Chapter 35
Chance

"Ma'am, kailangan na po nating mag-grocery. Kunti nalang po ang stock ng mga pagkain." sabi sa akin ng aming katulong habang kumakain kami ng breakfast.

Last two weeks mula nang huli ko silang pinag-grocery. Kailangan na nga sigurong mamili ng mga pagkain lalo na ang mga kadalasang ginagamit na rekados pangluto.

"I can buy the grocery if you want." bigla namang pag-aako ni Gael ng gawain.

"Sasama ako kay Kuya!" agad namang sabi ni Ida at kumapit sa braso ni Gael. "Please, Blair. Hayaan mo muna akong makasama si Kuya for now. Hindi ko naman siya aagawin sa'yo dahil kapatid ko siya." paglilinaw sa akin ni Ida.

I chuckled at her. "Oo na!" sabi ko nalang.

Nilingon ko ang aming katulong upang paglistahin siya ng mga kailangang bilin na groceries.

I know that Gael and Ida need time for each other. Ilang taon din silang pinaglayo na magkapatid. It's time for them to spend time together. Alam ko rin na gusto pa siguro nilang makilala ang isa't-isa. Not as friends, but as siblings.

"Pareham ako nito ah?" pagpapaalam sa akin ni Ida at itinaas ang hawak niyang maong dress ko.

Hindi ko 'yon madalas sinusuot kaya naman agad akong tumango.

"Kung gusto mo, sa'yo na 'yan." sabi ko sa kaniya.

"Hmm... Or maybe I should just buy the same style and brand. Para may couple dress tayong dalawa!" sabi niya at mukhang na-eexcite sa kaniyang iniisip.

Hinayaan ko siyang isuot ang dress ko at tinignan ang cellphone ko na punong-puno ng missed calls galing kay Isaiah. He also sent a text message if I know where Ida is pero hindi ko siya nireplyan dahil iyon ang gusto ni Ida.

"I can't believe it, Blair. Matutupad pa rin pala ang pangarap nating dalawa." bigla niyang sabi.

Nilingon ko naman siya na ngayo'y nakangiti sa harap ng vanity cabinet habang tinitignan ang suot-suot niyang dress.

"You're in love with my brother." she said and turned to me with a smile. "I mean, he may not be my full-blooded brother but he is still my brother. At kapag kinasal kayong dalawa, you still be my sister. Magiging magkapatid pa rin tayong dalawa."

Natawa naman ako't napailing nalang sa sinasabi ni Ida. She's always thinking in advance. Lagi niyang tinitignan ang mangyayari sa kasalukuyan.

I don't think I can think like her. I don't want to think the future yet. I don't want to know what's ahead of me. It scares me a lot... I might not like what's going to happen in time or I may also like it. Instead of pressuring myself to make my future perfect, I'm just going to live my present life the way I want to live it with no regrets in the future. At least, even if I'm unfortunate in the coming years, I was happy and fortunate before.

I want to keep Gael so much. I've never liked anyone as much as I like him. The intense feeling that I have for him is so fierce. Natatakot din ako sa kung ano ang pwedeng magawa ng nararamdaman ko para sa kaniya.

If I can keep him forever then I will, but if destiny won't permit it, I hope I'll be able to go against it.

"We will be back after lunch." sabi naman ni Gael sa akin nang ihatid ko sila ni Ida sa kaniyang sasakyan.

Agad nang pumasok si Ida sa sasakyan ni Gael nang makabeso siya sa aking pisngi.

"Just take your time." I told him and smile. "Kahit mamasyal muna kayo sa mall, I don't mind. You should treat your sister. Alam kong gusto mo rin siyang makasama ng matagal. And besides, may mga kailangan pa akong gawin dito sa bahay kaya kahit matagalan kayo, okay lang."

Gael smiled and came closer to give me a kiss on my forehead.

"Don't miss me that much. Sandali lang kami mawawala." bulong niya sa akin.

I chuckled and slightly pushed him away from me.

"Umalis na kayo. Para kahit matagal kayo, maaga pa rin kayong makakabalik." sabi ko nalang.

He smiled so widely and nodded before giving me another kiss. This time, it's a kiss on my cheek.

"Hoy! Huwag nga kayong ganiyan. Naiinggit na ako!"

Humagalpak kami sa kakatawa ni Gael nang biglang nagreklamo si Ida at binusinahan pa kami ni Gael. Nilingon namin siya at nakabusangot na ang kaniyang mukha ngunit alam naming nagbibiro lamang 'yan.

"My sister's getting angry now. I have to go." muli niyang pagpapaalam.

"Oo na! Mag-iingat kayo ah! Ingatan mo ang best friend ko. Kapag may masamang nangyari diyan, nako! Makakatikim ka sa akin." sabi ko at pinakita sa kaniya ang kamao ko.

Tinawanan niya lamang ako saka sumakay sa driver's seat. Agad namang napangiti si Ida nang pumasok na ang kapatid saka kumaway sa akin bilang paalam.

I just smiled and also waved at her.

Umugong na ang makina ng sasakyan nang paandarin iyon ni Gael. He gave me one last flying kiss before he maneuvered his car and drove away.

I was about to go inside the house when my phone suddenly rang. I got my phone from my pocket and saw that Isaiah's calling me again.

Kinagat ko ang aking pang-ibabang labi habang tinitignan ang kaniyang pagtawag at pinapakinggan ang paulit-ulit na pagtunog ng aking ringtone.

Kasabay nang pagkawala ng tawag ay ang paghinto ng pamilyar na sasakyan sa aking harapan. Agad bumukas ang pintuan at bumungad sa akin si Isaiah na hawak-hawak ang kaniyang cellphone.

Lumipad ang kaniyang tingin sa hawak kong cellphone at nakita ko siyang nagtiim-bagang.

"Can we talk, Blair?" he asked.

Napabuntong hininga ako. "Pasok ka sa loob." sabi ko nalang at saka tuluyan nang pumasok sa loob ng bahay.

Pinanood ko ang paglapag ng katulong namin nang juice sa harap namin ni Isaiah at pati na rin ng ibang makakain na tinapay.

"Thanks." nginitian ni Isaiah ang aming katulong upang magpasalamat habang ako'y diretsong nakatingin lamang sa kaniya.

Nang makaalis naman katulong ay agad niya akong nilingon. Nawala ang kaniyang ngiti at naging seryoso ang kaniyang aura.

"What brings you here?" malamig kong pagtanong sa kaniya kahit marami nang naglalaro sa isipan ko na mga dahilan.

Huminga naman siya ng malalim at bahagyang lumambot ang kaniyang ekspresyon.

"I've been calling you last night." he said. "But you're not answering your phone. I even texted you but you didn't reply."

"Alam ko." sabi ko nalang.

"Blair, I didn't call you to talk about us. Tinawagan kita dahil nag-aalala ako kay Ida. She left our house and her phone's dead. Hindi namin siya ma-contact at alalang-alala si Mommy sa kaniya." he explained. "You should've at least told us where she is. Alam kong alam mo at alam kong ikaw lang ang matatakbuhan ni Ida."

"Sana kasi inisip mo muna ang mga posibleng mangyari bago mo ginawa ang ginawa mo kagabi." sabi ko. "I didn't answer your call nor your message dahil ayaw ni Ida. She doesn't want me to tell you where she is. Hinayaan ko siya dahil alam kong hindi niya pa kayo kayang harapin."

"Hindi naman namin siya pupuntahan kung gusto niyang mag-isa, Blair." he said. "Ang sakin lang, sana sinabi mo pa rin samin. We are her family and we're much more worried about her than you."

"I just did what your sister wants, Isaiah." I told him. "You don't know how much betrayal she felt last night. How much hurt she is, that's why I did everything she asked me to."

Isaiah deeply sighed and messed his hair. Alam kong sobrang nag-aalala siya kay Ida pero kailangan niya munang pag-isipan ng mabuti ang mga maling ginawa niya kagabi.

"Okay..." he breathed. "Where is she now? I'm sure she already cooled herself down. I need to see her. Kailangan ko siyang makausap."

"She left just a while ago." sabi ko.

Bahagya namang nanlaki ang kaniyang mga mata. "Did she go home already?"

Umiling ako. "Kasama niya si Gael."

Kitang-kita ko kung paano bumagsak ang mga balikat ni Isaiah. He clenched his jaw, trying to calm himself down.

"That's what I thought..." sabi niya't tumatango-tango. "Before Ida left the house, she told us that she will be the one to make up our lost. Alam kong si Gael ang tinutukoy niya. Gusto niyang makabawi kay Gael sa hindi namin pagtanggap sa kaniya sa pamilya namin."

"There's nothing wrong with that, Isaiah." I tried to point it out. "What happened before is now long and gone. Ang importante ay ang ngayon."

"Blair, my mother almost had a miscarriage when Gael and his mother came to our house for the first time. I was three years old that time. Mom couldn't take the revelation his mom made." pagkwento sa akin ni Isaiah. "At alam mo ba kung sino ang dinadala ni Mommy non? Alam mo ba kung sino ang muntik ng hindi mabigyan ng pagkakataong makita ang mundo?"

Napayuko nalang ako dahil alam ko kung sino ang tinutukoy ni Isaiah.

"It's Ida, Blair! Ida Mallari! Your bestfriend!" halos isigaw niya sa akin. "My sister almost died because of them. But when she survived, my Dad promised and did anything just to cut the connection between them kahit na gusto ng mommy ni Gael na pilit siyang ipasok sa buhay namin. She wants Daddy to accept as his son, but of course, hindi pumayag si Daddy. He pushed them away and our lives become peaceful dahil hindi na nila kami ginambala."

"It's not Gael's fault, Isaiah—"

"No, Blair! Hindi mo ako naiintindihan dahil hindi naman ikaw ang nakaranas non. I was too young to experience those kind of misery that my family experienced. I'm actually thankful that Ida didn't get to experience those fights that my Mom and Dad had been through. They almost wreck our family." sabi niya at ramdam na ramdam ko ang galit sa kaniyang puso.

"Gael didn't want that to happen. Believe me, Isaiah. He told me about it last night. Ayaw niya ring makasira ng pamilya at lalo na ang pamilya ng sarili niyang ama."

I tried to make him understand but he's too blind and angry to see reason.

"Alam mo... wala na sana sakin yun. I told myself that I'll be civil once I see him again because after all, he is my brother. Naisip ko rin ang sinabi mo na wala naman siyang kasalanan. It's all Dad's and his Mom's fault. He has nothing to do with what happened..." he trailed off.

He bit his lower lip and like a cue, his tear fell.

"But he stole you away from me." he continued as his voice broke. "Kinuha ka niya sa akin, Blair. I'm ready to forgive him, but he just added a gas to my flame."

"Isaiah, it's not like that—"

"I tried my best to keep you, Blair. I'm ready to quit and throw away whatever I have right now just to go steady with you. Sinabi ko sa sarili kong huling kanta nalang kasama ng banda at aayaw na ako dahil gusto na kitang makasama lagi." sabi niya. "I came home with high hopes that you will realize na ako ang kailangan mo, na ako ang mahal mo. But that fucking bastard took you away from me!"

"Isaiah, no one took me away from you dahil kung kailangan mo ako, nandito pa rin ako!" I told him. "I'm sorry if I hurt you. I'm sorry but I'm happy now... I'm happy with Gael."

"Putanginang, Gael." I heard him whispered before he stood up.

"Isaiah, please... Try to talk to Gael. You will see that he's a good man. He will be a good brother to you." pakiusap ko sa kaniya at umaasang papakinggan niya ako.

"I don't need a brother, Blair. Lalo na kung ang kapatid kong 'yon ay ang dahilan kung bakit ka nawala sa akin. Hindi ko kayang makipagplastikan sa kaniya." mariin niyang sabi. "Leave him before I give him a chance."

Walang salita siyang umalis at napapikit ako ng mariin. Hinilamos ko ang aking palad sa aking mukha sa sobrang frustration.

I want him to be okay with his family. I want him to be accepted. I want him to feel the love that the Mallaris can offer and give him.

Ida can be a step to let him in inside their family. Pero hangga't hindi pa rin siya tanggap ni Isaiah, alam kong wala pa ring mangyayari. He still won't be welcomed.

But I can't let go and leave him... I can't do that.

Can I be selfish this time and keep him from his family?