chapter sixty-seven
feelings
[shawn mendes]
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whilst anya stays asleep the entire night, i find myself awake the majority of it, trying to find some sort of refuge in sleep from the exhausting day we had.

it gives me time to think and reflect on my own actions, as well as thinking about everything that's happened in the past six months. i've practically ruined my relationship with aaliyah, i'm becoming a father soon, and i've made my own sister heartbroken. great going, shawn.

the doorbell rings from downstairs and i scrunch my face up in confusion, wandering why anyone would be here at 3am. sighing, i unfold my arms from around anya, letting her sleep peacefully on her side of the bed, before i quickly pull on a hoodie over the tartan pyjama pants i already have on, before walking downstairs, grabbing my keys along the way. i unlock the door, opening it, revealing my sister standing there, the january snowfall for canada pelting down on her.

"what the heck aaliyah, come in, it's freezing." she nods, as i move to the side of the door, letting her rush into the warm house, taking off her scarf. "did you drive here?"

"i-i walked." she shivers.

"holy shit liyah, come on, i'll put on the fire." she nods again, following me into the main room, where i quickly turn on the fire, the warm blaze heating up the room quickly.

"shawn-" she begins, but i cut her off quickly.

"i'm so sorry." i quickly say, feeling many heart sink as aaliyah looks down at the floor. "i-i didn't mean for any of this to happen, at all."

"don't worry about it, shawn." she shakes her head. "i'm sorry."

"why are you apologising to me?" i ask helplessly, confused at why she is even trying to say sorry. "you did nothing wrong."

"yes i did." she quietly says. "i-i didn't realise that you're in a place where your emotions are all over the place, and me growing up probably led you to burst, i'm sorry for that." she looks down at the floor again, sniffling through the cold she has. i sigh, walking over to her, and sitting down on the floor next to her, wrapping my arm around her side.

"liyah." i whisper softly. "i was an idiot to say no to lucas, okay? he is perfect for you, and he treats you well, that's all i could ever ask for." i see her smile gently. "and about you growing up, i had to face it at some stage, it's just crazy to see you so grown up."

"it's crazy to see you so grown up, shawn, you're gonna be a dad in like three months." she chuckles, making me smile.

"it really is crazy." i breathe out a small laugh. "i'm sorry about not really being your brother recently."

"and i'm sorry about not being your sister recently." she responds.

"it's okay, am i forgiven?" i ask hopefully, as she laughs, nodding her head, and leaning closer to my side. "so, when's the wedding?"

"next year." she beams, her face heating up. "next summer."

"i better be walking you down the aisle." i warn her, as she laughs, nodding again.

"you and dad are." i smile gently at her, rubbing the side of her arm. "can i stay here tonight?"

"of course you can." i nod. "the guest room is ready anyway, you can sleep there." the two of us stand up, as i quickly turn off the fire, leading aaliyah upstairs to the guest room. "goodnight, if you need anything, you know where anya and i's room is."

"alright, thanks shawn." she says tiredly, giving me a sad smile. "goodnight." she slips inside the room, closing the door behind her, before i head back into my bedroom, seeing anya awake, and scrolling through her phone.

"you're up?" i ask with a small chuckle.

"avery." she smiles, as i grin back at her, getting back into my side. "where did you just go?"

"aaliyah's staying the night." i smile. "she came over to just sort things out."

"see, i told you everything will work out." she yawns, snuggling up to my side again, placing her phone down next to her. "i was right, yet again." i chuckle quietly at her, rolling my eyes.

"well, you weren't right about avery but okay then." i shrug, as she nudges my side. i laugh, whilst she rolls her eyes.

"i wanted my mini shawn." she groans, making me laugh again.

"we can always try again after avery, i have no problem with that." i shrug, as she gasps, slapping my arm. i laugh once again, wrapping my arms around her sides. "i'm kidding, but come on, it is inevitable that we're not gonna have another kid."

"fair." she shrugs, yawning against my neck. "alright, i'm tired." i chuckle, kissing her head gently. "night."

"goodnight darling."
-
"-i'm glad you two made up." anya says softly, as her and aaliyah sit in the kitchen, myself standing behind the door and listening to their conversation.

"me too." aaliyah responds. "it's a point in my life where i really need my brother, and i'm so glad i still have him."

"he really does love you, you know that right?"

"i know." aaliyah says again, making me smile. i decide to stroll into the kitchen, as anya catches sight of me, smiling, before picking up a mug of tea and handing it to me.

"morning girls." i say cheerily, taking the tea from anya's hand and pecking her lips gently.

"shawn, can i get a lift to trent? lucas has been staying there for the past few days." aaliyah asks me, as i nod, letting go of anya.

"sure, just tell me when you want to leave." anya nudges my side softly, glaring at me. "and i'll come with you to apologise to lucas." i add, as anya smiles gratefully at me. i roll my eyes playfully at her, letting out a small sigh.

"shawn, he's taller than you so i don't know why you're thinking you're the bigger person." aaliyah shrugs teasingly, as anya lets out a squeaky laugh, giving aaliyah a high five. i roll my eyes at the both of them, leaning back on the kitchen counter.

"yeah, yeah." i groan, smiling at the two giggling girls. "i have to get to the studio at some stage today too." i sigh, looking at anya, as she frowns slightly, but nods.

"how long are you planning to stay?" she asks me, as i shrug, taking my phone out.

"honestly? no idea." i sigh. "wanna come with me?"

"nah, i'll stay here." she folds her arms over her bump, letting out a small sigh. "i might as well start organising the nursery and stuff, i'll call jasmine to come help." i nod at anya, smiling gently at her, as she runs her hands over her baby bump. "when are you heading to new york again?"

"next month, but it'll only be for a couple days." i reassure her. "i'm so sad that you can't come because it's dangerous for the baby, but it won't be too long, love."

"i know." she sighs. "i'm just mad about the fact you're going when i'm seven months in so i can't go. it's for a show too, i'm mad." i let out a soft laugh, as she sighs, walking into my arms.

"you'll be able to see me perform so many times after that, i don't know why you're worried. you do realise i have a show in toronto a couple days after the one in new york, right?" i explain to her, as she pokes her head up, looking at me.

"wait, really?" she asks, hopeful. "oh my god, i didn't know that."

"hun i told you weeks ago." i laugh. "avery's really making your forgetful then?" her eyes light up as she smiles sarcastically, rolling her eyes at me.

"don't you blame your daughter." she says, chuckling. "i blame you, you need to keep reminding me. i think after finishing my english degree, i can't use my memory anymore." i chuckle at her, as aaliyah scrolls down oh her phone.

"i'm going for a shower." aaliyah says, not looking up from her phone as she walks out of the kitchen, up the steps of the house.

"please come to the studio with me." i mumble, as i hook my arm around anya's waist. "only for a couple hours, please."

"shawn," she sighs, placing a hand on her bump again. "you know we need to start on the nursery. i know we have everything but there are about fifteen large bags of just supplies in there, plus the three cardboard boxes too."

"okay you know what, screw the studio. i'm helping you today." she smiles widely at me, leaning up and pecking my cheek. "my mum also said she found a few things in the attic, we should go and grab them."

"she told me about something like that a couple days ago, she said she found your baby blankets or something like that." anya tells me, as i raise my eyebrows.

"wait, she found them? they've been lost for years, like years, almost 20 now." i say. "i'd love for avery to have them."

"well looks like we're heading to your parents house today then."
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@AnyaRose

👤: @ShawnMendes
❤️: @ShawnMendes, @camila_cabello, @jasminehannah + 1,273,766 others
💬: @AnyaRose: lazy mornings with my two favourites x

@shawnsroses: way to excited for this baby tbh

@user89: what cuties

@camila_cabello: can't wait to see little avery!! gonna be the best aunt out there💪🏼

@jasminehannah: my little cutie patotie

@ShawnMendes: I love you❤️

@aaliyahmende.s: pic credit😤😤

@laurenzzo_: can't wait for this new addition!!

@shellbetheone: this is honestly one of the most adorable things i've ever seen

@ShawnMendes and @AnyaRose liked @shellbetheone's comment

@ShawnMendes

👤: @AnyaRose
❤️: @johnmayer, @niallhoran, @AnyaRose and 5,339,657 others
💬: @ShawnMendes: My girls❤️

@AnyaRose: i love you so much🧡

@johnmayer: you guys are getting closer and closer to the big day!! ready for parenthood yet??

@aaliyahmende.s: man, you've grown up

@niallhoran: my boys a man now!!

@whatifitoldyouamendes: this is adorable bye

@illuminateee: i can't this is adorable

@ShawnMendes: @AnyaRose I can't wait
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happy thursday guys!! looks like i was able to get an hour of time free to quickly put this out!! hope you enjoyed x