Harry Styles

Cooking was a nice idea but it never actually happened. Not that it was a problem. It was far from being a problem. I actually preferred the activities that took place instead of making food and I wasn't on my own.

It seemed silly, really. The way we worked. We fought and said nasty things to each other then found our way back to the other like nothing happened. I knew Kensington was used to leaving things in the past, untouched and never talked about. Sometimes, I wished I was more like her and other times, I wished she was more like me. I wanted to be able to leave things in the past and not bring them up after so long and that was something that she was amazing at. On the other hand, she was terrible at talking things through and coming up with a solution. She much more preferred forgetting them and never having to deal with them.

"Oh, god, are you thinking about how to get rid of me?" she spoke up suddenly. Or maybe I was a bit too out of it. Which was probably true. We were in my bed with a massive gap between us and that made me chuckle. She was all over me just three minutes ago and now she laid so far away from me that my dog could have comfortably slept in bed with us.

"Nah, I have that sorted already," I responded as I slowly turned my head to look at her. She chuckled as she kept her gaze on the ceiling with her hands on her stomach, fingers intertwined.

"Impressive."

"Cheers."

Kensington turned her head towards me before she leaned on her side. I watched as she grasped the blanket to cover herself whilst she pushed herself up a little and turned on her stomach. This time around, she was much closer to me. Her hair fell on my chest and our arms touched. I lost myself in her hazel eyes, the way her nose sat in the middle of her face and her cheekbones stood out. I pulled my left arm away from her and placed my hand on her cheek, the skin warm and soft under my touch.

She let me hold her face and she closed her eyes as she leaned into my hold, my thumb stroked her cheek softly. I was taken by surprise when she turned her head and pressed a kiss on my palm. Her cute little chuckle rang in my ears as she slipped on top of me under the covers and I couldn't help but grin as she pushed her lips on mine. I felt her fingers run through my hair before she grasped it in her hands and I ran my hands down her side, all the way to her perfect little arse.

"You're perfect," I mumbled between kisses. Renleigh scoffed but didn't say anything. I knew she didn't agree with me, she never did when I said anything relatively positive about her. But I was going to make sure she got tired of hearing me say nice things about her. She needed to know just how amazing she was.

In every way.

Although, our relationship was not really normal. We just.... Well, I knew she came to me for the sex. It was clear. She needed an outlet to get rid of her anger and frustration, perhaps pain? And I came in handy. Now, that would have made me feel like she used me if I wouldn't have known about her reasons for being with me and also if I wouldn't have had the same intentions. We basically used one another for our bodies but it still managed to help us rebuild whatever we had before the contract was over.

There were nice days throughout the month that we spent together and I cherished those with everything I had in me. Those were possibly the best days of my life and that made me think if she really was the one for me. No one has ever made me feel the way she does and although she didn't seem to reciprocate my feelings to the point where I was at, I knew she cared enough to not hurt me.

I, for one, wasn't planning on hurting her the way I have in the past. Because I know I did. The time in her office when I kissed her. The time at my cousin's birthday. But especially at her dad's birthday party. When I said those things to her about Jack. That was way out of line and I hated myself for being so fucking insensitive. Especially because it all happened on the same day. It made me feel like pure shit when I thought about it – and it happened a lot – but I knew I deserved it. I should have felt shit. It was wrong of me to throw it back in her face like that, to even think it was OK to say something like that. I didn't know how that could trigger her and the fact that I fucked her and then left and didn't see her for absolute ages, just made me an even shittier human being.

I couldn't believe I was lucky enough to have her there with me, on top of me, looking so beautiful and being so amazing.

"I have no idea how I have such good stamina," she sighed after round number... who fuck the knows. We literally had been going at it since she came over. We didn't leave the bed for hours now and honestly, I couldn't complain.

"For someone who doesn't work out, that is a great question."

"Fuck you," she laughed.

"Ah, see, you've already done that... about five times? In the last hour."

"Are you trying to shame me?" she squinted her eyes at me.

"I would never do such thing," I said honestly. "You know, I actually think it's pretty great... what we're doing, I mean."

She laughed at me and didn't say anything. What I said, was true, though. I really did enjoy it. And not because I was getting my dick wet but because it was with her. She was so special to me and the fact that I got to be her fuck buddy was actually pretty sick. I would have taken her over anyone any day.

"You know what would be pretty great?" she asked me. I hummed and moved my head a little to tell her to continue. "If we would go down and you would cook for me."

"Cook for you?" I smirked. "That's a new one."

"Well, you did bribe me over with that idea."

"That's true," I agreed. "And I was going to cook for you but then someone pretty much attacked me with their lips and kisses and we ended up on my couch, butt-naked."

"Poor you," she said. "I can't imagine how horrible that must have been for you."

"I think I am traumatised for the rest of my life."

"Aw, shit," she laughed and I smiled at the sound of it. She looked so comfortable around me and okay with what we were doing. I didn't think I'd ever seen her so... fine with me in the room. In my presence. I wondered if it was because she didn't feel pressured by the contract that was always over us.

I stayed in bed whilst she used my bathroom. I placed my hands behind my head as I laid there with a silly fucking grin on my face. It didn't seem to want to disappear and I had no problem with it staying on. I felt happy. Then again, I always felt happy when I was with her.

I loved her.

Of course, I felt happy around her.

She made me feel things that were so nice and calming and it was everything I have ever dreamt of. Silly, I know. But true. So true. Like, the way I felt was described in songs that were about love and I once despised. The way I felt was described in poems, in books. The way I felt was portrayed in movies. Everything that I had been fed with over the years was in me. It developed and she was the cause of it. She developed these feelings inside me.

I felt like a fucking butterfly. One that went from being an ugly caterpillar to a damn gorgeous butterfly.

"You look creepy," Kensington commented as soon as she strolled out of my bathroom. She wore my shirt and one of my joggers. The clothes looked big on her but she made it seem comfortable. I wanted to pull her in bed and cuddle her to my chest like a teddy bear.

"Come again?"

"Again?" she huffed. "I doubt I have any more orgasms left in me."

"God, I hate you so much," I laughed as she made the inappropriate joke. She always seemed to lighten the conversation that way. A dirty joke and everything was fine.

"Oh, baby, that's right. You're such a good girl. Oh, I love those lips of yours more than you'll ever know. Ah, just a little more b-bhaby-,"

"Shut the fuck up!" I threw a pillow at her as she moaned and whimpered as she took the piss out of me. The action caused her to crack up and laugh out loudly. "Fuck me. You are so annoying."

"I have been telling you!" she said as a matter of fact. "Goddamn, it took you long enough to get it through your thick skull, huh?"

"Is this how you get every time?" I questioned as I pulled my boxers up my leg and let the band of it slap against my hips. She raised her eyebrow at me in confusion and I smirked. "Is this how you get every time someone fucks you into your place?"

"Ah-hahahaha," she laughed at me and placed her hand on my chest. Her nails trailed over the tattoo on my chest before took the chain around my neck in her hand. "You think you fucked me into my place then?"

"Baby," I grabbed her waist and pulled her closer. "You and I both know I did."

"Hm, you see... you shouldn't talk for others when you have no idea what they are thinking and feeling," she responded as her arms went around my neck. She leaned in closer and I thought she would kiss me. But she played dirtier than that.

"Why can't you ever let me win?" I pouted which caused her to giggle. That made me smile almost instantly. "Let me have the thought of making you feel the best you have ever felt."

"Is that because your ego needs boosting or is it because you want me to believe that's true?"

"Well, my ego is doing fine," I said. "Then again, you do enjoy shooting me down every chance you get so it is a little bruised."

"That's to keep you on your toes, as you know," she reminded me and I hummed in agreement.

"As for the second part of your question... I think your reaction to me, your body's reaction to me, is enough of a proof for me to know you believe it just as much as I want you to believe it."

"Whatever," she sighed as she gave up. "Make me some salmon."

"I don't even have salmon," I laughed. "That's your favourite, right?"

"Amongst many other things, yes."

"Many other things?" I questioned curiously.

"You?" she asked back with a smirk and I leaned my head back as a laugh erupted from my chest.

"I'm your favourite?" I grinned.

"That's not what I mea-,"

"Aw!" I laughed. "I'm your favourite!"

"That is not what I bloody meant!" she bickered as she got flustered and tried to escape from my arms. I couldn't keep my laughter down as I kept her close and hugged her to me. I tucked my face in her neck and kept chuckling as she tried to fight me off. "You are so self-centred!"

"I really am your favourite, oh my god. That is such a relief."

"Why?" she asked as she mocked me. "So you finally have an edge over me? So you can piss me off?"

"Well, not necessarily," I said as I pulled back. "But now that you've said that, I'm going to benefit from it for sure."

"Wow, I love this for me," she huffed.

"No, but like. The fact that I'm your favourite is amazing because guess what?"

"What?" she asked with no enthusiasm whatsoever behind her voice but I knew she was just being a dick on purpose.

"You are my favourite, too."

I grinned at her and she rolled her eyes. I watched her fight back a smile and it soon enough broke free. I guess she needed my magic kiss as a bit of encouragement but we eventually got there. She smiled against my lips and I was just so fucking happy.

"OK. Enough of the sappy shit, you are making me sick," she pushed me away from her as she grimaced and I let her. I loved her.

I love you. "Alright. Let's go make some food."

"No, you need to shower," she told me. "You stink."

"Of you."

"Sure, blame it on me."

"Well, my dick did go in your pus-,"

"Just shut your mouth and get in the shower," she sighed before she walked out of the room and left me on my own.

I couldn't wipe the grin off of my face. It stuck there permanently. Not that it was a problem. Please. It was the best thing that ever happened to my face. Then again, my cheeks began to ache a little bit from all the smiling but I would rather take that pain than what I had to go through when I was a proper arsehole to Kensington.

Hurting her was like hurting myself. It was the kind of pain I couldn't bear and didn't want to bear.

As I made my way downstairs, I found my heart rate picking up in my chest. I was about to see her and it felt like the first time I realised I was in love with her. It was so good. It was the good nervousness. I liked it.

"Why don't you have Nutella anywhere?" she questioned me once she realised, she was no longer alone. I chuckled as I walked over to her and opened up one of the cabinets – she actually stood right in front of it – and pulled out the tub of spread she looked for. "Pft, that wasn't there before."

"Or maybe you're just blind," I joked.

"Hm, I was thinking..."

"That's never good," she gave me a death stare as I chuckled and walked around the kitchen island. I decided to sit on one of the chairs so I could face her. "Go on. Tell me, baby."

"Well... I just want to talk about what happened. With... well, us."

"Wait, for real?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yeah," she sighed. "I feel like we're good now. Like, yeah, the things you said hurt me and I'm sure I dropped some pretty nasty shit on you so I feel like we need to... um... I don't know. Go over everything that happened with us? Just so we're seeing things the same way... same page or whatever."

"Alright. Talk to me then."

"Um... I don't know where to start," she let out a sigh as she found a spoon and walked over to my side. She sat down on the chair, one between us, then faced to the front. "Like. I don't want to bring up what happened because I'm over it. The parts where we argued. I don't care it happened. That doesn't define us, does it? I don't think so."

"Well, I have to tell you, I feel fucking horrible for being a dick to you. Especially 'cuz it was over something that you confided in me about. So, I want to apologise for that. You didn't deserve me saying all those rude things to you about Jack. It was so fresh... I mean, you opened up to me about him not that long ago and then he was at the party and he had his hands on you – which still greatly angers me – and then I just acted like a right cunt," I explained myself as she quietly ate the Nutella. Straight from the tub with the spoon.

"Yeah. That was pretty shitty of you. I regretted telling you about him. For the rest of the day," she told me. "I really wanted to find something... anything, to hurt you. Verbally, I mean. I wanted to get back at you. But then you just came and fucked me and you left and I didn't see you for ages," I listened to her as she spoke off of the top of her head. It was nice. All of this was nice. "Then the next thing I knew, you were on the front of these tabloids, drunk and with all these strangers – women – and I just... I don't know. I felt weird."

"Why?"

"I don't know... I just did," she shrugged. "Like, you blurted out you felt the L word for me then you fucked off, didn't hear from you for a while and then when I next saw your face it was on a magazine. Talking about how you were getting pissed and having sex with all these women," she rambled.

"Did you ever think it might not have been real?"

"No," she admitted. "You have this image out there, this man who just gets with everyone. It didn't occur to me that it could be a rumour."

"Hm."

"Would you have thought it was not true if I had been the one on the cover of the magazines?"

That was a good question. I wanted to say no but something stopped me.

"From my point of view, it made sense," she started to speak again. Her focus was still on the Nutella in front of her as I watched her side profile. "I wanted to despise you and it just worked in my favour."

"Were you jealous?" I questioned. "Is that why you wanted to hate me or because I left you after we had sex?"

"Both, I guess," her answer surprised me. She was being really honest with me and it was so refreshing. Not that she ever lied to me. I meant it in general. She was so open. I loved it. I loved her. "It was weird actually. Like, we had sex and that was the first time we did it. But it was not like... slow sex. It was rough and- well, my, um- well. When I, umm, usually hook-up with people, it's like that. Mindless sex. And so, I tried to rule that time under that category but it just didn't want to fit. Like when you're putting a puzzle together and you find a piece that looks like could fill the gap and then you try it and it's just not right. That was how us having sex felt."

"Interesting," I hummed. "No one ever described having sex with me like that."

"Do you usually ask people to describe how they found getting fucked by you?" she snorted and I rolled my eyes.

"No," I replied.

"Good. I'm never doing it again."

"You'll never have to," I smiled. "So, how about the other times? The random hook-ups? With me, I mean..."

"They were different, too. Different to our first time and different to my past experiences."

"Ah," I nodded. "How do you feel about me, then? Am I still as bothersome as I was when we first met?"

"Yeah," she smirked as she glanced at me. "Maybe even more now."

"Rude!" I called and she chuckled.

"What about you, though?" she questioned. "If those newspapers lied, where were you? Where did you go from my parents' house? And why did you even leave so suddenly?"

"Well... you did tell me I couldn't sleep in your room and I found it to be a bit weird to spend my night on the couch. I was also just annoyed and confused with everything that happened with us. I needed to clear my head," I explained. "Do you remember the time I told you about the villa my family owns?"

"The one in Spain?"

"Yeah," Kensington hummed. "Yeah, well, I went there. I was able to be with my thoughts, alone, away from work, away from you, away from London," I said whilst I twisted my ring around my index finger. "I needed to understand what happened and also just chill out for a bit. I've been so occupied with work and seeing you and trying to fit my siblings and friends into my schedule that I just wanted some peace and quiet."

"Makes sense."

"I didn't want to leave you, you know."

"Why did you?" she asked and I sensed her turn around and look at me. Her eyes burned the side of my head as I stared down at my hands.

"I didn't think you wanted to see me after what happened. I didn't think us having sex solved our problems. It just helped us let go of our frustration," I said. "I didn't want to fight with you more and put you in an even worse mood when you were home. You are never home and I know your family means a lot to you, no matter what you say about them. Your parents and brother. I wanted you to have at least one day with them, without us fighting over something."

"Yeah, I don't think I would have wanted to see you after what happened. I felt a bit bad but more annoyed and... and like a fool, I guess," she said honestly. "You are the only one to know the things you know about me. The thing you said about Jack being the only one to ever be able to leave me speechless did my head in. For one, it is true. And for two, it just- like I said, made me feel like a damn fool. You had no problem spitting it back out so it just made me wonder if you'll do that to my other secrets when we're done with each other. Which I thought would happen sooner rather than later because the contract was about to end anyway and I doubted we'd ever go anywhere near each other."

"God, I'm such a twat."

"You are," she agreed. It made me chuckle. I wouldn't have expected anything less from her. "But so am I."

"Which means we can put all the other twats to shame because we are the biggest pair of twats. Our power is unreachable."

"OK, I'm not as bad as you are."

"True," I said. "You are worse."

"Oh my god! Fuck you!"

"Bloody hell, again?" I asked in a dramatic voice. 

"You are not funny."

"True, I'm hilarious."

"Nah, you're in need of a slap or something to put you in your place," she scoffed.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"I mean, sure."

"Do I remind you of your ex in any way?" I knew it was a stupid question and I shouldn't have even thought of it. But since we were being honest and all, I felt like I needed to throw it out there. If anything, for my own peace of my mind.

"Well... do you want me to say yes or no?"

"I'm not sure," I answered. "If it's bad things that you found in common then not really. But also, yes because then I can improve on those."

"Hm. Well. You are both charming. Like, you are both good with women, I think. In a sense that you can get anyone you want," she said. "You both like attention, whether that's bad or good, it doesn't matter. Although, it is surely different. You are much older than he was when I was with him and your situation is obviously different as well. Therefore, the attention you get is, once again, different. So, I guess the bad attention that you get is not the same that he used to get when we were together. I don't know if he gets any now and I'm not even that bothered, to be honest."

"What kind of bad attention did he use to get?"

"He was good at handling his alcohol so he always had to drink double the amount anyone else did to get pissed. He wouldn't do it all the time but when he would, he would black out and do horrible stuff. Just be mean to people for absolutely no reason. At the time, that was so bad. Like, people would bitch about him so much and it reflected on all of us. But then he would go out again and buy everyone drinks and throw parties and stuff and it would just make everyone like him again. So, I guess it never really stuck on him. Not that it mattered to him because he was the topic of everyone's conversations and that was like an achievement for him."

"He sounds like such a fucking arsehole every time you talk to me about him."

"Yeah, he was. Or he is. I'm not sure. I blocked him on everything when I found out he cheated on me."

"Can I look at his Instagram or something?"

"Why?" she laughed at me.

"Why not?" I shrugged.

"OK but only if he can stalk your ex, too."

"Alright, sound," I nodded as I unlocked my phone and went on Instagram. "I look at yours and you look at mine."

"But we can't like or comment on their posts or I'll... um... I'll buy you out," she threatened and I laughed. Of course, she would say that.

"Alright, fair enough," I agreed. "But, you are not buying me out. We are not even in a partnership for you to be able to buy me out."

"I would find a way," she mumbled and I couldn't doubt her. I knew she would be able to find a way. And so, I just shook my head a little and searched up my ex-girlfriend so the woman I was currently in love with could look through her account.

How fucking weird.

• • •

a.n.

this conversation took 58 chapters but they got here and now hopefully it'll all be cool and chill and lovely for a bit

jokes uno one of them will flip hehehehehe

be sure to comment n vote pls i thrive off of feedback xoxo

PS -- STREAM ONLY ANGEL ON SPOTIFY OR I WON'T UPDATE ANYMORE I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE HAS THE LEAST AMOUNT OF STREAMS THIS HAS TO BE CHANGED thanks