You know J. Edgar Hoover liked cats

which... is a very good thing

because he clearly didn't seem to like people.

   He like suspending.

Suspending sentences?

   No, those underwear things.

Oh! (Snort) Really!

   You know that make good title for poem.

What?

   The Love Song of...

I vaguely seem to recall that has already...

   ...J. Edgar Hooker.

What???? Hoover! Hoover! Not Hooker!  Idiot!  (Said under breath)

   Not Hooker? Why he wear suspender then?

He no wear... God!     Forget the suspenders!      Where was I?    

Yes, well, anyway, Idi Amin...

   I hear that.

...is well...

   I not deaf, you know...

...KNOWN...

   ... cat have very good hear.

...FOR ADORING CATS... (Grandiose pause with flourishing gesture. A hat with exuberant plume is highly recommended)

...

...

Well?      Come on...     I know you're... 

   ...........................on toast. (Snicker)

You know, you really can be distasteful...

   Just add salt. (Hee, hee)

...AND disruptive...

   But funny! Very funny, huh?

In a puerile, inane, unoriginal, adol...

   I very original!

You are not!

   Yeah? Where you meet a talking cat before? (Claws a "strike" in the air)

Ohhhh, SHUT UP!!

   Oh! Oh! Who unoriginal now? And idiot too (Stage whispered)

...

...

Anyway (grinding teeth ferociously) to continue, IF   I might be allowed...

   No, no, you go ahead.

Thank you.

   I insist.

Thanks.

   Oh, you very welcome.

Thank you very bloody much with bloody sugar and cream and...

   Me like cream.

ARGGGGHHHH! (Runs out tearing at hair)

...

...

Humans very strange peoples. (Begins to carefully lick paw).