FELICITY

It is a day after I told Timothy all those lies and I am still crushed, sorrow lurks around me and I do not know how to stop it. I cannot even begin to imagine how broken and miserable he is. I hate the way he looked at me, his eyes held so much pain. I almost caved, I almost ran into his arms to tell him that I was lying, to tell him that I want him to stay with me forever. I must get used to the idea of not having him around even though I am alone and miserable here without him. I will survive . . . I hope I survive.

My Timothy, I love when he calls me anything other than my real name, he makes me feel incredibly special. Felicity is the name Madam gave me, it is like an annoying sound I just cannot get rid of, whereas Cinderella is the name Timothy gifted me, and it is like a beautiful melody that I want to ring through my ears forever. Cinderella; I am his Cinderella.

It is really dark outside and I hear the front door open. I hear Madam trudge down the stairs to the basement. She put in a new and stronger lock on the door and I think she has added some chains too, it takes her longer to come in. I hear her struggling with the keys and then, she finally pushes the basement door open.

"Felicity," she slurps in a high pitched tone, she sounds awfully different. I see her struggling to climb down the stairs, almost stumbling a few times, I get up from my mattress and I wait for her to come down.

"Good evening Madam," I curtsy as soon as she is down.

"My beautiful Felicity," she smiles, and then she wraps me up in a hug. She smells terrible, she has the same stench the pot-bellied beast had, she must be drunk. I bring myself out of the hug and I see that she is holding a bottle of what I believe is alcohol in her hands. I step back and I wait to see what she will do, she goes to my mattress and then she motions her hands over to it, my body follows her direction and then I slowly come down to a seated position.

"Edward," she slurs and then she takes a swig from the big bottle in her hands. I look at her not wanting to say anything, I never know what to say when I am around her. Sometimes the mere act of me speaking can get her crazy. "I was an orphan," she says, I am shocked. "My parents never loved me and so they abandoned me when I was born," she scoffs bitterly. "I was taken in by an old couple. When I was six they died in a crash. When they died, I moved from foster home to foster home," she explains.

I honestly do not know what to say, I do not know where this is going but I am eager to listen to whatever she has to tell me for I do not know anything about her. Maybe the alcohol in her system will get her to spill more than her dinner.

"I never felt loved, both my parents didn't want me, the old couple showed me love but it was short-lived. When they died my life became a nightmare. I was sent to orphanages and foster homes, I was greatly abused by one of my foster parents. I was a loner, all I did was occupy space in the world, useless and worthless," she spewed out. I open my mouth to speak but then I shut it as I wait for her to continue. "I went to public school, bullies everywhere. They were darts and I was always their target. I was miserable in that school. One day when I was twelve, a new student arrived. Edward was his name," she smiles dreamily. "Very handsome, smart, kind. He was the first person to treat me like a human being. Naturally, I fell in love with him," she smiled wider but her lips trembled.

Edward, could he be the person she is so desperately waiting for? The key to my freedom? The reason I am locked up away from all humanity? My father? He?

"We soon started dating, we had a love so strong. Around him I didn't care about anyone else, he was my all, my everything." I start to think about Timothy at this point, he is my everything.

"Is- Is he my father? This Edward you speak of," I gather the courage to ask.

She erupts in loud fits of laughter and then she gulps down a great amount of the alcohol in her hands. "You're nothing but a filthy bastard Felicity," she laughs hysterically. It is a frightening sight to behold.

"What do you mean?" I blink.

"One day at twenty-two, I was feeling under the weather, I walked out for some fresh air. It was already past midnight. I felt someone grab me, I was too weak to fight. He pushed me into a van and drove off. He took me to a strange building and there he raped and abandoned me," she cries. "He raped me and you're the product of that rape," she spits out, her tone laced with so much hatred. "You're a worthless bastard," she says menacingly.

My eyes water as what she has just told me properly sinks in. I would rather not know who my father is than to find out he is a rapist; a bad man. "When I told Edward, he was furious, he accused me of cheating on him. He said he didn't want to take care of another man's child. He didn't want you and so since you were in me, he didn't want me either. You destroyed my life. You destroyed the relationship I had for ten years, "she says angrily and then she stares at me with hate in her eyes.

How can she blame me? I was not even born yet. "I told him I'd get rid of you, but I couldn't, I should have. I kept you hidden hoping that when he sees I didn't have you, he'll come back to me. When you were five I saw him again, he walked into the hospital I work at," she says bitterly, her eyes are hard as she recalls that day. "Do you know the worst part?" She yells at me. "Do you know the worst part?" She yells louder.

"No," I flinch.

"He walked in there with his pregnant wife, she was having twins," she cries. "Twins! Two! Maybe he saw you, maybe somehow he knew that I had you with me." She pulls hard on her short blonde mane, her eyes dance around the filthy floor, her fingers are shaking. "Maybe he found out that I had you, and so I had to hide you for good, lock you up," she cries.

Now I understand why she came back that day furious, she saw that Edward had moved on and she blamed me for it. She thought he knew I was born and so she hid me. She is not well, she needs help. She actually thinks he will come back to her. Now I know that all this while we have been waiting for no one. He is coming means no one is coming, it means I will never get out of this basement. This is where I will eat. This is where I will sleep. This is where I will grow and this is where I will die.

"He'll be back soon," she nods and then she pulls on her hair some more. "He'll leave her and come back to me," she nods "Yes! yes! He'll be back!" she shouts "Edward will be back soon, he'll come back to me. He was my world, I was his. "

"He will never come back!" I yell out in anger and frustration. "He did not love you, he only used that as an excuse, he surely would have left you even without me."

"Be quiet you bastard. I hate you," she points at me. "You ruined my life, you're still ruining it. You look so much like your father, those bloody eyes, you have his eyes, you have his bloody eyes," she screams in a deafening manner. "Every day I want so desperately to pluck them out so that I don't remember him, you're haunting me," she screams then she runs her hands through her hair.

"Please mother, we do not need him, to be happy. We can go back to how we used to be. Please let me go," I kneel close to her and plead.

"No!" She yells, "I'm not your mother, he doesn't want a bastard child. I hate you!" she yells louder and I flinch. Her hands start shaking again and I stand up for I am scared of what she will do. She throws the alcohol bottle at me with all the strength she can possibly gather and it hits me. It shatters on my body and tiny bits of glass are all over my room. She marches forward and then she pulls me by my hair. She pushes me forcefully and I hit the wall hard and I start to feel dizzy. The last thing I see through my blurry vision is Madam crying on the floor.

I need you Timothy, please help me.