Renleigh Kensington

I did not expect it to be this fucking cold. Then again, my body felt quite hot for hours now. And it was not because of a fever or because of a hot beverage. It was more so to do with the thoughts in my head. They did not let me get a minute of peace ever since the idea of Harry fucking Styles giving me an orgasm entered my brain. It was stupid, really, I had no idea why I asked him that last night. Perhaps the wine. Yes. Most likely.

I always blamed everything on my favourite drink ever and so this situation was no different.

We were out in Paris today. We decided, well mostly Styles, to spend the day exploring because he couldn't believe that I have never walked around without a purpose. I always knew what I did or what I was going to do and so because we had no plans at all, I was kind of stressed. I liked plans.

"Are you sure you're not cold?" Styles asked me for the hundredth time as we aimlessly walked around the city.

"Yes. I am. Why do you keep asking me this?"

"Because we can go get warmed up if you want..."

"I told you I'm not cold, though," I chuckled. He looked at me and then sighed, his eyes travelled down to my chest as he bit into his bottom lip then shook his head. "What?"

"What?" he asked back, innocently. Then it clicked in my brain as I looked down myself, a smirk on my lips as he tried to make excuses. "I just..."

"You thought I was cold judging from my nipples?"

"Well..."

"I have nipple piercings," I laughed at him and it got louder when his eyes widened. That was the only reason why he could've thought I was cold. The metal through my skin poked at my shirt. "What?"

"You have nipple piercings?"

"Mhm," I nodded. "Had them for years."

"Okay. Wow. That's so hot."

"Thanks," I smirked. He looked so shocked, it honestly amused me. "Go on. Ask away."

"It's just... does it not feel weird?"

"Sometimes. I forget I have it for the most part. Not today, though. They fucking hurt, that's why I don't have a bra on."

"Did it hurt when you got them done?"

"Oh, yeah," I nodded as I remembered back to the time. "Eight out of ten if not nine."

"Shit," he hissed. Then shuddered and I had to laugh. "You're mad. My nipples are hurting just thinking of letting someone close to them with a needle."

"This one time, I was changing the bars, right? Well, one of them. And I got a call from my ex and stuff so I picked it up and we talked and whatever and we decided to meet up for food and I forgot I took out the bar so the fucker closed up. Bare in mind, when you're changing them you're not actually meant to pull the bar put fully without the other one behind it already. So, I had to get them re-pierced."

"Why would you put yourself through that all over again?" he asked with a pained facial expression. "Can you not lay on your chest then?"

"Why couldn't I?"

"Aren't they sensitive?"

"Nah, not really. I heard some people had a tough time with theirs but mine's fine for the most part."

"That's good, isn't it?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "I can't believe you thought I was cold or that you had no shame in staring at my boobs."

"They're nice boobs, you should be proud," he nudged me a little and I rolled my eyes. "Also, we kind of match."

I looked at his outfit when he said that and it was somewhat true. He had blue jeans on like me, a white shirt, trainers and a coat. Plus sunnies. Even though it was cold.

"Cute."

"I feel so awkward whenever you answer with one word like that," he groaned and I chuckled under my breath. "You are so strange."

"Difficult. Annoying. Weird. Now strange. Hmm."

"Shut up. You know I'm just messing."

"Are you though?"

"For the most part, yeah," he replied. "Have you thought more about what we talked about yesterday?"

"What exactly are you talking about? A lot of things came up yesterday."

"About me giving you your best orgasm yet."

"That's bold as fuck of you to say," I scoffed. "But... no," liar.

"I'll let you decide that once you've had a taster. Well, once I have had a taste-,"

"Oh my god! Shut up!" I pushed him away from me as we walked a bit away from people. Thank godness there was no one too close. Styles just laughed and he grabbed my arm then slipped his around my shoulders. "God. You are so annoying."

"That makes two of us," he told me as he grabbed my right hand from behind his back and wrapped it around his middle. "There. Hold me to you so we look cute."

"I don't even know what to say to that," I stated as I truly did feel speechless. This was so weird for me. I haven't done anything relationship-like in forever.

"Say... kiss me, handsome and then I will and we'll fit in with others."

"Kiss me, handsome," I said and he almost choked on his spit. I had to laugh at his reaction because clearly, he expected something snappy from me as opposed to that.

"Wait. Really?" he looked at me with wide eyes.

"I mean you wanted it, didn't you?"

"Okay, but do you?"

"Dunno. Find out."

He looked uncertain as we just stared into each other's eyes. It almost made me laugh. It was so cliché. Looking at each other like that, in Paris... typical tourists. I didn't like that.

So, just like I did a few weeks back, I placed my hands on his cheeks and kissed him. His skin felt soft and cold under my touch, my thumbs ran over his stubble and I felt him inhale through his nose. His arms slowly curled around my waist as he pulled me closer, his smirk grew and he chuckled as he leaned his forehead against mine. He wasn't too taller than me but I still had to stand on my tiptoes to be close enough to him.

"Mad, mad woman, you are," he sighed, his eyes closed and a grin on his mouth. His lashes were quite long and his skin looked really nice and clean from so close. I wondered what he did to it and if he'd share his secrets.

"Shut up and give me another one," I mumbled more to myself than him as I leaned in to feel his lips again. They were warm even though it was so fucking cold and I enjoyed the way they fit against mine. Between mine. God. His lips were insane.

My coat was a bit long, it covered my ass for sure, and his hands were under it. Right on my skin that my crop top didn't cover. Goose bumps covered my stomach and my nipples got a little hard from his touch, from the idea of him slipping his hands more towards them and squeezing them, from the coldness that surrounded us. Soon enough, I felt his hot tongue against mine and his hands on my ass. He squeezed me which got a soft moan out of me and I felt him smirk.

"Stop," I pushed his hand away with one of mine, then linked both of my arms around his neck. He slowly moved his hands back around my waist so his cool rings were in contact with my skin again.

"You really do confuse the fuck out of me."

"Yeah, I try my best," I chuckled and licked my lips as I surprised myself and him once my arms snuck around his middle and I hugged myself to him. A deep sigh escaped my lips when he hugged me back and it felt nice. When we pulled away, I suddenly asked, "Have you ever tried snails?"

"I can't say I have. Frogs, on the other hand, I have."

"What does it taste like?"

"I had fried frog legs and they were... strange at first. Then it kind of tasted like a weird mix between chicken and fish," he explained as I pulled back from him fully. His finger brushed my hair away from my face, the short strands fell out from my hair bobble in the windy weather. His eyes followed the movement of his fingers before he locked them on my hazel ones and threw the question at me. "Why? Do you want to try snails?"

"I do."

"Shit, okay. Let's go then," he grinned.

"Why does this make you so happy?" I laughed. "Do you never try new things?"

"I want to it's just... whenever I'm with others, they think it's a waste of time or they find it disgusting. I don't know. You're so chill. Which is fucking crazy to me because all I have ever known was your work crazed side."

"Guess I am full of surprises."

"You sure are," he nodded.

Our next stop really was to try snails, Styles just as excited and curious as I was. We literally just ordered one portion of the snails so we got around six. I had no idea if I was going to like it at all or just spit it back out but this was the point of this. To try it.

"Okay. We're doing it on three," he told me as he picked one up. They looked alright on the plate, I hoped they tasted good, too.

"One," I said.

"Two," he added.

"Three," and then we both ate it.

I looked at him as I chewed the food. It had a fucking strange texture, a bit chewy and... mushroom-y. I loved mushroom though so that was fine. It was in a buttery, garlicy, pestoy sauce or whatever which was really nice, too. My initial thought of it being disgusting quickly washed away as I grinned and nodded.

I reached for my wine as Styles almost spitted his out.

"You liked that?" he asked me with a grimace. I laughed as he spit the snail out into a napkin and folded it to the side. He took his glass of wine and washed his mouth out with it. Literally. As it if was water.

"It wasn't so bad," I shrugged. "It tastes like mushrooms."

"Mushrooms are fucking vile."

"You did not just say that," I looked at him with the same facial expression he had given the snails. "Oh my god, you are so weird. Have you never had stuffed mushroom then? Garlic mushrooms? Fried mushrooms?"

"Those all sound disgusting."

"You are disgusting," I told him with the shake of my head. "Okay. Let's order those frog legs then."

"Finally, some good food," he sighed. I rolled my eyes and ate another one of those snails. He just gave me the dirtiest look and I kicked his shin under the table. "Bitch."

"Call me a bitch again and I'll rip your dick off."

"If you wanted a dildo, you could have just told me instead of threatening Harry Jr."

"Maybe I want something that feels real, alright?"

"No need to rip my baby off. Just let me know when you want us and we'll be there," he winked at me as he leaned back on the chair and sipped on his wine. For some reason, I had a feeling he drank so much more of it since he had gotten to spend more time with me because honestly, I always had a bottle open.

"You sound really proud of your dick sometimes."

"I hope I do," he sighed dramatically. "He's all I have going for me. Other than my handsome face. I need both in order to get by."

"You are so full of yourself."

"Is that a problem?" he questioned. "Do you maybe wanna be full of me, too?"

"Honestly? Not today. My nipples, well, my boobs in general hurt too much and I can't focus on anything else."

"Oh?"

"My period is super late so..."

"You know, it's nice to talk to someone who's so... open. I have encountered people, women in this case, who felt absolutely disgusted to talk about their periods in front of me. Or anyone else."

"I mean... it's literally just blood. Which I cannot stand. But I mean everyone knows it happens to women once a month so it's not like a secret? It's a great thing to blame things on although when other people come at me with the 'oh someone's on their period' or more so done in the past, I was ready to strangle them. But, uh, I guess that's how I was raised? To be open about stuff. Then things happened and I just shut everyone and everything out."

"Why do you think that happened? That you shut down?"

"That was my best option, you know?" I forced a laugh as I zoned out a little bit. My vision was blurry as my eyes focused on nothing in particular. "I didn't find it important to talk to people if they weren't going to believe me."

"Believe you about what? I don't think I get you..."

"When all you have is your words to work as proof, people just... don't believe you. I mean, isn't there a saying like... pictures or it didn't happen? I guess everyone around me believes in that but me."

"Is this about your ex cheating?"

"Not really... it doesn't matter, you know? I'm... used to it. Not dealing with it but when it happens, I'm just like 'oh, here we go again' and then it causes me even more pa-, you know what? Let's just leave it at that."

"Are you sure?" he asked me. "We can go back to the hotel and talk. Like, for real talk. I can tell it is bugging you more than you let on and I just want you to feel relaxed and happy whilst we're here at least."

"Yes. I'm sure. Even if I talked about it, there would be nothing you could do about it."

"Okay... just. Let me know when you change your mind, please," I nodded and he did the same.

He wanted me to open up to him about all the times men thought it was fun to touch me when I didn't want them to. He wanted me to open up to him about all the times men stared me up and down then kissed me against my own will. He wanted me to open up to him about all the times this would not only happen with strangers but people who my parents considered as family friends. He wanted me to open up to him about all the times I have tried to tell someone – my parents and my friends at the time mainly – about what happened and they just silenced me, told me I was being silly and the men probably just joked around with me. He wanted me to open up to him about things that people made me feel like were minor, every day acts when in reality, it fucked with my mind a lot.

It worried me that if I really would try and open up to him about how disgusting I felt whenever I remembered back to these people touching me, he would be the same as everyone else. He just wouldn't believe me. I had no permanent bruises on my skin, the only permanent damage it caused was inside of my head. I had no physical proof of these things ever happening to back my own words. I just had those.

Words.

They were nothing.

At least, not when it came to sexual harassment or harassment in general.

The day Styles almost knocked down my damn office doors and kissed me, reminded me of my past. Okay, that sounds deeper than what happened. I just had shit experiences which are still affecting me now. Experiences that have been stripped of their damage, of how wrong they are to make it OK in other people's mind. So, it made me believe it wasn't a big thing to worry over. But when things like that happened, just one forceful kiss or touch, it made the flashbacks come back.

My thoughts seemed to fly away the moment the waiter brought out the frog legs. Styles gave me a smirk as he picked up one of them and went right for it. I hoped I wasn't going to like it just to piss him off, but weirdly, I fucking liked this, too.

"Told you it's peng," he shrugged and I rolled my eyes. I didn't want to like it.

"This may sound random but have you sorted your shit out with your brother?"

"Kind of... we talked but I can tell he's not so happy with me."

"He was really upset with you."

"He told me. But seemed to leave out what you two talked about," he mentioned. "For some weird reason, both of my siblings grew attached to you pretty quickly. Which is actually insane because my sister is very picky and she voices her dislikes a lot — even at her age, yes — whereas my brother just swallows his opinions and acts fake nice but with you, he seems genuine."

"I suppose... I have always been told I was good with kids which is strange because I never really thought I would ever want to pop any out. My mind has always been set on being the coolest and richest Auntie who drinks wine, dresses nice and keeps her company running for as long as possible. Kids were never in my plan."

"So, you don't want kids?"

"It's not my top priority. I couldn't take care of them, anyway. Plus, who would want to knock someone like me up? Literally no one," I laughed at him and at the possibility of me ever getting pregnant again. "I mean, I know I'm pretty fucking awesome and I'm good in bed so I would never turn down a one-night stand or someone who just wants to fuck and be rich. But kids? Marriage? Fuck that shit. Commitment is literally the scariest thing ever."

"Oh, damn," he mumbled. "What made you decide that?"

"Past experiences."

"Right. Okay. I feel like I've got enough out of you for now," he told me. "How about we go back to the hotel and nap for a bit? You said you were in pain earlier, maybe being in the warm will help."

"I thought we'd go see the tower?" I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.

"We can do that later. Plus, it's much prettier at night," he told me as a matter of fact. Sure, the lit-up attraction was nicer at night so I couldn't really fight him on that but I didn't want to seem like those cheesy couples. They just rubbed me the wrong way.

"Don't people go all dressed up at night? I didn't bring anything too fancy."

"Well, what did you bring?"

"Jeans."

"That's fine. We won't be going anywhere fancy. I did look at the restaurant in the tower but you have to prebook and since this trip was really random, I had no time to prepare for anything. Maybe next time."

"What makes you think there'll be a next time?" my eyebrow rose as a smug smile tugged on my lips, the question didn't seem to catch him off guard. It was like he almost expected it from me.

"I just know it," he shrugged, the confidence stood out in his voice like a sore thumb. I hummed in response, my lips wrapped around the mouth of the wine glass as the red liquid had flown in my mouth.

Styles watched me with intrigued eyes and I had no problem staring back at him. He had done that so many times, it made me wonder if he wanted to intimidate me. There was no way the competition would be broken because of me and out of all the times he did invite me to a staring competition, I came out on top.

And not going to lie, I did kind of hope I was going to be on top of him, too.

• • •

a.n.
looks like someone's horny xxx also omg we hit 20k reads which is insane so thank u 🤝 let's hit another 20k lads xx

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