Last chapter

And the record won't stop skipping
And the lies just won't stop slipping
And besides my reputation's on the line
We can fake it for the airways
Force our smiles, Baby, half dead
From comparing myself to everyone else around me
Please put the doctor on the phone cause I'm not making any sense
Blame everyone but me for this mess
And my back has been breaking from this heavy heart
We never seemed so far
I'm hopelessly hopeful, you're just hopeless enough
But we never had it at all

~~

Frank walked in giving me a soft kiss.

"How are you feeling, Beautiful?" He asked.

I shrugged and he smiled.

"You ready to go back to school?" He asked.

"No," I said.

"Baby, it's been two weeks already," he said. "It's the end of the year, you have to go."

I sniffled, shaking my head.

"Come on, only a few more weeks and then you're done, completely and one hundred percent done," he said.

I nodded my head and he held my hand, helping me stand up. Frank pulled a shirt over my head gently and I shook my head.

"I-I need a hoodie," I said.

"It's pretty warm out," he said.

I looked down at my wrists and he nodded, getting me a hoodie to go over my t-shirt. He got me into a pair of jeans got my shoes on me. I put on a pair of sunglasses as we walked outside. The light still irritated me a bit so I just wore sunglasses. Frank handed me a piece of the chocolate bar and I took a small bite.

"I feel sick, I think we should just go home," I said.

"You're gonna be okay, only a few more weeks," he said.

"Few more weeks," I mumbled.

Frank nodded and held my hand. We got to school and I bit my lip nervously. Thankfully no one seemed to be around. I got to first hour and sighed as I sat down in my seat next to Frank. Five minutes into class and a worker walked in.

"Gerard Way, your guidance counselor would like to see you," she said.

I looked at Frank nervously and he smiled.

"They're probably just gonna give you some of the work you missed," Frank said.

I nodded and followed the lady to the office. I sat down in front of my guidance counselor and she smiled.

"How are you feeling Gerard?" She asked.

"Better," I replied quietly.

"That's good," she said. "I tell you, when I heard someone actually got mugged here I would not believe it. I know Jersey isn't necessarily the safest state but our town is rather quaint and nice. And then I heard it was You it happened to and oh my heart just shattered for you. And a bottle! I heard you're more likely to be killed with a bottle than to survive."

I nodded softly. Guess I was just one of the unlucky ones to survive.

"I sent you flowers in the hospital, did you get them?" She asked.

"Yes, I did, thank you," I said.

She was in fact the only person to care about my situation other than Frank, Patrick, Ms. Iero And Jamia.

"I was gonna send you some chocolates or something but I wasn't sure what you liked and then I wasn't even sure if you were allowed to be eating chocolate, I don't know much about concussions," she said. "I just don't know how you did it, I think that you're so brave. You just picked yourself up and carried yourself on back home. I don't think I would ever have that kind of courage or strength."

I nodded my head, playing with the sleeve of my shirt.

"I am so sorry that all of that happened to you," she said. "It must have been traumatizing to go through what you did. And they still haven't caught the guy! That man is still out there and he needs to be caught, he probably intended to kill you. But he's still out there lurking around and he can hurt someone else. What did he take from you?"

"Oh, j-just some money," I lied. "I didn't have much of anything on me at the time."

"Oh well at least that's good that they didn't take too much," she said. "I can't believe something like that actually happened in a town like this. I'm so sorry, no one should have to experience that."

I nodded my head, looking down at my lap.

"And I'm always here if you need to talk to me about anything," she said. "I mean, that's kind of my job but I want to help you and I want to help all the students in the school."

"Thank you," I said quietly.

"Now, I want to talk to you about something," she said. "I'm sorry but you won't be able to graduate with the rest of the senior class."

I felt my heart stopped as I looked at her.

"I-I can't graduate?" I whimpered. "I'm gonna be a super senior?"

"You don't have enough credits to graduate," she said. "You've missed too much school."

"But I had a concussion, I was mugged, I-I wasn't allowed to go to school," I said.

"Discluding these past two weeks," she said. "You've missed too many classes and I'm sorry but you've failed three of them, you're going to have to return next year to repeat senior year."

The world around me seemed to shatter, the hopelessness filling me from the inside out. I leaned back in defeat, tears pricking my eyes. This was supposed to be it. I only had a few more weeks and then I was going to be done with this shit hole and Frank and I were going to move away together.

"I'm so sorry," she said quietly. "But you only need some second semester credits so next year you can actually graduate a semester early and just do the ceremony with the rest in the spring."

I shook my head, crying quietly.

"I'm sorry, I know you were excited to graduate," she said. "But you see, now you can have more time to think about colleges. Where were you thinking of going? What do you wanna major in?"

I shook my head, my breath picking up as I sobbed. I hurried out of the room and into the hallway when the bell rang. Frank found me and held me close.

"Baby, Baby, what's wrong?" Frank asked.

"Look, it's the faggy boys," Brendon said.

I sobbed as he shoved me against the locker.

"Stop fucking touching him!" Frank shouted, shoving Brendon back for me. Can't you tell he's Fucking hurt already?"

"Look, it's the little boyfriend coming to your defense," Pete said.

"He's not my boyfriend!" I shouted, shoving Frank.

Frank fell to the ground, looking up at me with pained eyes.

"Gerard," he said softly.

"Just fuck off!" I screamed.

Everyone was watching now as I turned, running out of the school. My head was killing me and I was a bit nauseous as I hurried into me Home. I ran upstairs, curling up in my bed as I sobbed heavily, my whole body shaking.

I sniffled as I went downstairs, finding a can of pop. I looked at the mail and sighed. There were letters from colleges Frank had helped me apply to. I thought that maybe I can actually go to college, I can try and I can be happy.

Rejections from every college.

I grabbed a notepad, sitting down at the table. I sniffled, drinking the pop as I wrote. Eventually I just put my head down on the table and took a nap when I was finished.

When I woke up I saw that school was just about ending, Frank must be just getting home right about now.

I left my can Where it was and went upstairs. I tossed my hoodie into my bedroom before going to the bathroom. I filled the tub with water, pulling off my shirt and pants. I looked in the mirror, sniffling as I ran my hands through my hair. My jaw was still slightly bruised and I looked so pale. There were bags under my eyes and my hair hasn't been washed in nearly three weeks now.

I reached into the cupboard, grabbing my little shiny razor.

I closed my eyes, sitting down in the tub as I sobbed. There was nothing now, nothing for me. I couldn't just keep doing this anymore. I can't. It's too much.

Jamia has a new boyfriend now and she isn't even paying attention to me. She doesn't care about me, she doesn't need me. She had someone else now and soon they were gonna fall in love and get married and move away. Maybe I would be invited to the wedding but that would be the only time I would see them. She didn't need me, I wasn't important to her. She's already starting to forget about me.

Frank and I aren't going to make it anyways. It's just gone to shit between us. It was distant and cold and uncomfortable. The kiss with Patrick only made it worse. Frank tries to pretend that everything is okay and happy but it isn't. He only pretends to keep me happy because he's too scared of hurting me. All he ever does is walk on eggshells around me.

I just...I just can't do it anymore. It's too much, too much. I can't wake up everyday to this shitty life. I can't do it anymore. It was as though a million weights were placed on my shoulders, keeping me down and keeping the happiness away until I was just drowning. I was drowning and I couldn't do anything about it.

Well, there is one thing I can do about it.

I can just end it now.

I sniffled as I turned the razor over between my fingers. The light glinted off of it and I sniffled. Water from the faucet dripped softly, little ripples moving on the surface of the water. Things almost seemed to be frozen now as I was left here all alone.

I almost expected Frank to come in and save me like he always seems to do. But now he wasn't and I was all alone. Frank didn't care. He would rather I kill myself just so he doesn't have to take care of me all the time anymore.

I pressed the razor against my pale wrist, letting out a small squeak of pain as it broke through my skin. I gasped, cutting vertically down my left wrist. Blood spurted out mixing in with the water and dripping down the white tub in dark red streaks. I switched hands with the razor, crying as I cut down my other wrist.

I dropped the razor down so it floated on the surface of the water. I cried silently, my head tipping back against the tile wall of the shower. My wrists rested up on the rims of the tub, blood dripping down into water. I closed my eyes, feeling the life dripping out of my body. I don't know how long it was, it felt like a million years but two seconds at the same time. It was probably only fifteen minutes before I passed out, my life leaving this earth.