"You're light. You're my light."

II.

"You've been working yourself over." I sigh as I grab his hand that's on the table and run my fingers over the bandaids I put on his calloused hands. They were ripped open and bloody from the sledgehammer he used at work.

"Keeps my anger in check." Frank states just before our waitress sets down our coffee. I had decided to meet up with Frank right by his apartment building so he didn't have to come to me this time.

"Well can't say it's worse than the alternative." I tease and he smiles as he drinks his coffee.

"Hey, hipster! Phone call!" The waitress interupts us, I turn to see she's talking to Frank.

"Can't be." He shakes his head.

"I'm telling you, he described you as if he were standing right next to me." I look over to Frank my eyes wide and then I start searching the window outside as he gets up. I quickly get money out of my purse and set it on the table before getting up. Once I reach Frank he hangs up.

"Who was it?" I ask him as he pulls out his wallet.

"I already paid. Let's go." I tell him as I let him lead seeing as he probably has a plan already.

"You need to go home." He tells me as we get outside. I don't argue as he nods towards a building that has a bright light reflecting off the roof. He wants to go get the person.

Before he can walk away I grab his arm, when he turns around I place a kiss on his cheek.

"Be safe." He keeps his gaze on mine before he nods and starts to run. I sigh and turn around to get in my car when something catches my eye on the roof. He's already staring at me when I see him and he acts before I can. I quickly throw my purse in my car and circle the building. He comes down a ladder when I'm near and I chase him down a few alleyways before he trips and I finally catch up to him. I quickly pull him up by his jacket and shove him against the wall. His hood is still up and he has colorful reflective glasses on.

"Who the hell are you?" He struggles to get out of my grip and when he does I shove him hard against the brick wall making him bang his head against it. It seemed to affect him because he goes a little loose in my hands. He wasn't hard to subdue considering he probably weighed as much as me.

"Like you don't already know." I yank his glasses off and my breath catches in my throat. I let him go and step back.

"David?"

"What are you doing around a man like Frank?" He questions me. I guess we're skipping the formal greetings.

"What game are you playing here?" I ask him crossing my arms.

"You need to stay away from him, Andrews. He's not who you think he is." He starts to walk away.

"Nothing I haven't already heard." I say as I follow him. He stops and turns to face me again.

"Well maybe this time you should listen. Ask him about the cd I gave him, you'll see what I'm talking about." He walks away again but this time I don't follow.

flashback

When a soldier dies his brothers and sisters mourn him with a ceremony fit for a protector of the country. I always admired the ceremonies that were held for fallen heroes, the firing of the rifles, the folding of the flag, the uniformed team perfecting every move they make. I just never thought how terrible it would feel when I experienced it with my own brother. His best friends carrying his casket and folding that flag... it all just looked so wrong. I was standing by myself. There were some people he was friends with who I had barely seen in my life and then there were all his fellow soldiers, most of them participating in the ceremony and the ones who just attended I had only met a few times. My parents, god I never hated my parent more in this moment. Who misses their sons funeral? They were in China for some work deal and they couldn't catch any flights on time. I would understand if it was short notice but they knew a week in advance the date yet they used the excuse. In a way that's how it always was, I always had Colin's back and he always had mine. Now he's dead and I'm left to live in this world without anyone.

Once the ceremony was over I had a reception at mine and Colin's shared apartment. I had ordered a cater of small snack platters and wine. Wine, I was currently consuming a lot of it. not enough to get drunk but enough for a bit of a buzz so I could feel something. Everyone was looking at me. Anytime I moved a muscle eyes would fleet to me, like hungry lions preying on an innocent gazelle. I hated it.

Before I know it five people surrounded me. David was among them along with four of Colin's other best friends that I actually loved to hang out with. But right now with all of them, it seemed a bit overbearing.

"Your parents?" One of them asked.

"China." The word was bitter coming from my mouth. God, I'm never going to China.

"What are you doing with all his stuff?" Another one asked and David nudged him. I took a sip of my wine.

"Putting most in storage, maybe donating some of his clothes. You're welcome to take anything you want. He left it all to me to do whatever with it." Out of all of Colin's things I wanted his dog tags the most, that and some of his sweaters and shirts. The rest was stuff he collected over the years, little trinkets.

"He left everything to you? Jesus Christ..." One of them said. I wanted to know what he meant by that, did he know how much Colin had saved? Maybe he did, they essentially were in the same area of work, maybe he had just as much. Although, his reaction was about the same as mine when I met with his attorney about what was left to me. I never knew Colin to be a big spender but he wasn't cheap either, I had wondered for awhile how he obtained all this money. Even jokingly saying he took up stripping, he'd get a kick out of that.

"You know we're all here for you. No matter what. Any time of the day." David spoke up. I bite my lip.

"I'm moving to Brooklyn." I blurt out.

"I'll be officially moved out in a month. I can't stay..." I shake my head.

"You're just a subway ride away. If you need us..." David speaks. I nod my head at him. Although me and David had only had brief conversations, him and Colin were pretty close.

"You still seeing that douche Jarod?" One of them asks to lighten the mood. I let out an airy laugh.

"That douche cheated so I ended it. No skin off my back though." I shrug.

"You want us to roughen him up a bit?"

I laugh sincerely this time.

"Colin asked the same thing, I think I covered it though." I shake my head, "men, always wanting to play hero." They all laugh and we clink our glasses to Colin.

A month later when I moved I didn't contact them again. Every once in awhile they would message me during that month but I didn't care to respond. At the time I felt like it was all played out, as if they didn't really care, they just felt obligated. I knew that wasn't true deep down though.

"So you knew this David guy?" Frank asks me as we settle into my apartment on the couch with takeout from the Chinese place down he street.

"Sort of, he was a friend of my brothers. He came around every so often." I dig through some boxes I had in my closet. They were filled with pictures and Colin's paperwork from his missions and tours along with all the funeral paperwork and letter upon letters from the government. I had them on the living room table as I sorted through them.

"So you ran after him? Didn't even think? That kind of stuff can get you killed." Frank states. I stop digging and look up at him.

"No, I didn't think. I saw him and I acted. It's a good thing I did too." I resume flipping through folders.

"So what? He just stop running for you?" I finally find the folder I was looking for.

"No. He tripped, I caught him and probably gave him a small concussion." I take out the picture in the folder. It was of David and Colin at some bar but you could see David's red face clear as day. I hand it to Frank so he could know who he was dealing with. And then I hand him the file.

"Colin worked with intel, he always brought files upon files home when he got back. He was always working even when he was not."

"Frank, I'm giving you this because I trust that you won't do anything unreasonable. David, from what I got from him, was a good man. Colin liked him and trusted him. Which means I did at one point. Whatever you think he's doing I'm not sure he's the enemy here." I put everything back into the boxes and put the lids back on them.

"We'll see about that."

He's quiet as he goes through the paper and I bite my lip as I think of how to go about my next words.

"David said something about a cd..." Frank pauses and then looks up from the files to meet my eyes. I keep his gaze, almost daring him to lie to me.

"It's nothing you need to concern yourself over." He states and I cross my arms and give him a pointed look.

"Anything that concerns you, concerns me too, Frank."

He sighs and sets the papers down. He takes a seat on the couch and I join him our knees brushing together.

"Em, I had to do a lot of things I wasn't comfortable with. Kinda things that stick with you, things you can't shake no matter how hard you try. I don't..." He shakes his head as he trails off. I grab his hand and place a kiss on his knuckles and keep them pressed to my lips, urging him to continue.

"I can't... I won't let my demons haunt you too. You're light. My light." His jaw is clenched and he looks away from me and down t his shoes. I pull his arm to wrap around my waist and then lean into him, his head resting against mine.

"Look at me, Frank." He takes a second before he does.

"We're in this together. Anything that keeps you awake, is gonna keep me awake. No matter what you did... it's not going to change anything between us. I know you, Frank. The real you." He grabs my hand that was placed against his cheek and leans into it and then places a kiss on my palm.

"Maybe it's better if I explain it. I don't want you to see..." He clears his throat and I nod my head. It's a compromise.

"Me and my men were apart of what they called Operation Cerberus. We were tasked with capturing and interrogating high valued targets linked to organized terrorism. At the time we didn't know that everything the operation stood for was illegal. None of it was sanctioned by congress. We were told to keep our ears to the ground in the village we were stationed at for any suspicions. Next thing I know word got out that one of the men who was working with an agent over there was a target. We didn't know why, our commanding officer at the time just gave us the order and we did as we were told. We strung him up, beat the hell out of him for answers. I didn't know how far it was going to go until..." He takes a deep breath and I rub his shoulder with my other hand.

"Until I was ordered to execute him. He kept going on and on about his family... and I just... I pulled the trigger. He was fucking innocent and I knew better than to think otherwise but we all have orders." I tilt his head up to look at me as his eyes started to drift down again. He looked empty...broken. Frank takes lives but this life, this life was different. He had no reasoning to kill this person besides being told to do it. I understood, Colin would never go into detail but he too had seen things, done things that he had trouble living with. But it's different when you're over there. You have orders, you swore to uphold and follow these orders. Frank was doing what he was told.

"Frank, you may have pulled the trigger but that wasn't you. It just wasn't. That's not who you are. Orders are orders regardless of your belief system. You can't fault yourself for trying to follow the rules no matter how fucked up and blurred the lines may get from being right or wrong. If this is your ghost then it's mine too, and we're going to defeat it together but you don't have to do any of this alone. As long as I'm here, Frank, you will never be alone in your battles."

a/n:
flashback!!!
wow, it's been months guys. i'm so sorry, i got side tracked with college and then the holidays came out of nowhere so quick. but i'm back!!! and ready to get into season 1! can we also talk about the season 2 trailer!!! i'm so fucking excited it's not even funny.

on another deeply upsetting note, Iron Fist and Daredevil got cancelled. (yes i know like cage did too but after the absolute shit show season 2 was i'm not surprised). i am however surprised with how well season 2 of iron fist did and for them to cancel... wow. don't even get me started on daredevil, that show is/was everything. Matt Murdock is the gdm back bone of marvel on netflix...season 3 was so fucking incredible, it was so raw. so gdm raw. and we got introduced to pointdexter, that whole story arc was just beautiful, they did an amazing job and we got introduced to a great new character all for it to be thrown away. i'm still so fucking pissed and as excited as i am about season 2 of the punisher it upsets me because i know it will probably get cancelled too after this season. so, congrats netflix for fucking us all over. so if you want to rant just hit up my messages anytime.

anyways, i hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and are excited about this book just as much as i am! leave comments and let me know what you think!
much love, xoxo