I decided to ignore Rafe and hang out with the pogues today, mostly thanks to Sarah and our conversion. it was morning and we were just chilling in their HMS Pogues boat

"You guys see that? That's the Malibu 24-MXZ, the world's finest wake setter, number one in luxury, quality and performance, 200k easy" JJ says as we sees boat

"We picked the wrong parents" Pope says "I hate to break it to you guys, but that's Topper and his girlfriend" Kiara says

"she has a name" I says before I make an eye contact with Sarah, she gives me a little smile before her smile fades as she give Kiara a glare

"You don't have to act like you don't see us bitch" Kiara says as Topper and Sarah passed us "watch it" I says "chill" Kiara says "no you don't get to say that to my friend"

"Well, your friend is a bitch" she says "you are the one that acting like one!" I spat "I knew this was a bad idea to bring you" Kiara says "you guys invited me over!" I says

"Guys, chill" John B says "what's your problem with me anyways?" I asks "you" she says "Seriously, what's your deal" I asks again "you just left us without an explanation and started hanging out with Sarah and everyone seems to be okay with it" she explains

"I am sorry that I just left, okay?" I says "that's not enough, that's not an explanation" she says "But it's not fair! When I am with Sarah, you hates it, when I am with you guys, Rafe hates it. I didn't know what to do" I says

"So you chose the look princess and prince, obviously" she says "it's not like I had a choice" I says "you're saying it like he forces you to not see us" John B says

"That's the reason you stopped hanging out with us? Rafe?" JJ asks "that's toxic" Pope says "I don't need y'all advice in my relationship, thank you"

"he doesn't know you're with us right now doesn't he?" JJ asks "it doesn't matter" I shrugs "Why are you still with him?" JJ asks "it's complicated" I answers

"Look... I just missed you guys" I says "me too" Kiara says "don't pull that bitchy attitude on me again that was mean" I says "I know I am sorry" she says with a laugh

"And don't talk about Sarah" I faces her "okay, okay" Kie says raises her hand as defence

-

"All right, keep look out, we are behind enemy lines" JJ says pulling his gun out of his pocket "Yo, come on man just put it back" John B says "you can never be too careful" he says

"I predict bringing a weapon to a four star hotel will likely cause more problems than they solve" Pope says "thank you pope" JJ says "I swear I am gonna shoot you with that thing" I says

"I swear to god, I am gonna throw that thing in the ocean, JJ. Put it back" Kiara says as John B grabs the gun from JJ hand and putting it back "There you go" Pope says "you can't grab a gun like that" JJ says

"I gotta be honest, I was pretty disappointed when I heard that you haven't shot Topper at the bonfire" I says "don't worry I will have enough chances to do that" JJ says with a smirk

"So where are we going now?" Pope asks as we all walked out of the Twinkie "we are getting on the internet because only rich people have electricity right now" JJ says as we walked towards the hotel

"See they got the backup generators going? Kooks don't miss a beat" JJ says as we walked in a room with computers

"Sweet lord, the internet! I've missed you" Pope says, immediately taking a seat next to computer

"I got the map" John B says "Coordinates, please?" Pope asks "34° 57' 30" north. 75° 55' 42" west" John B instructs Pope

"Boom, continental shelf right there" John B says "well, if it's off the deep end, it's not gonna be much of a treasure hunt, is it?" Pope says before John B sighs

"Come on baby, come on" JJ says "shit it's on the high side, it's only 900 feet" John B says "that's not too deep" JJ says "is that doable or something?" Kie asks "yeah, totally doable" JJ answers

"Will we be taking your personal submarine?" Pope sarcastically questions JJ "how do you know this Ms dive master?" John B asks "the salvage yard" JJ says "they got a drone that can drop 1,000. It has a 360 camera and everything" he explains

"It's like deep dives and stuff, it's exactly what we need" JJ adds "that's actually a good idea" I says "before you gets excited, can your dad get his grimy little hands on that?" John B asks "well, my dad's grimy little hands got his ass fired" JJ says

"I guess the salvage captain frowns on showing up shitfaced, turns out. But the drone is there. It's in the impound yard out back" he adds "how much did you say was on the Royal Merchant?" Kie asks

"400 million" me, JJ and John B answers as pope gets up quickly blocking the door with his body "400 million dollars?" Kie asks again "Yep" JJ says "no. Absolutely not. Absolutely no. No!" Pope says before Kie pushes him from the door

"Guys that too-" pope says but gets interrupted as everyone walks out of the door "come on" I says

-

"Pope, we are not stealing the drone. We're borrowing it" John B says as we were all in the Twinkie, heading to the salvage yard

"Humans are the only animal that can't tell fantasy from reality" Pope says "did you come up with that?" John B asks "Albert Bernstein came up with it, but it applies to this whole treasure haunt thing" Pope answers

"Oh" John B says "So, which is it? Fantasy or reality?" Pope questions "why are you so weird, pope?" JJ says "it's fantasy but possible reality" Kie says "sometimes you gotta believe in one thing, even if it's not true" I says

"Reality" John B confidently says "virtual reality" JJ says teasing him as he was about to light his joint before Pope throws it "Keep the single clear" he says before JJ gives him a glare

"You know what your problems is?" JJ asks Pope "you?" He answers "no it's that you need to relax! Man, you're always so tense" JJ says "if I would listen to you guys fighting for one more minutes I would kill myself" I walks out of the Twinkie

"Wait I am coming with you" I tells Kie "yeah I know what it's like to sit in the back with Pope and JJ" she says making me laugh

"hello" Kie waves at the security man "excuse me?" She says grabbing his attention

"Can I help you?" He asks "hi, um we actually have a flat tire I was wondering if you could help us out?" Kie asks "yeah" he answers "yeah" Kie repeats and I high five her after the guard man goes to get tools

The security man comes back with tools "It's just the back one right here" I says "it must've been a slow leak or something" Kie adds

"Been sitting in the yard too long?" He asks "yeah" Kie answers "yeah I- I got this" he says "thank you" we both politely says

"do you hear that?" The man asks as we hears a dog barking "hear what?" I asks, trying to play dumb "oh Tebow's got something" he says "it's probably just a raccoon, maybe, you know?" Kie says

"Nothing to worry about" I adds "yeah" the man says before Kie goes to the other pinch the other wheels in order to earn the boys more time

"Where's your friend?" He asks as he stand up "uh she's-" I says but before I comes up with excuse he already found her by the wheels "what are you doing?" He asks before he rans away "wait!" I tries to stop him, but fails

"Shit" Kie says "this isn't good" I says as we both gets in the car "shouldn't we wait for them?" I asks "no it's okay, they got the Twinkie" she says and I nod before she starts driving

"So you and Sarah got really close?" Kie asks after a few minutes of silence in the car "uh yeah. After I started dating Rafe me and her got along pretty well" I explains

"Hm" she hums "I don't really know what happened between you guys but-" I says "she didn't tell you?" Kie chuckles as she cuts me off

"No, she didn't. It's between you two" I shrugs "she's such a bitch" Kie shakes her head "come on, I asked you not to talk about her" I says

"I wasn't upset about you starting hanging out with her you know, I was upset that you stopped talking to us without any reason" she explains "I know, it wasn't fair and I am sorry about that" I says

"that's okay, I am glad that you're with us again" she says making me smile "maybe you and Sarah can talk it out or something" I offers "I don't think so" she shrugs

"What's going on with you and Rafe though?" She asks "nothing, really" I says "come on. I know you" she says

"We fight a lot, mostly about me spending time with you guys" I answers "do you happy with him?" She asks "sometimes, sometimes it can be too much" I says being honest

"I think you deserve to be with someone that makes you happy, Hales" she says, it's the first time she called me that in a while "Hales?" I says with a smile

"Yeah, I missed calling you that" she says "well, thank you Kie" I says making her smile too "I missed that too" I adds "I'll always look out for you, I hope you know that" she adds "I do" I nods

-

I promised Sarah I am gonna go to this party tonight, I knew Rafe was probably gonna be there so I was pretty anxious. We haven't talked since the fight we had

I was looking for Sarah, I don't really know people from the party, "Toppers on the roof!" Someone yells grabbing my attention.

I sees evryone we're gathering around by the pool, I looked up seeing Topper with Sarah "hi guys!" Sarah howls as everyone was cheering "jump! Jump! Jump! Jump"

I spot Rafe sitting around people who were snorting coke and giving him money, he was also flirting with some girls. then I realised he was selling them coke, I didn't know he was selling drugs.

It was one thing to do drugs but other thing to sell it for other people. So I decided to walk up to him "Rafe?" I says

"Oh, hi Haley" he says looking at me "we need to talk" I says "I am in a middle of something" he says "Rafe I am serious" I says "what can be so important?" He asks

"In private" I says "I'll be right back guys" he says grabbing my hand aggressively dragging me outside, we walked to a quite spot away from the people

"Can't you see I am busy?" He snaps "I didn't knew you are selling drugs! You said you'd get better for me- you promised" I snaps

"Yeah and you promised you won't hang out with those pogues again!" He raises his voice "do you seriously think that I am that stupid? I saw them dropping you at my fucking house yesterday!" He says

I don't think anyone can hear or see us, I just realised we were really far away from the party "you were obviously flirting with some girls and selling them drugs how can hang out with the pogues would be worse?" I questions raising my voice as well, seeing his experience gets angrier

"Ever since our last fight something has changed in you toward me. you're distant, cold. it's because of those pogues, isn't it!" He shouts "no it's not! It's you and your behaviour. you can't blame it on them you fucking narcissist" I shout as well

"How the fuck did you just called me!" He shouts as pushed me agains a car and puts his hands on my neck, choking me "call me that again!" He shouts as I was struggling to breath

"Not so fucking brave now huh?" He says as he strengthens the grip "Rafe" I gasps for air with tears. he lets go and I falls down and start coughing as air finally goes inside my veins

"Shit Haley, it's those drugs this isn't me" he says "Rafe get away from me" I says "no, you don't understand I didn't meant to do that" he says

"Rafe you are out of control" I stands up "it's just- I don't want to lose you and those pogues taking you away from me" he says with tears. I hate that he makes me feel sympathy for him after what he just did.

"I hate the way you makes me feel, I hate it so much" I says, trying so hard not to cry in front of him "Hales, baby. I am sorry" he says

"I know I am not good for you but I just had this fight with my dad and I feel like I am losing it, I can't lose you too, please try to understand me" he says

"I love you, please say something" he adds "I love you too, I just want to be alone right now" I says as I started to walk away "Haley" he says making me stop and look at him

"I love you" he says again and I walk up to him, lays a kiss on his cheek, then walking away.

When I arrived home I felt sick to o my stomach, I let myself cry as I take a look at my self in the mirror. I feel disgusted by the bruise that I have left by Rafes grip on my neck.

I am so tired of Rafe's bullshit but I don't know how to let go, I am not only scared of him I am sacred of the fact that I feel bad for him every time he gets aggressive

I tried helping him and for a while I was convinced that he was sober and he was getting better, which probably was a lie when I am thinking about it.

I am also scared that if I'd leave him things would get worse between us and for him and I don't want that

I was looking in my wardrobe for something I could wear to cover up the bruise and I found some turtleneck shirt that could hide it

Before I went to sleep I put the shirt on and hoped that the next day would go better. I got nothing left but hope.