Renleigh Kensington

He knew what I had done.

He knew that I went behind my ex's back to deal drugs to my housemates.

He knew that I got rid of a baby that once developed inside of me.

He knew I was touched and kissed by men against my will.

He knew what I had done and what had happened to me and yet, he still looked at me the same.

He looked at me with light green eyes that flickered all over my face as if there was not enough time in a day for him to memorise all parts of it. He looked at me with his mouth slightly apart and pouted, lips coated in his saliva from all the times he licked them. He looked at me with his eyebrows slightly furrowed as he tried to understand how I felt without asking any questions and without me having to say anything.

"Did it give you the butterflies, huh?"

He knew.

I had no idea how but he knew.

A lot has happened between us yet it felt like it was nothing. It all went down in a short amount of time and it still caused a lot of feelings to be felt and a lot of stories to be told. I felt like all of me was out in the open yet there was barely anything out there. I shared things that no one knew other than the people involved. I shared things that I kept to myself for all these years and although it was hard to let go of them, I knew I needed to. I held them and babied them for way too long, it almost felt like a piece of me went missing.

He had it.

That piece.

I felt weird when I thought of it. It never occurred to me that I would ever share these memories with anyone. At least, definitely not the way that I had. Willingly. As if I tried to prove something to him... prove to him that I trusted him, maybe?

Ever since he told me he didn't think I trusted him half as much as he trusted me, I just felt like I had to prove him wrong. It was silly, really, I never had it in me to want to change how people viewed me but the possibility of the wrong image of me being implanted in his brain just rubbed me the wrong way.

Perhaps because he was the first person to ever listen to me and hear me out. Perhaps because he was the first person to only demand answers when it affected him. Perhaps because he was the first person, I wanted to let in.

So, yes.

The way he looked at me, did give me the butterflies.

"Fuck," I mumbled to myself when I undid my seatbelt and opened my door. I had to unlock the gates to drive up to our house. Well, my old house. Which was actually my grandparents'. But I grew up here. It was all very complicated. "Alright, well, it looks like someone's here already," I let Styles know when I got back in the car.

"I didn't know you lived in the middle of nowhere..." he commented as he looked out the window. I did kind of use to live in the middle of nowhere. A bunch of trees around, a lot of green space. It was very different to how I lived now. In a penthouse, in the city.

Quickly, I got back out and closed the gate before me. If I had to go through the trouble of opening it and closing it to get in, then others had to as well.

"Yeah, well, I don't think anyone knows that," I sighed as I drove down the little road to get to the house. Frustrated, I bit down on my back teeth when an unfamiliar car caught my attention. From afar, I thought it was my grandparents' car then we got closer and that theory was no longer up for a debate. It was a red Mercedes, with an 18-number plate and unless this was one of my uncles showing off with a brand-new car, I had no idea who was at our house.

"Should I be worried?" he questioned when the car stopped, the engine out, and we just sat in silence. My teeth nibbled on my bottom lip as I got out of the car, the cool weather hit me all over again and the loud slam of the car door most likely caught everyone's attention inside the house. "Ren?"

"Hm?" I hummed questioningly as I walked over to the door. "Shit, um," I realised quick that he was about to meet my parents. It just slipped my mind because I didn't know how I was meant to introduce him or that I even had to do that. "So, just, come with me, I guess."

"No, wait a minute," he called as he grabbed a hold of my hand with his. The touch was warm and it made me look right up at his face. He swallowed hard and nibbled on the inside of his cheek. "Are you OK?"

"Yeah..." I looked at him with furrowed brows. "Yeah, I am. Why would I not be?"

"You seem tense."

"Well, this is my first time seeing my parents in about... um... well, the second time, this year," I spilled. With work, it was hard to manage my time and, in all honesty, I didn't see the point of coming home. My parents and I always ended up in an argument and I just liked to avoid them at all costs.

"Okay... should I be aware of anything sensitive or..."

"No, it's- um, no... there is... nothing," I pulled a fake smile on my face as his thumb stroked my knuckles. "Well, actually, it's just the whole party that's stressing me out but-,"

My explanation was cut short when the nickname that I have only ever heard at home was essentially all I heard.

"Leigh!" there stood my father, in lazy lounge wear, as if he didn't have guests coming for his damn birthday party. He had always been proper laid back, very last minute and basically the complete opposite of how I was. "Darling, I have missed you so much!" he opened his arms wide for a hug and I stepped between them to receive it. To be fair, I did miss my parents a lot and I felt safe as my dad hugged me. My eyes closed and nose filled with the familiar scent of his.

"Missed you too, dad," I mumbled in his chest as my face pressed right into his army green hoodie. "Whose car is that? The red Merc?" I questioned when I pulled away, my eyebrows raised.

"That, my darling, is my birthday present from your father," he told me and I couldn't help but roll my eyes. He couldn't get me to buy him a car so he went to my dad and begged for one from him. Typical Oscar Kensington that is. "Now, whose boyfriend is that? The one with the green eyes?"

I groaned and wanted to punch him in the stomach for the comment.

"That, my dear father, is Harry Styles. My complicated, mysterious plus one," I told him and turned around to see him leaned against my car. I wondered why he stepped to the side – was it because he was nervous? Could it have been because he knew this was my first time seeing my family in a long time and wanted to give us the privacy to reunite? If the latter was the case, then that meant I had to admit the things that gesture had done to my heart – absolutely softened it and caused it to want to shower him in kisses.

Wait.

What?

"Ah, the famous Harry Styles!" my father exclaimed as he stepped down from the porch and walked past me. "I'm Oscar."

"Hello, Sir," he smiled politely as he pushed himself away from my car and placed his hand out front. "I'm Harry Styles."

"Oh, I know," my dad commented with a smug voice. I rolled my eyes again and sighed, my arms crossed across my chest whilst my feet had taken me closer to them. "The complicated and mysterious plus one."

"Is that how I am known then?" Styles laughed and his playful, green eyes shifted over to me for a quick second.

"I guess so," my dad nodded.

"I am going to have to take that then, don't I?" he replied, the chat flew easily between them and it was strange. Wolf was never so polite but also cheeky with my parents. He was on edge most of the time, scared to say the wrong thing and when he came home with me, it all felt way too different to how things were now. "I have heard it is your birthday this weekend..."

"It is... it is," my dad nodded as he folded his arms up. "Found myself on my own in the house this morning, so it wasn't the best birthday morning."

"Why?" I asked curiously. "Where is dad? And when is Brandon coming?"

"I am assuming he went to pick up his sister as she will be staying with us this weekend."

"Where is she flying in from now?" my aunt was always on the road. Single and loaded, I guess it was only right if she made use of her money and time. I admired her a lot for the way she was, I found myself relating to her a lot more than anyone else in my family.

"Thailand, I believe," dad told us. "I am sure she will be very excited to tell you all about her travels later on."

"Probably," I nodded. "Um, who's staying over, then?"

"You and your brother, obviously. Then Sophie and my brother and his family, too. I think your father's brother, Ethan, and his family will be staying at a hotel so they are closer to the city. Wanted to do some touristic shit," he shrugged.

"Right... your friends are coming too?"

"Yeah-yeah, they are," he grinned and I held back my frown. My dad disliked when I said anything bad about his friends. To him, they were the best people on this planet. "Now, let's take your stuff inside... I'll make you your favourite hot chocolate? Harry?"

"Sure," he nodded.

"Wonderful," dad grinned. He leaned closer and pressed a kiss to my temple. "I'm glad to have you home for a bit, Leigh."

I smiled at him and he nodded towards Styles before he walked back inside. I let out a loud sigh, my eyes closed and I pushed my fingers through my hair. He met one of my parents, one was yet to come home.

"So, I guess I am meeting your aunts and uncles, too?" Styles asked me to sooth his nerves and probably mine, too. I was all over the place already. The stress of having to introduce him to everyone and then deal with question after question was going to be tough, especially with a family as curious as mine.

"Yep," I nodded. "Sophie is the first one you'll be getting to know, I think. She is a proper flirt, she literally chats to anything that knows how to breathe."

"Well, maybe I'll get some attention from one of the Kensington women then, huh?" he joked as he took out both of our bags from the trunk. I closed it back down and locked the car then we went inside, too.

"She is not a Kensington," I informed him.

"Right," he mumbled. "Does your dad have a sister?"

"Why?" I asked him curiously. "Do you wanna hook up with a married woman?"

"Dammit," he muttered under his breath. I smirked as I walked up the stairs and he followed me. "I was hoping to get lucky this weekend."

"That hope of yours died the minute I told you, you are coming home with me," I laughed and he chuckled lowly. My room was the second one, closest to the bathroom since my brother got the ensuite one. When we got to the door, it was slightly opened, I thought maybe my dad put new sheets on and I was glad to see I was not wrong. "Well, welcome to my room, I guess."

"It's cute," he said softly. I sat down on my bed and watched him look around. There was not much in my room – a bed, a desk with a spinney chair, a wardrobe, bedside drawers. Your typical bedroom from Ikea. He observed it all, his eyes fanned across every furniture in the room. His hands were shoved in the back pocket of his jeans and his elbows were slightly bent. His shoulder slumped a bit and they looked broad. The light that came in through the massive window I had, made him look like he stepped out of some kind of movie where he played some sort of angel or something. "It's really... clean."

"My taste hasn't changed much," I shrugged as I leaned back on my hands, my ankles crossed. "But even if it did, I haven't done anything to this room since I had moved out at eighteen."

"Really?" he turned around quickly as the question slipped past his lips. He seemed rather surprised and I didn't know if it was because he found it surreal that my taste hasn't changed or that I haven't been living here since I was a young adult.

"What?"

"It just makes no sense to me why you would leave your family behind."

"Um... I didn't know it was so unusual for people my age to live alone," I snickered.

"No, it's not and that's not what I'm saying," he sighed whilst he took a seat on my chair. His legs out and apart as he leaned back on it, arms crossed as he looked out the window. Then back at me. His stare was intense. "You know what? Nevermind."

"Well, okay," I put my hands up in defence. If he didn't want to talk about it, I wasn't one to push. "Oh, I should probably, um, show you some photos... of my family? So, you know who they are."

"Alright," he nodded. "Will I remember everyone's names?"

"That depends on how good your memory is," I smirked. "Alright, come on here then," I patted my bed as I went to get up and grabbed the photo album that was on my bedside drawer. I assumed my dad put it there since he knew I was bringing someone home. He had done that when I brought Wolf home.

"Taking me straight to bed, eh?" he grinned at me smugly as I leaned down on my bed on my stomach. My feet dangled down and I bent my legs then crossed my ankles.

"You wish, handsome," I commented with a sigh and opened the photo album. "Alright then... oh, wow," I laughed as the first page of the album was in front of us. "That is a very drunk granddad."

Styles laughed and propped his head up on his fist. He was in the same position as I was. Our backs were towards the door and so whoever would come in would face our arses. His body was close to mine, the warmth that radiated off of him, mixed with his strong cologne, made me feel like we were back in London. He really was a constant person in my life. I smelt him – in the least creepy sense possible – and I felt at ease.

As we went through the photo album, I found myself zoned out a couple of times. It all brought back the day when I was over at his place and we went through his old photos. He was a wreck then, now he seemed much more like himself. It did make me wonder how he still felt as we didn't really have the chance to talk about the funeral or what was going on with him after. I felt bad about it but I didn't know if I should have brought it up in case it made him feel like shit.

"Oh," he mumbled quietly when he turned to a new page. I didn't realise what happened to make him react that way until my eyes found a photo of Wolf and I with my parents. Up until then, the pictures were only of my aunties and uncles with me or my dads.

Carefully, I took a picture out of the plastic and lifted it closer to my eyes. I looked happy. Wolf looked happy. My parents looked happy. We all were happy and I just didn't know how that had changed or why or how I could've brought those times back. My index finger slowly began to circle my ex's face, the memories that him and I shared, flooded my mind.

I had not seen a photo of him in absolute ages. That moment was the first in forever.

With a deep sigh, I put it to the side, face down and flipped the page.

"That's my, um, brother," I pointed to Brandon, half naked, with paint all over his chest. Styles didn't look at it, his stare was directed to my face as if he examined my reaction to the photo from before. "But you knew that already."

As I said that, there was a knock on my opened door. It caused us both to turn around and there stood my dad, with two mugs of hot chocolate in his hands.

"A shit ton of whipped cream for my darling Leigh and a little bit for her complicated, mysterious plus one," he joked as we both sat up on the bed. Styles chuckled as he reached for the beverage and I did the same.

"Thanks, Mr Kensington," he said politely and I chuckled under my breath as my eyes met my dad's.

"No need to call me that, kid," he told him. "My name is Oscar so use it."

"Oh, okay... Oscar," he tried and it made my dad laugh.

"So, are you guys hungry?" he asked. "I could order something or fix up a sausage butty?"

"Yes!" I said right away, the words made my eyes pop open and perhaps sparkle at the mention of the food. My dad made the best sausage butties and although it was pretty simple, no one's tasted better than what he made. "Please!"

He laughed at me and I could tell I surprised Styles as well. His eyes burned the side of my head until I turned to look at him and caught the soft grin on his lips.

"I'll take one, too," he told my dad when he looked at him. "To me, it sounds like you make it with some kind of magic, so I would like to have a taste of that."

"Sure thing," he smiled. "Come downstairs when you are done unpacking and going through the family photos. Your dad and aunt should be back in half an hour, forty minutes tops."

After my dad left, we were alone again. The mood disappeared from before, then again, I had a feeling that it was because of the photo. It definitely changed mine. If I had to be honest, I wasn't sure if I had ever gotten over my ex, I never truly talked about it, I just pushed it to the side and hoped for the best.

For him to never return to my life in any way, shape or form.

"You miss him, don't you?" Styles asked me a little while after. I pushed my finger into the whipped cream on top of my drink and licked it off soon after. There wasn't really an answer to that question. "You don't have to, you know, lie to me about it."

"I do, I think," I replied softly. It probably did make him feel like shit. But I was really not going to lie about this, especially after he wanted me to be honest. "I shouldn't and I know that. It's wrong of me to miss him because he broke me and he cheated on me and I'm not sure if he ever really cared for me, but he was such a big part of my life."

"I understand," he said. "I'm sorry."

A loud scoff was my reaction. "Why?"

"I'm sorry it didn't work out for you two," he shrugged.

"Hmm... I don't think I am."

"Why is that?" he questioned. His eyes were fixated on the mug in his hands and didn't dare look at me. My eyes, however, were all too busy soaking up his side profile.

"I wouldn't have you annoying me, would I?" I smiled as I nudged his shoulder a little bit. I heard him giggle and sigh before he looked up at me and gave me the softest grin I had ever seen on his face.

"No," he laughed. "You wouldn't."

We both smiled at each other and I turned away to take a sip of my hot chocolate.

• • •

a.n.
PLEASELSKSKSKSKSK CAN THEY JUST MARRY ALREADY OR SUMN IDK I'M OBSESSED W THEM THEY'RE SO CUTE FFS

i'm sad shit will hit the fan soon 😔 not telling when tho cos i do love a surprise and leaving you guys nervous hehehehe

omg ALSO we are hitting 1k reads on SO MANY chapters i'm loving it and also so many chapters are so close to a 100 votes and it just makes me so happy like i love this story so much and seeing it get some attention is so nice omg i love yous thank you sm <3

bUT anygays before i get too sentimental - keep on commenting and voting xoxo gossip girl