chapter fifty
feelings
[anya rose steinburg]
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october 25th
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i roll over in my bed at the hamptons, smiling at the handsome man beside me, before i bring my hand up to his cheek, trailing my fingertips over the slightly blushed skin.

two years already.

i feel him smile under my fingers and i chuckle softly to myself, biting my lower lip and pulling the duvets closer to our bodies which are intertwined with each other. shawn buries his head in my neck, chuckling softly, as i rake my fingertips over his shoulders.

"morning." he mumbles in his hoarse voice. "happy anniversary, my love," he sits up, pressing his lips to my forehead. i chuckle softly, cuddling up to his chest.

"happy anniversary, shawn." i smile softly up at him, as he cups my cheek, running his thumb over the raised apple. "i can't believe it's been two years."

"neither can i, hun." he mumbles again, pressing a kiss to the tip of my nose, before leaning down and nuzzling our noses together. i giggle quietly, as shawn breathes out a small laugh, making me sigh. "these last two years have been the best two years of my life. i truly do love you, anya rose."

"i love you." i reply, making shawns cheeks flush. "i actually, uh, i wrote you something." i blush, sitting up in bed and leaning over to pick up the wrapped up gift, which contains a leather bound notebook, with a small poem i wrote for shawn on the inside. he sits up next to me, taking the gift from my hands, and opening up the wrapping paper gently, revealing the brown leather, tied together with a brown cord.

"hunny..." he trails off, picking it up and opening it, revealing the poem.

"read it." i urge, snuggling to shawns side, as he wraps an arm around me, opening his mouth to start reading.

"dear my love," he begins, making me smile gently.
"two years, of pure love, i have known you for;
each year bringing great struggles of their own;
i didn't realise how easy it was to fall in deep,
until i met your caramel pools of eyes.
each day, i swear, my endearment for you deepens;
wanting to hold you close, and repeat those three words to you;
as much as i can in all due course,
i adore your flaws, i adore your perfections;
but most of all, i adore you." he finishes, his cheeks tinted red.

"you like it?" i ask quietly, as shawn puts the book down, cupping my cheek again.

"i love it, baby." he mumbles, leaning down and pressing his lips softly against mine, the two mounds brushing my lips ever so slightly, before he pulls away, a burning sensation left on my lips. "i'm sorry love, i haven't gotten you anything." he frowns, his eyes suddenly looking guilty. i shake my head, chuckling at him.

"i don't need any gifts, baby, the best gift i could have is your love." i say, as he smiles again, kissing my forehead. "can we have a lazy day today?"

"yes we can." he chuckles. "and we can also do a little wedding planning too, since we won't be getting up."

"yes!" i giggle again, flopping down onto my pillow, sighing. "gross, two years with you." i tease, making shawn gasp sarcastically.

"bullshit, you love me." he smirks back, leaning down and hooking his arms around my waist, kissing my cheek over and over again, making me laugh.

"stop!" i squeal, laughing, as shawn chuckles, spooning me softly. i let out a sigh, leaning against shawns chest.

"are you gonna tell your mom?" shawn asks me quietly. "about, you know?" i sigh, frowning.

"i-i don't know." i bite my lip anxiously. "like i don't want to tell her and then find out it's not true. even though it probably is true."

"don't worry about it, love." he says softly to me. "whatever you decide to do, i'll support you, no matter what."

"i love you." i hum, snuggling against his chest.

"i love you." he repeats, holding me tighter, warming my slightly cold body up.
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"no, white and grey." shawn argues, as i scroll through my laptop, making a mood board for the colour scheme of the wedding.

"white and periwinkle blue!" i argue back, placing the two shades onto the mood board.

"but white and grey would go." shawn pouts.

"well so does white and periwinkle blue." i groan, sighing softly. "okay, how about white, grey and periwinkle blue?" i ask him, placing the three colours on the page. he smiles widely, nodding, making me laugh. "okay so flowers now."

"roses." he smirks, resting a hand on my thigh. "and peonies."

"i want my bouquet to have roses and peonies." i smile, knowing shawn has been listening to me for the past couple of months. "how about we incorporate our mother's' favourite flowers too?"

"what's your moms favourite?"

"she loves tulips." i say. "i know your mum likes orchids, and blue ones too, so they'll definitely fit the theme. white tulips and blue orchids."

"that sounds perfect, babe." he says softly to me, tracing patterns on my thigh. "so flowers and colours are settled, we've got the venue, we have the cake and food menu ordered, what else?"

"music." i say.

"i want to sing a song." he says softly. "is that okay?"

"i'd love that." i smile gently at him, nodding. "so then we just get a wedding dj? and what about our first dance?" i ask, pulling up my spotify account. "let's make a playlist."

"well what songs can we have for our first dance?" he asks.

"thinking out loud, perfect, tenerife sea, hearts don't break around here, kiss me-"

"so ed, basically?" he chuckles, cutting me off. i nod, smiling.

"i've always wanted to slow dance to a song by ed sheeran on my wedding day." i say quietly, making shawn smile.

"thinking out loud?" he suggests, as i quickly nod, a huge smile covering my lips.

"i would love that." he smiles, leaning down and pressing his lips to mine firmly, kissing me softly, before pulling away and grinning at me again. "shawn, we're getting married."

"i can't imagine anyone better to marry." he says quietly. "i love you so much, it's actually unreal how in love i am with you."

"i love you more, baby." i say softly, rubbing my hand through shawns hair, smiling softly at him, as he sighs, leaning down and laying his head on my lap, letting out another soft sigh. i continue to massage his scalp with my hands, as he shuts his eyes, holding one of my thighs in his arms.

"when do you want to have kids?" shawn asks me, opening his eyes.

"maybe in about four or five years? what about you, love?"

"yeah same here." he says, snuggling closer to me. "i want a girl to look just like you."

"and i want a mini shawn." i chuckle, as he lets out a small smile.

"so two kids then?"

"two." i confirm, nodding at him.

"what about names?" he asks. "i really like the name avery, or sierra."

"how about both? avery-sierra mendes." i compromise. "i really like the name liam or noah."

"how about liam-noah mendes then?" he suggest, imitating me. i chuckle softly, rubbing my hand through his curls again. "we are talking about baby one, right? because we could always have two girls or two boys."

"yeah, baby one." i chuckle again, as shawns cheeks flush pink. i continue to run my hands over his scalp, making him sigh softly again.

suddenly, the door bursts open and peter rushes in, his hair soaked from the rain outside.

"what?" i ask, looking at him as shawn sits up, opening his eyes.

"both of you, stay up here. dan's back, he has a knife."
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more drama?