I always did my best to keep boys from being attracted to me since I didn't see the point in trying to get together with anyone. I knew I was too complicated, too weird, and too obsessed with Levi and Sean to date regular guys. My Goth clothes and drum playing in a hick town where listening to country music and hunting on the weekends were the epitome of cool made it clear I was not dating material. Friend material and fun chick to hang out with, yes. Girl to flirt with, no. I practically painted a 'Warning: Do not Feed the Animals' sign on my forehead. There were stone walls topped with barbed wire and broken glass around me and so far, they had kept all the intruders out of my life.

Joshua was calmly and quietly scaling the walls and cutting the barbed wire. I wondered where the glass shards were that were supposed to cut his hands. He wasn't from here, though. He didn't see what other people saw - a girl who wouldn't fit in and couldn't conform. My past was a mystery to him, my obsessions unknown, and the way he tilted his head and gave me his crooked smile told me he wasn't afraid to find those things out. Heavy baggage was not a deterrent, not when he wanted to know everything about me.

"Well, cool that you feel O.K.," he said. "Did you still get in trouble with the principal?"

I blinked and searched my brain for what we had been talking about. The principal's office, the near-fainting, the handprint in my book...Today. My memory was slippery today. "No, he sent me to the nurse's office." I took a bite of my sandwich, but my mouth didn't cooperate by chewing properly.

Alicia was focused sullenly on the table, refusing to say hi or join in the conversation.

I continued around the bread and ham. "Yeah, I felt fine right away, and I didn't want to call my mom during her classes in the morning."

"What kind of classes?" he asked.

Relieved that I had steered his attention away from my near-fainting and hallucinating moment, I managed to swallow my bite. "Nursing and psychology, she's trying to get certified as a-"

"This is an annual thing for Brooklyn," Alicia said, interrupting. "Kind of an anniversary celebration. She makes outrageous claims or gets spectacularly sick so she can go home for the rest of the day. No matter who might need her. No matter how her friends feel."

"That's not true. I am always here for you, Alicia," I said.

"Every single year, on this day, you do this to me."

"Stop it! Every year this happens to me; I don't ask for it and it has nothing to do with you," I said.

"Nothing to do with me?" she asked. "You think you are so special, the lucky friend who didn't go in the forest. That's what everyone says and you just lap it up, as if you deserved to be spared that day. It was fate that saved you and to prove your point, you have to make a show of fate treating you differently every single year!"

"Whoa, hey, can we back this up a second? I have no idea what either of you are talking about, but I'm sure there's some way you can work this out," Joshua said. He brushed against my leg with his under the table as he moved on his seat to look at us both.

That one, tiny spot of warmth from him flowed through my whole body. Through him, I had a link to the real world that I wanted to live in. I opened my mouth to explain and make everything logical, but Alicia was faster.

"Five years ago today, Brooklyn told the class that a zombie donkey was staring at her through the window during a science test. She got so upset that she puked all over her desk and her mom came to get her. So instead of me going to her house to work on a social studies project, I went with Sean and Levi for a walk in the woods to the lake. They asked me to go and while we were in the woods, someone attacked us. I ran after getting beaten almost to death, but Sean and Levi disappeared without a trace. No one ever found any sign of where they were taken or what happened to them. Brooklyn wasn't there. She didn't see anything, but no one hates her like they hate me. I was there, I saw everything. I know who did it, but since I was hit on the head, I CAN'T REMEMBER. Do you think that's fair? Everyone hates me because I can't tell them where Sean and Levi are, but everybody loves you!" Alicia was standing and yelling by that point.

"No one hates you-"

"That's bull! They blame me and tell you that you were so lucky! I survived, I got away and they practically blame me for killing them." She leaned forward, hands splayed flat on the table. Her purple nail polish was in sharp contrast with her pale skin. As I watched, green streaks, like mold or gangrene were beginning to form around her fingernails and shoot up her fingers.

Nausea hit me, the same as when I saw that dead-alive donkey bobbing its head at me on the other side of the window. I was twelve again and sitting at my desk unable to speak or move or do anything but wish my mom would come and take me home. I could see the maggots in the holes of the donkey's hide, his black, rotting eyes sockets and the pieces of flesh torn from his yellow bones.

The dark green streaks were reaching Alicia's knuckles.

"Alicia, your fingers," I whispered. I was going to throw up.

She glanced down and shrugged, as though to say there was nothing wrong with them. "Exactly my point," she said to Joshua. "I try to tell you about the kidnapping and my getting beat up, and she has to turn it around into something weird that only she can see."

"I don't think that's what she meant," Joshua said, shaking his head.

"What does it matter what you think? Who the hell are you anyway?"

"What is your problem?" Joshua stood up, furious.

"Stop," I said. "Stop!"

"My problem is dickwa-"

"Stop!" I yelled, interrupting Alicia. "I'm going and I'd like for you, Joshua, to come with me." I threw my uneaten food and napkin on the tray, balancing it and bag in one hand while grabbing for Joshua with the other. I left without turning or saying goodbye. It would have been pointless anyway.

"Tell me she is not your best friend. I mean, she has some serious problems," Joshua whispered. We wended our way between tables of kids, some staring openly, others pretending not to.

"She is my very good friend and I don't need your comments," I snapped.

"Brooklyn, don't get mad, but she is not your friend."

We had reached the hallway and I turned to face him. "We have history that you can't understand and today is just a very bad day. This is not who we usually are, who I am." It was partly a lie; Alicia and I were always different underneath and she and I both knew it.

"Do you need someone to talk to about all this? I won't judge you or talk about you behind your back, that kind of crap just isn't my style. I will listen if you need someone. I'd like to be a person you can talk to," he said.

I realized that I had forgotten to put my tray in the cart on the way out. I also realized I was holding his hand. His fingers were tangled up awkwardly with mine, in my rush to leave the table, I had grabbed him without thinking. The tray wobbled, growing heavy. "I should put this back."

He took it from me. "I'll do it." He let go of my hand slowly. "I should probably go get mine. It looks like Alicia went out the other door. Wait for me?"

The bell rang, harsh and insistent.

"I need to go the bathroom real quick before class. I'll see you at practice?"

"Yeah, O.K.," he said.

Students began pouring through the double doors into the hall where we were standing. I waited for Joshua to leave before ducking into the crowd and finding the nearest restroom.

It was empty, which was always a relief. I went into a stall and locked the door, then put the lid down to sit on it. My stomach was twisted in knots and I was shaking. Alicia knew all my buttons to push and sometimes I hated her for it. I must be wrong about the green that was spreading in her skin. I must have imagined it.

There was a rustling noise from the far corner. I bent over to check under the stall. No one was in the bathroom. Another rustling and a sigh.

A sing-song voice whispered through the muffled quiet. "Brooklyn?"

******* Sorry for the long break between updates and thank you for reading!!! Now that we know Alicia's side to what happened five years ago to her and the Walters brothers, is she justified in her anger towards Brooklyn? *******