bonus chapter (woh) ─── baby brekker

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𝕵ordie Brekker was famed, among the Crows, for being just as stubborn as both of his parents. Stasiaj knew this for a fact, considering she had seen how most of her vipers had turned out and assumed that her son would follow suit. Kaz, on the other hand, had yet to see Jordie's famed stubbornness in action.

"I'm going now," Stasiaj called, strapping her shoes up as she leant against the entrance to the living room. Kaz hummed, turning the page in his book as Jordie played on the floor in front of him. "I'll be back later tonight. Good day?"

"Yeah," Kaz paused his reading, tilting his head back so that Stasiaj could place a kiss onto his lips. She ran her fingers along his jaw, pressing another kiss to his mouth. "You look stunning."

"I try," Stasiaj grinned against his lips, before wiping the lipstick stain from them. Kaz sent her a soft smile, the scent of her perfume wrapping around him. "You be a good boy for daddy, baby?"

"Yes, mama," Jordie chirped from the floor, as Stasiaj smoothed his dark hair back and pressed a kiss to his freckled nose. 

"I mean it," Stasiaj sent him a meaningful look.

"I know, mama,"

"That's my boy," With a final kiss to both her boys heads, she swept from the house in a twirl of golden skirts, emerald jewels and painted lips. Kaz was left with his son, who quickly grew tired of playing on the floor and found his dad to be a more enjoyable climbing frame.

"What are you doing Jordie?" Kaz asked, turning a page in his book as Jordie's head poked through underneath the book. Looking down at his son, Kaz cocked an eyebrow. Jordie's brown eyes watched him, before a grin formed on his face that was very reminiscent of Stasiaj's negotiating grin. "Jordie..."

"Nothing, daddy," Jordie grinned, giggling as he squirmed further up to rest on Kaz's chest. "What you doing?"

"Reading, peacefully, Jordie. Why aren't you playing?" Jordie sighed, before rolling onto his back and kicking the book out of his father's hand as the man sighed. "Jordie?"

"Daddy, can't you play with me?"

"I'm reading," Kaz replied, holding onto his son as he leant down to pick up the book. "Not now."

Jordie groaned, rolling his eyes and throwing his hand in the air and almost hitting his father in the face.

"Jordie!" The little boy giggled, before aiming to slap his father again. "You are far too much like your mother. Violent streak included."

The boy laughed again, before seeming to forget he had bones, flopping across his father's stomach as the man sighed and picked his son up.

"Right, you are going to have a bath and go to bed before you take my eye out," Jordie began to whine. "How does your mother convince you to do this?"

"She gives me hot coco,"

"Nice try fledgling. I know for a fact she doesn't do that," Jordie groaned, flopping again as he nearly fell out of his fathers arm. "Stop trying to act like your mother. Jordie, behave."

"No," Kaz froze, looking down at his son, who was cackling in a familiar way. "No, no, no, no, no!"

"Jordie..."

"No!" Jordie grinned, before slipping from Kaz's arm and running off into the large house.

"Why is my kid so stubborn?" He ran a hand over his face, still wondering how his kid turned out like this. He'd thought that his child would be slightly more easy to manage, but he was obviously wrong. 

He was starting to understand why none of the Crows ever wanted to babysit his son.

"Jordie! Come back here or I'll call your mother and she won't be happy!"

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It took a further hour for him to finally wrangle his son into pyjamas and it seemed that the chase had worn him out, for Jordie was yawning and flopping back into Kaz's chest. Kaz smiled, running a hand through his son's thick hair, that was still damp with water.

"When will mummy be back?"

"Later on when you will have gone to bed,"

"But I want to see her,"

"She's out, Jordie," The boy whined, huffing as he curled further into his father. "You'll see her in the morning."

"I want to see her now!" 

Kaz could feel a temper tantrum coming on.

"When she gets home, I'll send her into your room so that she can say goodnight, how about that?"

"I'll be awake though," Not if Kaz had anything to do with it. Jordie yawned again, and Kaz checked the time, seeing that it was close to his bedtime.

"Why don't you just get into bed and then we'll see what happens when mama gets back?"

Jordie was too tired to protest, so Kaz lifted the small boy into his arms and headed back up the stairs, pushing the door to Jordie's room open as his son slowly fell asleep in his arms. Quietly, and carefully, Kaz placed his son into bed, tucking the covers up around him carefully.

"Da," Kaz smoothed back his son's hair at the boy's whine, pressing a kiss to his head.

"You're alright, Jordie," Jordie opened his eyes blearily, the stubbornness having caused him to grow tired far more quickly. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Love you, dada," Jordie grabbed onto Kaz's sleeve, clinging to his side. Kaz grinned.

"I love you too," Leaning down, Kaz pressed a kiss to Jordie's head, brushing his hand through his hair. Despite it all, and the fact that he'd had to run around like a headless chicken to find him, Kaz adored Jordie, stubbornness and all.

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"Evening," Kaz looked up from the sofa at the click of Stasiaj's shoes, looking to the doorway as she appeared. She looked to be wiping blood stains from her face, causing Kaz to raise an eyebrow.

"Interesting night?"

"You know, same old, same old," 

"Do I not get to know the information you got?"

"Not unless you're paying me, Crow Man. I accept cash and jewellery and kisses," Kaz chuckled, standing off the couch to wrap his arms around Stasiaj's waist, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "You're in good mood. You and Jordie have fun?"

"Your kid is stubborn as hell,"

"He got that from you, not me," Stasiaj corrected, as Kaz nodded and pressed another kiss to her cheek. "But he was good?"

"No, he was a troublemaker but it got sorted in the end. He's in bed," Stasiaj cocked an eyebrow, before nodding up to the top of the stairs. Turning, Kaz sighed as he saw little feet on the top step. "Jordie!"

A small face appeared through the railings.

"Mummy!" The little boy careened down the staircase, causing his parents to wince as he tripped over his own feet, tugging a crow toy behind him. He made it to the bottom, somehow unharmed, before slamming into his mother. Stasiaj stumbled, but Kaz caught her as they chuckled. "I missed you."

"I can see that," Stasiaj grinned, leaning down to pick the boy up as Kaz quickly wiped away the remainder of the blood on her neck. "Have you been annoying daddy?"

"No,"

"Yes," Kaz corrected as Jordie giggled and hid his face in the slit of Stasiaj's dress, hands clinging to her calf. "He does, however, get his violent streak from you."

"That's my boy!" Stasiaj grinned, picking Jordie up into her arms, though her muscles protested. "But, your dad is right, it's bed time and I want to go to sleep."

"Can I sleep with you?"

"No," Kaz answered before Stasiaj, knowing that she would say yes and he would be kicked from the bed in the middle of the night. "In your own bed, Jordie."

"But, daddy!" Stasiaj chuckled, before setting his down and giving him a gentle push towards the stairs.

"You heard your father, into bed and I'll come in and say goodnight. If you're in bed before I get to your room, maybe we can go to the bakery tomorrow," Jordie huffed, before scrambling up the stairs as fast as his little legs could take him, causing Stasiaj and Kaz to chuckle. "Can I have a kiss?"

Kaz cocked an eyebrow, before pressing a swift kiss to Stasiaj's lips as the girl chuckled.

"Why did you want a kiss?"

"Payment for the information I'm about to tell you," Kaz rolled his eyes, a smile forming on his face as Stasiaj spun around to face him. "Pekka Rollins died in the night."

"What?" 

"He met a very unfortunate accident," Stasiaj nodded. 

"How do you know this?" Kaz spluttered, following Stasiaj as she swept up the stairs, even if his leg panged slightly at the faster speed.

"Malkus sucks at burying bodies because he's over dramatic," Stasiaj called down, leaning on the bannister to grin at him. "Should have taught him to dig shallow graves better. He said, and I quote, 'think of it as an early birthday present for Crow Man'."

"Remind me to teach him how to dig at one point," Kaz muttered, a surprised laugh leaving his mouth. "He's actually dead?"

"Yeah,"

"How?"

"Malkus drowned him," Stasiaj grinned, the familiar cruel smirk on her face. "Said it was poetic justice."

"What's drowning?" Jordie's voice called, as Stasiaj and Kaz paled.

"What are you doing up, Jordie? No bakery tomorrow if you're not in bed," Stasiaj stomped up the stairs to locate her son, who let out a scream of delight and ran away. Kaz let another surprised laugh leave his lips, running a hand through his dark hair, still incredulous that his eldest son had done that. 

"By the saints," He muttered as he heard Jordie and Stasiaj scream, chuckling at their dramatics. "I live in a house of psychopaths."

Kaz shook his head, before hurrying up the stairs to make sure that his family was still alive, all the while wondering whether he needed to send a letter to Zoya to ask her if Nikolai and their kids were also as insane as his wife and son were.

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Jordie Brekker never grew out of his stubborn streak, over the years, becoming more and more like his father. Now at close to seventeen, Jordie stood taller than both his parents with broad shoulders and a wide grin normally plastered on his face.

"I don't get," Jordie muttered, following after his mother with a scowl, "why do I have to have a babysitter? Surely you could have left me in Ketterdam, and this would all be sorted."

"If I left you in Ketterdam, you and Malkus would destroy the city,"

"That's a lie, Ma," Malkus called, appearing on the other side of her and peering over her shoulder. Stasiaj spun around, cocking an eyebrow at her two, tall sons.

"Five years ago, winter with the Fjerdan ambassador. Four years ago, spring with the Merchant Council. Two years ago, in the autumn, with the Council of Tides," Stasiaj listed as Malkus and Jordie winced. "You two don't have a good track record."

"Why's Malkus not got a babysitter though?"

"Malkus is classified as a legal adult, not sure why, but he is," Malkus grinned, sticking a finger up at Jordie behind Stasiaj's back. "Stop it! No antagonising your brother, Malkus. Also, I want you to spend time with my family."

"Great," Jordie huffed, scowling. "I can help, Mum. I know what business you guys are in."

"I don't want you to help, Jordie," Stasiaj waved Malkus off, who scurried away to go and bother Kaz. "I don't want you in the business me or your father are in, I would much prefer you to be doing something with not as much violence and blood. I don't want you to be a criminal."

"Everyone else in the family is! Ivarn, Cecelia, Malkus, you, dad, Auntie Inej, Uncle Jes, Uncle Wylan..." Jordie listed.

"They grew up in the business. Look, your dad and I did the dirty work and made enemies so that we could have enough money to provide a better life for you," Stasiaj told her son, as the ship docked in the port. "Now, stop complaining and spend time with my brother and your cousins."

"Sure thing, Mother,"

"Also, if you stab any of them, I will not be happy," Stasiaj glared at him, her eyes flashing dangerously. "No causing trouble."

"Trouble and Jordie are the same thing, I thought," Kaz chuckled, patting his son on the shoulder as Jordie lit up at the sight of his dad. 

"Can you convince her to let me come with you?"

"What your mother says, goes, Jordie," Kaz shrugged, before leaning down and pressing a kiss to Stasiaj's forehead. "You'll have fun."

"No, I won't," Jordie growled, stomping off the boat behind his parents as Malkus chuckled at his younger brother's predicament. "Shut up, Malkus, or I'll push you into the sea!"

"Yeah, mum would kill you," Malkus reminded, wrapping Jordie into a headlock as they reached the port. Stasiaj was already embracing Nikolai, thanking him for offering to look after Jordie whilst Kaz, Stasiaj and Malkus travelled further into Ravka to meet up with Inej and track someone down. "Uncle Nik is fun, honest. Look, I've met him before. He's a funny guy."

He tripped Jordie as he let him go, earning a sharp glare from Kaz.

"You must be Jordie," Jordie brushed off his suit, looking up at his uncle. Nikolai was completely different to his mother. Where his mother was all harsh edges, sharp smiles and cocked eyebrows, Nikolai was warm smiles and loud laughs.

Jordie didn't think this was going to go well.

"You look just like your father," Nikolai sent him another grin, holding his hand out for Jordie to shake. "We're going to have fun."

Jordie did not share that sentiment.

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Nikolai lost Jordie pretty quickly in the main palace. Just like his mother, Jordie was as slippery as an eel and as soon as someone turned their back, he was gone. Most of the palace was in an uproar that they had lost the princess's son, but Nikolai merely rolled his eyes.

Having known Stasiaj as a child, he had a slight idea of where Jordie might go and sure enough, he found the teenager in a corner away from all the fuss, chewing on food.

"Thought I might find you here,"

"How did you find me?" Jordie cried, looking surprised that someone had manage to locate his hiding spot.

"Your mum used to run off to a corner to eat and hide from people when she was little," Nikolai sat down on Jordie's other side, grabbing some of the food from his plate. "So, why are you hiding?"

"I'm not hiding,"

"Sorry, course not. Why are you in a dark corner then?" Jordie scowled as Nikolai grinned. "Do you miss your parents?"

"What? No," Nikolai rolled his eyes, a grin on his face that he hid from the boy. "They're off doing their things."

"They're off doing illegal things," Nikolai corrected, rolling his eyes at his sister's job. "Your mum just doesn't want you to have to do those things."

"I could do it. I would be able to kill someone,"

"Don't think you're supposed to say those sorts of things to the Prince Consort of Ravka," Nikolai muttered, the sentence itself reminding him of Stasiaj telling him where all of the bodies were buried. "It's not a question of whether you would be able to, it's whether you have to. If you don't have to kill anyone, then that's a good thing."

"Everyone else in my family has,"

"Everyone else in your family has been a wanted criminal at least four times in their lives. How they haven't been arrested multiple times, I'll never know," Nikolai began to walk back down the corridor, waiting for his nephew to catch up.

"Mum's been arrested?" Jordie scurried after his uncle, his eyebrow cocked.

"Your mum? Never, Stasiaj held too much power. Your dad on the other hand, I think he was arrested when he was fifteen, sixteen?" Nikolai shrugged. "Look, your parents just don't want you to go through the same things they did."

"They did fun things, like infiltrating the Ice Court. That sounds cool,"

"That's illegal, Jordie," Nikolai rolled his eyes again. It was like talking to a male version of Stasiaj. "Right, come on, let's go tell the others that you're not lost so that they don't send a panicked message to your parents. Stasiaj would never let me live that down."

"Fine," Nikolai grinned, before wrapping an arm around Jordie's shoulders. 

"Don't you worry, Jordie. There are lots of fun things to do without it being illegal," He steered the boy away from the priceless antiques, having been forewarned by Kaz that the boy liked shiny things. "We'll find something good, promise."

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Hiya,

This is just chaos of Kaz trying to babysit, and slightly failing, and then Nikolai trying to babysit (and doing it slightly better). But I love them all, plus Malkus and Jordie's relationship, and Kaz and Stasiaj. Also, on my tiktok (@sugarandspicewrites), I finally got around to doing a video in Stasiaj's black dress so I'd be super hyped for you guys to check it out.

Coming up is young Nikolai and Stasiaj, Stasiaj having a bad day, Malkus and Kaz and maybe a crossover with Stasiaj Yahontov and Tommy Shelby (cause I think that would also be funny).

Let me know what you think,

Love Li xx