TRIGGER WARNING - IMPLIED ABUSE AND SEXUAL ASSAULT

Trains are underrated.

Nowhere else have I ever felt as I do on a train. Watching the fields hurtle past you, not quite knowing your destination... it's terrifying. I love it.

I have hardly anything with me. A suitcase of clothes and spare hair dye, a phone with every encapsulated memory deleted, and a wallet with enough money to buy some food and maybe water, if I stretch it.

Of course, I do know my destination. When my mother told me she wanted to forget I ever happened, she said she had a place somewhere 'special'. I can only assume what that means.

I close my eyes. God, Mrs Caddel will be worrying herself sick. I wish I knew how to write to her.

I feel tears prickle in my eyes.
God, Bee. Don't cry here.

Trains are underrated. If you want to cry nobody will question it.

A train station comes into view, the heavens have opened, and rain is hurtling towards the earth like a thousand shooting stars.

You bought a star in the sky tonight
Because your life is dark, and it needs some light...

The song lyrics bounce in my head, I hum it softly as the train pulls up.

February 1st.

I make a mental note of the date.

Another thing that's underrated, February.

The depression of January is over but you don't feel like time is flying by like you do in March, when any old lady you'll stop in the street will greet you with a "Goodness! It's March already!"

I mean, I suppose January is like the hangover of the year. December is such a happy time; Christmas if you celebrate it and everyone running around and being friendly, and nobody ever complained about building a snowman, drunk on joy. January is depressing and gloomy and generally bad on the mindset.

The train pulls up. I grab my bags and hop off, walking through the platform, checking my phone constantly.

Soon.