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augustjgomez vulnerability is something i never show on the internet but after talking with josh i think it's time to share it.

gross couple stuff ahead: josh and i never really fight... like ever. and if we do it's petty shit that we get over within seconds, but a couple weeks ago it didn't feel that way.

plenty of tears, not talking to each other for days over the different views we had.

and before you ask... josh and i are still happily together lol.

i never expected to argue with josh in the way that we had. i was shocked, scared, sad, and angry and i know he felt the same way.

with that shock, anger, sadness, etc. we decided to put it out there in the best ways we could... music duh.

i was able to meet up with my friend @reneerapp a couple weeks ago and we wrote something close to both our hearts. in the kitchen out now <3

as for joshua, he wrote some songs that means a lot to him and i think you should check it out: i'm sorry out everywhere <3

thanks for reading and letting me be show this side of me on the internet. it's hard and scary and something i've never thought i'd do. thank you all. much love to everyone.

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username how bad was the fight for them to write songs like this?

ballerinangelina love you always
↳ augustjgomez love you more

username "stranger to lovers to enemies" OH MY GOD HELLO
↳ username "ever since that day the things I didn't say they haunt me" oh they were both hurt

joshuatbassett love you always <3
↳ augustjgomez through thick and thin <33

username they way he brought her mom up in im sorry like he knew he fucked up
↳ username i'm pretty sure everyone knows (not sure) that august frequently goes back to texas to sit at her mother's grave and just talks to her. i'm sure josh goes with her from time to time so who knows what august could've been telling her when her and josh fought.

reneerapp thank you for sharing your story with me and allowing me to be part of this song. we gotta go out and make a kickass, pumped up song next!
↳ augustjgomez for sure! thank YOU for sharing your heartbreak story with me! i'll see you soon leighton :)
↳ reneerapp i'll text you shiloh :)

username but what was the fight about?

ONE MONTH AGO

AUGUST AND Joshua had never really fought. They always presented themselves as the "perfect couple".

You know, that Pinterest aesthetic type of shit. No one ever really heard anything negative come from either of them.

But something had snapped. It shouldn't have been as big as it was. But maybe it was pent up anger, sadness.

August and Josh were emotional people. They could always talk to each other about things that bothered them. But what happened took a drastic and somewhat dramatic turn as the day drew further on.

The fight took place in New York. Joshua had a penthouse there and August had been over for the week... just because she wanted to.

She was leaving that Saturday. She already had everything packed.

She entered the penthouse with a smile and two Starbucks drinks in her hands.

"You would not believe the line at that Starbucks." She chuckled, "It was like-"

Josh stood in the hallway with an even larger smile on his face.

"What are you so smiley about?" She asked.

"I've been thinking about this for the longest time, but I think it's the perfect time to ask."

"Just don't get down on one knee." She laughed.

"I'm not." He smiled, "But I think it would great if you moved in."

"Moved in? In this penthouse?"

Joshua held his smile, "Yeah! It'd be cool wouldn't it?"

"Josh... I don't know."

Look, even though August wrote that song about moving in with Josh, you know, "We're too old to live with our parents. Do you wanna wake up to me every morning?", that lyric, but she wasn't truly ready for it.

Moving out of Texas was a big step and moving into an apartment with Angelina and Alana was something she almost feared.

Moving in with Josh... her significant other? That was a huge step in their relationship and she wasn't ready to jump on that bandwagon yet... which should be totally understandable, right?

"Come on, look."

Josh grabbed August's hand and pulled her into a room. It was bare expect for the guitar that sat in its stand.

"We could write songs in here." He smiled, separating from her side, "Make a at home studio, you know? I was looking up ideas and-"

"Josh." August called, "This is very sweet... a great idea even."

"And look, we could even have a piano here and just miscellaneous shit on the walls."

"Josh, I need you to listen to me."

He turned to face her, "You don't like the studio idea?"

"No." She she sighed, "Yes, I love it, but I don't think... I'm ready to move in with you. New York is so far from L.A. and I've adapted very there. I don't really know anyone in New York."

"You know me."

"Yes, I do. And I'm glad I do, but Angelina is all the way in L.A. I wouldn't be here without her. I don't really plan on leaving her anytime soon."

Josh took in her words and nodded slowly. He stepped to the side and left the room for a moment to process it.

August followed behind slowly, not saying anything until he did.

In his mind, it seemed that August was ready to move in with him. She had spoken so highly of New York and the atmosphere. She loved everything about it and he thought that she would've been comfortable enough to move in with him.

But with August came Angelina it seemed.

"So, you're not comfortable living with me?"

"I am. I'm just not ready for it. It's a big thing to do Josh."

"But you'd move in if Angelina came with?"

August furrowed her brows, "What?"

"So, if Angelina moved anywhere in the world and she asked you to come, you'd say yes, without a question of a doubt?"

"Why are you angry all of a sudden?" She asked, "Because I don't wanna move in with you yet? Or is this something else?"

Josh smiled, "Whatever August."

"Don't bullshit me, Josh." She called, "What's wrong?"

"I don't wanna talk about it, okay. It think that should be good enough for you."

"It's not. You're were pouncing off the wall when you thought I'd move in and all of a sudden you're shitting on me because I don't wanna leave L.A. yet?"

"You don't wanna leave L.A. because Angelina's not moving. That's it August. Because I know if Angelina packed her shit up and moved anywhere across the world you'd follow behind."

"She's the only family I have Josh. If you have a problem with that you can fuck off."

"And what am I?

"Oh my, God, Joshua it was never that serious. Okay? Angelina is the closet thing I can call home."

"Then maybe you should go back."

"Go back? Back where?"

"Home."

Josh brushed past August and left the girl alone in his apartment.

The two of them didn't speak that night.

And it really got to Josh.

Did he overreact? Possibly but he had feelings to and his were hurt. He was excited about the possibility of his girlfriend moving in with him and she said no.

He chosen to sleep in the guest bedroom that night after he'd come home and found his bedroom door closed.

But he'd woken up early before August's flight home to apologize.

"Hey, August?" He called, "August? Look, I know you're angry and you have every right to be. I'm sorry."

Josh knocked on his bedroom door and waited for her response. He was met with a loud silence.

He called her name once more and pushed the door open to find his bedroom empty.

She was in his bathroom. She wasn't even in the apartment anymore.

She left in the middle of the night.

No goodbyes, no see you laters, no I love you. August grabbed all of her shit and left without saying goodbye.

AND TO make matters completely worse, August had to go back L.A. to meet with Reneé Rapp for a song that had agreed to work on.

Something upbeat. Something like Reneé's song Too Well.

August had stopped by her apartment and dragged her luggage inside and tossed them into her room.

Angelina peaked her head inside August's bedroom with a bright smile on her face.

She wrapped her arms around everlasting friend, a sister of sorts, and finally got a look at her face when she brushed the hair out of August's face.

"Hey, Gus." She softly spoke, "What's wrong? Missing Josh already? He's coming in a week or two isn't he?"

"Nothing, Angel. We fought before I left."

"Oh. August Gomez and Joshua Bassett fought? Like... was it a big fight?"

August didn't want to tell Angelina that the fight was predominantly about her.

"Kind of, but I have to get to get ready to met up with Reneé. I'll talk to you about it later."

August threw the last bag of hers onto her bed and walked into her bathroom and as Angelina began to leave the girls bedroom, August's phone rang.

Angelina walked back over to the bed and saw Josh's contact name light up the screen.

She was reluctant to answer but did anyway.

"August." Josh spoke quickly, almost as if he'd ran a mile, "I'm sorry, okay? What I said was ridiculous, okay? And I-"

"It's Angelina."

There was a moment of silence before Josh spoke once more.

"Where's August?"

"Probably crying in that bathroom. She's meeting with Reneé remember?"

Josh wiped his hand down his face and sighed, "That's today?"

"Yeah, she's supposed to working on a song with her." Angelina explained, "You know, something upbeat. But that probably won't be the case."

"Did she tell you?"

"She didn't have to."

"Angelina, I'm sorry."

Angelina furrowed her brows, "What are you apologizing to me for?"

Josh sat down on his couch and rested his head in his hands. August hadn't told Angelina that she was the center of the fight. That's why he was apologizing to her.

"Look Josh. You and August have never fought like this before. Whatever either of you did... I hope you can work it out."

Angelina didn't bother waiting for Josh to respond as she hung up the phone and left August's bedroom.

It was never that serious of a thing to get upset over was it? Dramatic but valid. Josh was upset that August wasn't ready to move in and August was upset that Josh didn't understand her perspective.

Just a messy situation overall.

TO ADD to all of the misfortune, August and Reneé hadn't written the teeny bop song they wanted to.

They had written the complete opposite and talked about heartbreak and agony. But maybe that wasn't such a misfortune. Maybe the song would be better than the pop song they wanted to get out into the world.

It took a couple of days to get the sound right but they got it done.

August was out with Reneé once again to get what they hoped was the final project. Meaning, Alana was home alone. Angelina had gone out with Jacob and Xolo for a couple of hours.

Alana bopped her head as she headed downstairs and opened the door and saw Josh standing before her.

She took one of her earbuds out and stared up at the curly haired boy.

"Hey, I thought you'd be here sooner." Alana said.

"I hate to be rude, but where's August?"

Alana smiled. She had no idea about the fight that the couple had and was only expect Josh to be here the week he'd said he would be.

"She went to the studio with Reneé." Alana answered, letting him inside, "I'm sure she'll be excited to know that you've finally come. How's New York?"

Josh sat his bag down and followed Alana into the kitchen, rubbing his hands down his sweatpants.

"Pretty stressful."

"Sorry to hear that Josh. I'm sure L.A. will bring you up and if not that August definitely will."

"She didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?" Alana asked, but she quickly changed the subject once she remembered the CD on the table, "Oh my, God! I completely forgot that August left what might be the finalized version of the song with Renee. Wanna listen?"

"I don't think that's-"

"Oh come on, she's not gonna mind."

Alana began her venture upstairs and Josh slowly followed behind.

He finally reached the girls' office and Alana was already sitting in a chair with the CD playing aloud.

"So I'll dance with your ghost in the living room. And I'll play the piano alone. But I'm too scared to delete all our videos, 'cause it's real once everyone knows."

Josh pressed his body against the doorframe and continued to listen to August and Reneé's voices almost blend together.

"Ain't it funny how time shows you, you know nothing. 'Cause I used to love you. But now you're dead to me. Strangers, to lovers, to enemies."

Alana turned the demo off and sighed, "Jesus Christ that's sad. Definitely not what I thought she'd said it was."

Alana turned in her chair expecting to see Joshua standing close by, but he was gone.

Like, gone gone. He wasn't in the apartment and he wasn't in L.A..

He'd gone back to New York and hadn't said anything to August. He didn't know what to say to August other than sorry.

He was truly sorry.

EXPRESSIONIST. THE one word that could describe Joshua Bassett's music.

He songs could be heartfelt, sad, happy, joyful, raw... many, many things.

But when it came to August... he felt like himself. The self that he could be honest with. The self that knew he couldn't keep running away from the problem at hand.

August and Josh had kept in contact. They hadn't physically seen each other or called on the phone. Everyone one of their conversations were wrapped up in a blue bubble.

There had been a week where August had completely ghosted Joshua without saying why, but when she had ghosted it him. It had put it into perspective that they couldn't keep doing this anymore.

Josh booked a flight to L.A. and as he was dragging his luggage through LAX, he paused as he caught sight of his redheaded girlfriend standing mere feet in front of him with her own luggage in her hands.

Without any words the two of them left the airport and back to August's apartment.

The apartment was empty and dark. The silence building up between the couple could break the spine of a camels back.

It was dreading.

Neither of them spoke as August dragged her luggage back into her bedroom and Joshua watching her.

He deeply sighed and followed the girl. He reached her bedroom door and saw her pulling clothes out of her suitcase.

"I'm sorry."

August didn't stop her actions as Josh apologized.

"Where were you?" Josh asked.

August turned, "What are you talking about?"

"When you stopped messaging me. Where were you?"

"I went home." She answered, "I needed someone to talk to."

Josh didn't continue to talk. He was confused. She was in L.A., so who could've talked to her beside Angelina? Jacob? Olivia?

"I sometimes think it's easier to talk to her when I'm actually with her." August continued, "I was there for hours. Some times I would just sit there."

Texas. August went home. She sat at her mother's grave for hours on end either talking about her situation with Joshua or would sit in silence and enjoy the time while she was there.

"Does she hate me?"

August chuckled, facing him once more, "No. And I don't have you either."

Joshua finally stepped into her bedroom. He sat down in her chair and she sat across from him on her bed.

"I'm really sorry, August."

"I still love you Josh."

The fight wasn't serious in any aspect and shouldn't have been that serious in the first place.

August and Joshua hadn't fought like that ever and that's what made it different for them. It held angry emotions that neither of them had expressed to each other ever.

And Josh was worried, not that August didn't love him anymore, but the reassurance and her saying it out loud pulled weight off of his shoulders.

Josh turned his face away from August. His face getting hot and his eyes brimming with tears.

August stood from her bed, playing with the rings on her fingers to release some of the nerves that had quickly built up in the matter of seconds.

From the corner of his eye, Josh saw August standing. He quickly stood to his feet and wrapped his arms around her.

A sense of relief as they finally embraced.

Holding each other for the first time in what felt like forever.

They could've stayed their hours, just trying to remember the moments that led up to where they were now.

But for now, they would express themselves in the best ways they could.

And they could only hope if another situation like this arose they could speak to each, like they always found themselves doing, no matter the circumstances.

- lucy has something to say !!

god this was long it was like writing a love club chapter

anyway i'm sorry by joshua bassett might be my favorite song by him i'm not sorry 🤭

bye :))))