chapter thirty-six
feelings
[anya rose steinburg]
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july 28th (1 month since the engagement)
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"hey mom!" i chuckle, walking into the house at the hamptons, shawn trailing behind me with our luggage. she rushes over to me, smiling, before embracing me.

"anya, darling." she chuckles, kissing my cheek. "congratulations, i'm so proud of you." i pull away from the hug, seeing her eyes pooling with tears. "for everything, your education, your life, and your engagement."

"thanks mom." i smile softly. "where's dad?"

"he's on a business trip to tokyo, sweetie." i frown slightly, sighing. i quickly put on a smile, as shawn embraces my mother.

"i am so sorry for not asking for your blessings- i know i should've, it's just in the situation it was difficult and-"

"oh shush, shawn." my mom laughs. "welcome to the family." shawn beams widely, his brown eyes sparkling. i chuckle, rolling my eyes, as he pulls away, holding onto the luggage again.

"we're gonna go up and unpack." i say, taking of my jacket and draping it over my arm. "we'll come down in a bit."

"take all the time you need, you two look exhausted, how was the flight?" my mom asks us, as shawn and i let out a low chuckle.

"turbulence was bad." shawn answers, picking up the suitcase. "i don't know, it was only for an hour though so i guess that's okay." my mom chuckles, walking away into the kitchen, leaving shawn and i alone in the main entrance hall.

"does everyone-"

"anya!" a toddler screams, cutting shawn off, as i see tommy hurdling himself and crashing into my legs. "i missed you!" he cheers, hugging my legs. i laugh, picking him up and placing him on my hip. it's only then he notices shawn. "shawn!"

"hey buddy." shawn chuckles, giving tommy a high five. "how are you, little guy?"

"are you two in love again?" he asks hopefully, clapping his little hands together.

"better, we're getting married not next year but the year after." i explain, making tommy squeal and smile widely.

"anya, shawn! guess what?" tommy yells, as i put him down. "matthew can walk! he follows me everywhere though, that gets annoying." he sighs dramatically, making shawn and i both laugh. the next thing we see is a smaller baby come rushing in on his chubby legs, carrying a bear, and a toothless smile upon his smooth face. tommy crawls out of my arms and into shawns, as i lean down, picking up baby matt and attacking him with kisses.

"hey baby!" i squeal, making him laugh loudly, as i tickle his chest with my fingers. "you can walk now? wow!" he gurgles something out, making me laugh. "are you gonna say hi to uncle shawn?" i coo, turning to face shawn, who's currently being attacked by tommy's hands over his stubble.

"hey superhero." shawn chuckles, noticing matts t-shirt. "do you remember me, buddy?" he asks, a hopeful smile on his lips. matt giggles, tucking his head onto my neck again, resting his head against the crook of my neck.

"matt, come back here." kelsey grumbles, before seeing shawn and i standing with the two kids. "holy crap, anya!" she squeals, rushing towards me and embracing me, making matt laugh harder. i chuckle, leaning back against her. "you're back!"

"only for a week, but i'm back." i laugh, as she chuckles.

"congratulations you two!" she squeals once more, bringing shawn into her hug, jumping up and down. "i'm so happy for you guys."

"thanks kels." i smile softly at her, handing her back matt, as shawn puts down tommy, and the two boys rush off back into another room.

"so is this it for you two? starting your lives together?" she smirks at shawn and i, as shawn attaches his arm around my waist.

"i guess so." i breathe out, with a small chuckle, looking up at shawn, as he grins down at me.

"we're having drinks in the garden bar tonight then." she decides, with a small smirk. "i'll let you two go and unpack, see you in a bit!" she hugs me once more, before running off into the room where matt and tommy wandered into.

"come on, we need to unpack." i say to shawn, lifting up my suitcase and guiding him up to my room. we enter the familiar bedroom, placing our things at the door of the bed, before i walk to the balcony doors, opening them, and getting some air into the slightly stuffy room.

"your birthdays coming up." shawn smirks at me, as i walk back into the room, seeing him holding an envelope in his hands.

"so's yours." i smirk back at him, folding my arms.

"i know, but take this." he chuckles, holding the white envelope out to me. i sigh, rolling my eyes playfully, before opening the envelope, revealing two plane tickets, with barcelona imprinted onto them.

"oh my god, shawn!" i squeal, looking up at him, as he lets out a small laugh. i jump up, wrapping my arms around him, as my legs find their way around his torso. he holds me up, his hands wrapping around my waist. "how did you know i wanted to go to barcelona?"

"we talk a lot, anya." he chuckles, as i roll my eyes, smiling down at him. "barcelona for your birthday, does that sound good?" i nod my head wildly, pecking his lips.

"that sounds perfect, truly." i mumble, smiling at him. "i can't wait, shawn."

"neither can i." he says back to me, kissing me once more. "just us, in barcelona."

"i love you." i say to him, as he puts me down again, chuckling.

"i love you." he repeats, pecking my forehead gently, as i place the plane tickets on my bedside table. he sighs deeply, flopping down onto my bed, resting his head against the pillow and sprawling his body out. i chuckle, rolling my eyes softly.

"what are you doing?" i ask him with a laugh. he groans, tucking his head into the pillow.

"sleeping." he mumbles, shutting his eyes. "come here, baby." i roll my eyes again, beaming at him, before i lie down next to him, his arms wrapping themselves around my waist. "do you want me to ask my connections if they can get sherri hill to design you a wedding dress?"

"i've seen a couple around that i already like." i chuckle, as shawn ticks his head into my neck. "i honestly have no idea on what i'm supposed to wear. can i just turn up in sweats and a t-shirt?"

"funny." he laughs, as i roll my eyes again, lightly shoving him. "can you believe it? we're actually getting married."

"it's crazy." i let out a laugh, the smile staying on my face. "you want kids, right?" i bite my lower lip in anxiousness.

"i do but there are so many ways we can do it differently, yeah?" he reminds me softly. "it's not the end of the world if we can't have kids, babe."

"i'm gonna look at treatments, and doctors." i say to him. "some of my parents friends had to get treatments to have kids, i can talk to them about things."

"anya, don't worry about these sort of things." he spoons me, pushing his head onto my neck, sighing softly. "the doctors said that there would be a chance we could have kids naturally, it's just a relatively low chance, love." he kisses my head as i let out a long sigh. "we need to worry about our wedding, not kids yet." i let out a small chuckle, rolling my eyes at him.

"where do you want it to be? we have family all over the world shawn, it's gonna be difficult to find a place to cater to everyone's needs." i say.

"well i kind of don't want an outside wedding anymore." he trails off, making me laugh.

"okay good, because neither do i." he laughs at my response. "what about a wedding in a large venue with lots of land so we can have the reception in a marquee? and we could find somewhere with a really nice setting so we could get great photos."

"that sounds perfect, honestly. but where? london? toronto? new york? somewhere else?" shawn questions.

"i have no clue." i sigh again. "i never thought weddings could be this stressful, especially ours."

"oh? so you think about marrying me?" he cocks a smirk at me as i turn to face him.

"mhm." i nod, leaning up and pecking his lips. "i dream about it all the time." his cheeks flush red, as he smirks, kissing me softly back. "come on, let's go down."
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"you guys threw a party? wow." i laugh, holding onto shawns hand as we enter the warm setting of the garden, which has been decorated to form a small, intimate garden party, with a bar set up near the pool. i notice a few family friends, and my family members dotted around the garden, including a few of my high school friends.

"well, you two are engaged." peter smirks at shawn and i, as he walks past, sipping on a vodka.

"come on, let's go get a drink." i lead shawn over to the bar, where is step behind it, examining the drinks. "what do you want, babe?"

"a gin and tonic, please hunny." shawn says, resting his arm against the bar, as i pour out his drink, and grabbing a white wine for myself. i hand him his glass, as he thanks me with a quick kiss on the cheek, before taking a long sip of his drink. he wanders off to the group of boys, saying hi to them.

i know i shouldn't be standing shocked about it, but i am a little sceptical why he would go to a group alone, especially for our engagement party. i know it's silly, stupid, and overprotective to me to think about, but do shawn and i not have the chemistry we used to?

"hey, anya!" jasmine yells at me, as she rushes over, clutching a beer bottle in her hands. "congratulations!" she squeals, hugging me tightly. i laugh softly, hugging her back.

"thank you, jas." i chuckle, letting go of her and taking a sip of my wine. "how have you been?"

"i've been great- uh oh." she says, looking behind me.

"what?" i question, confused all of a sudden.

"uh, come here, there's this flower i want to show you!" she grabs onto my arm and starts pulling me away, but i sigh, groaning at her, before shoving my arm away and turning around.

my heart drops as i see the oh so familiar blonde chatting up shawn, her beach waves tucked behind her ear as she sips on a glass of champagne. what the fuck is she doing here?

"you forgot she was related? yeah, me too." jasmine says from beside me. shawn lets out a small chuckle at her, before taking another long sip of his drink.

"who could forget her?" i mumble, my heart sinking as she lightly pushes shawns arm. "she started it all."
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who even is she?👀