BRIE

          Everyone loves the Prices.

          I'm moments away from exploding.

          It's one thing to learn your older brother is engaged. That's something you can expect, especially when you know he's been in a committed relationship for a considerable period of time; that's the natural path of things for most people. Heck, I'd be lying if I said that's not something I've ever found myself wishing for; after all, I can be professionally successful and be in a loving relationship at the same time. They're not mutually exclusive, and I'm allowed to make that choice for myself.

          However, that's me.

          However, Dante Sheridan is not most people.

          Much like Rhett, he's been perpetually single and anti-commitment for most of his life. He's also an open book, not to mention I always trusted us to be honest with each other, all three of us—me, him, and Flint—so I can't help but feel the selfish stab of betrayal pierce me right through the heart. The fact that he's been in a relationship this whole time and never told me is hurtful, especially when he's been seeing Lorelai Price, out of all people.

          When I was bawling in his arms on Thanksgiving over Rhett, he could have said something, yet he didn't. He stood there, watching me weep like a goddamn banshee, and was dating my boyfriend's sister. Never once did he think it was relevant to mention, not even in passing, and now I have to find out they're engaged during Christmas dinner just because he believed it was the perfect way to shatter the awkwardness that had befallen the table after my mom's unintentionally tactless question.

          Like the emotional fool that I am, I swallow my stupid, pathetic tears as my eyes lock with Flint's.

          He doesn't wear his heart on his sleeve, unlike Dante and I, in spite of his annoying tendency to put his foot in his mouth, but this is one of the rare occasions where the shock in his face reflects mine. If he didn't know something this important about his own twin brother, why am I overestimating my importance in this situation? Shouldn't Flint have been the first to know?

          "I'm sorry, what?" Vanessa gasps, voicing the question everyone wants to ask but hasn't quite managed to find the words yet. "When did this happen? Since when have you two been together?"

          "Look, it's not a big deal," Lorelai says, in a feeble attempt to ease the tension. Everything in me hurts, especially my heart, and the hand Rhett keeps on my thigh isn't helping. I know he's trying, much like I'm certain he didn't know about the engagement either, but the fact that we're being as secretive as our older siblings were about their own relationship is ironic, to say the least, and not in a hehe funny kind of way. "It's one of those things that just . . . happen, you know? When you grow up being so close to someone, it's a miracle you two don't end up together or enemies for life. With us, it just so happened to be the former."

          Despite knowing Lorelai is talking about herself and Dante, I'm self-obsessed enough to wonder if the same thing would apply to Rhett and me.

          We've been so close for so long, known each other all our lives; would those have been the only two potential solutions for the two of us? Even after the Dark Days, even while I nursed my broken heart and he pretended not to notice, even while he went through his own share of life-shattering romantic entanglements, we were still orbiting in and out of each other's lives.

          When we weren't speaking, it felt heartbreakingly definite, the enemies for life Lorelai mentioned, and I even promised myself I would never let him close enough to break me again. Now that I have let him back in—I didn't even leave the door open; I simply gave him the key and let him do whatever he wants with it—it's a bit strange to think this either ends in a break-up or in us spending the rest of our lives together.

          Isn't that all I've ever wanted, though? A love story worth of a fairy tale? A love story people write romance books and screenplays for romantic comedies based off of?

          It's scary to think about the future. I've always been putting myself and said future first, prioritizing my hypothetical career in photography above all else, but I also want Rhett to be a part of that future. I don't know exactly how we'll make it work if both our dreams work out; he'll be flying around the country for his games and press tours, while I'll mostly have to remain in the same place, grow roots, and settle.

          I don't want us to settle for each other, but there are key elements of our dreams that feel incompatible the longer I think about them, and it's eating at me to consider the possibility of us breaking up for good. If either of us—or both of us—forces themselves to sacrifice our dreams for the sake of the relationship, I know there will be underlying resentment, no matter how hard we attempt to fool ourselves into believing we're immune to it. We're only human, after all; I want to believe we're better than that, though, and I know I would never forgive myself if I watched him miss out on the career he's always wanted and has been fighting so hard for just because he thinks that's what I want.

          I want him to be happy, with or without me. 

          Preferably with me, of course, but . . .

          "I still think you two should have given us a heads up instead of randomly dropping the bomb during Christmas dinner," my mom wisely points out. Meanwhile, I'm seconds away from developing a crippling phobia of choking on anything I put in my mouth, so I set down my silver cutlery to resist the urge to eat, in spite of my still growling stomach. "It's not that we think you two don't know better or that you should break up—"

          "Not happening, Mom," Dante chimes in, right before gulping down a forkful of his cauliflower wellington. He has the decency to swallow everything before continuing, "We're very happy, thank you ever so much. Keep it up and you might get an invite to the wedding. Might."

          "Very funny," Dad deadpans. Dante shoots him a playful wink. "We're obviously happy for you; we're just . . . surprised. I mean, I don't think anyone could have seen it coming, but, as long as you're happy too . . ."

          Lorelai flicks her wrist, looking cooler and more laid back than I could ever be—permanently stressed out and concern with what other people think of me. "Don't mind him. We've kept everything on the down low, so it really is fine that no one picked up on whatever hints we might have given off. I've never been one to enjoy grandiose gestures or unnecessary public displays of affection, anyway. We've been discreet."

          "The proposal was an exception," Dante continues, lacing his fingers with hers, and my heart skips a thousand beats when I'm reminded of Rhett's own hand on my thigh. He keeps it there, steady, reassuring. "I even flew to D.C. for my girl."

          Lorelai wrinkles her nose, but there's a faint hint of a smile dancing on her mouth. "I think flying over just to see me and propose was a big enough gesture as is. You didn't have to stage a flash mob."

          "I didn't have to, but I wanted to." He presses a gentle kiss to her knuckles. "You deserved it."

          She playfully elbows him in the ribs, throwing him a look overflowing with so much love and affection that I fear I'll collapse. I've seen Rhett look at me like that, in spite of it all, and it gives me hope that we'll get through this. It's just a rough patch. We've been through worse.

          I desperately want to believe that, with every fiber of my being. I've always been desperate for reciprocity, for an opportunity to receive the same love I'm always so willing to give to other people, and, now that I'm sitting next to someone who will drop everything to do so, I'm terrified of it. I've never known what it's like to be in this position, giving more than I get, and the unfamiliar territory feels like an imminent heart attack.

          I've gotten burnt way too many times, but maybe this is a good way to burn. I was the one to bring up the fire between us, anyway.

          "But you're so far from each other," Daniel remarks. The anchor in my heart sinks even deeper and I'm drowning. If both Rhett and I achieve our goals, we, too, would have to find a way to make it work in spite of the physical distance. I don't want to trap him in a relationship because he thinks that's what I want; I know I should be honest with him and tell him my feelings, my fears, but I'm scared it might scare him off. "You've been making it work all this time? No problem?"

          "When you want it to work out, you put in the extra effort," Dante calmly explains. "You need to learn to compromise, to make smarter choices, to trust each other." This time, he's looking right at me. "If it's worth the pain, it's also worth the fight."

          I gulp. Next to me, Rhett straightens, looks at me, and I nod.

          Have we not prolonged this for too long?

          "Sorry to steal the spotlight, but I also wanted to say something," he begins, voice raspy for being quiet for so long. He clears his throat. "This really is stealing the spotlight, right? Since—"

          "Brooke, are you pregnant?" Mom questions, paling.

          I choke on a still warm bun. "What the hell, Mom?"

          "She's not pregnant," Rhett rushes to say, searching my face for confirmation, even though we have yet to sleep together. "We're just—well, we—"

          "We're dating and have been for a while and I'm really sorry for not telling you earlier, but I was scared of how you'd react," I complete, before we both lose our courage. My parents' mouths drop open, while the Prices and Dante do a comically over the top imitation of their expressions. Flint remains blank faced, thankfully. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Daniel, Vanessa, and Lorelai knew, and so did Dante and Flint, but it was different with you two, and I'm a gigantic hypocrite and a coward and—"

          Mom throws her hands in the air in frustration. "Brie, we want you to be happy! That's it! We understand you were scared and why you didn't tell us, but we would have understood. We understand." She takes a deep breath, placing a hand on her chest, right above her heart. "Now, if no one has any more earth-shattering news to deliver, can we please—"

          "I'm failing Biochemistry," Flint reveals.

          "Try removing the stick that's up your ass, try touching grass," Dante tells him. "It might help."

ᓚᘏᗢ

          Rhett kisses me outside my house.

          There's mistletoe hanging by the door, but I don't doubt he would have done it regardless. I throw all caution and decency to the wind by throwing my arms around his neck instead, meeting him halfway for a passionate kiss, and, in that moment in time, we're the only people in the world. Nothing else matters—not my brothers, not my parents, not Cole, not even Magnolia. There's just him and me, in love, like we've never been apart.

          And still, I can't quite shake off my fears. I can't quite shake off the thought that there's something about to blow up right in my face—even if I have no reason to feel that way.

ᓚᘏᗢ

          Rhett Price will be my New Year's Eve kiss.

          Because of course.

          He still doesn't like parties, but attends Paige's for my sake and Andy's, who's still nursing a shattered heart. Rhett argues he wants to make sure no one messes with me (Cole is on the blacklist and won't be making an appearance regardless), which I both appreciate and use as an argument that I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself, but he also wants to keep an eye on his best friend. That, I understand.

          Nancy and Ripley act like shy teenage girls with a crush around each other, which is adorable in my eyes and frustrating in Nancy's, as she wants something to happen, but is scared of misreading the signs.

          She comes to me for advice, adding a quick comment about how I know more about romance than anyone else she knows, and I make the conscious decision to attribute that to my love for all things romance—books, TV shows, movies, every piece of media my hands can grab, my fantasies, my daydreams—instead of my fair share of catastrophic relationships and their demise.

          I tell her to just go for it. Neither of them will take the first step, dancing around their feelings lie they're playing a game of hot potato without using their hands, and being powerless to actually do something to help out my roommate fills me with a sense of uselessness that wrecks me from the inside. I know she doesn't want me to actively get involved, but I'm already in too deep, too invested in someone's love story besides my own, and I never know when to quit.

          "Talk to her," I tell Nancy, for the millionth time this evening, as I prepare my usual soda cocktail, determined to stay away from alcohol. Not only does it leave me annoyingly clingy and motormouth-y, but I also know Rhett doesn't like intoxicated people in general, so it's a good decision on every front. Nancy has been shooting longing glances at Ripley from across every room since we got to the co-ed frat house and I need her to do something about it before I scream. "Seriously, Nance. Every second you spend glued to me wishing you were with her is a second wasted."

          She heaves out a deep sigh, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. Tonight, she hasn't bothered to hide her freckles behind a layer of foundation. "I mean, yeah, I know that, but what if . . ."

          "What if what?" I clench my teeth around the bottle cap, struggling to open the bottle with my hands. Coke bottle 1, Brie 0.

          "What if it doesn't work out?"

          "And what if it does?"

          She squares her shoulders, taking a deep breath. "I know. I want it to work out so badly I can taste it."

          "Go get your girl. It's exactly what you would tell me to do if the roles were reversed."

          "That's true"—she taps her lips with her index finger, pensive—"and you got your dream guy anyway, so I should probably learn a thing or two from you, right?"

          I chuckle. "I wouldn't go down without a fight."

          Nancy goes after her girl, just like I went after my guy. To the surprise of absolutely no one in the world, things do work out for her and Ripley, and I'm back to my dreamland, where nothing can hurt me and I easily fall into Rhett's arms by the time midnight rolls around.

          Dream Girl meets Dream Guy.

          Dream Girl doesn't want to wake up to a nightmare.

‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.

hello! i'm home for the weekend from inpatient treatment if you're reading this the day it's published (august 31st) and somehow managed to dish out an entire chapter. SHOCKER.

what if i told you we're nearing the end. what then. hehehehehehehehe.

hehe.

:)