Reviewer: KitZimmerman

Book: Destined love: a tale of arrange serendipity by Katherinekeller1

Book Title: 2/5

While the title matches aspects of the blurb, I thought it was ultimately too wordy. Additionally, there is a tense disagreement in the subtitle. (I would also advise following title capitalization conventions, but that's just me. There are professional works out there that do not.)

Book Cover: 2/5

The tagline "A Story of Love, Revenge, and Betrayals" would seem more appropriate if the title didn't similarly tell readers what the story was about (a tale of destined love and arrange[d] serendipity). There is also an additional tagline below the subtitle that's difficult to read because of its small size, but it seems to be even more "telling" information. 

In all, it's a lot of information that may not be necessary. Also, the red lettering blends too well with the background (in other words, it isn't color-blind friendly) and creates an effect where, at first glance, the main title reads "D s i e l v ". However, the cover image does seem to capture the spirit of the narrative, even if it is in emotional contrast to Kara and Alexander's first meeting.

Summary: 3/5

The blurb is there, but it didn't give me a chance to question it or become interested, and here's why:

Presenting the work as "an enchanting story" is self-aggrandizing if it was written by the author. If it wasn't, it is, at the very least, a tall promise to the reader in a way that says, "You will be enchanted, pick up this book." Even if a book is enchanting, touting it as one doesn't often inspire confidence in readers, but rather tends to have the opposite effect. This isn't the first time I've seen this on Wattpad, and I would caution any author to avoid it (even if a copywriter tells you to; no copywriter worth their weight would include such phrases unless the subject matter is satire). Lastly, like the title and the prose within, the blurb "tells" more than it shows, and it's worth noting that rhetorical questions don't often have the effect we desire. 

Grammar & Punctuation: 1/5

Grammar and punctuation mistakes were rampant. I had to stop reading by the middle of the book because of numerous errors and a lack of consistency that prevented the story from flowing well and ultimately inhibited my ability to clearly understand what was happening. At best, this version seems more like a rough draft, but there is something there to develop.

Character Building: 1/5

Character development was difficult to follow and understand. Areas that were understood seemed highly underdeveloped.

Writing Style: 1/5

While the writing style differed from what I'm used to—and I am open to experimental writing—it was ultimately confusing and inherently basic. (Note: I think it's possible to write prose or even poetry that includes SMS abbreviations, but I would advise against it unless readers are getting a first-person insight into a teenager's head. Even then, one risks alienating audiences.)

Plot Originality: 1/5

The snippets of plot I could capture seemed unbelievable, and the rest was confusing. Originality is difficult to gauge in an unpolished work.

Reader Engagement: 1/5

Overall, my engagement was low due to a myriad of problems mentioned above and below.

Comments:

Per the author's request, here is my honest feedback on pacing.

Pacing is a multi-faceted monster impacted by the flow of sentences, scene structure, story beats, plot points, and character arcs—to name but a few aspects. In all, pacing was inconsistent and difficult to pin down because of the aforementioned problem areas. I think by first focusing on crafting well-written dynamic sentences and evolving one's narrative from there, it will be easier to get a grasp on pacing.

I don't want to end the review without attempting to be helpful. So here are some tips I think might be useful: 

1) Read for practice, but don't read on Wattpad. We're not exactly example-setters here. Read books and short stories that have been edited by professionals. There's a reason those titles are successful. Avoid self-published works if you can; they are seldom well-doctored. 

2) Keep writing. Challenge every word and sentence on the page to be the best possible version of itself in a way that shows and does not tell. 

3) When you aren't writing, read more. If you know you're better at writing action scenes and less so at writing dialogue, read dialogue-heavy works. Read what interests you, but don't read what you're good at. 

4) Part of the writing process is revision and—more often than we'd like—rewriting. Revise. Edit. Rewrite. Revise. Edit. And rewrite again. (I certainly do!)

Overall Score: 12/40