Boy howdy

Third person pov

Tenya wonders if fifteen is too young for a heart attack. 

He thinks he might be in some form of shock. He thinks most of them are considering what just just happened. In a shower of glass, ice, and fire, Kit had descended down upon the villains like it was an entirely regular thing to smash through the dome roof of an official UA training facility. It is not, in fact, regular. But getting attacked within your first week of school isn't either, so he digresses.

"Was that my mother?" Shoto Todoroki asked, voice distant in the same way Tenya's mind felt. He stared down at the offending bracelet on his wrist that had started this all, internally debating whether or not he should take it off. "I think that was my mother."

"What? Of course it wasn't." Izuku said completely unconvincingly, typing away rapidly on his phone. The shock blanket they'd tried to put around his shoulders had been hastily discarded. Was Tenya the only one of them effected by this? "Tenya, look. They got him home!"

It was a selfie of Inko, Rei, and Denise. Denise was too tall for his head to be in the shot but his bulky frame was unmistakable. Shoto looked over the green haired boy's shoulder, staring at the screen with squinted eyes.

The news was already blowing up. Tenya wasn't sure he'd ever been so stressed in his entire life. He'd thought Kit's first moonlighting as a vigilante had been too much to handle, but this? Socks' name was everywhere! And it didn't help that Mina kept tweeting about it! Apparently she'd taken the time to take photos-- you didn't need cell service to do that.

On one hand, Kit had saved them. Which was great. Truly, really, Tenya was glad he'd been there. There's no telling what might've happened if they hadn't shown up. On the other, why had they shown up?! It was illegal! They were going to get arrested-- it was bad enough that he'd brought Endeavor's wife, whom they'd abducted, along!

"That looks like my mom." Shoto frowned as Izuku pointedly wiggled the phone, trying to get Tenya to respond. The taller teen just stared blankly down, mind whirring so fast it had basically stopped working all together. 

"Definitely not your mom." Izuku said, even though it was definitely his mom. "Besides, you haven't seen her in forever. What if you don't remember what she looks like?"

Shoto made a face. Izuku paused, seemingly realizing his misstep here. Tenya buried his face in his hands. He wanted to call Kit and ask if he was okay, but they were surrounded by police. He didn't want to say anything incriminating. 

"How do you know that?" Shoto frowned. 

Izuku pursed his lips. Thought about it for a second. Nodded.

"I didn't, but you just confirmed it." He decided to go with. Shoto made a noise of discontent but didn't seem to have it in him to argue. Tenya could understand that. He himself did not have much left in him to do... well. Anything at all, actually.

Was he aiding a criminal? Tenya was an accomplice. To vigilantism, and to abduction, and to a whole lot of other crimes he was pretty sure. Not to mention they'd taken Denise with them when they left. Probably for the best-- taking him from the crime scene was better than them trying to break him out of jail later, but even so...

Maybe Tenya should just give up on following the rules. With Kit involved, all worrying over these things is going to do is shave years off his lifespan. This is how Kit is. Tenya loves and accepts him no matter what, even if he may induce Tenya into having an aneurysm one day. 

On the bright side, now that they'd found Denise, Kit would have no reason to go out looking for him anymore, right? No more vigilantism, accidental or not! Kit could stay safe inside, doing his online schoolwork and managing the magazine. Peacefully. And without danger of getting stabbed, or shot, or arrested.

...Was that wishful thinking on his part? Probably wishful thinking. Oh well. He's not going to think about it. Ignorance is bliss. He'll just lure himself into a false sense of security and, uh... cope? 

"I should look it up." Tenya muttered to himself. Online articles had never failed him before, why would they now? There was a step-by-step for just about everything out there. Surely he could find something pertaining to this issue. "But what would I even search up? Perhaps... how to cope with boyfriend breaking the law? Living a life of crime? Or perhaps being reckless. That's a broader spectrum, isn't it?"

Tenya heard a squeak from behind him and immediately tensed. He turned slow, as though the speed at which he did might delay the inevitable. Rather immature of him, he knows, but he's had a day. He's not sure he can handle much more.

Though, it doesn't seem he'll have a choice. Ashido and Uraraka were stood right behind him, huddled together, their eyes wide. They both stared at him with glittering irises. Tenya smiles tightly at them, though he knows his own eyes are screaming. Were Izuku's muttering habits beginning to leech over to him?

(Clearly, they were. Tenya wasn't going to make it through the day. And if he did, he'd be finished by the end of the week, he was quite certain. This... was too much. He wanted a pillow to scream into. He wondered if Momo would be kind enough to provide him with one if he asked.)

For a moment, none of them said anything. Izuku had drifted off to god knows where, still texting rapidly and rebutting any and all of Todoroki's theories, questions, and attempts to find out what the hell just happened. Tenya has decided that Izuku is not his true friend because of such, because a true friend would not abandon him to the wolves like this after such a traumatic experience.

"Iida..." Ochako trailed off, tone low but excited. She and Mina leaned closer. Tenya leaned back and debated the pros and cons of booking it right here and now. That would be an admittance of guilt though, wouldn't it? "We may have totally heard wrong--"

"We totally didn't." Ashido butt in, voice hushed but charged with anticipation, like she could hardly contain herself. 

"--but did you just say you had a boyfriend?" Uraraka finished, ignoring Mina's interruption. The pink-skinned girl bit her lip and let out a high-pitched squeal. Tenya squinted at them.

Boyfriend... they were asking about that? Nothing about the breaking the law? The life of crime? The recklessness? All the implications he had made to incriminate himself and Kit? He'd essentially just announced to them that Kit was one of the mysterious vigilantes who'd come to their aid!

Unless... they hadn't heard that part? Tenya squinted some more. His luck had been so poor lately, surely it wasn't about to turn around now. Unless it... was? That seemed... false, but he supposes he shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth.

Besides, he needs to stay optimistic. Kit at least wore a mask and sunglasses this time around. He'd been... disguised. Ish. He hadn't even directly interacted with he and Izuku much, so Tenya thought that was fairly good, right? He'd only called him darling once! And Tenya had only sputtered a little bit! 

"Yes. I have a boyfriend." Tenya chopped a hand as he said it, voice somewhat tense. For some reason, the both of them gasped. Tenya inched backwards slowly. "One whom I must... call. To let know I am okay. Because he obviously would not know. Since he is not here and never was."

That was convincing, wasn't it? He feels so wrongfooted and uncertain all of a sudden. Tenya was going to need to have a talk with Kit later. A very long and serious one. One he feared he would need to bring Rei and Dabi into, as they clearly weren't helping things along by running with Kit's schemes. What they were doing-- it was far too dangerous!

"Iida has a boyfriend!" Ashido quietly shrieked, either ignoring what he was saying or not hearing it to begin with. She beamed at him. "Don't worry, Iida! Your secret is safe with us!" 

Tenya tensed. So they did know?

"Yeah!" Uraraka exclaimed before glancing around, lowering her voice sheepishly. She gave Tenya an apologetic smile. "We won't tell anyone, Iida!"

Tenya stared. Stared some more. And they just... giggled and reached over to pat him on the back before turning and skipping off, chattering happily as they went. As though they were not all just attacked by villains and almost died. 

Tenya watched them go and came to the conclusion that they would very likely get along great with Kit. He would not set in stone any decisions not to introduce them-- doing so was a sure-fire way to ensure they did bump into one another, because Tenya's luck seems to have a running poor streak lately. So for now he'll just let sleeping dogs lie.

"What was that about?" Izuku asked from his side. Tenya jumped slightly, turning to look down at him with wild eyes. When had he gotten back? "Also, we need to go. Some detective with a lie-detector quirk is here to question everyone. He's sort of caught up with Aizawa-sensei right now, but you know. Only a matter of time with the whole Denise situation and all..."

Tenya brought his hands up to his face and groaned.

~~

"It was Kittrick Suzuko." Aizawa repeated for what had to be the millionth time now. Tsukauchi tapped his pen against his notepad, lips pursed. Aizawa didn't waver, though his eye did twitch. "You have a lie detector quirk. You know I'm telling the truth."

Tsukauchi's answering smile was on par with most people's customer service face. Completely fake. So tired. Didn't even begin to reach his eyes. It made Aizawa want to reach out and strangle him.

"Eraserhead, I understand that you wholeheartedly believe you know the identity of the vigilante, Socks." Tsukauchi said it gently, like Aizawa was in a fragile state and having delusions or something. "But you... you do know how crazy it sounds, right? The quirkless fifteen year old owner of a multi-million dollar magazine brand is, for some reason, a vigilante who happened to crash the USJ attack and save you all? Without wearing shoes?"

When he put it like that, sure. Aizawa understood why Tsukauchi may assume he was imagining things. The only issue was that Shota is, in fact, not imaging things. The evidence is irrefutable. The fact that Kittrick Suzuko had gone on Mic's show and hadn't had shoes. The fact that he had mentioned his quote-on-quote 'missing friend', the very same one that had been here, the very same one that--

Wait. 

Shota paused. Rewound through the events of the morning. Kittrick Suzuko had gone onto Mic's show, providing a photo of his missing friend. Said missing friend was the 'nomu' at the USJ. Kittrick Suzuko had come and gotten said friend, but before that--

"Iida and Midoriya." Aizawa realized. They'd recognized, had stopped, the... uh, their friend from attacking. Midoriya had hugged the thing. And if they knew it, and Kittrick Suzuko knew it... then clearly they had to know one another. "Iida and Midoriya-- they knew the nomu. They'll be able to tell you."

Tsukauchi looked interested at that, perking up slightly at the prospect of actual, solid proof. Aizawa's certainty alone wasn't enough, but his certainty supported by witness accounts? That, Tsukauchi could work with. Aizawa pivoted on his heel, eyes flying across his scattered students searchingly. 

Ashido and Uraraka were giggling. Todoroki was standing by himself squinting at the ground. Bakugo was strangely pale and looked like he may throw up, not responding to Kirishima's attempts to prod at him. Sero and Tokoyami were with Asui, and-- where the hell were they? They hadn't been hurt, so there's no way an ambulance had taken them away. 

Iida wouldn't have run off without being questioned-- he was too much of a rule follower. Aizawa had the impression that Midoriya was too at least to an extent. Reckless, sure, but not in the 'evade the police' type of way. Surely... Surely they hadn't just left.

Had they?

(Shota had a feeling that, either way, this was going to be a long, long year.)

~~~~ 

Was it a bad way to go about things? Yeah, probably. Kit can admit that much. Is it the craziest shit he's ever done? Absolutely not, no, not even close. 

He'd literally broken Pro Hero Endeavor's (soon to be ex) wife out of the mental ward using... whatever Denise was. And that was after breaking into said pro hero's house to steal one of his suits. A little bit of on-the-side vigilantism wasn't a huge deal, even if UA was involved. Who gave a damn? They weren't special.

It had been over a lot quicker than you're probably thinking. Apparently Denise was like, their secret weapon or something. Only Kit and his side were nice to Denise and treated him like the living, (maybe?) thinking being that he was, so obviously he'd listened to them over those fucking bozos who'd referred to him as a tool to be mindlessly ordered around.

Rei and Dabi were a devastating team. They balanced one another out, fire hot enough to melt, ice cold enough to stop the world in place. Dabi kept his mother from getting too cold, and she kept him from overheating. When they worked together they could create natural disasters on a smaller scale, forces of nature that swirled together into unstoppable maelstroms of heat and ice.

It's only because of them that things went as smooth as they did. Do you know what happens when super cold air gets suddenly heated up to the nth degree? Because Kit didn't, but he sure as fuck does now. They're lucky the explosion didn't hurt anyone important. Just some fifty or so villains, all of which had gotten some impressive airtime. The screams were music to his ears.

Kit had done less ass kicking, more grabbing Denise, doing a welfare check on his boyfriend, and bolting. He did take a few crotch shots. The most memorable had been some crusty blue haired guy who'd hissed at him like a rabid rodent of some kind, declaring that he was using cheat codes. His shriek had almost blown out Kit's eardrums when he did finally get a good kick in, but fuck if it hadn't been absolutely hilarious.

So, anyway. Day was saved, they were badass-- is there really anything more to it? Katsuki definitely knew it was him, so Kit was going to need to run interference on that. He was pretty sure his cousin was going to keep his trap shut, too prideful to be a snitch, but Kit was never one to pass up a chance to scare the ever loving shit out of him.

"Tenya's going to be so goddamn mad." Kit cackled, tossing his sunglasses blindly off to the side once they'd finally made it back safe to their loosely established home base: Chad's hospital room. "Totally worth it, though. That was badass. And now Rei's going to be all over the news-- as the better Endeavor, obviously." 

Rei smiled genially, though there was a smug glint in her eye as she pulled her brunette hair over her shoulder and began to braid it. Hawks looked up from his basket of fried chicken, evidently here on his lunch break. He blinked owlishly at them.

Dabi sighed heavily. He was pretty critical for a guy that looked like a piece of burnt rubber. You know when a car's tire blows out and there's strips of it left all up and down the side of the road? Yeah, his scars look like that shit, but purple. He'd clearly never heard of burn cream in his life. 

"What happened to you three?" Hawks asked after a hefty swallow, eyes darting between them. Which... was fair. Kit looked flawless, obviously, but Rei was struggling to gather her frizzy hair back together and into some semblance of a functioning style and Dabi was... well, Dabi.  

"Gatecrashed the USJ." Dabi grunted out, collapsing into one of the many chairs in Chad's room. His eyes shifted over to the comatose man, who was as unmoving as ever. His heartrate tracker remained a steady pulse, and his brainwave monitor was unchanged, showing no irregularities. 

Hawks squinted, not seeming to mind when Rei plucked one of the chicken wings from his meal for herself. Kit stretched, reveling in the way his back cracked. Fuck, he needed to get back into yoga. What if he lost his delicious calf muscles? Or his flexibility? Not acceptable.

"It's one of UA's training facilities." Rei explained when Hawks continued squinting. She took a  bite of her pilfered chicken. "Class 1-A was having an exercise there today, but they were unfortunately attacked. Luckily, we were in the area!" 

They hadn't been in the area. They had broken the speed limit and several other traffic laws to get there. Thank god Kit had the foresight to pry the license plates off before they left. He'd have to file the vin number off and dump it somewhere. No way were they keeping it after that... unless one of them could re-wrap it to be another color? 

Izuku knew how to do all sorts of shit, and the shit he didn't know he could usually learn. Maybe he could salvage it. Repayment for not letting him get murdered by Fuckhands McMike and his Purple People Eating companion.

"O-Oh, wow! Was anyone hurt?" Hawks asked, looking mildly alarmed. It was clear as day he still felt somewhat awkward around Rei, unsure of what to do or what to say with her hovering at his side. Dabi snickered at him openly, pointedly ignoring the glare he got by pretending to be interested in something on his phone. 

"Nobody important. On the bright side, we did find Denise. Turns out he got abducted by the fuckers behind the attack. Crazy coincidence, right?"  Kit hummed. Hawks didn't look very comforted by this, eyeing Rei's benign smile like it was something to fear. Honestly? Not too far off the mark. "Anyway, I'm ordering Uber Eats. So if anyone wants something say it now, or forever hold y--"

There was a shrill beep. All of them froze, heads whipping towards Chad's bed. Or more specifically, towards his brainwave monitor.

There was a massive spike on the screen, even bigger than the ones they'd seen when they played music for him. Nobody dared to move. Kit wasn't even sure any of them were breathing, all of them watching with wide eyes as the monitor gave another beep, and then another. In the bed, Chad twitched.

It sort of felt a bit like the world had slowed down, leaving them to witness everything in sluggish motion. Chad's face scrunched up, reminiscent of the way Kit's would when someone tried to wake him up before his alarm. Hawks let out an audible squeak as his brother shifted slightly, body twitching. Kit very slowly reached for his phone, sort of wanting to document the moment. 

But Chad's eyes didn't open at all. Instead he just grunted again, shifted weakly to the side, and... pushed himself up slightly on a single, shaking arm. Rei gasped slightly, because though not a monumental action by most standards, Chad literally hadn't moved for the past... however long he'd been in his coma. 

"Ch-Chad?" Hawks stuttered out, voice quiet and high-pitched. His wings fluttered and expanded seemingly without him meaning them to, feathers rustling anxiously behind them. He looked teary-eyed and sounded it too, tone watery. He gulped, almost as though afraid to ruin the sudden progress, taking the smallest of steps forward. "Ch-Chad, a-are you... can you h-hear me?" 

He looked so painfully hopeful as he asked it. Which was fair, seeing as there really hadn't been any hope of Chad ever waking up after what had happened to him. To have movement? Not just a shift of the hand, or movement of the head, or fluttering of his eyelashes, but for him to partially sit up?

Kit had to stop himself from throwing his hands up and cheering in victory.

Chad grunted again, smacked around with an uncoordinated hand, and then... flipped his pillow. And then he flopped back down on it, dead limp. His heart monitor immediately dropped back down, so fast Kit would've thought they imagined the entire thing if not for the evidence still flashing in the top right corner of the screen. 

It was inappropriate. Like, so not the time. Hawks was beginning to sob, face in his hands. Rei had already wrapped an arm around him to comfort him, pulling him away gently as nurses popped in, pagers held in tight hands. Dabi was gawking a little, staring in complete disbelief that looked entirely out of place on his face.

And Kit... Kit burst out laughing. 

~~~

Next chapter is out on patreon and 

There's also uhhh a two-part series where Kit and Tenya first meet in their dreams (it's called Autumn Dreams). Tenya doesn't think Kit is real at first until they finally get to meet in person. One of my favorite tropes

There's a lil soulmate one shot, some time travel headcanons, one where Iida gets stuck in the canon dimension and Kit has to come with him. I think that's about it for feral, but there's a ton of other BNHA stuff in there-- Oc stuff, and just plain AU