I kept thinking about how Gerard had shoved me like that. He seemed so scared and upset. Something clearly happened with his guidance counselor but I couldn't figure out what.

I walked home from school at the end of the day. I glanced over at Gerard's house as I bit my lip. I shouldn't bother him right now, I should just leave him be. He's been going through something recently and I just wanted him to feel better.

In my bedroom I looked out the window into Gerard's room. I saw his hoodie tossed onto the bed but other than that there was no sign of him. He must've gone downstairs to eat and watch tv or something like that. I sighed as I sat on my bed, running my fingers through my hair.

After an hour or two I got up, deciding to go to Gerard's house when I hadn't heard from him yet. I walked inside his front door and saw a half empty can of pop on the table next to a notepad. I picked up the pad and immediately noticed Gerard's handwriting.

I'm sorry, Frank.

I love you but I just can't do it anymore. I'm sorry that our relationship turned to such shit but it was really great while it lasted.

Remember when you would hold me in your arms all night while I cried? And remember when you made me my very own homecoming dance? Or remember at the cabin when I laid down in the snow and made a snow angel and you laid beside me and kissed me? I loved the way your hand felt in mine, holding on tight like you were my grasp to happiness. I loved the way you smiled and your pretty green eyes. I loved the way your lips were always so soft and gently against mine. You were always there for me when I was just always fucking shit up. I know I ruined your life, ruined your senior year with all my constant whining and complaining. I was always just being dumb and irritating. I wish I could take that back so you didn't hate me as much as you do, you were growing to resent me.

And to Jamia, you were always my best friend and you always will be. I love you so much, you're my best friend in the whole world. You stayed by my side no matter what. You will always be my most best friend in the whole world. You're gonna be happy with Andy, I know that. He's so perfect. You two are going to get married and grow old with a bunch of little kids running around.

That's what you're gonna do too, Frank. You're gonna forget about me. We were never going to last, there is no such thing as fate. We were never going to get married and live happily ever after. You were always going to end up breaking up with me and you were gonna fall in love with someone else. I was never that important. I'm insignificant.

Goodbye, Frank.

Goodbye, Jamia.

I love you both.

-Gerard

I felt my heart stop as I dropped the note, looking around. It seemed so empty and quiet here.

"Gerard!" I shouted.

I ran upstairs, looking into his empty bedroom. I ran to the bathroom, throwing open the door. I screamed at the sight in front of me, Gee laid limp in the tub, blood covering his body.

"No! No!" I sobbed.

I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him out of the tub. I dragged him out onto the tile floor and sobbed as I looked at the deep, jagged vertical cuts going down both his wrists. I grabbed his shirt, tying it around his right wrist. I took off my own t-shirt and wrapped it around his other wrist. I grabbed my phone, calling an ambulance.

"I-I need help!" I sobbed. "M-my boyfriend--"

I cut myself off as I sobbed, cradling Gerard in my arms.

"Sir, what happened to your boyfriend?" The person asked.

"H-He--oh god," I sobbed. "Please, I need help."

I gave them the address before hanging up, sobbing as I looked down at Gerard. He wasn't breathing and I sobbed. I set him on the ground, starting to perform CPR on him. Oh god I hope I was doing this right, I only remember it from my freshman health class.

"Please, Baby, please," I sobbed.

I sniffled, leaning down to give him a soft kiss.

"B-Baby," I whimpered. "I-I love you."

Paramedics rushed in and I looked up at them desperately. They quieted down as the looked at the scene of me on the ground with my bloody, dead boyfriend, the shower and tub filled with blood. They came in with a stretcher and a body bag.

"I'm sorry," one of them whispered.

I watched as they zipped Gerard up in the body bag and carried him away. I sobbed, following them out where there was an ambulance and two police cars with their lights on but no sirens. People around us were going outside to see what happened, most of them gasping when they saw a body bag.

"Frank?" My mom asked, running over to me.

I sobbed, falling into her arms.

"Frankie, Frankie, what happened? What's going on?" She asked.

"G-Gerard, h-he killed himself," I whimpered.

"O-Oh my god," she muttered.

She took me into our house, holding me tight in her arms until I cried myself to sleep. My world felt as though it were completely falling apart, every inch of my life turning around as I felt an emptiness inside of me. My love, my one and only love was gone and now I had nothing.

I walked across the little mini stage a few weeks later, taking the diploma from my principal's hand. I made my way back to my seat, looking behind me to where Jamia was sitting in the row behind me. She gave me a sad smile, her eyes watering. I reached back, giving her hand a soft squeeze before it was her turn to go up and get her diploma. The ceremony went by rather boringly until the end.

"We should all just take a moment of silence for one of our fellow students who should have been here joining this graduating class," the principal said. "Gerard Way was just seventeen years old and what happened to him was devastating."

They projected a picture of Gerard onto the screen and I frowned. It was just one of those school yearbook pictures from this year. He looked so sad in it.

"Honestly, it's so sad what happened to him," some girl in front of me whispered.

"I know, why would he do something like this?" Her friend said. "There's no reason for him to kill himself, life isn't that bad."

"Shut your fucking mouth," I snapped, standing up as everyone in the room turned to face me. "You don't know what it's fucking like! I loved him! You all act sympathetic but every single one of you tortured him every single day! You made his life miserable! It's because of you bitches that he did this to himself!"

"Frank, calm down," the principal said.

"No!" I screamed. "You didn't even fucking care about him! You're the one who told him that therapy is for girls! You told him that he didn't matter! That he wasn't important! Just two weeks before he killed himself you told him that! You never cared about him! We came to you for help and you just ignored him!"

People stayed silent, all staring at me.

"And you two," I said, going back to the row of students where Brendon and Pete were at near the back, my eyes glancing to the empty seat next to Pete where Gerard should've been sat due to the alphabetical order. "You two made his life fucking hell! You beat him over and over again every fucking day calling him a faggot until he fucking killed himself!"

"Who gives a shit?" Pete asked.

"I loved him!" I screamed.

I jumped at him, punching him in the jaw. My dad hurried over and pulled me off him as I sobbed, my graduation cap falling on the ground as he dragged me out while I screamed. I just screamed and screamed and didn't stop until I was passed out in the hallway in my dad's arms. The inside of my body tearing up, every inch of my heart aching as I missed Gerard with every being of my soul.