretty shitty," I agreed. "Is she not doing good financially or something?"

"She's got a job and so does her husband. And Jamie does, too. So, he could help her out. I just- I don't know. I feel like she thinks I owe her something for carrying me for nine months and giving birth to me."

"If that's the case then that's pretty fucking shitty of her," I snickered. "I mean why would you hold something like that over someone else? That's so fucked up."

"She probably thinks because I have money, I have tenners laying around and I wipe my arse with twenties. I don't know. It bothers me that she constantly asks me for it and I always give her some," she admitted and I pressed my lips together in a thin line as I felt at loss for words. "Whatever. I have no food so don't expect me to whip you up a full English."

"I wasn't," I smirked and she flipped me off. "I'll buy us breakfast before you drop me off at home."

"You wanna go to a restaurant in sweats?" she looked at me like I was crazy.

"No, you silly sausage," I rolled my eyes. "We'll go Spoons or something. No one's arsed there, right? Cool. Let's roll."

And we did. We both got a large breakfast with coke – diet, after Renleigh bullied me into ordering it – and then we were back on our way to mine.

"This is all your fault," I mumbled.

"How the fuck is it my fault?"

"You are the one bloody driving the car!" I exclaimed.

"Okay and?" she groaned. I laughed in disbelief. "It's not my problem that the cars in front of us crashed, is it?"

"No but it was you who turned down on the wrong road!" I bickered.

"Well, I'm sorry that I didn't want to get a fine, alright! I was also trying to avoid the traffic."

"Well, how is that one working out for you, eh?" I asked strongly. She was so stubborn, she wanted everything to go the way she decided on and if it didn't work out, everyone else was to blame.

"Fuck you, Styles!"

"Bet you would love to."

"I will smack you if you won't shut your gob."

"So we're gonna talk about our kinks?"

"You are so. fucking. annoying," she said as she looked over at me and punched me in my shoulder with each word. We had been sitting in the car for like... ten minutes. Renleigh even turned off the car because we were not going to move any time soon. "Cannot believe I'm stuck in traffic with you out of all people in the world."

"Yeah, well, I'm not exactly feeling lucky, either."

"You should," she scoffed. "It's not every day you get to be stuck in traffic in a Lambo with the Renleigh Kensington."

"Thank fuck," I smirked and she hissed in surprise which made me laugh.

"And I'm the rude one..."

"Well, yeah," I nodded. "You are cruel."

"My brother calls me that."

"He did call you that at your dad's birthday," I commented.

"Hmm... you also said something then," she said mysteriously.

"Have I?" she hummed. "What exactly?"

"Something about making someone happy or something."

"Oh, interesting," I replied. I knew what she was onto and it made me smile smugly. She thought she was slick but she really wasn't. She just wanted to hear me say it again because she needed constant reassurance.

"Hmm..."

"I'm kidding – I know what you mean. And I meant it. I want to make you happy."

"That's so cute," she gushed and I chuckled at her soft tone. "You know... nevermind."

"No, say it," I encouraged her. "You always start something and never finish it."

"Yes because it's embarrassing."

"Go on."

"I'm scared."

"Of?"

"I don't know."

I scoffed and she sighed loudly. I didn't understand her. She had no problem with expressing what she wanted to do in the bedroom meaning she was not shy at all. However, when it came to speaking of her feelings, she acted like she wasn't supposed to be saying anything about it.

"Fuck..." she mumbled. "It makes me feel good, alright? I feel like- like someone cares for me."

"You did know that already though because I told you a few times," I replied.

"But it just doesn't seem to want to sit well with me, like- I just don't understand it and I'm just waiting for when you'll have enough and it's stressing me out. And I know this is annoying and I am being annoying but I can't help it. And I hate that I need constant reassurance and I don't like asking for it or for attention but I just- fuck, I'm going off on a tangent, I need to be put down or something."

"I have told you before that I don't mind listening to your rambles because they are honest and tell me more about how you feel than anything else. I would also listen to these more than your rehearsed sentences so please, don't worry about it, okay?" I said softly as I placed my hand on her thigh. Her head turned a bit as her eyes followed the movement and I watched her inhale deeply then slowly exhale. "Ren... I might not be able to understand why you are feeling this way because I have never felt whatever you are. But I want to help you be better. For that to happen, though, you've- you have got to let me in and- and help me see."

"You know everything about me, Harry," she said angrily. It was more so at herself than at me. It sounded like a battle that she was dealing with inside of her. "You know about Wolf, you know about Jack, you know about my relationship with my dads, you know them... you know my brother. You know I'm a workaholic... what else is there to see?"

"Yes, I do know those things about you and sure, they- the things that happened to you and the relationships you have had formed you into who you are. But that doesn't mean you can't change who you will become-,"

"That's so cheesy."

"Fuck, I know," I chuckled and I saw a small grin on her lips as she kept her eyes on my hand. "But it's true, right? Like, you don't have to stay who you are if you are not happy with it. You can always be a better version of yourself. But that happens overtime. You need to understand that, yeah?"

"Ugh, see? This is why I hate emotional talks."

"They are important, though," I said. "And let's not brush past this, okay? Let's just focus on the fact that you cannot change who you are overnight. You obviously struggle with opening up about your feelings and that's not something that you will be able to do in a snap of a finger."

"Thanos," she smirked and I snorted at the random comment. We did talk a lot about Marvel movies during the time we spent together, we threw theories around when we couldn't fall asleep at night or when we were eating and had noting better to chat about.

"Silly," I squeezed her thigh a bit as I leaned back in my seat and looked at her with a smile on my face. She was my baby. I loved her silly face so much. Even if she was a pain in my arse and a ton of work. I loved her with all of her baggage and dry humour. "Fuck, I lost my train of thought."

"Good."

"Rude."

"Say it again, I'm so close," she moaned and I couldn't help but laugh. I said this a million and one times already, but she truly was a piece of work. My life definitely would not have been the same without her.

• • • 

a.n.

i loved this chapter so much like the way harry described things and stuff just really came out good i think so i hope you enjoyed it too!

also a lot of you always ask about the end of the story like how much more is left of it and honestly, i have no bloody clue. i have so much i want to write so i'm just doing that and i guess we will all feel when this story is coming to an end. there was always a thought in my mind that i would write a second book for ffc but i'm not entirely too sure i would be able to do it or if anyone would be interested. plus i really wanna get started on my boxer harry fic so idk we will see i guess! 

as always, don't forget to vote n comment n i'll see u on sunday <3