"i didn't mean for you to find out this way."

luke's jaw clenched, the grocery bag she'd taken from him long forgotten on the floor.

"oh yeah?" he spat bitterly. "then how did you mean for me to find out? if you even wanted me to."

noelle grimaced at his tone, accepting the fact that she deserved this treatment and that there was no way to put the conversation off anymore.

"i was going to wait until we got back to queensdale to tell you," she confessed.

"and then you decided to tell ashton before me? what's the logic in that, noelle?" he nearly yelled. "i love you, goddammit. i deserve to know this shit before anybody else!"

she bit her lip as angry and dejected tears gathered in her eyes. never before had she felt so ashamed of herself. the world felt like it was spinning off it's axis.

"i'm sorry," she sobbed, her hand clamping onto her mouth as soon as it escaped. "my mom called to yell at me for leaving and ashton overheard what we said. i'm sorry. i'm so sorry."

"how long?" luke asked, voice low. "how long have you been planning to leave?"

"i haven't been plan-"

"just tell me!"

more sobs flew out of her mouth as she answered, the guilt taking over her system.

"a week? maybe two?" luke could barely understand her through her crying. "my mom and dad are fed up with my 'attitude', so they're making us leave queensdale before school starts in two weeks."

luke's face transitioned from anger to despair in a millisecond, only sending noelle into more turmoil. this wasn't easy by any means and the fact that it all had to unravel like this just made things so much worse for both of them.

"why?" he breathed out. "why would you hide this from me?"

"because you were doing so well," she whimpered. "you were finally happy and you forgave yourself and you were alive. i couldn't ruin all that."

"that was all possible because of you! when you leave, how do you expect me to cope? do you honestly expect me to move on? that is so selfish of you, you know that?"

all noelle could do was nod. it was selfish of her to prolong all of this just for the sake of making sure he didn't fall back into his depression. she obviously played a huge part in his life and to suddenly remove herself without warning? selfish.

"i don't know what to do anymore," he ran his hand through his hair roughly. "is there anything else you've been keeping from me?"

"luke, of course not. please believe me when i say that i kept this a secret for your benefit," she pleaded.

"my benefit?" luke's eyes narrowed. "how does this benefit me? you're leaving for fuck's sake! nothing about that is beneficial, no matter how long you keep it from me!"

then, with his chest heaving and his eyes red, he opened the door and left the house. it wasn't the loud bang of the door or the sound of ashton's soothing voice that resonated in her head.

it was luke's last mumbled words as he left her with fresh tears staining her face and her heart ripped out of her chest.

"i can't do this anymore."

-

noelle was surprised when she found herself able to fall asleep. she wasn't surprised, however, when she found that luke was not beside her when she woke up.

it's not like he'd want come back, she figured, not after that argument. hell, she didn't blame him. what happened was completely unfair and he had every right to be angry.

she forced herself to get out of bed, get ready, and go downstairs to eat breakfast, faking a smile as she greeted ashton's family. only the teenage irwin was able to see through her façade, so he squeezed her hand under the table in support.

"where's luke? is he still asleep?" his mother asked, oblivious to noelle's shoulders stiffening.

"he went to visit a friend," ashton covered for her. "said he'd be back in the afternoon."

much to noelle's relief, she accepted the answer and the rest of breakfast was eaten without mentioning luke again. once the rest of his family cleared out, ashton took his friend by the hand and brought her into his room so that they could talk.

reluctantly, she sat on his bed beside him and the two merely sat beside each other, the air still. she wasn't sure why he was doing this, but it did feel somewhat comforting to be in the presence of another person.

"has your mother tried to contact you since yesterday?" he inquired.

noelle fought the strange urge to snort aloud. out of all the questions he could've asked, he asked about her mother. at least he was trying.

"no," she sighed. "she basically said everything she had to yesterday, so..."

"she seemed pretty mad. is everything going to be okay when you get home?"

the brunette shrugged, wincing a bit as she remembered her mother's harsh words of 'you are a disappointment to this family' and 'as soon as you get back home, we're gone from this place'.

"sorry," ash apologized quickly. "that was a stupid question."

a quick breath of air - that could've classified as a small laugh - was the only response she had. she couldn't lie and say it wasn't stupid. because, well, it was.

"what about-"

"luke?" she finished sharply. "of course not. why would he? he said it himself, he can't do this - do us - anymore. he hates me."

"noelle, he doesn't hate you," he argued weakly. "you know that he loves you. he's just confused right now, that's all. there's so much to take in and you know just as well as i do that he doesn't deal with loss well."

"it's just, i'm not sure what he wants from me," she whined softly. "he won't even let me explain what's going on in full detail. he's not listening."

"he wants time. just give him some and he'll listen. he will."

she didn't answer, eyebrows furrowed in skepticism. the last time luke needed time, he took nearly two weeks. how much time would he need now?

"c'mon, let's take a walk," ashton stood and held out his hands to hoist her to her feet. 

"what? why?" she stared at his hands curiously as he rolled his eyes and grabbed hers, ignoring her groan of protest.

"you need air and you haven't seen much of brooklyn yet. consider me your tour guide for the day!"

he sounded so jubilant that all arguments she had died in her throat as he brought her to her feet and literally pulled her out of the house with him.

-

dare she say it, noelle had a good time. ashton was sweet and had an amazing sense of humor that took her mind off of everything that was going wrong.

brooklyn itself was not bad. the architecture of the buildings intrigued her and the entire place just seemed so bright.

"i moved away for a few years," ashton continued his life story, which noelle didn't mind much. "but i like to think i know this place pretty well."

"you certainly do," she agreed with a giggle. "except for the fact that we got lost almost three times in the past five hours."

he huffed at her with a fake hurt expression. "don't be rude, elle. we weren't lost. we were exploring."

"if exploring means having to buying a map of the town for directions," she held up said map for emphasis, "then i think we explored the place pretty damn well. wouldn't you agree?"

"you are five feet of pure evil," he teased. 

"hey!" she kicked his leg, causing him to stumble. "i'm small but i have a big personality."

"you also have really big feet," ashton snickered as her face reddened. "and-"

his voice died as they passed the cemetery. he pointed shakily towards luke's car parked nearby. sharing a look, the pair hurried through the gates and headed immediately towards the hemmings' graves. sure enough, there was luke, sleeping soundly on the grass.

he looked pale and was shivering like crazy, despite the warm weather, which was probably due to the fact that he was there all night clad only in jeans and a t-shirt.

noelle hurried up to him and began to feel his face to make sure his temperature was normal. his skin was clammy, but otherwise, he felt fine. she hoped. gently smacking his face, she tried to wake the tall boy up, worry evident in her stature.

"luke, baby," she slapped him lightly on the cheek and he stirred gently. "you have to get up now."

"hnnnnn," luke groaned in response, ignoring her voice.

"hold on," ashton knelt on the other side of him and pried luke's car keys from his pocket before wrapping an arm under his armpit to help him stand.

noelle wrapped her arm around his waist and, together, the two teens helped him groggily stumble towards his car. they barely managed to get him in the back seat, but when they did, ashton headed straight for the house.

the entire car ride, noelle kept staring through the mirror at luke's pallid skin. he sniffled and coughed every so often and that's when she was sure that he was getting sick. all she could do was hope it wasn't too bad.

-

getting luke up the stairs proved to be a million times harder than she had originally thought. and she had thought that it would be extremely difficult.

limbs were all over the place by the time they reached the guest room and they were too relieved when they got luke onto the bed, his quivering body tucked tightly into the covers.

sweat was beading on all three teenagers' foreheads, but only two were sweating because of physical activity. whatever luke was coming down with seemed to be getting worse by the second.

"i'll get some medicine from the store. you stay here and watch him," ashton instructed and she complied without a word.

while she waited for ashton, she ran her hand through luke's hair, watching as his face calmed in his sleep as she did so. the bags under his eyes were prominent - scarily so - but his serene expression did ease her worries a bit.

"noelle?" his voice startled her out of her thoughts. his eyes opened slightly, squinting as the fading sunlight hit his face. "is that you?"

"hey," she greeted lightly. "how are you feeling?"

"stupid," luke croaked. "i shouldn't have said what i said. you just mean so much to me and-"

"it's okay. you were right. everything you said was right," she pressed a kiss to his lips.

"ew. don't kiss me, you'll get sick," he made a face and she couldn't help but laugh.

"i don't mind getting sick. i'd get all the sicknesses in the world if it meant being able to kiss you."

a small smile graced his tired face, but was ruined by a rasping cough coming from his throat. silence filled the room as his fit ended, the nice kind, but she decided to ask about something that was bothering her.

"did you mean what you said?" he gave her a questioning look. "about not being able to do this anymore?"

automatically, his face softened and he looked even more tired than ever. "of course not. i was just angry and i don't think i could ever not be with you. one day my heart will stop, but my love for you won't."

"even when i'm gone?" noelle asked, fear weaving into her voice.

"especially when you're gone."

+

ITS LONG I THINK AND IDK I LIKE IT I GUESS IT'S CUTE LOL

NEXT CHAPTER IS THE LAST, SADLY TO SAY. BUT THE SEQUEL IS GONNA BE PRETTY COOL SO DON'T YOU WORRY :-)

ALRIGHT SO LET ME ADDRESS THE TOPIC OF CALUM'S NUDES BC I DON'T KNOW BUT PEOPLE NEED TO LEAVE THE POOR BOY ALONE

IT'S KIND OF SEXUAL HARRASSMENT THE WAY FANS HAVE BEEN TALKING ABOUT HIM AND HIS MAN PARTS LIKE HE'S NOT A REAL PERSON W/ REAL FEELINGS

DON'T BE ALL LIKE "OH CALUM ILY AND UR WEEWEE CAN U PLS FOLLOW ME"

that's just plain rude and embarrassing for both you and him. don't do it.

but i'm not gonna lie i need a bible after seeing it bc wow idk guys so many conflictin feelings and morals

QUESTION OF THE DAY: thoughts on the whole nudes thing? i'm really curious!