Renleigh Kensington

He was fuming with me. I could tell.

His eyes were dark green, his jaw was under way more pressure than it should have been as he bit down on his back teeth and he quite literally knocked my office doors down. For that, I wanted to shout at him but I had no time.

His lips pressed onto mine forcefully.

It caused my chest so heave up and down fast, my eyes widened and panic jolted through my body. My stomach stirred and my hands felt weak and as if they were ready to snap as I tried to push him away. I turned my head away and got away from him as fast as I could.

My chair rolled away from my desk, my ankle almost twisted when I moved because my feet weren't fully in my heels. Heavily, I inhaled and exhaled through my mouth and stared at Styles in fear.

Not because he was scary when he was angry.

But because his actions didn't provoke good memories.

"Are you fucking insane?" I asked him, my voice a bit shaky. His eyes widened at that and he tried to come closer as he placed his arm out, trying to reach me. "Fucking stay there!"

"Kensington, I-,"

"Who do you think you are? Coming in here and- and-," my words came to a halt stop as I felt my eyes began to water up.

Oh, hell fucking no.

I turned my head towards the ceiling and I fanned my eyes with my hands. My ankle began to ache as well, the one I almost twisted. My mouth burned from his on mine and I felt like throwing up. His touch was on my arm, strong and although he probably didn't mean to make me feel like this as he had no idea, I would react this way, it still happened.

"Kensington, what- what happened?"

"Don't," I said quietly. I sniffled as I tapped my fingers under my eyes just in case a fucking tear escaped. Through all this, I felt his stare on me. He followed my every move. "Just... leave me alone."

"What just happened then?"

"Ask yourself," I said sternly. "What the fucking hell made you think it was ok to barge in my office and- and force yourself onto me like that? Are you out of your fucking mind?" I ended up raising my voice at him, my frustration, fear, panic and memories stuffed in my brain.

"Hey- heyheyhey," he said swiftly and walked over to me as I almost crashed onto the floor. His arms were back around me, so much softer this time. But it still made me flinch when he was near me. "Ren, darling, breathe," he said gently and I hated this. I hated how he saw me in this state. I hated how he caused me to be in this state. "It's okay. I'm sorry," he whispered as he hugged me to his chest. His damn cologne was all up in my nose, completely blocked anything else out. His warmth was nice but also freaking strange. Along with my mind replaying images I didn't want to see again, I wasn't sure whether it was best for me to stay in his arms or stay away from him. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart. I'm so stupid. I shouldn't have done that... you just-, doesn't matter," he mumbled as he gave up the explanation. "Deep breaths, darling. In and out... yes. Perfect. In again," he said and did it with me. "Out... wonderful."

With time, I felt normal again. My breathing was fine, my head... not so much. I kind of felt tired. Definitely weak.

"C'mon," he mumbled once he stood up and pulled me with him. It was crazy how he was able to lift me. I was always told I was too heavy to be lifted. "Do you have a... here. Have a drink," he gave me my water bottle after I sat back down in my chair and I did.

Again, he watched me closely. I wiped my mouth roughly. To get rid of the water and his kiss. That kiss was... horrible. Nothing like the first one we shared. I preferred that one. This one was disgusting. It reminded me of things I never wanted to relive or revisit at all.

Yet one forceful action was enough to stir up a storm in my brain.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Fuck off," I scoffed. "How can you think that was okay? Do you do that to women all the time?"

"N-no..."

"Yeah, I fucking hope you don't," I snapped. "That's considered assault, I hope you are aware."

"I know I-,"

"There's no point in explaining yourself. I don't want to hear it, let's just say," I stated coldly. "Also, next time be more fucking careful with my doors. You're not the one paying for repair so keep that in mind."

"Y-yes... of course," he nodded. "I'm sorry. I apologise. For the door. And- and for the kiss, too. I just-,"

"You just what?" I cut him off when he began to stutter. This wasn't the first time someone kissed me against my will. In the past, my reaction was even worse. Not that it should've improved over the years. But the fact that it has, actually disgusts me. There are way too many vile people out in this world. "Thought it would be all hot and sexy if you stormed in here and kissed me like a fucking sadist? Sorry to break it to you but this is real life – not some fucked up novel."

"I am aware. This morning... you left," he sighed as he revealed why he was so mad. It made me laugh. Not because I found it funny but more so because I found it pathetic. He was mad over the fact that I left. When he knew I had to come to work and it is not like him and I have anything to do with each other. I shouldn't even need to be telling him what I'm doing or where I'm going and when I'm going.

"So, what?"

"I thought you'd be there..."

"And because I wasn't you decided to dress up, leave your house, drive here, get in my building then act all angry and kiss me?"

"When you put it like that..."

"Then what?" I asked him, irritated. He made no sense.

"I don't know... I don't know, okay! I just- I just needed to kiss you and I thought if I did it like this then you wouldn't have a choice but kiss back and..."

"Did you hear what you said? You said 'you wouldn't have a chance but kiss back'. Please tell me how that's okay. Please tell me how is forcing someone to kiss you is okay. Because personally, I do not understand."

"It's not okay. I'm sorry. I know it is not okay. I thought we were just in a place where I could kiss you and... and it'd be okay."

"Harry, even if we were in a relationship it wouldn't be okay for you to force yourself onto me like that," I told him a lot less aggressively. "Sure, this was only a kiss and you probably didn't have any bad intentions but it triggered me. I'm not excusing what you did because I personally think it was wrong."

"I- I triggered you? My actions... the kiss?" he asked me, kind of helplessly and broken. His eyes were filled with an emotion I couldn't quite pin point.

"Yes."

"I'm so sorry, Renleigh. I really am," he apologised for the fifth time. I could tell he felt like shit. His face kind of paled, his eyebrows were furrowed and the little dip between them was visible. His eyes were glassy like he was ready to let his tears roll down his cheeks but it didn't happen. "That was so inappropriate of me and I want you to know that I- I feel terrible. I have no idea what came over me. I shouldn't have done that and I understand if this will put a distance between us and you won't want to go out with me anymore. Well, we're not really going out but you know what I mean. I, uh, I'm gonna go and leave you alone. I'll text you later to check in on you but I also understand that you might not reply and that's okay. I, uh, I'm sorry again and... yeah."

Then he really left.

Without a fight.

Or letting me say anything else.

The door softly locked itself once it closed and I sighed. My cheeks itched and when I touched my skin with my fingers, I felt it was still wet. Another sigh escaped my lips as I slipped my feet out of my heels and walked over to the bathroom linked to my office. My makeup was a mess but there was really no power in me to fix it.

Or do work.

My mind didn't let me rest.

Memories from when I was younger, out, drunk with people all over me. Hands I didn't wish to feel, touches I didn't like, words that upset my stomach, actions that scarred me for life. Family friends at parties. No one noticing. Unwanted attention. All of them came crashing down on me in literally a second.

The worst part of this was that I felt alone. Terribly alone.

I really did not have any friends because I never socialised anymore. I just worked. I had my parents and brother. But I couldn't even talk to them. They had no idea about anything. Not that they would have believed me or anything. When I tried to explain what happened, it was like I talked to a wall.

Perhaps that was why I had trust issues. Perhaps that was why I didn't believe people. They didn't seem to believe me so why should I have believed them?

This was different when it came to my job.

Employees believed in me. I believed in them. They knew I wanted the best and they knew I knew how to achieve it so they put their trust in me. They believed me when I said we can and we will. I had support from them, I knew they had my back in order to succeed.

Essentially, that kind of helped me forget about what happened. I needed to get back to my business. Those people believed in me and relied on me therefore I couldn't let them down.

"Miss Kensington, I think your coffee is not your usual order and I've tried to make sure it was, the queue was quite big and so I didn't wish to keep the others up. I can go and get you another one from a different place if you wish..." the new assistant rambled.

I did this with Danielle, too. Sent her to get me coffee and a bagel or whatever. Just to test how they would deal with the basic task, something so expected and almost cliché. Obviously, their jobs were not to get me coffee whenever I ordered them to but more so to keep the life going around the building. However, seeing their reactions to something like this actually does help me see how they are going to perform in the future.

"Hmm, it's a little bitter," I commented as I tasted the drink. "It's fine, however. I'm feeling kind of bitter right now."

"Oh, I'm- I'm so sorry to hear that," he explained. Right. He was a guy. It seemed different and new to hire a guy assistant. I already had Danielle and I thought she would work well with him. When he walked in on the day of the interviews, he stood out.

"That's fine, don't worry about it," I commented. "Now, I'd like you to sit down and we shall go through some things you should know."

"Of course," he nodded.

"As you know, the reason why I looked for another assistant was so that I would have enough people working. Recruiting from my already existing team was not an option, I needed someone new and fresh. With you having completed a master's degree quite recently, you know your stuff, don't you?"

"Yes, I would like to think so, Miss Kensington," he replied.

"Very well. I'm sure you know Miss Jones has been my official-non-official EA, with you arriving, however, she's officially one. Which means everything she has done for me as PA, will be your duties and responsibilities from now on."

"Right. What does this entail?"

"Basically, you are going to be taking phone calls, organising and booking any travel, accommodation and venues as well as being responsible for any diary management and making sure no important deadlines or meetings will be overlooked. Your knowledge of my company impressed me greatly, one of the main reasons why you have gotten the role was due to this. This also made me believe you would be excellent for this role and for my company," I explained as he listened. "Sure, you may not have a ton of experience but that is something you will be able to gain whilst working for me."

"That is correct, I haven't had the chance to do many of these jobs before... not for a company as well-built and known as Kensington and Co., anyway."

"That is perfectly fine. Your knowledge is there, your ambition and passion to succeed is there, your education is there. You have so much of what I need, it is a pleasure to have you here."

"Thank you so much! It is a pleasure to work for you. I am tempted to do my best at what I need to."

"Mhm, I don't doubt that for a second," I nodded with a slight smirk. "Now, I'm sure you are aware of what Miss Jones is going to be doing, right?"

"A refresher would be greatly appreciated, if possible."

"Miss Jones has always been involved within the business therefore this role for her was long overdue if I am being honest. She is going to be your boss before me, one contact you can go to should you need any help. Although, do not make too many visits to her if not necessary. As said before, she is now the official EA, meaning she is already neck deep in projects. Much like yourself, she has to be two steps ahead of everything but whilst your role is more to manage problems as they rise, she would report things directly to me whilst dealing with more company related issues."

"Right," he nodded. "Since this role is something completely new to me, will I receive any further training?"

"I don't believe it is necessary," I replied. "I understand why you may feel like there is more for you to do, you have had the best trainer – Miss Jones herself. There couldn't have been anyone else better for you to learn from and shadow for a week and continue to do so for an additional seven days."

"She's an amazing mentor, I feel so grateful for all that she has done for me," he agreed and I felt proud. Danielle was simply amazing. I kind of wished she was my friend. "Also, with that training, it felt slightly strange when I was asked to get you coffee."

"It was a simple task which you have completed. You did as you were told and although your business language does need some improving, especially your rambling that you have presented before, I believe that will happen overtime."

"Yes, I would hope so," he nodded.

"Fabulous," I clapped my hands as I picked up my coffee and swallowed the cold drink. "You know your break times, you know your start and finish times and your days off, correct?"

"Yes, Miss Kensington."

"Wonderful," I said. "Should you need any help at all, like I said, feel free to contact Miss Jones but don't bother her too much."

"Wouldn't dare dream of it," he chuckled.

"Now, there is a meeting in half an hour. Miss Jones will be taking over for me and I want you there with her," I stated. "It will give you an insight to what you will be doing with me most of the time."

"Alright, okay. I'm excited for this," he told me.

"Fantastic. She's in her office, down the hall. I'm sure she has some things for you to prepare for the meeting."

"Okay. Thank you."

"Not a problem," I smiled. "Thanks for the coffee and good luck for your first meeting I sadly will not attend."

"Thank you, Miss Kensington."

"Like I said, not a problem."

Once he was out of my office, I saved everything on my computer and for the first time in forever, I decided to leave in time. It was only half four but it best bloody could have been ten o'clock. My body was knackered, my brain just didn't seem to work and I was suddenly really hungry.

I called Miss Jones to let her know I was leaving for the day and she was in charge. Of the business. Of the employees. It wasn't the first time it happened, not that it did a lot of the time. Usually, I would stay the latest yet still be here the earliest. It made no sense.

After I was in my Lamborghini, I decided to go to the Tesco's that was closest. I had an empty fridge at home and I really craved something sweet. The yogurts didn't really take my fancy but the profiteroles did look fucking amazing.

I walked by the last aisle and grabbed a bottle of red wine, acting like I didn't have one of those wine stands filled with my favourite beverage ever. After I paid, it wasn't too long to get home. I just avoided the traffic which was nice.

After my hands were washed in the kitchen sink, I sat down on the couch near my massive windows with my dessert and wine. I kicked my heels off and got comfy to eat and watch the city go by. Living in the city centre was kind of fun. Not that I experienced much of it since I was always cooped up in my office or in my bed.

The sweetness of the profiteroles melted all over my tongue and filled my empty stomach. I was too tired, too hungry, too stressed. There was so much wrong with me and so much wrong with this world. I genuinely had no idea where the fuck to start to sort things out.

I guess starting with myself wouldn't have been a bad idea. But did I have time?

Nope.

Styles CEO: hey. I hope you're okay. I'm sorry about earlier today, again. Could I come pick you up from work to talk? Or would it be too early? Please, let me know. I don't want you to go to bed tonight feeling upset. H. X

I scoffed as my eyes ran over the text message. I didn't reply because one of my hands held my wine glass and the other had chocolatey fingers. The screen eventually blacked out again and I was left with the silence that filled my penthouse.

"Hmm, maybe I need a new car," I mumbled to myself as I soaked my finger in the chocolate that dripped off of the profiteroles then sucked it off of my fingers. I picked up another ball filled with cream then bit into it just as my phone went off.

I groaned and rolled my eyes then continued to chew on the sweet food. When the ringing finally stopped, I smirked and sipped on my wine a little.

I definitely need a new car.

Or do I?

Yes. I do. A Maserati.

Ugh. A Maserati would be hot as fuck.

Probably a black one. I have a white and red car already and although a red Mas would be fucking stunning, the black one would just radiate power. And I want that.

Smirking, I walked back to my bag that I left in the kitchen and sat at the kitchen island to find my baby. I went straight onto their website then through their models. I wanted a sport car, I only had myself to drive around in it, anyway.

"GranTurismo MC. Oh, yes," I laughed to myself as I scrolled down the page, my other hand preoccupied by my wine glass. The neck of the glass was between my fingers and the cup part of it laid against my palm as I tilted it and took a sip. "White. Damn, that's fit," I talked to myself as I went through all of the colours for the exterior and interior.

But black. It had to be black. I needed it to be black. And the tan coloured leather. Mhm.

"I think I do," I mumbled.

Then I clicked on the finish and review option which brought up the price. The wine went down the wrong hole when I saw how it cost over a hundred and twenty thousand pounds.

"Alright, bitch, let's call this a Christmas present from me to me, shall we?" I continued talking to myself as I saved the page to my favourites and then opened YouTube and typed in the name of the car. A ton of videos popped up but I ended up clicking the one that attracted my attention the most.

I liked to do research on cars before I actually bought them. It also made me want the car more than I already did so that was good too, I guess. I wasn't one to buy shit for the fun of it.

Or maybe I was.

But I only had one life, right?

Right.

So, I am getting that Maserati.

• • •

a.n.
i swear the coming chapters are gonna be so good ohmygod

also ik the story is not exactly focusing on harry being a ceo but more so renleigh being one and i kind of said it'd be a harry ceo fic, i guess i changed my mind?? like at the start, i really did want an arsehole ceo harry but then i thought about it and i realised there are too many of those already so instead i gave you's a nice ceo harry who has arsehole tendencies but ren is more likely to be a bitch than him hehehe

mkay i'm gonna stop rambling pls lmk how u liked the chapter and don't forget to vote and comment 😙