Renleigh Kensington

Styles and I were the only ones back home after the dinner. My parents decided to stay out for longer and my aunt met up with some friends. She even dared to add that she might end up in a club, but she will text my dad to let him know about her whereabouts.

The dinner went surprisingly well. It didn't feel as awkward as my mind made me think it would, the conversation flew smoothly between the five of us. Styles seemed to have loosened up a little, he was less tense and seemed like he wasn't as out of it as he was before we left. During most of the night, his hand found a comfortable resting place on my thigh that was closest to him. That could have been to remind himself to stay focused or to show me he was there.

I guess it probably worked for both of us.

Even then, as I stood in the kitchen, two glasses of water in my hands, I still felt it. His touch. It burned into my skin. It felt warm, almost hot. There was no other way to describe it.

"Here," I said when I went back to the living room. We decided to just chill there since no one else was home. He sat on the sofa with his body sprawled out, his coat leaned on the back of the furniture with mine, my bag next to him as he paid attention to his phone.

"Thanks," he mumbled as he took the glass from me. I sat down next to him and kicked my heels off. I folded my legs under my bum and took a sip of my water. "So... I overheard your dad talking to you before."

"Oh... um, what did you hear?"

"Enough to know my standoffish behaviour ruined the first impression I was so desperate to make," he chuckled as he locked his phone and placed it face down on the space next to him.

"What makes you say that?"

"Your dad – Sam – clearly doesn't like me as much as your other dad does. He is... and I don't mean to offend him, but he is very, um, like you were the first few times we talked," he explained which made me curious. "He is very cold, I feel like. Hard to make his walls come down, you know."

"I guess that's what makes him a good lawyer," I said. Styles hummed whilst he put the glass on his stomach. I watched him from an upper angle, since he basically laid down on the couch, and the length of his eyelashes caught my attention again. Every time he blinked, I was ready for him to give in and just look up at me but it didn't happen. "So... before... you were kind of off."

"You could say that," he sighed. "I don't know what it was... m'sorry for being like that."

"No, it's- it's fine. I was just confused. So were my parents," I ran my finger along the mouth of the glass, again and again until I decided to glance at him. His eyes were already on my face. "You know, when you were in the shower, I was thinking..."

"Let's hear it," he encouraged me. "Only if you want to share it, of course."

"Hmmm... maybe I want to keep it going."

"Keep what going?" he asked, clueless. I placed my hand on the back of the couch and leaned my head against my palm after I put down my drink. My thumb pushed down the ring from my finger until it was on my knee and I rolled it around with my acrylic nail. Suddenly, it came to a stop and it was because Harry stopped the movement of the ring. "Kensington. Keep what going?"

"This," I nodded towards the space between us. When I looked back up at him, he raised his eyebrows curiously. "Whatever we do."

"Well..." he took a breath before he continued. "We kiss. Hold hands sometimes, which I wish we did all the time. We share some mind-blowing orgasms. We go on dates sometimes. Oh, and we definitely fight a lot. But not nearly as much as we drink wine."

"That's... true. We do those things," I nodded. "I think, um, it probably wouldn't be bad to carry on?" I said with hopeful eyes. My insides wished he would understand me so badly without having to explain myself and how I felt. What I felt.

"I have about a week left of this contract. Are you sure?" he asked back. "I could easily mess it up and make you not want it anymore."

"Hmm."

"Don't get me wrong. I like the idea of you wanting to see me after this, but I also know you change your mind pretty frequently. I don't want one bad thing to happen and put you off of it."

"Do you really look at this as a business deal?" the question felt weird to ask, it very much should have come from him as opposed to me. The fact that I asked him, made me feel like I was desperate for him to say no, I wanted him to admit he had some kind of feelings for me. Yet, at the same time, I was terrified of that idea. As much as I wanted him to tell me I meant something to him, I knew it would have scared the fuck out of me.

If I meant something to him, that meant I had the opportunity to let him down. I didn't know when or how, but it was bound to happen. If you like someone, you have expectations for them. Not exactly high ones or anything out of the ordinary. But you do expect things from them. Like being emotionally open – vulnerable. I did open up to him before and that felt nice but also kind of out of my comfort zone. I felt like I had to explain myself then and I did because I wanted to.

But what would happen if he'd confront me?

Personally, I despised confrontation. I didn't know how to do it or how to deal with it. I had a big mouth, I didn't have a problem with saying what was on my mind but at the same time, I just disliked the whole idea of having to- to-,

"Earth to Kensington," I felt a push on my knee which caused my train of thoughts to disappear and my body to jump a little at the sudden call back to life. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah... um, what did you say?"

"Doesn't really matter," he shrugged. He kept his hand on my knee, his touch was so hot against my leg that I couldn't focus on anything else. His rings were cute, a ruby one on his index, a silver band on the middle and a rose on his right ring finger. The sleeve of his shirt was rolled up, the hair on his arm was not so visible but still there. My eyes travelled up his arm, his bicep nicely hidden under the material of his black shirt. I felt his gaze on me, intense and curious, maybe a little greener than usual. His lips looked soft and pink, the facial hair above them, his structured nose, cheekbones...

Gosh.

He was beautiful.

I guess Theo James has some competition now.

His head was turned a little towards me which made it easier for me to reach for his cheek and hold it gently. My thumb ran across his cheekbone before my hand slid down to his neck and I leaned closer to him. I heard him inhale deeply and he bit down on his lip, the action caused me to smirk and close to gap between us.

He exhaled through his nose, the warm air fanned my skin as his lips kissed mine. I felt his hand sneak up on the side of my thigh and he gripped me a little, though the feel of the kiss didn't change. It was all too calm and soft and innocent and casual and it just felt right. His lips on mine. His hand on me and mine on him.

Somehow, it all made sense.

I smiled as I tilted my head in the other direction and kissed him again. His bottom lip was trapped between mine as he helped me onto his lap, his body between my legs. I felt a shiver run down my spine as his hands held onto my waist then wandered down to my thighs when we broke apart for oxygen.

His lips looked even more pink now, his eyes sparkled a little more and I wondered if his heart went as crazy as mine did because of the kiss. Or kisses. He looked at me with a wide grin, the frown he had on earlier was now long gone. I shimmied down his lap a little bit and leaned my head on his chest, my arms went around his back as I took a deep breath.

"Are we never gonna talk about this?" his voice dripped from sarcasm as he made a dig at me for what happened the first time around. I chuckled against him before I got off of his lap and cuddled to his side with my legs across his. He placed one of his arms behind me as the other one rested on my legs.

"Shut up," I mumbled.

"Make me," he replied and I pinched his stomach. He let out a whiny scream and slapped my hand away which made me laugh. "This is abuse."

"You are just weak."

"Pft, have you seen my biceps?" he bragged as he lifted his right arm and flexed. I reached out and brought his arm back down then he was quick to hold my hand and push his fingers through mine. I turned my head upwards to look at him, only to see his gaze focused on our hands. He was so nothing like I had ever thought.

"Hey," I called and he snapped his head towards me. So fast that he almost bumped his chin into my forehead. "It's later now. Tell me why you were in a mood before."

"I'm not sure that was stated in the contract, Miss Kensington," he replied with a smug grin on his face and I rolled my eyes. He could be so annoying. "If I remember correctly, there were only dates mentioned. Nothing about personal information or thoughts."

"I told you about Louis and Wolf. You owe me one story in return," I argued.

"Look, even if I told you, there would be nothing you could do about it. If anything, it would probably make us fight. Your mind works in wonderful ways, I'm sure it would cook up something entirely else of what I'd say and make you turn on me. And I'm sorry for being selfish, but I enjoy you being in my arms a little too much to ruin that," he gave me a lengthy explanation.

"That's not fair," I mumbled. "Whatever. Do you want to go to bed?"

"Will I get to cuddle you?" he asked right away.

"Do I look like I wanna be cuddled?"

"As of right now, yes. You are pretty much begging for me to cuddle you."

"Piss off," I laughed and pushed myself away from him. "I'm taking a shower first because you were an arse today."

"You're an arse every day," he fought back.

"I have to be."

"No, you don't."

"Yes, I do," I bickered. "If I'm not an arse then people will look at me as an easy target and walk all over me. I have a reputation I need to keep up. What would people think if I suddenly dropped all my standards and decided to go easy on my employees or clients? Shit would hit the fan."

"OK, but I'm not talking about work. I'm talking about outside of work. You can be nice to me sometimes, you know," he said as we walked upstairs.

"I need to keep you on your toes."

"You can do that without being rude."

"How the fuck am I rude?" I asked back. "Styles, look, you are the first friend or whatever you are to me that I have had in a really long time. Frankly, I have no fucking idea how to separate you from a client."

"What does that even mean?" he questioned as he took a seat on my bed.

"It means that this is a relatively new territory for me," I admitted, although it wasn't something, he already was not aware of. "You have friends, you have always had friends. You know how to treat them differently to your work people. I haven't had friends in years and I find it difficult sometimes that I cannot fully control you. You don't listen to me the way my employees do. I can't give you orders and have you complete them. Sometimes, that gets to me more than it should and I just find it best if we are in a funk."

"Look, I get that this is strange for you... to have someone who cares and they show it. Or, at least, I hope I show it. And I know that it is taking a lot of getting used to, so, if you being a pain in the arse is how you are coping with the change, I guess I'm going to have to deal with it."

"It just comes naturally to want to order you around. To want to shut you out. That is what I do with the people who I work with," I explained. "I never let the relationship change because that will lead to the downfall of Kensington and Co and I really can't afford my company to go bust. That is literally all I have in my life that truly matters and I have no idea what I would do if I wouldn't have it anymore."

"If it came down to it... to choose between someone and your business... what would you go with?" he asked but I felt as though he already knew the answer to that. I just gave him the answer before. It seemed to make sense in his mind as he looked away from me and bit down on the inside of his cheek. "I, um, need to call my siblings... it's, Friday and I usually hang with them."

"Yeah..." I nodded. "Sure. I will, uh, I will go take my shower and then you can go," I said and he hummed in response.

As I walked over to the bathroom, I thought about his question. Like, why did he have to ask that if he already knew the answer? Did he hope for something else? I definitely would have picked my business over anyone. People hurt you and leave you and disappoint you and it is not worth the heartbreak. For me, anyway.

My mind went blank as I stood under the shower head, the hot water steamed up the room and turned my skin red. I enjoyed the way it kind of burned. It made me feel safe and happy. The warmth felt nice and I didn't want to leave it behind.

Eventually, I dried myself and got into my pyjamas. My hair was wrapped up in a towel as my other one was draped over my arm. I moved my ears a little bit with my finger – they got folded up in the process of wrapping my hair up – as I walked back to my room.

Styles was ready to take off to the bathroom as soon as he saw me and wasted no time. The next thing I heard, was the door closing and the lock turning and I was on my own. After I got over him being pressed, I put my towel up on my wardrobe door to dry and got in bed. I brought my laptop with me, not really for work purposes, more so to watch stuff on it, yet I still ended up looking through my emails.

Soon enough, I caught him come back to my room in a pair of plaid pyjama pants and a white t-shirt, his hair messy and a tiny bit wet from the shower. I watched as he put the towel on the back of my chair and then walked over to the other side of my bed and got in it. It wasn't as big as a double bed, I think mine was actually called small double? I had no idea. But as he got in it, it surely felt like a single.

"My parents never seemed to care for me. My nanny was the one who had taken me and picked me up from school, the one who dropped me off to birthday parties, the one who slept by my side when I was ill. She was there when I got my heart broken, she was there when I cried because I didn't feel loved by my mum and dad. She had seen the best and the worst of me," he started to explain out of nowhere. I stopped typing and saved the email as a draft to make sure it didn't get deleted.

"She knows more about me and my siblings alone than my parents put together. She puts my parents to shame," he scoffed. "She... I think she considers me her own son, you know? She had problems getting pregnant and, in the end, it didn't work out. Her husband and her seemed OK with that and I'm really glad he didn't leave her. She's an amazing woman, you know?" he smiled softly. His arms were crossed and so were his ankles. He stared ahead of himself as he opened up about his past. I wasn't sure if I should have asked my questions, so I decided to sit there, with my legs folded, right elbow propped up on my knee and my chin in the palm of my hand.

"So," he sighed. "I had her. I never really knew her husband. I have met him but he worked a lot. He still does. The difference with him, is that he makes time for what matters to him the most. Which actually makes me realise that my parents do the same – they make time for what matters to them. Their jobs, obviously," he snickered. "So, um, her and my uncle... they were my parental figures in life, I guess. Uncle Dave is a great dad, I genuinely look at and think of him as my own, sometimes. His wife, Vic, she's really lovely, too. They always made sure we were OK – me and my siblings. I have a pretty good relationship with all my cousins, to be fair."

"How many of them do you have?"

"Three boys and two girls," he said. "Brooklyn, Romeo, Cruz and Harper are from my mum's side and Gemma, the one girl, is from my dad's side. I don't see much of her because she's a lot like your aunt, in terms of her whereabouts. Like, last time I went out to lunch with her was when I spoke to her last. She is currently in the Philippines."

"Oh, that's nice," I hummed. "So, um, I'm not exactly onto what you are trying to tell me."

"Right... um, I'm not sure how to say this without sounding rude but, coming here and seeing your parents be genuinely happy to see you and welcome you and want to tend to your needs and wants, made me jealous," he told me honestly. I looked away from him and bit down on my lip as it came to me that sometimes, I found it annoying. My dads liked to be under my feet whenever they had the chance and it did my head in. But the fact that Styles would have done anything to have that, made me feel like a bitch. "I know you said you don't really feel close to them and stuff but they still look at you like you are the only thing that matters to them."

"Oh, yeah?" I forced out a laugh. That sounded strange from his mouth. Obviously, my parents loved me but that statement was nowhere near true. I glanced up at him just to find his eyes already set on me. They looked kind of serious and his eyebrows were slightly furrowed. He looked nervous and I wondered if it was because of how honest he had been about how he felt. "And how would you know what that look looks like?"

He opened his mouth to say something and then closed it quickly. He licked his lips before he let the words roll off of his tongue. "Because that's how I look at you."

• • •

a.n.

CAN THEY LITERALLY JUST FUCKING GET MARRIED I CAN'T

but anyways what did yous think? how do we feel about harry's attitude and past and current life and all? i feel like both of their families are kind of untouched as in they haven't been fully explained and stuff cos i'm mainly focusing on them but we'll get there eventually lol

also what are we thinking of their relationship and where do yous see it going and what do you reckon will happen in the next update 😌 lmk i love reading your little theories hehe

as always don't forget to vote n comment xoxo