FELICITY
xxxii. group chat
❝I'M DECEASED.❞

'WALKER SLAYERS & OTHER AVERAGE HUMANS'

NOT TONY STARK
I'M DEAD
I'M LITERALLY DEAD
I'M DECEASED
BYE

DAD
i mean you're typing so i'm presuming that you're alive

NOT TONY STARK
THIS IS MY GHOST

FLIP PHONE ANDY
Hai Le 's de a d?

COLTON BEAN
no, andy, she's alive but she's saying that she's dead metaphorically due to mya's new music

'SAM'URAI
why do you even bother telling him this?

COLTON BEAN
no one else will

'SAM'URAI
okay true

NANNY NORMAN
sonequa is blasting why on repeat and dancing around to it. the neighbors will complain soon.

SIS
I'M ACTUALLY CRYING?
WHO KNEW THAT MY STUPID SISTER COULD MAKE GOOD MUSIC
I'M SHOOK

MOM
iT'S SO GOOD
I FEEL LIKE A PROUD MOTHER
WAIT WHERE IS MYA AND WHY ISN'T SHE ANSWERING

MYA
yo kids

ALANNA
THE SONG WAS GREAT
YOU DID GREAT SWEETIE
WE'RE ALL SO PROUD

KISH
WHEN'S THE ALBUM COMING OUT??

DANAI
When are you going on tour?

EMMY
when are we collating?

SONEQUA
WHEN CAN I LISTEN TO WHY LIVE??

MYA
OKAY OKAY CHILL WITH THE QUESTIONS
I CAN'T TELL YOU WHEN THE ALBUM IS COMING OUT
BUT I CAN SAY THAT IT WILL BE SOON
I CAN'T TELL YOU WHEN I'M GOING ON TOUR
BUT YOU'LL FIND OUT SOON
EMILY, I HAVE SPOKE TO MY MANAGER AND SHE SAYS SHE'LL MAKE IT HAPPEN SOON
AND YOU CAN LISTEN TO WHY LIVE IF YOU COME OVER TO MY HOUSE

SONEQUA

SIS
WARNING: I AM AT MYA'S HOUSE AND SCREAMING

MYA
that's a fact
the neighbors have already complained

CHAIRHANDLER
who would complain??
they get to listen to an extremely good song and an angelic voice without even searching it up??
i wouldn't complain??

MOM
OH MY GOD I'M CRYIWNWFSSU

DAD
boy you better stop right there if you want to keep the only eye you have left

MYA
c h i l l

CHAIRHANDLER
😳

SIS
HEHSIWNSIQJSKWKQ
DUEKWIIDIEJWMS
DRK WKKEKE
EEUWIWJEH

MYA
CHANDLER WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
I CAN HEAR HER CRYING FROM DOWNSTAIRS
OH MY GOD I JUST HEARD SOMETHING SMASH

CHAIRHANDLER
whoops?

NOT TONY STARK
CHYA CHYA CHYA CHYA CHYA CHYA

KISH
GET MARRIED HAVE SEX AND HAVE KIDS LIKE NOW PLS AND THANK YOU

MYA
NO

NANNY NORMAN
this chat is a mess

MYA
A HUGE MESS

'SAM'URAI
i agree

COLTON BEAN
did you expect anything different?

JEFF
nope, and i'm new here

KATE-BAE
Y'ALL NEED TO DATE LIKE NOW

MYA
HOW ABOUT NO

DAD
NO THEY DON'T
MYA IS INNOCENT
AND SHE IS NOT HAVING SEX ANYTIME SOON
CHRISTIAN DO NOT INFLUENCE THESE KIDS
MYA IS INNOCENT AND SHE WILL NEVER EVEN KISS A DUDE UNDER MY WATCH

MYA
ahahaha you thought
[DELETED]

KATE-BAE
SHUT IT STEVEN

CUDLITZ
she kisses chandler for the walking dead so she's already kissed a dude numerous times, steven

DAD
BRB CALLING SCOTT GIMPLE

CHAIRHANDLER
i feel like steven's going to kill me

MOM
he probably will.
lock your door.

JESUS
YOU'RE BLOWING UP MY PHONE GEEZ
Y'ALL NEED JESUS

SIS
STEVEN IF YOU EVEN DARE CALL GIMPLE I WILL CUT YOU
CAMILY IS THE ONLY WAY I GET TO SEE CHYA KISS
RUIN THAT FOR ME AND I WILL PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE

MYA
oh my days

KATE-BAE
CHANDLER

MYA
KATELYN WHAT ARE YOU DOING

CHAIRHANDLER
yes

MYA
DO NOT SAY YES IDIOT

KATE-BAE
DO YOU TAKE MYA EMERSON TO BE YOUR LAWFULLY WEDDED WIFE

DAD
I DID NOT AGREE TO THIS
I DID NOT AGREE TO THIS
I DID NOT AGREE TO THIS

MYA
EXCUSE ME

CHAIRHANDLER
WE'RE NOT DATING??

DAD
THAT'S THE RESPONSE I WANT TO SEE, CHANDLER

NOT TONY STARK
that's a yes from chandler

MYA
WHAT SORT OF MESSED UP LOGIC IS THAT

KATE-BAE
AND DO YOU, MYA EMERSON, TAKE CHANDLER RIGGS TO BE YOUR LAWFULLY WEDDED HUSBAND

DAD
HER ANSWER IS NO

MYA
NO

NOT TONY STARK
that's a yes from mya

DAD
NO IT WASN'T

MYA
I SAID NO GOD DAMMIT

KATE-BAE
WITH THE POWER INVESTED IN ME, I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU MAN AND WIFE.

DAD
NOPE NOPE NOPE
MYA I'M LOCKING YOU IN YOUR ROOM FOR THE REST OF TIME

MYA
yOU KNOW WHAT I'LL BE FINE WITH THAT

NOT TONY STARK
YOU'RE NOT HER ACTUAL DAD

MYA
HE IS NOW SHUSH

DAD
YES I AM

MOM
steven, i hate to break it to you, but you're not

DAD
I DON'T CARE