chapter seventy-one
feelings
[shawn mendes]
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"hi, my name is shawn mendes and my wife here, anya mendes, is going into labour. we have a birth plan with our midwife, it's just we didn't realise it would be this early." i say, anxious as i hold anya in my arms, her breaths uneven and nervous for the next contraction to hit.

"oh my, okay, who's your midwife?" the receptionist asks, her eyes wide as she turns to an assistant. "get andrea to get this couple a birthing suite asap please."

"sarah winters." i answer, looking down at anya and pressing a kiss on her forehead.

"good news, she's free, and will be here any minute now." the receptionist says. "mrs mendes? any chance you'll be able to walk to your birthing room?" she shakes her head against my chest as she bites her lower lip, letting out a small squeak of pain. "alright sweetie, i'll go get you a wheelchair now." she stands up and walks around the desk, rushing around to find a wheelchair, before wheeling it back to anya and i, holding it in position.

"come on, darling." i say shakily, helping anya into the chair. she claws onto my arm, tears rushing down her cheeks as she battled with another intense contraction. "shh, i'm right here."

"i-i'm scared shawn," she mewls. "i'm so so scared."

"i have the birthing suite ready!" a doctor walks into the scene, spotting anya, myself and the receptionist waiting in one spot. "mrs mendes, is it?" the doctor asks, looking at her clipboard.

"y-yeah." anya stutters. "just call me anya."

"first born?" andrea asks, wheeling the chair, myself following next to them to a large door which opens up the reveal a birthing room which follows anya and i's exact requests.

"yeah, she's early though." i say nervously. "will everything be okay?"

"we will do our best to make sure a safe delivery." the doctor says, as the door opens again, and sarah speeds through the door. "mr mendes, if you could help anya onto the bed, that would be great."

"of course, and it's shawn." i reply, looking at anya who looks physically drained, as i sigh, lifting her up and placing her on the bed gently. "babe, i'm so sorry." i whisper quietly to her. "i-i'm such an idiot, i really didn't mean for any of it to happen."

"sydney's psycho, don't worry about it love." she chuckles tiredly, holding onto my hand as her legs hang over the bed.

"alright anya, we're gonna have to get you in a gown and hooked up immediately since your early." sarah explains, as anya looks at me frightened. "don't be worried, it'll all be fine, okay?"

after a few hectic moments, anya is dressed in a hospital gown, and lying on the bed, various machines and an iv hooked up to her. she clutches onto my hand as a few checks are done over her body and avery's heartbeat.

"well, her heartbeat seems fine, so that's good." andrea says. "we just need to check how far dilated you are."

"shit, shawn the hospital bag." anya curses at me, as she gets her legs pushed back and the doctor measures how far along she is.

"should i call my mum to go get it? actually, let me call everyone now." i say, getting my phone out and typing away a few things. "you want anything from home?"

"everything's in the hospital bag." she yawns, as the doctor flattens out her legs. "call my mom please, and jas."

"okay well good news is, you're four centimetres along already." andrea tells anya, taking off her gloves. "bad news is that if your water doesn't break soon, we're gonna have to pop it. now are you getting an epidural?"

"no." anya shakes her head. "but i'm having gas and air."

"alright that's no problem, i'll just get that set up for you." she smiles. "you two are in for a long night." anya groans as i let out a small chuckle, squeezing her hand gently.

"hey, tomorrow we're gonna have our little avery." i say quietly, making her smile and shut her eyes. "get some sleep, hun. you're gonna need it." she nods, bringing our joint hands to her lips, before kissing my hand and snuggling her head next to our hands.
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"hi mum." i say, holding my phone to my ear.

"hi sweetie, how are you?" my mums voice fills my ear and i immediately smile.

"i'm good, ecstatic even, hey listen," i pause, looking at anya. "anya's gone into labour. can you make it to the hospital anytime soon?"

"oh my goodness, you're kidding?" she bursts, as i let out a small chuckle. "we'll be there as soon as we can, i'll phone your sister about it, tell anya we send our love!"

"oh and mum?"

"yes dear?" she says, suddenly more excited.

"can you head over to the house and grab our hospital bag? it's a black suitcase in anya and i's bedroom, at the foot of the bed." i explain, looking at my sleeping wife, her bump wrapped in a huge band, and the heartbeat of our baby echoing through the hospital room already filled with noises.

"sure thing pumpkin. want me to get you any food? clothes?" she asks, as i ponder for a few moments.

"no food, i'll grab some here, but can you get me a pair of tracksuits, a top and a hoodie please? we're gonna be here for a while." i say. "thanks mum."

"no problem sweetie, hope anya's well, and we'll see you in a bit." she hangs up and i let a smile rest over my lips, knowing i've called everyone who anya wanted me to call, plus a few others. now, we have to play the waiting game.

anya stirs in her sleep, before her eyes flutter open and come into immediate contact with mine. "morning sleeping beauty." i tease, making her smile gently.

"what time is it?" she asks in a small voice.

"10pm." i sigh, looking at my watch. "go back to sleep, love."

"did you call everyone?" she asks me gently, playing with my hand.

"yeah, my mums coming over now with the hospital bag, your mom, kelsey, peter and matt are flying out now, so they should be here in the morning." i explain. "anya?"

"hmm?" she hums, looking directly at me.

"a-are you mad at me?" i stutter, worry filling my body almost immediately.

"it was the past shawn," she says, a sweet tone in her soft voice. "and we can't be living in the past, especially when avery's coming sooner rather than later." we both let out small laughs, looking into each other's eyes. "tomorrow- ouch." she whimpers suddenly, clutching her bump.

"hey, shh love." i whisper, sitting up and placing my hand over hers. "deep breaths, come on hun."

"we're never having a baby ever again." she mumbles, gritting her teeth through the pain. i frown slightly, rubbing my thumb over her hand, kissing it gently.

"god, i wish i could take your pain away." i say quietly to her. she smiles tiredly as the pain wares off, shutting her eyes briefly.

"it's okay shawn, it's not too bad." she replies to me, reassuringly. squeezing my hand lightly. the door bursts open, jasmine and nate rushing in, anya's head moving to look at them.

"holy shit you're actually having a baby." jasmine says, sitting down on the other side of anya. "how you feeling babe?"

"i-i'm okay." she stutters. "i-i'm scared though."

"we literally saw you this morning, and now you're in labour?" jasmine asks with a small chuckle. "wait, you're early. oh my."

"they think everything's okay." i say quietly. "you guys know sydney, right?" they both nod. "we bumped into her at dinner, things happen and i think the stress made her go into labour." i sigh softly, looking at anya who has her face scrunched up again. "another contraction?"

"you bet." anya groans, clenching onto my hand.

"oh sweetie, anya how are you?" the door opens again and my mum and dad, along with aaliyah and lucas rush into the fairly large room, carrying bags, balloons, and a huge teddy bear.

"hey karen." anya weakly smiles, as she unclenches her hand from mine.

"how is everything? are you feeling okay?" she asks, as i stand up from the chair i was seated in, letting my mum talk to anya.

"y-yeah i guess." anya stutters. "it's a little early but i'm ready to hold my baby." she smiles tiredly again, as my mum smiles back.

"is the pain bearable?" she asks again, her voice slightly softer.

"only just." anya chokes out.

"we brought your hospital bag with us, and shawn, i packed your backpack with your clothes." my mum tells me, as i nod, seeing the backs in the corner of the room. "are you two ready?" anya and i immediately make eye contact, myself smiling reassuringly at her, and anya biting her lower lip.

"we're ready." i answer, picking up my rucksack and opening it up, taking out my clothes. "okay, i'm gonna quickly go and change in the bathroom." they all nod as i escape into the ensuite bathroom, quickly changing into the sweatpants and t-shirt, leaving the hoodie in my bag.

"-shit! your water just broke!" i hear jasmine curse as i mess around with my hair. my head snaps to the door and i quickly open it, seeing anya looking around panicked, and mid contraction, clutching onto my mothers hand. i rush forward quickly, taking her hand and shushing her.

"someone get the doctor please." nate, my dad, and lucas walk out of the room, just leaving the girls and myself with anya, as andrea rushes into the large room, a smile on her face.

"alright, let me just check how far along you are and we'll see what we can do next."
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"shawn," anya cries, tears rushing down her cheeks as she clutches onto my hand and the gas pump. "it hurts so bad." she sobs, taking a breath of gas, before squeezing onto my hand again, letting out a cry of pain. my heart breaks for her, as i frown and brush back some of her hair which rests on her sweaty forehead.

"come on babe, only a little bit longer. the doctor said you were at nine centimetres." i reassure her, looking at the clock which reads 4am. my mum and anya's mother stand on the other side of the bed, anya's mother looking worried and anxious as she witnesses her daughter in the pain she currently is in.

"i-i can't do this." she lets out a scream of pain, as she cries once more, taking more and more gas in as she squeezes my hand even tighter.

"yes you can, anya rose." i remind her. "you've been through so much, i believe in you. come on love, you can do this." she lets out a huge puff of air, before i kiss her cheek gently, running my thumb over her hand. "shh, darling, everything's gonna be alright."

"s-shawn," she mewls a few moments later, clawing at my arm as our mothers look at her trembling body. "i-i-i need to push."

"shit," i curse. "mum, can you go call for the doctor and midwife please?" my mum nods and runs out of the room, calling for help.

"mom i cant do this." anya begins to panic as she turns to ashley, her breathing going unsteady, and my eyes going wide as the heart monitor begins to beep wildly.

"shh, calm down sweetheart." her mum says, rubbing her shoulder gently. "stay calm, don't panic, it'll all be okay, you'll be okay. you can do this."

"hey, hey, anya," i say quietly, gaining her attention. "in a few moments we're gonna have our little avery, she's actually gonna be here."

"s-she is." anya nods through her tears and grimaces of pain. "i-i love you, shawn." she whispers, as i grin at her, wiping away her tears with my spare hand.

"i love you, anya rose." i whisper back, pecking her lips briefly, before she lets out another shriek of pain.

"alright! let's check how far you are along!" andrea gasps, walking into the room and immediately sitting on the end of the bed, checking how far along anya is. "sarah, call for extra support, the baby's already crowning." i let out a small gasp, looking at anya who's observing the scene wide eyed. "ready to deliver your baby, anya?"

"no but let's do it." she moans, shutting her eyes tight, as she lets out a grunt of pain.

three more doctors walk into the room, and our mothers are told to leave. it's obvious anya didn't want either one of them to leave, but the doctors advised it, so anya agreed. almost immediately, her legs get hoisted up and she lets out another scream of pain.

"she's got to calm down." a doctor mumbles. "it's gonna be bad for the baby."

my head starts to swim with bad thoughts as the doctors and midwifes look concerned at each other, trying to get anya to calm down.

"anya look at me." i say firmly, yet slowly. "you will be okay, please calm down my love." i whisper. "we're gonna see avery so soon darling, think of it that way." her sobs turn into sniffles as she nods, shutting her eyes briefly. "i love you so much baby, you can do this."

"ready to push?" andrea asks anya, as she lets out a small nod, biting her lower lip. "okay on the count of three, push as hard as you can for ten seconds." anya nods again, a tear rolling down the side of her cheek. "one, two, three, push!"

anya shouts her eyes firmly as she squished her chin to her chest, pushing with all the force in her, before the doctor counts to ten and she collapses back onto the bed, breathing heavily, reaching for the gas.

"okay, on the next contraction do the exact same thing, you're doing great sweetie." andrea says again, as i watch the scene, tears pooling in my own eyes as anya nods, clutching my hand tightly. "push!" andrea yells, as anya lets out a strangled groan, pushing through her pain.

"the heads crowning, okay anya, two more pushes just like that and you'll have your baby in no time!" my heart begins to face, tears finding their way down my cheeks. i bring anya's hand up to my lips, smiling gently at her.

"come on love, you can do this." i reassure her. she turns her head to me, leaning up for a kiss. i lean down, capturing her lips in mine, kissing her softly.

"push!" anya pulls away from our kiss, pushing once more, letting out a scream as her face mirrors a sense of pure pain. i kiss her forehead again, whilst she squeezes my hand tightly once more. "the heads out, come on anya, one more push!" the other doctors pull at her legs to widen them, before anya lets out a final cry and push, dropping back to the bed in relief as the cries of a baby are heard around the large room.

"oh my god." i mumble, bringing my spare hand up to my mouth and looking at our baby girl in astonishment, as she's held up, her nose being cleaned immediately. anya breathes heavily, her breaths uneven and ragged, before she looks at me, a small smile toying at her lips.

"shawn, would you like to cut the cord?" andrea asks me, supporting avery's head as two other doctors mark out the place where i need to cut. i nod, my eyes going wide in shock, as i look adoringly at my child. sarah hands me a cutter and tells me where to cut, as i quickly snip it off, and avery gets wrapped in a hospital blanket, or rather towel, before she's lifted up and handed to anya.

"oh my god." anya repeats, crying tears of joy instead of tears of pain, the droplets rushing down her cheeks wildly as a huge smile covers her face. "hi baby girl." avery gets placed into anya's arms, resting her little body over anya's chest, as she immediately calms down, her cries turning into sniffles as she hugs close to her mothers chest.

in that moment, i feel a certain element of finality. it's as if everything in my life has finally settled and become good once more, and i couldn't be happier at the scene in front of me.
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so baby mendes is here??