Renleigh Kensington

He was really out here calling me darling, sweetheart and his baby. His fucking baby. With his whole chest. Green eyes. Curly hair. Soft lips. Little stubble.

He was so fucking hot.

Or was that my gone-period speaking to me? Was that even a thing?

I had no idea but I couldn't deny it. He was hot. So hot. I would have even dared to call him beautiful. I never called men beautiful. Well, I did call Theo James beautiful. But that man truly was beautiful.

I guess Harry Styles could be added to that list.

A loud sigh left my lips as I found myself in my bed at ten am the day after the golf outing. Ever since I had gotten back on the sleeping pills, I have been waking up at ten am every day if not half ten. I guess my body really did need its sleep considering how I kept it from rest for so long.

My fridge was still fairly filled from when Styles came over and shopped for me and he did email me a few nice recipes that were easy to make. To be honest, I was never really big on cooking. I could live with the basic knowledge I had but honestly, I never did anything fancy that one would order at the restaurant.

That morning, or almost afternoon, I decided to just have a toast with Nutella and banana on it because I really fucking wanted it. It had been a while since I had something so sweet plus fruit, so I thought it was time.

But then whoever was above and controlled us, said that I should wait a little longer and my phone began to ring loudly. I groaned and left everything as it was to find my phone. I never really got calls from my personal unless my brother needed a lift or my parents remembered that I existed meaning they needed help with something. Considering how early it was, I knew my family was not an option and so I just felt it in my tits that Styles wanted something.

"What is it now? We just saw each other yesterday," I said with a monotone voice, not expecting anything back other than a laugh. But when that didn't come, I furrowed my eyebrows and listened closely. Then I heard sniffles. "Styles?"

"Can you come over?"

"What's up? Are you crying?"

"Please... I just need a hug," he sounded so broken I had no idea what to do. He wanted me but I felt so uncomfortable. I had no idea how to deal with him if I were to go over.

"Yeah... sure, I'll-, I'm on my way," I told him as I walked to my front door. I slipped into my sliders and grabbed my keys off of the hook before I left the house and locked the door. I guess my legs worked against my nervous thoughts. "Are you home?"

"Mhm."

"Okay... um, why are you crying? Should I be asking that now or when I'm there? Also, how am I going to get in? Will that man know to let me in?"

"Just tell him to- to let you in because you're coming to s-see me. I'll send a-a text now."

"Alright. I'll see you in a few then," I said and he mumbled a quiet okay before I buttoned him.

I didn't even realise what car keys I took, I just grabbed what was closest. It ended up being my Lambo which I didn't mind. That one had the address in it anyway from when I dropped him off after his night out so I could easily find his place.

It was so unclear to me as to why he called me when he was so sad. Like, I really had no idea how I was going to help him. Sure, he wanted a hug and I guess I knew how to hug someone. But after that, he might as well just send me home. It kind of made my heart hurt that I was going to be so useless when he was so down. He sounded terrible on the phone. I couldn't have explained it, really. His voice was really deep and hoarse and weak and he sounded like he was in the middle of crying and I hated that shit.

When I rolled up to the gates and let the security guard know who I was here for, he made me sign in and then let me through. I already knew which house to stop by since I had been here before. Much to my surprise, he was sitting outside of his front door and as soon as he noticed I was there, he stood up and opened the gates. Once there was nothing that separated us, the lock back on the gate, he wrapped his arms around my neck and hid his face in his arms and my hair.

I wasn't too sure what to say. Or if I should have said anything. Instead, I wrapped my arms around his middle tightly and let him cry on my shoulder. It was kind of strange. I had not seen a man cry so hard before, most likely because I always excused myself if it happened. I guess my parents cried at their wedding but I didn't remember much since I was pretty young.

Styles sniffled a lot and his body shook with the cries that left him. I wondered why he was so upset. He was happy yesterday. It kind of seemed unfair of the world to make him cry. I didn't think he deserved to be sad because he was too much of a good person.

"Hey," I mumbled softly when he pulled away from me. He wiped his nose with the back of his hand which he then wiped on his joggers, his fingers reached for the sleeves of his short sleeved shirt and turned his head to the side a little to wipe his eyes free from his tears. His cheeks were flushed, his eyes really green with his lashes stuck together and spikey from the salty droplets. My hand reached up to his face then cupped his cheek, the motion caused his head to lean into my touch as he closed his eyes and a ragged breath escaped his chapped lips. Newly formed tears seemed to make an appearance from under his closed eyelids, the hot liquid trickled down and hit my thumb. "Let's go in," I suggested as I wiped away his tears then grabbed his hand and pulled him inside.

His dog was right by our side, quiet and kind of in the way. I guessed he sensed his owner wasn't feeling too good and wanted to keep him safe. We didn't make it very far, only to the living room where his couches were a mess. Pillows on the floor and some on the furniture, the blanket halfway down it.

"C'mon then," I sighed as I sat down and pulled him after me. He literally didn't waste any time to lay his head on my lap, his whole body cuddled to my side and again, shaking. I ran my fingers through his hair, the curls wrapped themselves around them which made me smile softly then as soon as his grievous cries got louder, it disappeared quickly. "It's okay, handsome, you're going to be okay."

But was he? I had no idea. What even happened to him? I knew he would not be able to tell me any time soon and no matter how curious I was, I had to respect that.

I felt so fucking useless as he cried on my lap. He gradually grew quieter as I thought he ran out of tears to cry and that made me feel slightly better. He sounded like he was in so much pain and I couldn't exactly deal with it too much longer. It really did hurt me.

Then it got strangely quiet. So quiet that I thought he passed out on me. He didn't sob anymore, he didn't sniffle anymore. Hell, I didn't even know if he fucking breathed anymore!

Carefully, I moved one of my hands out of his hair – yes, I did play with his hair for hours and it was strangely calming for both of us, I thought – and tapped my way across his face. His cheeks felt hot and sticky as I made my way over to his eyes. My fingertips landed on his eyelids which meant they were closed therefore he was asleep.

"Damn," I muttered as I realised, I could literally not move otherwise he would wake up. And after that crying session, I knew he needed his sleep.

Thankfully, I had my phone on me so whilst he slept on my lap, I decided to check through the device. I had a few looks I forgot to post on my Instagram so once those made it up there with lowkey captions, I moved onto my texts. I had about three hundred piled up. Most of them were from my service provider, unread ones from my brother because he usually just ended up FaceTiming me when I ignored his texts and same with my parents. The only texts I ever really answered were from the man who slept on my lap and that was actually pretty hilarious.

Like, wasn't I meant to dislike him because he was my competition? Yet, here I was, with him on my lap, after he called me and I left my house like I had nothing better to do. That was a bit concerning and I knew that two months ago I would not have done that for anyone, nevermind Harry Styles.

Then, one wrong move as I was deep in my thoughts, and my phone slipped out of my hand, the hard object fell on his fucking face.

"Oh my god!" I said right away, my hands pressed down on the side of his face as I screwed my eyes shut. I knew that was not going to do much. He groaned and stirred, until he grabbed my arms by my wrists and pulled them off of his face. "I'm..."

"Well, that was a rude awakening if I say so myself," he muttered and I felt so bad. He literally cried so much before and after he finally got like half an hour sleep, he was awakened again.

"I didn't mean to-,"

"It's cool," he said as he pushed himself up into a sitting position. "Fuck, my neck is killing."

"I mean, you did sleep on my lap in a pretty weird position."

"Thanks for stating the obvious," he muttered. "God, I feel so fucking upset."

"What happened?" I asked curiously. "You called at such a random time and you cried..."

"Life is just... shit, you know?" he said then bit down on his back teeth, his jaw under pressure as he tried to keep himself together. He screwed his eyes shut again, his hands balled into two fists and began to whiten. I placed my hand on top of one of his and carefully unfolded it to hold it. I knew that helped me when he did it to me yesterday so I assumed it would calm him down a little bit.

"This is maybe the second time you told me you were upset," I stated quietly as I remembered back to the time we spoke at the hospital. I watched him closely as I sat nearer him. My left knee hit the side of his, the right one propped up on the seat and was a bit behind his back. I felt the cushion behind my back so I knew if I leaned back it'd be comfortable. I pulled my right hand away from him and rubbed his back a little whilst he gripped my other hand. "The first time was when something happened to someone you loved. Is this- did something happen to someone?"

He didn't reply just nodded his head. His lips rolled into his mouth as a tear dropped down from his cheek then another one followed and many others came soon enough. A soft 'cc' sound left my lips as I pulled his body to my chest and it kind of felt like that was an indication for him to let go of his emotions.

With my back against the cushion and the side of the couch, his whole body leaned to my front. Eventually, both of my legs were up and he was between them, his head in the crook of my neck and arms on the sides of my body. His tears soaked my shirt for what felt like hours. I rubbed his back until my palms felt like they were on fire so I changed to my nails. The way he laid on me, I could see the necklace around his neck, his curls really tight at the nape of his neck. My right hand stayed on his back as I moved my left one down his arm, the skin felt bumpy from the goose bumps that my tickling caused. With my head leaned against his, I let my fingers slide underneath the sleeve of his shirt then back out and down his arm.

"He didn't even say b-bye to me," he rumbled. His voice was really deep and laced with pain. So much pain. It made my heart miss a beat kind of so much pain. I had no idea who he was on about then I thought of what he really said. He.

My heart really stopped then.

"Is M-Mason okay?" I dared to ask. My mind played images I did not want to see nor did I want to think of.

"Y-yes," he mumbled and I felt relieved. Thank fucking hell for that.

Neither one of us spoke again for ages. I kept my hands on him, just playing with his curls and his necklace softly. He sniffled in my ear sometimes, I felt him nudge me with his nose or press a kiss on my neck randomly. It made me tingle and close my eyes. Those gestures were so soft and sweet.

"I des-deserved it, I guess," he spoke up again and then quieted down again. God. He made no sense. "I haven't spok-spoken to him in-in a long tim-time," he inhaled deeply and his voice weakened. My arms tightened around him and I pressed a soft kiss on his head.

Maybe I was better at this comforting thing than I initially remembered.

His hair was a proper mess from all the times I ran my hands through it but I didn't think he was arsed. He had much bigger problems to deal with.

"Sometimes... sometimes we just lose contact with people, you know? Not on purpose... it just... happens, I guess," I spoke up a little later. I had no idea if it helped him at all or if he wanted me to say anything but it was a little too late now. "Whoever you are talking about... I'm sure they miss you and they want to reconnect with you soon."

"You d-don't get it," he said. "He's gone. Dead. No-not breathing anymore. F-Finished. Forever."

"Oh, shit," I mumbled. "That's-, fuck, I shouldn't have said that. Just... just ignore me."

And he did. There were no other words spoken between us. I thought he might have fallen asleep again but he pressed yet another kiss on my neck. It was right where he knew he had to kiss to make me crumble. Then he done it again. And one last time, before I felt his hot tongue against my skin.

"H-Harry," I sighed in pleasure. This was so wrong. So damn wrong. My eyes closed as my tongue wetted my lips and they rolled in my mouth. "Fuck..."

"You like that, don't you?" he mumbled as he nudged his nose along my jaw, his teeth bit down on my earlobe and I didn't understand how he found it in himself to get horny.

He was crying his heart out before!

"My baby," he whispered deeply, my eyes still closed and body already heated. Thankfully, I was no longer on my period although I had no time to take care of myself which meant I would have been down for anything to help me reach an orgasm. "God... look at you."

My eyes slowly opened after I felt him move away, his eyes red and puffy as he looked down at me. His hair was a mess and yet I still found him cute. I had no idea when that happened but I could not deny it.

"We- we shouldn't be... shouldn't be doing this," I swallowed hard when he leaned back over me and his lips attacked my neck again. I was such a fucking sucker for neck kisses. Whether I gave them or received them, it didn't matter. I found them so sexy yet meaningful at the same time.

"I need you to take my mind off of things... I wanna do something. Plus, I've missed you," he told me and he sniffled.

"Well... what to do you want to do?" I questioned him.

"I really want you on top," he said. His arms were quick to pull me up as he sat down. Soon enough, I found myself on his lap, my thighs on his sides and arms around his neck. "Perfect."

"You look horrible," I told him honestly.

"You look stunning."

"Well, yeah, I know," I scoffed and he rolled his eyes at me. "What do you want to do now that I'm on top?"

"I don't know but you should stop making this sound like some kind of introduction to a porn video because I'll end up laughing."

"I literally just asked what you want to do now that I'm on top!" I argued with him.

"I don't know," he shrugged, a mischievous smile on his lips contradicted his words. He so knew what he wanted. "Surprise me."

"This is so wrong though..."

"Oh, shut up," he groaned and pulled my face to his with his hands then smashed his lips on mine. The kiss was filled with so many emotions.

Pain, for one. It felt very dependent, it felt like he needed it to distract himself. Lust, for two. It was very heated with his tongue on my bottom lip then soon enough in my mouth.

"Quit thinking," he muttered in my mouth as his teeth grabbed my bottom lip and sucked them in his mouth. I moaned into the action and I felt him smirk. My arms wrapped around his neck as my hips grinded into his. He placed his hands on my waist as my lips travelled down to his jawline, open mouthed kisses spread all across his skin until I reached his neck. "Fuck..."

Okay.

His moans were my favourite fucking sound.

That's it.

That's all I ever wanted to listen to.

So, I kissed him at the same spot again, just to trigger him and there.

"That's my favourite sound," I mumbled into his ear and I felt him grip my waist tighter. I bit into my lip as I giggled and dragged my nose down his neck again.

Through this, my hips still moved in a steady rhythm. I felt myself getting wetter and wetter with each swing, his moans just made it that much easier. So badly, I wanted to reach down my joggers, push my underwear to the side and get myself off but for some reason, I was intrigued to find out if dry sex could get me to the top.

It was almost like riding a pillow. Or someone's thigh.

God, he did have some nice thighs.

"I'll... you really gonna make-make me- fuck," he growled and I couldn't help but push down on him harder then swirl my hips around in a circle. "Fuck, that feels s-so good," he mumbled and I kissed his neck over and over again. My mouth went down towards his throat, my finger gently pulled down on the neck of his shirt to kiss the dip between his collarbones. "Make me cum," he mumbled. "Yes- yes- yes... mhm."

"You feel so good under me," I moaned in his ear and kissed my way over to his mouth. The kiss was sloppy and his teeth bumped into mine again. It was too heavy for either of us to care. The need to feel something other than the pain he had been through was too strong. "I want you... fuck, do I want you to fuck me..."

"I will, sweetheart," he groaned. He had his eyes closed as I stared at him, his cheeks flushed. It was probably from the crying but I knew he would have picked up some colour had he not been crying beforehand. "Soon... shit. I-I'm so close... yes. A little more... ugh, baby- baby- my fucking baby..." his breathing was heavy and loud, so fucking stunning, actually.

I had not seen a man reach his high and look as beautiful as he did.

Because fuck. He was bloody gorgeous.

And he was to be mine.

Only mine.

• • •

a.n.
well then. i reckon this gave a completely new side to renleigh, one that we haven't seen before but will definitely show a few more times in the upcoming chapters

i actually remember when this random idea came to me to turn harry into a complete mess and play with him a little because i always felt like i let him go easy in my books. tiring him out a bit will hopefully get some reaction out of you guys, too, and create a deeper connection to him. and renleigh as well so that when they go back to being little bitches to each other, it will do more damage hehehe

be sure to comment and vote as always <3