GrandStarlight: I dare Ness and Slappy to a duel to the death (not really)!

At Shelly's House...

*Slappy and Ness are sitting on the couch, and Shelly brings them a tray of tea*

SHELLY MADISON: Here you go, boys. *sets the tray of tea on the table* Enjoy. *kisses Slappy's head and goes into the kitchen*

SLAPPY: *blushes and chuckles*

NESS: Why do you like her?

SLAPPY: Duh. Because I like her. She is smart and pretty.

NESS: And because she is a Lubriem?

SLAPPY: Heck, yeah! That is cool!

NESS: *takes a sip from his teacup* So if she was not a Lubriem at all, would you still love her?

SLAPPY: Of course I would. *narrows his eyebrows* Wait... *crosses his arms* ...where are you going with this?

NESS: What are you talking about?

SLAPPY: Do you think that I love her only because she is a Lubriem?

NESS: No, I was just starting a conversation. That is all.

SLAPPY: A conversation, huh? Well, that was a lame way to start.

NESS: I am curious.

SLAPPY: *raises an eyebrow* About what?

NESS: Why do you actually care for her? You hate your Papa and everybody else, and you are a villain.

SLAPPY: Ugh! First of all, I am not a villain anymore! I have changed my ways! Second of all, Shelly is the only person who really cares for me! No one else does!

NESS: Maybe if you were more outgoing and calm—

SLAPPY: What about you?! You are never outgoing or calm because you are a freak!

NESS: *gasps and frowns* At least I did not destroy an entire town with my friends on purpose!

SLAPPY: At least I am not a big baby when things do not go my way!

NESS: What?! I am not a baby, and you certainly are not either! You are... *gets frustrated* ...a dummy!

SLAPPY: *growls and grabs him* Who you callin' dummy? Dummy!

NESS: *throws Slappy down with his powers* I am way better than you!

SLAPPY: No, I am!

NARRATOR: Whoa! Hold it right there, you two! What is going on here?

NESS: A dummy thinks that he is smarter than a human with powers.

Slappy: *gets up* You take that back!

NARRATOR: Gentlemen! Please! We can settle this a more reasonable way.

NESS/SLAPPY: How?

Narrator: Why, a duel!

SLAPPY: A duel? What is a duel?

NESS: *frowns at him*

SLAPPY: What? I have not been out of my book since the 1990's!

NARRATOR: A duel is when two or more people fight using weapons.

SLAPPY: Oh. Now I know.

NESS: Let us do it then!

NARRATOR: Alright! *a shelf of weapons appear* Pick your weapon!

NESS: Uh, do we have to use a weapon? Can we not use our powers?

SLAPPY: For once, I agree with weirdo here.

NARRATOR: JUST PICK A WEAPON!!!

NESS: O-okay! *grabs a sword*

SLAPPY: Yes, sir! *also grabs a sword*

NARRATOR: When I say fight, you will fight! One...two...three...

SHELLY MADISON: Wait! *rushes in* If you two have to fight, then could you not do it in here? I just bought new furniture and expensive vases.

SLAPPY: *nods* Yes, sweetie. *turns to Ness and raises his sword* Outside!

NESS: *raises his sword* Outside!

*Ness and Slappy hurry outside and hold up their swords*

NARRATOR: One...two...three...fight!

*Ness and Slappy start fighting*

SLAPPY: You are such a scaredy cat! Afraid of your own powers!

NESS: Says the puppet who is afraid of termites.

SLAPPY: .... *stabs Ness, but Ness stabs him back, and they both fall back*

SHELLY MADISON: *watching and gasps* No!!!

Later...

NARRATOR: We regret to inform you that neither Ness nor Slappy made it. They did not make it. *sighs and sees the readers' sad looks on their faces* Oh? You think that they are dead? They are not dead! They are at hospital with "minors" injuries, but they are going to be just fine. I was talking about how neither of them won the duel. I guess we will never know who is better. Anyway...remember, folks! Keep askin' and keep darin'!