FELICITY
xlvi. group chat
❝YOUNG LOVE.❞

'WALKER SLAYERS & OTHER AVERAGE HUMANS'

NOT TONY STARK
DID Y'ALL SEE THE INTERVIEW

CUDLITZ
what interview?

MYA
told y'all that he's a fake fan

KATE-BAE
how disrespectful

MYA
you killed a turtle you can't say shit

[MYA CHANGED KATE-BAE'S CONTACT ID TO TURTLE KILLER]

TURTLE-KILLER
I DIDN'T WRITE THE SCRIPT

MYA
I DON'T CARE

SIS
HAVE Y'ALL THE INTERVIEW IN WHICH MYA BASO SAID SHE'D DATE CHANDLER

DAD
eXcUsE mE

FLIP PHONE ANDY
W ha t?

NANNY NORMAN
WHAT

SONEQUA
I SAW IT AND CRIEDNDJUHFUI

MYA
OKAY BUT GREEDUS REPLIED AFTER ONE ANOTHER UEFHIFE
also i did not smh

SIS

I dId NoT SmH!1!

MYA
do not give me that spongebob meme

NOT TONY STARK

Do NoT gIvE mE tHaT sPoNgEbOb MeME!1!1!

MYA
I WILL HIT YOU

NOT TONY STARK
you love me so you wouldn't
not as much as you love chandler tho

SIS
THIS IS WHY I LIKE HAILEE

MYA
I WILL CUT YOU BOTH

'SAM'URAI
CALM DOWN MYA

MCMULLET
I should really put this chat on Do Not Disturb because you woke me up

MYA
NEVER
YOU CAN'T CONTAIN ME
I'LL DUCT TAPE YOU AGAINST THE DOOR AGAIN

NANNY NORMAN
yikes

'SAM'URAI
NO THANK YOU

COLTON BEAN
pls don't hit my girlfriend
i'll add chandler to the chat again

NOT TONY STARK
pls i need chya in this group chat

SIS
that's a good idea
where'd he go anyways?

MYA
i may or may not have kicked him out
what's he gonna do?

[COLTON BEAN ADDED CHAIRHANDLER TO THE CONVERSATION]

CHAIRHANDLER
what's mya done this time?

MYA
EXCUSE ME
I DID NOTHING

COLTON BEAN
YOU THREATENED TO HIT AND CUT MY GIRLFRIEND

NOT TONY STARK
^^^

SIS
YOU THREATENED TO CUT ME

'SAM'URAI
YOU THREATENED TO DUCT TAPE ME TO THE DOOR AGAIN

MYA
okay true
but on the bright side
i didn't hit hailee
and i didn't cut hailee or erin
and i didn't duct tape sam to the door again

CHAIRHANDLER
but why did you threaten them?

NOT TONY STARK
bc she's mean

MYA
they were speaking about chya

CHAIRHANDLER
ugh it's too late to speak about chya

SIS
it's never too late to speak about chya

MYA
it's like five in the afternoon but i agree with chandler

TURTLE KILLER
you would agree with chandler

CHAIRHANDLER
it's two in the morning, mya
and you should be sleeping like i told you to an hour ago
you're going to be tired and sick if you don't sleep.

SIS
LOOK AT HIM LOOKING OUT FOR HERJUHBIHUIDHF

MYA
o o p s

CHAIRHANDLER
s l e e p
what happens to nitrogen when the sun rises

NOT TONY STARK
are we meant to know this?

MYA
idk i'm not a biologist

MCMULLET
I think you mean chemist

MYA
oh shut it, mullet

CHAIRHANDLER
it becomes daytrogen

SIS
oh my god, chandler.

MYA
i'm going to bed, bye.

CHAIRHANDLER
good nitrogen

MYA
i will hit you

CHAIRHANDLER
sleep tightrogen

MYA
i will remove you from this chat AGAIN

CHAIRHANDLER
don't let the bed bugs bitrogen

[MYA REMOVED CHAIRHANDLER FROM THE CONVERSATION]

SIS
ahh, young love.

[MYA REMOVED SIS FROM THE CONVERSATION]