I like to think of me as tough though it's not easy I remember once reading a story about a kid who could take body and mental pain away from people they care about and well I may not have supernatural powers but I try to take the pain away. My father had a stroke years ago and ever since I haven't slept fully for years being to afraid to less something happen to him and I'm not there to help.

And my best friend , my best friend and I are kindred spirits we like the same stuff and everything,I still remember how we became best friends I was at my lowest point in life I thought of carving up my mouth and face with a knife and I would have if he hadn't stopped me. So when I hear the crap he's going or gone through I want to take the pain away by giving it to myself so end up doing stuff like hitting my hands in a door holding them up to a grill, digging and apple cutting into my skin candle flame or choking myself with a bath tie anything if my prayer don't work hell I added something new holding a razor to my throat that's how dedicated I am to him because I can't stop crying whenever he's upset 

Phew maybe After another prayer I'll nap or drink myself better at the bar who knows I just hope I'll be able to stop doing this one day