Michael holds my face in his hands. His face gets closer to mine as we kiss. I feel bubbly inside. He stops and yells: "BEEEP BEEEP BEEP BEEP." 

I jolt awake upright. I stop my alarm clock and I sigh. Just a dream. Honestly I have been having these kind of dreams for a while now. And its always the same. He walks with me on a moutain either laughing, crying, smiling, etc... and when we reached the top of the moutain he would kiss me. I always wake up after that. I don't see Michael next to me which is dissapointing because my dad made him sleep in the guest room. I mean hey, it's nice to have some room to spread myself but It feels so lonely.

I throw my feet across the bed and I yawn. I take my toothbrush out my draw and I walk to the bathroom. I'm wearing red pajama pants and a white tank top. I pull my black hair into a ponytail and I walk downstairs. I see Michael sitting on a table chair staring out the window. I clear my throat but he doesn't turn around. I clear my throat again. Still nothing. Finally on the third time he turns around.

"Might wanna get that throat checked out." He said.

I scoff and I walk to the cabinet. I take out a box of cereal and some milk. I pour the milk into my bowl and then I pour the cereal. I sit and I munch on my cereal. It was silent the whole time. I felt his eyes on me. I hated it. I stared down at my cereal the whole time. 

"You eat a lot." Michael says.

I stare up at him. He turns away from my glance. I'm tired of this awkwardness. This has been happening for days now ever since we kissed. We say little words to eachother and it's always awkward. I couldn't take it anymore. I threw my cereal bowl in the sink and I walked up to Michael.

"Look. We kissed okay. Now I hate how awkward this is getting!" I say staring at him.

He looks up at me but doesn't say anything.

I sigh.

"Do you either want to forget about the kiss and go on as if it never happened or remember it and keep letting it be awkward?" I ask.

"That's the thing. I don't know. I feel so confused." He says.

"Do you want to kiss me again?" I ask.

"I-I." He tries to say.

"You hesitated." I say.

"I just need some time." He said.

Then I realize. He probably doesn't understand what he is feeling right now. He is confused because things are fighting in him right now. I should probably give him some space.

I start walking away. But he grabs my arm.

"I liked things the way they were before. And if remembering the kiss is gonna stop those fun times I would rather forget it." He said.

"But it's so hard forgetting it." He says quietly.

I turn around to face him.

"Then fake it until you make it." I say.

"What does that mean?" He askes.

"Like just act like it never happened and soon it will just go away." I say.

"It hurts when I think of forgetting it." He says.

"It hurts for me too. But if we are gonna do this. You have to get used to it." I say.

"Okay." He says.

And he lets go of my arm. I walk upstairs and I lay on my bed. 

I have no one to talk to. Then I take out a dusty notebook from my desk. I haven't used this since I was ten. I would write how I felt and I would leave it on my mother's desk and the next day she would always reply with advice or nice warm words. That was when she was alive. I opened the book and I looked at my first entry. I was 6 at the time and as you can guess my spelling sucked.

'Alex is so men(Mean)! I hat(hate) her I hat(hate) her I hat(hate) her! She wus(was) my BFF. But then she buly (Bullied) me twoday (today).'

Then I looked at my mom's handwriting. I pressed my fingers on her words.

'Nina, please don't hate Alex. She doesn't understand what she is doing is hurtful. Forgive her instead. And try your best to ignore her. As long as I love you, you wont ever get hurt by her words.'

I smiled at her kind words. a tear fell from my eyes and smudged the ink of her words.

"Dang it." I say trying to dry it.

My door opens and I see my dad.

"Hi daddy." I say.

He saw the notebook and smiled.

"What are you up to?" He askes.

"I'm just looking at some old memories." I say smiling.

He sits on my bed with me looking at the notebook.

 "I remember she used to stay up all night trying to answer them." He said holding my hand.

 "Yeah. Everytime I read her words I would feel 100 times better." I say staring at my dad.

"Can I see some of them?" He asked.

"Dad. These are private. Between me and mom." I say.

"I see." He says.

 He kisses my cheek and hugged me tight.

"I love you Nina." He says.

"I love you too daddy." I say.

And he gets up and walks out the room. I feel a tear roll down my cheek. I try wiping it away but more pours out. I fall on my pillow sobbing. I feel a whisper in the wind.

"You are not alone. I am here with you." 

I pick my head up and I see Michael sitting right beside me.

"Though we're far apart you're always in my heart."

"Michael. Is that you singing?" I ask.

"No. Your mother is." He says.

"She is here? You can see her?" I ask.

"No I hear her in the wind. She is always whispering. You just can't hear her because human minds are too iggnorant." He says.

"Thank you." I say.

I grab Michael into a hug and he hugs me back. I liked being in his arms. His strong gentle arms there to portect me. 

_______________________

That night I dreamt of the mountain. But when I was ready to climb it, Michael hugged me instead and I hugged him back. But he slowly died in my arms. Turning into liquid. I grasped at the ground trying to pick up what was left of him but his liquid sucked into the ground and I was all alone in the cold wind.

I woke up in the middle of the night sweating, shivering, and crying. 

"Michael?!" I called.

He slowly came into the room. We hugged eachother.

"You had a nightmare again?" I asked.

"Yes. You?" He asked.

"Yeah. Me too." I said.