Renleigh Kensington

The party ahead of me was one that I greatly dreaded.

People often say, time helps. Time heals. Well, that's a fat load of bullshit. With each year going by, it all just becomes tougher and more unbearable. It is like the world – the time, more specifically – is working against me and it is trying to push me past my limits. That is not something I am not familiar with; I push my own limits on a daily basis. So, when outer forces pile some more pressure on me, it all becomes too much.

I can handle a lot, but sometimes even I realise I need to tone it down a bit.

But back to the party. The one I am forced to attend every year as if I don't show my face, I get bitched about. It doesn't seem to bother anyone, they all think it's friendly banter, but the eyes they give me and the tricky tone they use, gives it all away.

Or maybe I think too much into it.

I am an overthinker, after all.

My dads' suits arrived with them. When they came home, they already had the bags with them that hid their outfits. It was going to be a somewhat fancy party, so formal outfits were required. And me being the 'fashion person' I was to my parents, I was in charge of making sure they looked acceptable.

Styles had to make a phone call which I didn't mind. It gave me the space to mind my own business whilst I straightened my hair in my bedroom. Since it was a dress-up party, it obviously meant having to paint a face on and I was not the most talented in that area. I fucked up my makeup at least twice if not three times, before I managed to make myself look presentable.

I needed all the extra time I could get.

My choice of colour for the night was nude mixed with a bit of dusty pink. It was a tube dress, went under my knees and didn't have straps. I brought a trench coat for it, too, which was the pink addition to my fit. Paired with high heels and a bag that had a chain handle.

"Hey," I turned around in my room to find Styles in the doorway, dressed in black from head to toe. He had jeans on and they showed off his thighs rather well. Many thoughts of making use of them ran through my mind which caused me to smirk as my eyes gradually swam up his body to meet his green ones. "Wow. You look... stunning."

"Thanks," I nodded. "What is it that you need?"

"You," he blurted. I chuckled under my breath at the shock on his face and he shyly looked away as he cleared his throat. "Everyone's ready."

"Right," I sighed as I put my coat on. "Hold on. Come, take a photo of me."

"Now?"

"No, tomorrow," I rolled my eyes. "Now."

I posed for the photo and I noticed he had taken more than one. I only really needed it for my Instagram and since he was around, thought he could be of use. Once he was done, he walked over to me and passed me my phone so I placed it in my bag.

"You not gonna look at them?" he questioned as he stood right in front of me. His cologne stuffed my nose up, it was literally the only scent I could smell and it made my head spin.

He was so fucking hot, dammit.

"I'll just end up hating them," I replied.

"You shouldn't. You look amazing, Ren. Truly."

"Look at you, trying to gain brownie points," I smirked up at him. His black shirt was left open and revealed a bit of the birds on his chest, along with his necklace. Then again, I stood pretty close to him which was why I saw the tattoos.

"Shut up," he grinned and leaned closer to me. "Can I get a kiss?"

"I have lipgloss on."

"OK?" he asked with his eyebrows raised. "Is that a yes?"

"Um..."

"Do you seriously think I'm arsed about your lipstick?" he laughed. "In case you forgot, I have kissed you with lipstick on before."

"OK but that was matt. Which means it doesn't transfer onto your lips. I have lipgloss on."

"Which means?" he asked me, still confused. I might have made a big deal out of it, but it was only because it sometimes pissed Wolf off. And sure, him and Styles are not the same, but they were both male. They have problems with everything, don't they?

"It'll be on your lips?"

"As if I actually give a fuck," he rolled his eyes as he placed his finger under my chin to tilt my head up then pressed his lips on mine. They felt warm and soft as he placed a chaste kiss on my mouth. When he pulled back, he looked right into my eyes as he rolled his lips together and spread the lipgloss over them. "How do I look?"

I laughed at him as he asked me the question, my hand on his chest, closer to his shoulder as I leaned closer to him and gave him another kiss. He grinned down at me as he pulled my coat further up on my shoulders since my arms were not through the holes. I caught him roll his lips together again and I smiled.

"Do you want some?" I questioned as I opened my bag and pulled the lipgloss out. He watched me as I unscrewed the tube and leaned the wand towards him.

"Are you sure?"

"What do you mean, am I sure?" I chuckled. "It's your decision."

"Wouldn't it be weird?" he asked. He sounded a bit unsure which was strange coming from him, after being so confident. He switched between moods so quick, it was a task and a half to keep up sometimes.

"I don't see how," I shrugged.

"Go on then," he gave in with a sheepish smile on his lips. He parted them as I leaned closer and put the brush on his lips. I felt him watch me as I applied it on him, a thin layer on his bottom one then another thin layer on this top one. He rolled his lips together again.

"Put your index finger in your mouth and then pull it out gently," I told him.

"Why?"

"So your lips won't stick together."

"Oh," he sighed and did what I said. "This feels so weird," he laughed.

"You look good," I smiled at him which seemed to make him feel a lot better.

After we had left my room, I was greeted by my parents, brother, Jane and aunt Sophie. Everyone else was supposed to meet us at the venue. Since my dad was the star of the night, we had to go there earlier but I didn't mind that.

We ordered an uber which worked perfectly for the seven of us. Aunt Sophie got to sit next to the uber driver as my parents, brother, his girlfriend or whatever she was and Styles and I shared the back. It turned out, that not only I was travel sick if I travelled backwards, but so was Styles.

"Oh, fuck. I forgot I'm meeting a lot of your family today," Styles said as we got out and waited for my dad. He was on the phone to someone, probably to let them know we arrived. It was fucking cold and I was barely dressed. The roads were cleared of the snow but that didn't mean there weren't more falling from the sky.

"Yeah," I mumbled as I shivered. I was usually alright with the cold, but it had to have been at least minus fifty-five thousand Celsius degrees and my nipples felt it all. "Bloody hell, it's fucking freezing. When can we go in?"

"Language, young lady," my dad scolded me and I rolled my eyes.

"I'm almost thirty, dad," I reminded him which actually terrified me. I had three more years until the big three-zero. "Plus, you didn't answer my question."

He just shrugged and walked over to my dad. I caught my brother sneakily taking a drag of his e-cig and I shook my head at him when he saw that I saw him. He quickly slipped it back in his inside pocket and placed his arms around Jane.

Our parents had no idea he smoked and he wanted to keep it that way. I wasn't a fan of him doing it but I also wasn't a bitch so I never grassed on him. It was actually perfect for when I had to blackmail him.

"You're really almost thirty, fuck," Styles said out loud and I snorted. His cheeks were red from the cold but I knew he flushed even more when I glanced at him. "It's not a problem, I just-,"

"Shut up," I laughed and he chuckled. "I don't look it, though, do I?"

"Are you crazy?" he snickered. "You don't look older than twenty."

"Another brownie point for you, I suppose," I mumbled with a smirk. Not that he needed them. I mean, I did suck his dick this morning and he had zero brownie points. At least, we didn't count them.

I wasn't sure what came over me that morning. It just felt right to do what I did. And kind of something I was used to when I was with my ex. He sort of expected me to wake him up with his dick in my mouth sometimes and to keep him happy, I did just that. I loved him, of course, I wanted to keep him happy.

"Frowning again, huh?" I heard Styles comment and I let out a sigh. "You know what I tell you every time..."

"I'll fuck up my foundation," I replied.

"Yep," he nodded. "Talk to me instead of keeping it in."

"You should take your own advice," I fired back. I was still kind of pissed about what he told me after breakfast. Like, sure. I was not exactly the best at showing I cared but that was just to make sure I wasn't the one who ended up hurt.

That happened way too many times and I was fed up of it happening.

Soon enough, we were let inside the venue and I was never happier to feel the warmth of the room as I was in that moment. The inside was nicely decorated and fitting for my dad's birthday. 'Oscar' was written on some banners and the theme was mainly silver and white. It was really laid back and... my dad-like. It really did reflect his taste. Simple but up there.

"Renny!" as soon as I heard the high-pitched voice, I turned around as fast I could in heels. My heart swelled at the sight of my baby cousin, dressed in designer clothes, looking handsome as always. He was the youngest of my cousins, only four years old.

"Little one!" he slowed down a bit so I was able to pick him up and hug him to me properly. He giggled in my neck as he had his arms wrapped around it and I couldn't help the grin that spread across my face. "God, I've missed you so, so much."

"Missed you!"

"See he's got your attention already," my uncle Matt spoke as he got closer to us, his wife behind as she talked to my dad.

"Yeah," I smiled. "I haven't seen him or you for ages. How have you been?"

"Eh. We've been alright," he said. "What about you, Miss CEO?"

"Oh, be quiet," I laughed at him. "I've been fine, you know, usual."

"Not quite sure what a usual day of a CEO is, but I'm glad to hear that," he chuckled. He then looked at the man who stood next to me and smiled at him. "Matt."

"Harry," he replied and they shook hands.

"Haven't heard much about you before," my uncle commented. It was aimed at me which made me roll my eyes. First one to butt his nose in my business. And he was a subtle one.

"Yeah, um, Ken-Renleigh isn't the best at informing people about things... and others, I guess," he laughed. I rolled my eyes but smirked when he slipped up and was about to call me by my surname. For some reason, I preferred him addressing me that way. When he used my first name, it felt foreign and much more... personal. I liked Kensington.

"I don't overshare," I shrugged and placed my cousin down. "Now, I guess I'm going to have to introduce him to everyone else, so see you later."

I grabbed Styles' hand and pulled him away from my uncle. Having him around family was weird.

"So..." Styles turned towards me once we stopped, away from people. That kind of contradicted why I pulled us away from my uncle but the space was needed. "Who was that? With the baby?"

"My uncle."

"Right..."

"I'm proper shit at introducing people to each other. Wolf had to do all the talking when I- nevermind," I shut myself up when I began to ramble on about my ex. He wasn't my favourite person, yet he seemed to enter every conversation I have ever had with Styles.

"It's fine," he smiled at me but it didn't reach his eyes. It looked forced and flat, his lips pressed to each other and then quickly went back to normal. "I'm not sure how to ask you this but... is the man who had been harassing you... is he-?"

"Coming? Yes," I sighed heavily. "I'm planning on staying away from him and his nasty friends. I don't even want to look at them."

"I understand," he nodded. "I can't promise I will be able to hold myself back if he-,"

I didn't let him finish. Or maybe I just didn't hear him.

My eyes travelled over the guests inside the venue already and I felt them widen little by little when they landed on the mentioned people. As per usual, they came with their families, big smiles on their faces, presents in their hands. From the outside, they seemed nice enough and harmless.

But they weren't.

My hand reached over to Styles', his warm one felt nice against my cold palm. I didn't take my eyes off of the man, dressed to fit the occasion with his arm around his wife's lower back. Suddenly, I realised my heart rate had picked up and my throat became dry.

The last time I was home, he gripped my arse – twice and firmly – and kept winking at me. The latter was kind of usual, he had always done that but it made me feel just as disgusted as it did the first time. The memories of it happening, the feeling of his touch on my body, made me shiver and I found it hard to swallow.

"Look at me," I felt his fingers under my chin, he used a bit of force to move my head because I kept my eyes on the man. Only if my stare could have killed people, he wouldn't have been breathing anymore. That feeling went away as soon as he got out of my line of vision and instead, a pair of green eyes stared right back into mine. "He will not touch you anymore. I won't let him."

A very un-lady-like snort was my reaction to that.

"I mean it, Renleigh. I will talk to him."

"No, you won't," I fought. "It will only make him want to do it more and- and you might make the situation worse."

"Worse?" he asked and sounded shocked. He didn't want to believe what had left my mouth but he didn't get it. "He had been violating you and getting away with it for years!"

"Wow, thanks Mr Obvious," I remarked sarcastically. "Just leave it."

"Renleigh..."

"Stop," I said. "Please. Just leave it alone."

"Because he will leave you alone?"

"I said please. I never beg you for anything."

He looked at me unsure. Like he was fighting with himself on the inside. I guess I made it harder for him as my begging eyes bored into his green ones, filled with confusion, a slight anger – more towards the situation than me – and worry. He didn't want to listen to me but he had to.

"Look, this is nothing to do with you, so leave it, OK?" I said again when he didn't speak up. "I told you about it because... because I- I trust you. I don't want something like this... someone so unimportant and- and unworthy of mentioning or dealing with to make that go away. So, promise me that you won't butt your nose into where it doesn't belong."

"You can't ask me to promise you that... not about something like this."

"Well, good thing I'm not asking, but telling you, right?" I forced a smile on my face and tilted my head a little bit before I walked past him.

This really was nothing to do with him. He wanted to deal with it but that seemed crazy to me because I didn't even know how to deal with it on my own. So, how would he have known? I had been living this nightmare for years and there was no solution in my mind for it other than staying away from this place. Coming back once or twice seemed doable and it was something I decided to stick to in order to keep myself safe.

The truth was, this was how I deal with things.

I didn't.

I let them stay the way they were left. If I didn't bother with the wounds, they stayed untouched and unopened. I liked them like that. Nothing was complicated and nothing hurt. There was nothing to think about or share with others.

• • •

a.n.

SO . THE LIPGLOSS MOMENT . CAN HE PLEASE WEAR LIPGLOSS AT THE MET GALA

I NEED HIM TO

PLEASE

I WILL NEVER EVER COMPLAIN AGAIN

ok . moving on . we're nearing the part where, and i'm quoting myself, 'shit will hit the fan' and i'm PUMPED i love when they fight and it's not petty you know hehe and also i know it's gonna suck but TRUST ME it'll be worth it ok

also i know they haven't fucked yet and that's what everyone's waiting for but it's coming no pun intended and i'm hoping yous will enjoy it 💆🏻‍♀️

ok i'm not spoiling anything else hehe

alsO SURPRISE UPDATE yay

don't forget to comment n vote xoxo

PS . ENDGAME FUCKING HURTED