A/N: This is part one of my Felix redemption arc I am starting.

What if Regina took Felix's heart instead of Pan?

Summary:

Felix, Peter Pan's right hand man was given a second chance to live in an orphanage. With a strange bond to Y/N he tries to reconnect to the world and find a purpose again.No matter the effort, people will think of him as a villain. He  has a hard time breaking out of his cycle, hoping to become someone good that deserves a happy ending.

Felix took a sharp breath. He felt a stinging pain from inside of his chest, overwhelming him in waves as if his heart was being pressed together too tightly by the weight of his own flesh. Only that there was no such thing like a heart beating inside Felix's chest anymore.

"Now it belongs to me. You see, when you take a heart, it becomes enchanted. Stronger than a normal heart. You're not hurting the beast. You're controlling it." Regina had said when she took it from him. Felix was smart enough to tell she had copied the exact phrasing from the dark one. She had been a student of his, a good one so he was aware of, for  that he never underestimated the dark queen. Besides, he never held a personal grudge towards her. After all, it was Peter who truly betrayed him, and if it was not for Y/N's idea to let the evil queen take his heart first, he would have probably died that night. Something inside him had already told him that Peter wanted to kill him, so Y/N only proved a point with that, but also made him lose the only friend he ever had. The empty feeling afterwards was enough reason to want his heart back. Felix knew that something inside him was missing, now it was even clearer to him. With it, he would have this amazing warm feeling of being free, but with an empty chest to walk around, there was not even a little spark glowing up. It would give him hope. Felix brought his hand up to his chest, just to check one more time for a sound of a beating. Nothing. He just felt like an empty shell. He felt no difference after tricking Pan, and maybe it was exactly that disturbing him the most. He puzzled about an eventual deeper meaning to it, assuming that he was that cold to begin with. 

I killed my only friend. 

"Come back!" He felt that stinging pain once more, and just like a soldier in trance he strutted all the way back through the cold forest, leaving the spring behind. He tried not to look down onto his hands, knowing that he should not expect to see anything else but red. With Peter raging about the missing heart Felix could barely fight against his magic, so he had to grab for that edgy stone. He was just glad that he was not in Henry's body anymore.

Readers P.O.V.:

The second Felix returned, Y/N's eyes widened. His face was sprinkled in blood, and his hands were fully covered with it. He had this empty look in his eyes when they met Y/N's. They instinctively searched for the most familiar face, before his eyes darted to the evil queen.

"I am done with Pan." Felix said with a deadpan face. "Now return my heart, witch." 

Regina's face twitched at his tone, " And why would I do that?"

Felix pressed his teeth together, his jaws visibly tightening. For a second he just glared at her through squinted eyes, no words crossing his lips. Y/N looked over to Regina, holding his heart with a satisfied grin. It was just then that Y/N finally realized that he did not respond because he was not able to.

"Give it back to him." She said pleadingly. "Please."

Regina huffed and let her arm sink before she turned to the girl, "Are you for real? After everything you want to let him go without punishment?"

"Didn’t he suffer enough? Pan used him and tried to kill him. He has no reason to harm us!"

"Mom look, it's all red!" Henry pointed out, sharing the entreat. "He is not a villain."

Villains and heroes- good and evil.  This had to mean something. At least it did to Y/N and Henry. 

"If you want it to be returned so badly, do it yourself." Regina mocked with a teasing undertone. Her eyes darkened with each step towards Y/N. She grabbed for her hand and shoved Felix' heart inside it. The girl widened her eyes and darted her eyes down to her hand, then back to Regina, shaking her head in disbelief. 

"All you have to do is push it inside his chest." 

Y/N locked eyes with the second in command who gave her the same startled expression. His heart was pulsating hot against Y/N's fingertips, reminding her with every pump that she had the ultimate power over him. She could make him do whatever she wanted, but with each second holding it, she was overwhelmed by strong emotions coming from it and flooding her mind.

She approached the boy in a trance like state, not once breaking eye contact. Felix looked at her in anticipation once she came to halt in front of him. 

"Please." Felix whispered impatiently, slightly leaning forwards. "Give me back my heart and I promise-"

He stopped his sentence with a painful growl when Y/N interrupted him by pushing his heart back inside his chest. The pain came in waves, stinging him behind his eyes down to his toes, worse than having it ripped out in the first place. Felix felt his knees weaken, but he was not ready to show weakness, so he pressed his eyes shut and gritted his teeth while he fought against his own body. 

A few seconds later the pain disappeared completely, instead, there was this slow and steady pumping of his heartbeat. Felix reached for his chest and opened his eyes. A short glimpse of Y/N was enough to fasten the rhythm, overwhelming him like waves. Felix did expect strong emotions when he got his heart back, but never had he pictured anything warm like this. 

"Let's go back." She said and rubbed her arms. Felix looked up into the sky. It was snowing. Back in Regina's house, Felix sat motionless on the staircase, letting Y/N clean the blood off of his hands. 

"Why are you doing this? I can do this myself. " He suddenly said and glanced over to her. The girl stopped and looked back, feeling somewhat caught. She had questioned herself all the time what was running  through his head, and if he felt forced to end it like this. If Felix wanted to talk about it, he probably would do it on his own, there was no need to bother him further. Giving him some space now would be smart

Y/N rose and just as she started to walk off, she felt him grab her wrist.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude. I'd like some help." He said timidly, letting go of his gentle grip. Y/N gave him a faint of a smile, sitting  back down beside him and grabbed for the wet towel once more. 

"Thank you." Felix smiled back, showing her a rare sight. He looked so innocent when he showed her his dimples. 

"I think your idea of letting the evil queen take my heart worked. It turned out Peter did want to use it and kill me. You saved my life."

"I am just glad Henry got his body back before you… you-"

"Smashed his head? With a rock? If you want to ask me how I did it, don't fret."

Y/N swallowed hard. She painted herself a picture of the act, and could not help but feel sorry for Peter. With scarce resources of magic, Peter had no chance against this giant of a boy.

"How do you feel?" She then asked and placed his hand on his. Such an innocent move of hers, but it made Felix feel the heat rise in his face. Her touch was warm and gentle, he did not mind it at all, the opposite, Felix liked it. He looked at her and she found herself drawn into his gaze, unable to look away. She did not see a monster in him like the others. When the boy suddenly smiled at her, Y/N could not help but smile back.

"So where else should he go?" They suddenly overheard the adults obviously talk about Felix in the other room, caughting their attention, so they both exchanged a look filled with curiosity, before they  decided to investigate. Stepping inside, everyone in the room went silent, darting their eyes into the direction of the intruders. The adults looked at them not for long before returning completely unbothered back to their discussion.

"We can't let him go to Neverland or else he will start plotting something." Regina grumbled with crossed arms in front of her chest. She clearly talked about Felix. David and Hook were on her side, nodding in agreement.

"Aye." The captain said with a glare towards the boy, "That shall be unwise. Who knows what he could be up to there."

"We could let him live with us in storybrooke." Snow chimed in and stepped forwards.

"Sure.'' We just play happy family." Hook said sarcastically and put on a fake smile. The second in command moved his eyes into the pirate's direction without turning his head, the annoyance written all over his face. "There is already no space for all of us."

"We can't keep them here, that's  true." Emma agreed with Hook on this, pressing her brows together in a serious manner.

"What else do you have in mind?" Y/N chimed in, after all it was also her they needed to find shelter for. She looked up to Felix, waiting for him to speak up as well. He said no words but seemed to be intrigued by the conversation. In the end they had no choice but to comply after everything they did. 

"I suggested the orphanage,  where the rest of the lost boys were put up." Regina answered. That was the second Felix face started twitching, obviously not being fond of the idea. Still, no word crossed his lips. Y/N on the other hand tried to stay optimistic, after all, how bad could it be?

"We can't!" Emma's voice shrill through the room. "We protected them to be save from Felix!"

"You act as if he is vile and untamed!" Y/N glared at her. Felix felt his heart warming up when she defended him, well aware that she had witnessed him back on Neverland. He had treated the lost boys cruelly and barely showed mercy. No matter how much he told himself that it was Pan, it would always remain to be a lie.

"I don't trust a teenager that almost killed my son-"

"He helped you protect Henry!" Y/N interrupted. "If you put him in an orphanage you might as well put me in there!"

"So be it." Hook said with a shrug. He could not stand anyone from Neverland, not even Y/N. The pirate was convinced that not Pan himself was the source of evil, but rather the island itself. Felix had once mentioned that Hook liked to name them "the offspring of madness".  The further away he was from them the better. Y/N waited for the others to say a word, but it seemed like the argument was over with that. An orphanage it would be. The girl looked over to Felix, but he was already staring at her. His face said nothing, Y/N could not read it like that. How much she wished she could.

Felix's P.O.V.:

With this clattering swaying of the car, Felix feared that this short drive would be the end of him. Y/N next to him did not look less terrified, shortly exchanging a look with him before she would look away again. His eyes darted down to her hands on the seat, and he longed to touch her hands once more, hold her and assure her that he would make sure everything was okay. On the other hand he had never been really close to her back on Neverland, rather seemed to avoid her instead. He knew that Pan loved games and that he would play with her too, so getting close to her was never an option before. Felix had to admit that the small gesture of her taking his hand earlier showed him how badly he had Felix gentle touches. Everyone around him saw him as the bad guy, so it was probably something he would not receive so quickly.

Perhaps, but eventually he had the chance to prove himself now, to show Y/n and the others that he can change and be a better person. Neverland was the past, and there was nothing holding him back, opening new possibilities for a better life. Felix wanted to change and become a better person, so he knew that he had to keep the girl safe from anyone that might cause trouble in their new start. 

"Thanks for helping me back there." Felix whispered into Y/N's direction, trying to make him inaudible as possible for David. He did not want to show him his weakness.

"I wish I could help you sooner. That must have hurt." She whispered back.

"had it worse." he chuckled and leaned back into his seat. There was no way back, so  Felix tried to stay optimistic. Y/N did not say anything in response, so they sat in silence as they drove down the road. At the arrival Felix stiffened up before he got out of the car. The building reminded him of a high castle, combined with the aesthetics of a church. Y/N by his side did not look less nervous. Still, he was glad to have her by his side. Felix was not fond of the idea to move into an orphanage with all the boys back from Neverland. No one liked him for good reasons. After what Henry told him, Felix came to the realization that all this time he had been a villain, and that there was no space for evil in this world, his fate being a life with no happy ending. It did not matter how hard it would be, the former lost boy wanted to be good. To do that, he needed to prove that he was no danger and that there was more than violence leading him on. Even if he would straight up apologize to the former lost boys, he strongly doubted that any of them would accept him or spend time with him. Felix used to be on his own back in Neverland, so what had changed? Why did he need to prove something and to whom? The heroes? Y/N? He took another glance at her, asking himself why she stood up for him. She had never been close to him on Neverland, barely talked to him before, but now he was fascinated with the girl. Maybe he did want to convince her especially after she even made it possible to prove himself. 

"I told the staff to have a close eye on you." David spoke to Felix as the boy stepped out of the car. "Make trouble and you're in a less comfortable facility. I am talking about supervised living. It won't give you the freedom you're being granted right now. " 

Felix replied with a resistant nod. He was far too tired to force a smile and even if he did, the man would know that it was a lie. He turned to get his backpack from the backseat and faced the old building. It was a huge estate with huge towers and many windows, clean from the outside besides some toys laying on the grass. There were the sounds of chickens nearby that must belong to the house. It was welcoming and less scary than Felix had imagined.

"Do you hear that?" Y/N said with a smile, closing her eyes for a second. "I hope there are more animals." 

"Maybe they do." Felix gave back and raised his brows, leading the way up to the doorsteps of that building. "Maybe they have sheep or goats." 

"What about sheep AND goats!" 

He nodded and faced the door to knock, heavy and loud, maybe a little too loud. They waited a moment, then another one and another, until Y/N lifted her hand to knick again. Just as her knuckles were about to touch the wood, the door was finally being opened. The people behind the door were two gaunt nuns, none of them showed any efforts to properly greet them or make them feel welcome in their new home. 

"You," One of them pointed at Felix. "Boys section."

"And you," The other one said with a voice naturally softer than the other one's. "Girls section."

Inside the building Felix immediately got separated from Y/N to be escorted to his new room. He had to walk up a large staircase and left down the hallway,  and Y/N followed a staircase opposite to the other one, vanishing out of the boy's sight. 

"That's it." The nun who escortes him said disdainfully, her meager finger pointing towards the wooden door. "Don't expect much." 

Felix looked down into her wrinkled face. She was an old, scanty, time worn woman, ghoulish with pale skin and gray eyes, colder than his own. Her teeth were yellow with brown stains, and given away the scent of coffee, Felix assumed she drank it regularly. With that, she turned, slowly shuffling wearlily down the hallway. Felix already could not stand her, wondering if those emotions came naturally or if there was more than a simple bias behind it. Nevertheless this nun was an unpleasant woman. Opening the door, Felix followed her advice and kept his expectations low. The room was kept simple: There was a bed in the corner with a desk next to it, right underneath the window, a mirror next to the door and a dresser parallel to the bed. Much space left. If Felix owned something personal, he would see it as space to embellish it, but now it was just an empty space.

Felix stepped in and sat down onto his bed. He could not look into the mirror. Not yet. Not after what he had done to Peter  Was there true obedience with a heart being under control, or was there not a single move coming from himself? Felix was not sure if he wanted to do this, but in the end he killed his only friend. Did Peter trust him like Felix had trusted him? Now there was no way of telling anymore, so he needed a way to go past this, just like with all the other nasty things he did back on Neverland.

Felix did not see Y/N again until dinner, but by that time she was sitting close to Wendy. Felix was surprised to see the girl here as well, but questioned it not any further. Where else should she be? When she first saw him, the Darling girl froze. It was like her whole body told him to stay away- so he did. While he ate, she seemed to notice his gaze, so she avoided looking in Felix's direction all together. He could not help himself but felt disappointed that Y/N was not accompanying him, but it was understandable that she craved female companions after all. The boy would try to talk to her the next day, noticing how all the boys around him stiffened up and tried to keep their heads to themselves- just like on Neverland. Felix did not like that. He had never felt lonelier, knowing that there was not a single person to talk to. With the mood that bad, Felix decided not to bother any of the others with their presence, swaying onto his feet before leaving the room. Just as he was about to turn and leave, someone stretched out their leg, causing Felix to trip and Fall into the ground. During the sudden crash Felix bit harshly onto his lip and he could feel a small amount of blood mixing with his saliva. When he heard a quiet chuckle, Felix turned around and looked at the boy that had caused him to fall and bite himself. The boy was his age, not much shorter than Felix, golden locks and piercing blue eyes. With those angular cheeek bones Felix felt like looking at someone relative. The pretty boy wore a smug grin and looked down at Felix in full contempt. Felix's eyes burned in anger at the taste of his own blood, picturing a million ways to get revenge. It was not worth it, Felix thought, it only would bring him trouble. Raising to his feet once more he wiped off the blood and glared at the other boy before he walked off. This was not worth a fight, especially in front of the others. Sooner or later he would receive a payback, and the former lost boy never forgot a face, especially not if the other looked quite similar to himself. On the way back to his room, Felix crossed ways with the nun from earlier again. By listening to the conversations at the table he had learned that her name was sister Tilda.

"Have we been in a fight, mr.?" She stated so scornfully, raising her spare eyebrows in a judging manner.

"No I haven't, someone pushed me-" The nun shook her head and kept walking past him. This was useless. All they saw was Pan's pav dog, not a person. They had made their mind up to him and now he was stuck with this impression until he had the chance to prove him otherwise.. He had no idea how to do that, so Felix felt hopeless and frustrated. Laying down onto his bed he contemplated his regrets. During the first night, Felix was constantly tormented by gruesome nightmares. It was as if there was something that was ought to get him, haunting him even when he opened his eyes back open again. Rethinking his life, he came to conclusions that living on Neverland had been a nightmare and Peter Pan was made of them, just like a greenish personification of the devil. Felix hated himself for sticking to him until the very last moment. It gave him the realization that he never had a true friend after all, everything was shallow and built on lies. Felix had no one but himself. He needed to see Y/N again and ask her why she saved him and why she thought he was worth being saved. After all  it was her who even thought about him and created a plan, using all her energy to convince the other heroes to help. She must have had a reason for her actions, doubtful she acted on sympathy alone. The next day she went into the city along with Wendy, so Felix kept his distance. He wandered through the corridors, exploring the building when he suddenly crossed the boy from the day before, the one who caused him to trip. Felix wanted to beat him up, show him his place, but he knew that this would be a ticket to get thrown out immediately, far away from Y/N. It was reason enough to care

"So you're the leader of those dirty  savages?" He asked with a disgusted expression plastered over his neat face. 

"No." Felix shook his head with a deadpan face. "Peter Pan is dead." 

Jimmy scoffed and tilted his head. "Wouldn't that make you the leader?" 

"No." Felix said again.

"So you're just a savage loser like the rest of you newbies?" He looked disgusted up and down, scanning every little detail. "Your face sure kissed a blender." 

Felix felt his blood rise and he gritted his teeth, trying to control himself from not jumping at his throat right away. There was this strong urge to just throw him into the ground and choke the boy until his face turned blue. What a pleasant daydream. He had done worse to boys for even mentioning his scar, but after some time he learned to restrain himself. Not now. Not here. Felix was above this, way too smart and cunning to be tricked into violence like that, not after years being teased by lost boys that tried to get a reaction.

"Dude what is your problem? Have you ever been in a fight? How about you let your fists talk?" Felix gave back snarkily.

"Why should I go down to your level? You will see, sooner or later the nuns will throw you out either way. Some animals just can't be tamed. You newbies are a pest and if it were up to me they should have never let you in that easily. "

"Ah," Felix said with a smirk. "Lost boys can be little devils. Are they giving you nightmares?" 

The blonde boy yanked his head away, rolling his eyes and wiping some of his curls behind his ear. "Pathetic to assume any of you would scare us first-arrivals!" 

"Because mommy's early  abandonment was traumatizing enough already?" Felix chuckled out. The boy gritted his teeth and formed his hands into fists, giving Felix the impression to be attacked any second, so he got in position himself. 

"I'll have you out of here quicker than you can think. Wait for it." The boy snarled and gave him a dirty look before he would leave the direction he came from. After the boy stormed off, Felix returned to his room, taking an afternoon nap. When the boy woke up again, he was surrounded by darkness. Searching for the switch of the nightlight, he turned it on, darting his eyes to the watch on the wall. It was past ten already, so he had overslept the dinner and his chance to talk to Y/N again. Felix heard his stomach growling and seconds later he felt a wave of hunger pulling painfully inside him.

"Shut up already!" Felix whispered to himself as he sneaked through the corridors and heard his stomach rumbling again. Inside the kitchen Felix was surprised to still see some light on, and he prepared for an excuse to be in the kitchen, when he suddenly froze in place. 

"What are you doing here?"

"Same question." Felix gave back startled, but inside he was happy to meet no one else but Y/N. She looked tired,  still she kept doing the dishes.

"Wendy has a headache. It's our turn to clean up."

Y/N stood in front of a pile of dishes, no wonder why she was still awake. Felix stepped closer, grabbing a towel to help without saying anything. It was not needed and he would not even let her fight him on this. Fortunately she said nothing against his presence, instead she let out a small, satisfied hum. This reaction warmed him from deep within his chest after such a rough day. 

"What happened to your face?" She asked worriedly and touched his chin. Felix never wanted this to stop. 

"I fell." He lied, not wanting to admit that he made an enemy on his first day. It was not like this was on Felix though, there was no reason for the other boy to simply hate him just because he was from Neverland. There had to be more behind it, or else he would treat the girls the same way. 

"Be careful." She said out warmly, a soft smile forming on her face.

"I will." He gave back, and with that she removed her hand, making him miss her touch in an instant. Since she returned his heart to him, being with her felt like a dream. Maybe he had created a weird connection to her, or the evil queen enchanted him, or perhaps, this was all just in his head. Nevertheless, her company suddenly started to make him feel nervous like never before, making him believe he was sick or some sort. 

"Have you slept well?" Y/N then asked, continuing to wash the dirty plates. "I have looked for you, but sister Edith chased me out of your room and the boy corridor."

Felix giggled at the picture of that, but at the same time he was surprised that Y/N looked after him. 

"I felt pretty tired after everything that happened. I am pretty hungry too." 

"There is some roasted chicken and potatoes in the fridge." 

Felix nodded thankfully, interrupting his assistance for a moment as he warmed himself a plate from the previous dinner. When he was done eating, Y/N had finished cleaning up. She reached for his plate at last while he grabbed a towel and dried the plates.

"Thanks." 

"I am the one that should be forever thankful for what you did for me." Felix said, looking over to her. "I just wanted to ask you why you were willing to help me. Everyone thinks I am too dangerous." 

Y/N chuckled lightly, shaking her head. It made Felix impatient for her response. "I saw that he only used you when all you wanted was a friend. " She replied and stepped closer to him. He had the urge to just grab her and embrace her in his arms, to tell her how happy he was to have met her and how scared he really was to die. Instead, he looked down at the girl, his eyes glued onto her as he waited for her to continue. Suddenly they both heard some footsteps nearby, so Felix took a step back, curiously watching the door. No one entered, but the motions in the hallway made Felix uneasy enough to return to his room. He had enough troubles for the start.

"Have you seen the chicken yet?" Y/N asked before he could even make the choice to leave. She ignored the footsteps altogether. Felix shook his head. 

"Franklin showed them to me. You should meet him, he was very kind and maybe you will find a new friend."

"I will think about it if I meet him." 

"I haven't seen him at dinner, so maybe he roams around, too." 

Felix did not know who Franklin was, what he looked like or what age he was, but for a second Felix felt a sting when hearing that name a second time. He lied to himself that it had to something else than jealousy. He listened to the sounds behind the door.  The footsteps walked past them, but they were too fast for a nun, too many, so the boy assumed it must be the other kids. Maybe even Franklin.

It made Felix feel uneasy. He had no intention to meet the others again or learn to know new faces, so he was glad that Y/N suggested he go outside.  Felix rather went out into the cold than get into another uncomfortable situation. The boy finally managed to relax after a long evening, smiling down at Y/N as he followed. 

Just as they were to leave the house, Wendy suddenly entered. When she saw  Y/N she stopped and stared, her smile quickly fading as he moved them to her side.

"Y/N-" At the sight of Felix she made a horrified face, and he read it as a "shit, not him."

"Wendy-" He started and she widened her eyes, bending her head cautiously aside.  

"You should rot in hell. This is not what you deserve after Hell-land." She used his short gap to speak first. She quickly hushed past both of them, not giving Felix any chance to talk.

"She never told me why she hated you so much." Y/N followed the girl with her eyes until she vanished upstairs in the hallway.

"Because I was one of the people that kept her from her family." Felix suggested an idea, looking down at the former lost girl. 

"She doesn't hate Devin or the other boys." 

"Truth be told, most of them were just harmless morons."

With that he turned and left the building, quickly followed by Y/N. Outside it was freezing and without proper clothes they just took a quick peak around the house, assuming the animals were fed by someone. With a quick glance they saw that there were indeed some goats. It was too cold to stay any longer, so both decided to go inside quickly. On the way back Felix was surprised to see Devin. He remembered him well, so he raised his hand to wave. The boy froze at the sight of him, eyes widened in disbelief. He did not look pleased to see the former second at all. Just like Wendy.

"I really hoped he had killed you." Devin said, his eyes wandered up and down. With that he turned on his heels as if he changed his mind and walked back where he came from. Felix stood and stared. He was silent for a moment before he shook his head and turned to Y/N.

"I think I will head back to my room." He said dryly. 

Y/N said nothing but she did not have to. Her eyes were full of disappointment, as if she did not want him to go. Felix did not want to leave her like that, not that soon, but it was late and even though he had slept the whole day he still felt tired and drained. Besides, he could not bear facing any of the other boys right now. 

"Can I give you something before you go?" Y/N suddenly said as Felix was about to leave. He looked at her expectantly and gave her a confirming nod before he walked behind her to her room. When they arrived it took her only a few moments to receive a small paper bag with some black fabric inside. 

"I saw it and thought about you. It was always warm in Neverland so I thought you would need something warmer." She smiled at him while giving him the bag.

"Thank you." Felix showed his teeth while smiling. He had never received a gift before.