"Ay, Dan! Naku, salamat sa pasalubong, ha! Matutuwa ang mga anak ko nito!"

Nangunot ang noo ko sa sinabi ni Manang.

"No problem po, Manang. I'm glad you like it."

Napakurap ako at saka napatingin kay Danniel. Kumunot ang noo ko. Iyon kasi agad ang bungad ni Manang pagkapasok namin ng bahay. Mama invited him in nang makita ang sasakyan niyang papasok ng garahe namin.

I wanted him not to accept the invitation for dinner, but then he agreed so wala na rin akong nagawa. Tsk. Nakatayo lang ako sa sala at nakatingin sa kanya na nakikipag-usap kina Manang. Nang umalis sila Manang ay saka siya bumaling sa akin. Nginitian niya pa ako.

"Ano iyon?" What did you give them?" hindi ko napigilang tanong. Mas ngumiti siya sa akin.

"Nasa kuwarto mo ang mga pasalubong ko," sabi niya pa.

Bahagyang umawang ang labi ko sa sinabi niya. "Huh?"

Nagkibit-balikat siya. "The trip was a tour around Europe. Mommy wanted to do that ever since, so it also entails shopping. We went to 10 countries. Got you a pasalubong for each."

Na-speechless ulit ako at napasinghap.

"Seriously?" hindi makapaniwalang sabi ko. Mas ngumisi siya sa akin.

"Tinulungan ako ni Dene and Mommy with the bags though," aniya at nagkamot pa ng ulo. I was still looking at him in disbelief. Iyon talaga ang bungad nia sa akin, ha. Pasalubong? Thank you naman!

I bit my lip and looked away. I felt him staring at me, then I felt his presence beside me. "Laide..."

Napapikit ako sa sobrang lapit niya sa tainga ko. Fuck. I could feel his hot breath on my neck and it just sent shivers to my spine. Parang tumindig ang lahat ng balahibo ko sa init ng hininga niya. Damn it. Bakit ba kasi ang lapit?!

Napalunok ako at saka huminga nang malalim. Lumayo ako sa kanya. "Uhhh. I guess, sa taas muna ako," sabi ko at tinalikuran na siya. Ni hindi ko siya tiningnan I was about to go when he stopped me and held my arm. Ayoko man siyang lingunin pero napalingon din ako sa kanya.

Para akong nauupos nang magtama ang mga mata namin. Seryosong nakatingin siya sa akin. "Can we talk after?" halos pigil hiningang tanong niya.

Napakurap ako at saka mariing lumunok. I bit my lip and slowly nodded. He let go of me after. Huminga ulit ako nang malalim bago tuluyang umakyat sa kwarto ko.

Parang nanlalambot ang mga tuhod ko nang makapasok ako sa room ko. Nasapo ko ang aking dibdib at napabagsak na lang ng higa sa aking kama. Fuck. He's here! He's back...I bit my lip even more. I shut my eyes tightly as I felt my heart beating so fast.

Sobrang bilis at lakas ng tibok ng puso ko to the point na pakiramam ko ay lalabas na siya sa dibdib ko. And I didn't know if it was happiness or there was something more to it, pero naiiyak ako. I couldn't understand what I was feeling. Shit. He's back...naiiyak ako na ewan.

Mariin akong pumikit at saka bumalikwas ng bangon. Then I looked around my room at ganoon na lang ang pagsinghap ko nang makita ang mga pasalubong na sinabi niya kanina.

"What the heck?" nasabi ko na lang kasi napuno ang isang mahabang couch ko ng paper bags from different brands! Iba-ibang paper bag ang mga nandoon. I think most of it were bags! Damn! Saan ko ilalagay ang mga ito?

Umalis ako ng kama at saka nag-squat para tingnan ang mga pasalubong niya. Napasinghap ulit ako at napailing na lang habang binubuksan ko iyong mga Chanel at Hermes bags. The brute bought me 3 freaking birkins! What the hell?! Ano ito, suhol na umalis siya at letter lang ang iniwan?

Parang mahihilo yata ako sa mga pinagbibili ni Danniel. Kung hindi pa ako tinawag ni Manang na mag-dinner na raw ay hindi ko alam kung paano ko aayusin iyong mga regalong nandoon. Bago pa ako malunod sa mga pinagbibili ni Danniel ay lumabas na ako at bumaba.

Nasa dining na sina Mama, Papa at Danniel. Nag-uusap sina Papa at Danniel. Kagat-labing tumabi ako kay Danniel.

"So, nagkaayos na ba kayo ng daddy mo?" si Papa. Tumikhim si Danniel. Dahan-dahan ko siyang tiningnan at kaswal lang naman siyang kumakain.

"We're getting there, Tito," sagot niya at parang wala lang na nilalagyan din ang plato ko. I bit my lip and just let him. Hindi na ako nagreklamo at hinayaan na lang siya roon.

"Well, that's good, hijo. No matter how much you fight, remember, he's still your dad. We all make mistakes, but I hope you forgive each other. Wala namang perfect family." Mama smiled at him. Danniel smiled back.

"Yes, Tita. Well, I think the vacation helped us. After all, that was Mommy's goal. Mukhang effective naman, Tita." He smiled. Napatungo ulit ako at kumain na lang.

"That's good. So, should I expect your father's retirement on his birthday? Will you be taking over already?" nakangising tanong ni Papa. Natigilan tuloy ako at napatingin din sa kanya.

There was a hint of smile on his face.

"I can't assure that, though, Tito. We talked about it. The only thing I could assure you is that I will be handling the transaction of the Fermin Hotels with us," he said, smiling at Papa.

Tumango si Papa at mukhang satisfied naman sa sagot niya. The dinner was all about Papa and Danniel talking about business. Nangumusta rin si Mama sa mga pinuntahan nila sa Europe na sinagot naman ni Danniel.

I didn't even utter a word. Nakinig lang ako sa usapan nila. It was a smooth dinner. Pagkatapos kumain ay iniwan kami nina Mama at Papa kasi nagpunta sila sa may garden para magtsaa.

Danniel and I were in the living room. Sobrang awkward naming dalawa to the point na binuksan ko iyong TV para lang hindi kami parang tanga roon na magkatabi pero nakatulala lang sa kawalan. I bit my lip. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang sasabihin. I was about to clear my throat pero naunahan niya naman ako.

"So, do you like my gifts?" tanong niya pa. I could feel him staring at me. Hindi ako lumingon sa kanya.

Tumango ako. "Thank you...though hindi mo naman kinailangan na gumastos nang ganoon kalaki. At ang dami." I heard him chuckle then he sighed.

"Wala ang mga iyon kumpara sa sakit na naibigay ko sa 'yo the past months." I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"So, ano iyon? Suhol?" This time, I turned to him. He was already staring at me intently.

"No, it's not. I bought those because I want to spoil you...just like the usual..."

Totoo naman. Spoiled naman talaga ako sa kanya simula pa noong nanliligaw siya hanggang sa naging MU kami at hanggang sa naging kami na.

"I don't need it..."

"I know. I just want to give. But that's not the main reason why I am here now...."

"Ano, then?"

Umusog siya palapit sa akin. Napakurap ako. He then held my hands. Hindi ako kumibo. Hindi ako umimik at hinayaan lang siya habang nakatitig sa kanya. He looked at my hand and started caressing it.

"I know I have caused you so much pain...and I know a sorry is not enough, Laide. But, I'm still sorry. I'm sorry for hurting you with my decisions. I'm sorry for being a coward...and I'm sorry if I left the country without even explaining to you in person. I'm sorry, if I had to do it through a letter, Laide...I am fucking sorry." His voice became hoarse. Humigpit ang kapit niya sa kamay ko at maya-maya pa ay dinala nia iyon sa kanyang bibig at hinalikan.

Napakurap ako at naramdaman ko ang panginginig ng aking katawan pati na ang pag-iinit ng aking mga mata. Lumunok ako. All the fights that we've been through the past months came back and parang lahat ng sakit ay bumalik din.

Naiiyak ako pero pinipigilan ko. He sniffed and then I felt a hot liquid on my hands. I shut my eyes tight. My heart was beating so fucking fast. I never thought I would be this emotional again. Damn it.

"I was pissed at you, you know. How come you left when you said that you wanted to fix us? Ni hindi tayo nag-usap tungkol sa mga sinabi mo sa sulat..." Hindi ko na napigilang humikbi. Fuck...no matter how hard I try to contain it, I just couldn't.

Nag-angat siya ng tingin dahilan para magsalubong ang mga mata namin. He let out a soft curse before he pulled me into a tight hug. Sobrang higpit ng yakap niya na pakiramdam ko sobrang ipit ko na. But then hindi ako nagreklamo. Shit. I missed this...I miss his hug...I miss the security that I feel whenever his arms are wrapped around me.

"I fucking hate it when you cry...damn it. I'll make it right this time, Laide. I swear, I'll start over again. I'll be better for us...for you...damn it kahit umabot ulit ng 4 years. Wala akong pakialam. I am getting you back, Laide. I don't care if you have move on or you are trying to move on...I won't let you..."

Mas lalo lang akong naiyak sa mga sinabi niya. Move on? Move on my ass.

Yumakap ako pabalik sa kanya at ibinaon ang mukha ko sa balikat niya. Doon ako umiyak nang umiyak habang panay ang halik niya sa buhok ko at sabi niya ng sorry sa akin habang ako ay panay rin ang iyak sa kanyang balikat.

That night ended up being emotional for me. After our encounter, walang nagsalita sa amin ni Danniel. He just bid goodbye when Dene called him at hinahanap na raw siya ni Tita. He was back to their house kasi request ni Tita. Nagkakasakit daw si Tita pag umuuwi siya ng condo niya.

I sighed as I hugged my pillow. I am hopeful for this. I will also make sure that this will work. Sana...sana talaga.

****

"Hey."

I bit my lip to stop myself from smiling.

"Hi," I greeted Danniel. He fetched me this morning. And hindi ko alam kung bakit para akong teenager na kinikilig ngayon.

We haven't really talked about labels. But he said what he said last night. And I know him. Alam kong sa actions niya pinapadaan ang lahat. Mas lalo kong natanto na hindi talaga para sa akin ang pagmo-move on sa relasyon namin cause I wouldn't be feeling this happiness with a simple gesture.

But I am not rushing things. He was right. We should take it slow...just like before.

"Let's go, he said as he got my things and put them in the back of the car. Then he opened the front door for me. Sumakay ako roon at pinagmasdan siyang umikot papuntang driver's seat. I bit my lip. He looked dashing with his three-piece suit. Parang papunta yata siyang office after niya akong ihatid ng University.

Ang gwapo ng loko. Naka- clean cut na ang buhok niya at hindi na rin magulo. Nilingon ko siya pagkapasok niya.

"Are you going straight sa office after?" tanong ko pa.

"Yeah. I have a board meeting."

Bahagyang nangunot ang noo ko sa kanya.

"Then bakit mo pa ako sinundo?" takang tanong ko kasi hello, 9 am ang class ko tapos may board meeting siya.

He shrugged. "Cause I can."

"Male-late ka."

"I'm the boss, Laide." He smirked.

Napanganga ako. "Wow. The confidence."

He chuckled and I rolled my eyes. I looked outside.

"On a serious note, I want you to know that this will be the case now. It will always be you, then work."

Napalingon ako sa kanya, gulat ang mukha. Saglit siyang tumingin sa akin bago ibinalik ang tingin sa harapan. Nakagat ko ang aking labi at napalunok. I felt my cheeks heating up.

"Hindi naman kailangan sa lahat ng oras...we have priorities..."

"I know, but above anything else, it's you. I almost lost you when I prioritized other things before you...that's not going to happen again, Laide. I won't let you feel like you are taken for granted. If you feel like I am taking you for granted or if you don't feel good about how I act or decide, then tell me. Tell me everything that's bothering you. And I'll do the same, Laide."

Saglit niya ulit akong nilingon at saka bahagyang nginitian. Napanganga na lang ako sa sinabi niya.

Shit. Mas lalo akong naiiyak! But siyempre, I super appreciate what he said. Shit. Ang emotional ko naman! I swallowed hard when I felt his hand holding mine. Nakatingin pa rin naman siya sa daan. I smiled at him.

"I will," sabi ko pa habang nakatitig pa rin sa kanya.

Parang sasabog ang puso ko sa sobrang saya. Fuck. I will really make this work. We will make this work.

~***~

It was funny how my mood instantly changed when Danniel came back. Parang lahat ng ka-emo-han ko nang umalis siya ay nawala at napalitan ng saya. But then, it was still not okay as in okay. We were not back together yet. We didn't have a sit down talk about what will happen aside from the talk that we had in our house.

But, he was true to what he said. It was always me before everything else. Walang palya siya sa paghatid sa akin, and in the afternoon, siya rin ang sumusundo. Kaya lang may times na hindi talaga kaya ng schedule niya kasi may dinner meeting siya most of the time, so what he would dow was send his driver to fetch me and then magka-video call kami kahit naka-mute

Everything was slowly going well... and I loved it.

"Grabe parang walang nangyari sa inyo ni Dan, ah. I knew it. Nagkabalikan na kayo?" nakangising tanong ni Ate Daisy habang inaayos ang jewelry niya.

"Not yet...I mean, we're on it..." sabi ko lang at inayos din ang necklace ko

It was Tito Danny's birthday. We were already in the hotel where the party will be held. Nag-check in na kami para mas malapit na lang at malayo kasi kung sa bahay kami magbibihis. Dito na lang din pinadiretso ni Mama ang mga nag-ayos sa amin.

"On it?" tanong pa ni Ate.

I sighed and straightened on my feet. I looked at myself in the mirror. I was wearing a velvet maroon off-shoulder, mermaid cut dress. Medyo kita ang cleavage noon kasi mababa iyong off shoulder. The fit was just right to show my curves and hindi naman siya gaanong mataas since naka-heels din ako. I just paired it with thick diamond necklace and bracelet para may accent since iyong design niya is iyong velvet na mismo. No sequences or whatsoever. I preferred it that way, too para simple lang siya tingnan.

Ate Daisy was wearing a cream halter top gown naman na flowy. She wore her diamonds, too, while her hair was in a messy bun. Ako naman,nilugay ko lang ang buhok ko. Tiningnan ko si Ate Daisy and she was still looking at herself sa mirror. I sighed.

"What I mean is, back to zero," sabi ko.

Tinaasan ako ng kilay ni Ate. "Woah? Ligawan stage ulit?"

Ngumuso ako. I couldn't really call it that? But siguro somehow? Cause we are trying to relieve our getting to know stage and we haven't really talked about label...kahit na aware naman kami sa nararamdaman namin sa isa't isa.

"Parang ganoon na hindi? I can't put a label on it. I just know na back to zero kami like we are adjusting to each other, as if getting to know ourselves again and how we handle the relationship. No labels yet...just us rectifying what we should have done during the relationship." I shrugged. Ngumiwi si Ate at umiling na lang.

"Gosh, you two are more complicated than my love life."

Ako naman ang nagtaas ng kilay sa kanya. Bigla ko tuloy naalala ang tension niya kay Shun.

"May love life ka ngayon? Serious o fling?" balik ko sa kanya.

Natahimik siya at hindi agad nagsalita. Tila ayaw niyang pag-usapan iyon kaya nakagat ko ang aking labi para pigilan ang pagtawa. Umiling din ako sa kanyang reaksyon niya. Binalik ko ang tingin sa salamin.

Ilang saglit lang at pumasok na si Mama sa room namin para i-check kami ni Ate.

"Ma," tawag ko pa.

"You guys ready?" tanong pa niya. Tumango lang kami ni Ate. Nakipag-selfie pa ang ate ko sa amin ni Mama.

"Sina Ate Mina, Ma?" si Ate habang pababa kami.

"Nasa ballroom na kasama ang papa n'yo." Tumango lang kami ni Ate. May nag-assist sa amin papunta sa ballroom ng hotel.

I was looking at my phone while we were in the elevator. Danniel texted me that he was there na sa ballroom. Nag-send pa siya ng mirror selfie. I couldn't help but smile. I matched his tie color kaya rin ako naka-maroon na gown.

"This way, Ma'am..." sabi ng nag-assist sa amin.

Ngumiti ako sa kanya at tumango.

"Thank you," sabi naman ni Mama at Ate tapos ay pumasok na kami.

The ballroom was huge. The motif was a shade of red, gold and black. It was an intimate party pero medyo marami pa rin naman ang nandoon. I wouldn't be surprised kasi maraming friends si Tito Danny.

"Your father is there. Come on," rinig kong sabi ni Mama kaya sumunod na kami ni Ate sa kanya. Nandoon na rin ang mga ate namin kasama ang mga boyfriend nila.

"Wala si Kuya?" tanong ko kay Ate Wayven.

"Late," sagot niya. Tumango na lang ako. Inilinga ko ang mga mata sa paligid habang busy sina Papa at ang mga boyfriend ng mga kapatid ko na mag-usap tungkol sa business.

I continued looking around for Danniel pero si Dene ang nakita ko. She was wearing a bodycon gold gown with glitters and she paired it with a strappy stiletto. Naka-ponytail ang buhok niya at may hawak siyang handbag.

Agad akong lumapit sa kanya. "Dene," tawag ko pa. Lumingon siya sa akin at agad akong ngumiti sa kanya.

"Ate Mer! OMG!" Natawa ako nang tumakbo siya sa akin at niyakap ako.

"Ang ganda mo!" sabi ko sa kanya.

Ngumuso siya at tiningnan din ako mula ulo hanggang paa. "Grabe, paano na lang ikaw? Ate ang hot mo!"

Napairap ako at tumawa lang ulit. I looked around again. "Si Kuya?" tanong ni Dene.

Ngumuso ako at tumango sa kanya. "He's here na raw," sabi ko, recalling his text.

"Hmm, baka may kausap lang, Ate."

"Hey, gorgeous."

Pareho kaming natigilan ni Dene nang marinig iyon. Agad na ngumisi si Dene sa akin nang maramdaman kong may tumabi. When I turned to him, I was met by his smile. He was wearing a black suit and a maroon tie. His hair was cleanly brushed, which made his face more defined. I bit my lip and gave him a smile, too.

His hands were in his pockets. I bit my lip as he looked at me from head to toe. Nag-init ang mukha ako kaya alam kong namumula na ang mukha ko.

"Ehem. So alis na ako, ha," Dene said pa. Tiningnan ko lang ang palayo na si Dene. I didn't know why I felt awkward na kami na lang ni Danniel ang nandoon

I took a deep breath and looked at him. "You look nice," sabi ko pa, still smiling at him.

Ngumisi siya. "You, too, Laide."

"Thanks..."

Lumunok ako. Dang. Hindi ko talaga alam kung bakit sobrang awkward! I was about to say something when Danniel spoke first.

"Uhh you wanna greet Dad?" he said. Tumango na lang ako. I cleared my throat. Medyo nag-alangan pa siyang ipulupot ang kanyang kamay sa baywang ko but in the end, he did.

"Dad," he called nang makalapit kami kay Tito. He was talking to some friends nang madatnan namin.

"Hello po, Tito. Happy birthday po," I greeted Tito. Bumeso ako sa kanya tapos kay Tita.

"Oh ang pretty naman, Merian!" Tita said. I just smiled at her and hugged her, too. "Ohh, mga amigas, this is Dan's only love," pagmamalaki pa ni Tita sa mga babaeng nandoon na ikinalaki ng mga mata ko.

Mabilis kong nakita ang pagkagat niya ng labi tapos mas lumapit siya sa amin ni Tita.

"Mom, I'll borrow Merian for a while," sabi niya pa kay Tita. Sobrang hiyang-hiya na talaga ako na gusto ko na lang maging hotdog!

"Oh, okay, hijo. Sige. Enjoy the party."

Hindi na ako nag-angat pa ng tingin at hinayaan na lang na higitin ako ni Danniel paalis doon. Ughhh. Pulang-pula na naman ang mukha ko for sure.

"Pft. Why are you shy? Mom was just telling the truth," narinig ko pang sabi ni Danniel habang naglalakad kami paalis. Mas lalong nag-init ang mukha ko at agad siyang tiningnan pero ang loko nakatingin lang sa kawalan na para bang walang naririnig.

Tinampal ko ag braso niya pero humalakhak lang ulit siya at umiling bago ako hinalikan ang ulo ko. "Come on, let's dance," aniya pa kasabay ng pagtugtog ng classical music. Nag-dim ang ilaw nang mapalitan ng sweet song ang tugtog.

Iginiya ako ni Danniel sa gitna. I sighed and slowly guided my hands to his shoulders habang ang mga kamay niya naman ay nasa baywang ko. We started swaying. I bit my lip and I couldn't look at him kasi titig na titig siya sa akin. Damn it.

Ilang saglit pa at marami nang sumama as dance floor. I sighed when he pulled me even closer na parang nagha-hug na kami. I just let him though. I closed my eyes as I felt him kissing my head again.

Nang huminto ang tugtog at nagsalita na ang Mcee ay agad ring akong hinila ni Danniel sa may tabi. All eyes were in front at magkakantahan na yata. Danniel was still holding me by the waist. Nakasandal ako sa kanyang gilid. We were watching the Mcee giving the welcome address hanggang sa tinawag na nga nito si Tito.

"May we also request the family to come up for the singing." Umayos ako nang tayo at nilingon si Danniel. Napabuntonghininga na lang siya.

"I'll be back," sabi niya pa at saka pumunta sa stage.

"Okay, everyone, let us all sing a birthday song to our birthday celebrant!"

The whole ballroom sang while Tito and his family were there. I couldn't help but smile. Danniel was still not warm with Tito but at least, may progress. I sighed and clapped my hands to join them in singing. I was in that position when I felt like someone was watching me. Hindi ko napigilang mapalingon, and there I saw AJ looking at me intensely.

I swallowed hard and tried to smile at him when our gazes met. Hindi ko alam pero parang may kumirot sa dibdib ko habang nakatingin sa kanya. I hope he will soon find peace with the Montijos. After all, he is still their family. Kahit hindi maging close talaga, but really, I want him to find peace in his heart. I don't want him to be hurt.

Umayos ako nang tayo nang makita ko siyang lumapit sa akin. I smiled again.

"Hey," he greeted.

"Hi."