chapter seventy
feelings
[anya rose mendes]
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"hey!" jasmine squeals, as shawn and i get invited into her home, the smell of freshly baked cookies wafting through the house. "how are you?"

"good, how are you?" i reply, hugging her back, escaping the cold late winter of toronto.

"great thanks," she beams, as nate comes into view, greeting shawn at the door. "how's the baby?"

"she's all good." i smile, taking off my jacket, revealing my eight month bump. "i mean, she keeps me up at night, but what baby doesn't keep their mother up at night?" the two of us let out a small laugh, as shawn and i wander into the house, heading straight to the dining room, where we sit on opposite sides, jasmine next to me, and nate next to shawn.

"so what did you want to talk to us about?" nate asks us. shawn and i look at each other briefly, small smiles on our lips.

"well," shawn begins. "anya and i were talking a couple nights ago about who we wanted to be ave's god parents, and basically-"

"we decided we wanted you two to be her god parents." i blurt out. "so, what do you say?"

"uhm, yeah of course!" jasmine says loudly, a huge smile enveloping her face as she leans over to hug me again. "oh my god, i'm so excited!"

"wow, thanks guys." nate chuckles at his excited wife, before the two of them link eyes and nod at each other. "we actually have something to say too."

"i'm pregnant." jasmine says, making me gasp in shock. "only three weeks, but i'm pregnant."

"jasmine!" i gasp, standing up and leaning down to hug her once more. "congratulations! i'm so happy for you!"

"so we're both gonna have kids soon eh?" shawn smirks. "congrats, you guys."

"they're gonna have the same age gap as us, how sweet is that?" jasmine tells me, a smile on her lips.

"that's incredible, oh my god, they can be best friends!" i squeal, making her laugh.

"anya, they're gonna be cousins you idiot." jasmine chuckles, making me grin in embarrassment.

"pregnancy brain has been getting to her recently." shawn teases, grinning at me. i roll my eyes playfully, placing a hand on my bump. "nate be warned, jasmines gonna start saying some really stupid things soon."

"uh oh, like what?" nate chuckles, as my cheeks flush in embarrassment as shawn smirks at me, ready to tell a few stories.

"well we were at the store the other day, and she forgot the word for milk." shawn laughs. "then she forgot the way to our bedroom at home."

"we have a big house!" i complain, making the group laugh. "well, it's not just my fault let's put it that way."

"you're the one who's pregnant." shawn shoots back, making me roll my eyes again.

"it takes two to make a baby, darling." i smirk at him, as he lets out a small laugh, finding my feet under the table and softly kicking them.

"are you calling me dumb?" shawn gasps sarcastically, making me laugh, nodding. "oh babe, i wish you weren't so blind."

"see what i have to deal with?" i ask jasmine, a small smirk on my lips. "i live with that idiot, heck, i'm married to that idiot."

"you love that idiot." shawn pipes in, making me laugh again.
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"i'll have the fettuccini with mushroom sauce, and a side of cheesy garlic bread, oh- and a plate of olives and ham, thank you." i say, smiling as i hand the waiter my menu, shawn chuckling and shaking his head.

"i'll take the sweet potato lasagne." he says, handing the waiter the menu. "can we also get another jug of water? and a refill of her soda for the lady?" i feel my cheeks heat up as shawn automatically signals that i need a top up of my drink.

"is that all?" the waiter asks with a small smile.

"yes, thank you." i answer, smiling back.

"you two make a great couple, congratulations by the way." he smiles back, walking away with our menus. i turn to shawn, teaching over and holding onto his hand as he grins at me.

"remind me why we have been going out on so many dates recently?" i ask him, as he chuckles, smiling at me.

"after avery comes we're not gonna have any time to go on dates, unless my mum looks after her, but we can't get her to look after ave all the time." he explains. i nod understandingly, letting out a small sigh. "only three more weeks."

"it's gone by so fast." i mumble, frowning slightly. "it feels like yesterday when we found out i was pregnant."

"it really does." shawn replies, squeezing my hand. "we're gonna be able to hold her so soon, babe."

"it's so exciting shawn." i grin, feeling a warmth spread through my body. "i can't wait to finally hold her."

our food arrives soon after, small eddies of steam rushing from the hot food, shawn and i'd stomachs rumbling in contentment at the sudden arrival of exquisitely tasting food. we thank the waiter graciously, before he walks off to greet another couple, seating the youngsters to my immediate left, and shawns immediate right. i turn to look at the girl, and i freeze, her face looking familiar. sydney.

"uhm," i cough, looking at shawn and tilting my head to my side. "wanna see this text jas sent me? it's hilarious hold on." i say, picking up my phone and quickly typing a message in a random chat and showing it to shawn. his eyes go wide as he sneakily looks next to him, spotting the girl he cheated on.

"wait, shawn?" sydney notices shawn looking at her, and he immediately turns his head to face me.

"hi sydney." he says, putting on a fake smile, but still not turning his head.

"hey sydney, how are you?" i nudge shawns foot gently under the table as i turn to face the young girl, who doesn't look a day older than 17 still, even though she probably is 24 by now.

"oh hi, i'm good thanks, how are you?" she smiles, her eyes trailing to my bump, and her smile slightly faltering. "you're pregnant?"

"yeah, due in three weeks." i chuckle nervously, looking at shawn. he looks down at his plate, picking at his meal carefully.

"would you excuse me?" she turns to the guy in front of her, as she quickly rises from her seat, rushing out of the restaurant. shawn looks up at me, shrugging, as i quickly excuse myself, following her out of the restaurant.

"sydney, wait!" i yell, catching up with the girl as fast as my tired feet can take me. she stops in her tracks, turning around and folding her arms at me. "what's up?"

"what's up?" she laughs sarcastically. "what's wrong is that you're freaking pregnant and still with shawn!"

"sydney, whatever happened, happened six years ago. it's time you let go." i say to her calmly, as she lets out a frustrated sigh, flipping her hair and pursing her lips at me. "come on, what's really wrong?"

"i'm still in love with shawn, okay?" she yells, throwing her hands up. "but no, he has to be in love with you. you ruin everything! just because your boyfriend was abusive to you doesn't mean-"

"h-how did you know that?" i stutter out, confused. she raises her eyebrows at me, but almost immediately her frown turns into a smirk, as she looks behind me. i turn around, seeing shawn standing there, shaking his head at sydney.

"sydney, don't." shawn spits. "you've done enough to anya and i, don't."

"wanna know why he was always late coming home from the studio about seven months ago?" she smirks at me, as i continue to look at shawn confused. "why don't you tell her, shawn?"

"w-what's going on?" i stutter, feeling tears brim my eyes. "shawn?"

"i-it was nothing, she needed help with songwriting. i just helped her." he says, his eyes showing nothing but the truth.

"that's not all." sydney butts in. "we kissed quite often." i turn back to face shawn, a tear escaping my eye.

"darling i swear i didn't, don't believe her twisted lies." he reassures me. "sydney, leave, anya's pregnant, we don't want anything happening." shawns voice cracks at the end as he places his hand on my lower back.

"did you tell her about that day? that day in the coffee shop when you fought about me and she left to go shopping?" my mind flashes back to how i gave sydney money to make something for shawn to eat. obviously they would've had to have made some sort of contact. "did you tell her about what we did in the bathroom? i have pictures shawn, don't bother about lying."

"i didn't sleep with you!" shawn yells. "i only made out with you!"

"you what?" i burst, turning to shawn.

"anya it was purely sympathetic and platonic, i'm being honest here." he says calmly, almost trying to calm me down. he cups my cheek gently, wiping away my tears. "come on, let's go back in."

"you're such a dick!" sydney yells, coming forward to shawn and pushing his chest. "don't you understand? i'd be so much better than anya!"

"no you fucking won't." shawn let's go of me, his eyes fuming. "no one will ever be better than anya, and that's a fact." he spits. "how did i even help you with that songwriting? obviously it was for nothing! i don't see you successful or any better at singing than what i heard when we were dating!" he yells. "leave us the fuck alone. it's time you grew up."

"i bet you didn't tell anya about the fact you bought a pregnancy test for me. or the fact that after you and her fought when you were cheating on me, you came back to me and immediately we slept together?" she shoots back.

"sydney, shut the fuck up before i call the fucking police to get a restraining order against you."

i feel a wave of pain run through me, as i let out a squeal and fall to the ground, clutching my bump.

"i bet you would love to see me get a restraining order! your perfect little family would be protected then!" sydney yells.

"shawn," i mewl, feeling the pain get worse in my lower abdomen. "s-stop." he turns around and his eyes widen at me on the floor, clutching my bump.

"holy shit, anya!" he yells, crouching down next to me and grabbing onto my hand. "hun, what's wrong?"

"w-we-" i let out a strangled cry as another wave of pain hits me, shawn bringing me to his chest almost immediately.

"shit, babe, i'm gonna need to get you to a hospital." he curses under his breath, hooking his arms under my legs and effortlessly lifting my weight and the baby's weight up. "don't worry, shh, stay calm." he says quietly to me, as he rushes to our parked car. "what hurts, love?" he opens up the back seat, slowly putting me down and placing his hand on my thigh.

"shawn," i mumble, steadying my breath, as the pain begins to die down. "i-i think the baby's coming. e-early."
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well then...