Sorry there was only one update besides this one for the week as I focused on my other Brock book, hopefully I'll update more next week: )

Hope you enjoy this one though xx

"Maybe I love too much.
And maybe I show it too little. "

✘✘✘

BROCK POV

2013

"You need to stop watching her Brock" I heard that annoying voice and turned away from the screen as they won .

"Watching who?" I frowned as I could never stand him from the first time we were put in OVW together.

"My girlfriend, I ain't blind I see you eyeing her around here. You might get higher paychecks than me , company jets and all that because you went out and got famous in the fighting world but just remember it ain't that much higher, everyone knows John Cena only a few knows Brock in this story? I won the ex UFC champ last year and I get the girl" I chuckled at his bragging, she had been at Extreme Rules watching him I had destroyed him but in the end I was conquered due to a blow to my face by the stupid chain he used to wear like a Vanilla Ice fucking wanna be.

"Is that so? " In the weeks before she left I had tried going up to her quite a few times and each time he would push past me or somehow be there so that I could never get her alone.

I hadn't given it much thought until I returned in January. They had been together until her sister dragged her away as I came from the gorilla.

I hadn't meant for my eyes to settle on her but he noticed then and said something about being too late . I ignored him as I had been with Paul.

"Well I have been dating Nikki for the past few months. Ladies like a gentleman not some roughneck" he laughed as he shook his head.

I laughed as well but not because I found him amusing at all, he was pissing me off I hadn't even known why I stopped to watch this fucking match. I just heard her voice as she called her sister for a tag, yeah they were twins but Nicole's voice was different.

"luckily for me I ain't interested in any ladies around here they're all skanks" I shrugged not wanting to show any jealousy not that there was, it had been more than a year and by my calculations he had most likely been dating her when her birthday came around . He smirked and I wasn't sure...

"Well that's rude!" I closed my eyes and muttered as I heard the two girls in unison and turned to see Stephanie well Nicole with her sister in their red wrestling gear.

"Well its fucking true" I shrugged, not bothering to look at them and walked off.

****

I watched her as she slipped on her leggings and tank top before grabbing my death clutch hoody and slipping it on causing me to smirk.

I shook away the past as I should have been happy that I hadn't gotten a chance with her then. I wouldn't have been what she needed then as I was too childish then, concerned about getting the money..

"What? Its chilly out there" she fought a smile before sinking down into my lap so that her face could be with mine.

"You are beautiful Nicole" I admitted as I glanced over her face. If people knew that it had been years in the making, me wanting to be right on this spot with her they'd deem me weak , romantic.. that's why no one would ever know.

Its not like I spent all the years waiting I had given up, ignoring occasions where John would use her as a way to get to me.

"Wow the first compliment I get is when I am wearing your clothes, I knew you had an ego but with me?" She rolled her eyes which caused me to narrow my eyes at her but she laughed and kissed me.

I gripped her thighs and squeezed them wanting her so fucking much but that wasn't why I had snapped yesterday.

I hadn't meant to snap at Nicole, its just I was angry, angry at what she told her mom when I had come home and seen them out on the back patio.

"Does he want to get remarried, have kids?"

"He is divorced with two kids, I honestly doubt I would want to marry him or have kids with him.."

I came up to the room soon after, not wanting to stick around to hear the rest. That's the reason John fucking Cena still haunted us, she wanted it all with him but not with me.

And then JJ added to it all, he had been quiet when I came down the staircase and went out into the yard, I thought she would have been pissed at me maybe she was but I guess my outburst after kissing her had scared her.

I didn't punch JJ because I believed what he was saying, even though it was bad timing due to my doubts with what she said to her mother, but mostly it was him speaking about her throwing love around and insinuating she made up being depressed over Nick, I couldn't tell her that though because then she would know.

But after that night and seeing how she looked when rambling on about a boyfriend who didn't care about even spending her birthday with her I could tell she was in pain, so him going there was the last straw.

Some things still whirled around in my head besides her answer to her mom, was I simply keeping her stuck in my house?

I knew I wanted her here with all of them so she wouldn't feel the need to go anywhere but was I trying to prevent her from getting visits from other people who might care?

Potential people who were different who she could be with after me?

She had always seen John as the sweet guy and me as the rude Beast, and that wouldn't change.

He could have pitched up at her mom's house with her favourite shit that I didn't fucking know what was , not that she was materialistic but he could have and I would be all the way here like a fucking idiot.

Her biting my lip broke my thoughts before she kissed me again while I left the room with her in my arms and she broke the kiss.

"I don't want to go downstairs" she whispered.

"you know you're only torturing yourself by wanting to feel the Beast but not feeling it buried inside you" I whispered as well even though everyone had gone out for the day.

"I don't need to feel the Beast to be tortured" she laughed before hopping off and walking to the couch but I gripped her hand.

"What?" She frowned.

"You're not being stuck in here this afternoon Barbie" I smirked and she seemed confused but followed anyway.

***

"I'm sorry about snapping on you yesterday Nicole" I whispered as she held my hand while we walked while I knew our destination she didn't as she never had the chance to explore .

Over this month was the longest she had been at my house but  couldn't do much anyway.

"Its okay Brock, I get it. Everything is frustrating because of my injury. We can't have each other because I have to be careful, we can't be as affectionate well I can't be, you're hardly PDA" I chuckled even though I could be, with all our previous flirting which had gone around this house.. me seducing her, my PDA always led to fucking so its good I didn't do it much.

"And you don't have as much privacy and time to yourself as you would like. You aren't as cocky as usual or testing me as we normally used to do because you're concerned. You're up early so that you can be awake for me so you're tired as well, its my injury Brock. You shouldn't be doing all this to please me while it might make me happy its eating on you. I love you because you are a Beast who hates people so if you feel at any point its enough I can politely ask them to leave and I'll stay at my mom's until this comes off."

I frowned as her brother's words played in my mind.

"I don't want you to leave Nicole.I ain't as cocky because I want you to test me as well , it ain't us if you aren't standing up to me. I'm a grown fucking man and Brock Lesnar on top of that if I didn't want to wake up early and take care of my girlfriend I wouldn't. But I do because.."

"Because?" She smiled even though she knew why I had stopped myself ..

I simply stared ahead but felt her kick my leg and as I narrowed my eyes at her she smiled.

"Because I love you" I grumbled and glanced away.

"You know you don't have to say it like you hate it Brocky.. You used to love confessing it when you thought you would lose me" I tensed briefly but her hand tightened around mine reassuring me I guess as I felt her free hand holding my upper arm and tracing over the tattoo on it.

"Now I can't get rid of you, that brace has made you want the Beast even more ,throwing yourself at me" I held back a smile.

She hit my shoulder causing me to laugh, "Fuck you Beast, who snapped at me yesterday when he couldn't get into my pants?"

She laughed as I lift her into my arms and continued walking, not afraid I would let her fall as I couldn't exactly see where I was walking but I knew my property so well...

"You love me Beast and you should just accept that you can't stop . You're my Brock and my Beast so you shouldn't be holding back with me."

She said seriously .

"You know I'm not like that Nicole" I stopped walking, stopping myself from saying something stupid .I wasn't John Cena who probably argued over their love for each other at the times they were happy.

"I know I'm sorry" she mumbled as she glanced past me.

"I'm not going to change. I'm not going to be the guy that does all that fancy dinner and gifts shit."
I added as I frowned.

"I didn't mean anything by it Brock I was just messing around and I like that you don't say it easily. It let's me know how much meaning is behind it when you decide to, I'm just afraid that because I say it so easily to you that you might not believe it"

"I don't sometimes but its not because you say it often baby" I set her down and walked ahead.

I sighed, "Because I still can't see how you could love a man like me after being with Mr Perfect"

"But he wasn't , I love you because I love you. You're the perfect and only Beast for me.I'm not going to say anything else, you just need to know that . It might be because of The Beast I don't know.." I smiled at her words  .

"Once that thing comes off I will be giving you The Beast''

"I'll still have to take it easy without it you know?" I sighed.

"Depends on the position"  I answered and she simply smiled as we continued our walk.

I smirked as we moved closer to the lake and heard her gasp.

"Brock what is..." She took in the picnic blanket and basket.

"We haven't gone on a date yet Barbie" I shrugged .

"And I'm dressed like this? Brock no!" I chuckled as she frowned.

"Why would you want to dress up if I haven't seen you with make-up since extreme rules or anything other than sweats"

"Is that your way of complaining?"

"No baby, I like this Nicole. At home Nicole, this is my girlfriend . The make-up and dresses shit is Nikki, yeah you might like it but this is you... You don't care and you shouldn't when being around me" I lift her up so that I could kiss her.

"You're quite heavy" I heard her as I laid back between her legs looking out ahead at the lake as my head used her chest as cushioning.

"Nice try I ain't putting much weight on you Barbie"

"I hope I'm not Barbie forever I don't like that name and I thought you only called me it because you saw John as Ken and I was plastic" She whispered as her hands moved back and forth over my chest.

I smiled knowing she couldn't see me, "in the beginning but you're my Barbie now. The Beast needs a Beauty but I ain't going around calling you Beauty so think of Barbie as that not as a name those fuckers backstage gave you"

She was quiet for a bit but I then felt her push on my back and I frowned and turned back.

She leaned forward and kissed me hard causing me to chuckle as I wasn't sure why she did it but I never said no to those lips.

I moved her back so that she laid back onto the blanket as I pushed my pelvis against her so she could feel me and she moaned into my mouth .

I wasn't doing it to torture her or myself even though it was, it was to let her know what she did to me without even trying.

She wrapped her legs around me causing me to groan as I broke the kiss and stared down at her.

"That's how the Beast shows he loves you and with how I am going to fuck you once you are better you will be reminded with each movement just how much I do"

NIKKI POV

"Where'd Brock go?" I heard Bryan as I entered the backyard  after having said goodbye to Brock.

Which was basically kissing him as I sat on the back of his truck while he stood between my legs. I still couldn't believe he had surprised me with lunch at the lake. I knew there was one as he had mentioned it but I forgot and while I had gotten used to him being sweet lately that was just not beastly at all and romantic.

He was a farm boy yes but my farm boy who could be a Beast, a boyfriend with a Beast that pleased me, a man who loved me and cared for me and showed appreciation for me in his own beastly way.

"His going to drop by his parents house" I shrugged.

"And you didn't go with?" He frowned a bit as he finished up, they had come back while Brock and I were at the lake  .

"Its not like that, I don't really want them meeting me like this" I gestured to how I looked even though I didn't mind it as much as Brock's words had made me smile.

"I think they should. I mean you all dressed up and heels to meet his parents doesn't sound like a good idea?" I rolled my eyes as we walked into the house .

JJ and Lola were in their room while my mom and J had been out the entire day so much for all of them being here for me but I was happy they were exploring as they could all get a bit much.

Bryan used to be the annoying one believe it or not but this past year he was the only one I could tolerate and J.

"I don't plan on going in heels and all that, but leggings and their son's hoody? No make-up at all? I at least have to try and look like I care.. Maybe heels, its not like I have any other shoes.."

"I'm honestly surprised you haven't complained about it before ." He confessed .

"About what?" I asked as we sat on the couch.

"Not being glammed up and stuff?"

"Because I don't know, all the other times before here I would just walk in and feel like I could just let go. I didn't care how I looked.. what I wore it was just... Freeing. I love that feeling and I love that there isn't a need for it because he doesn't see me differently. Even when Rena came over I looked like this and he didn't care. I don't want to compare it but with John I always felt like I needed to be on my best all the time in case someone came over"

"You know if you do you should really come with me to get some spiritual.."

"No no no .. I said I love this feeling of being in my man's house , his farm lifestyle not hippy vibes" I couldn't help raising my voice and he burst out laughing and I realized he had done it on purpose to mess with me.

"Have you spoken to JJ about what went down on Sunday?" He said after the laughter died down.

"No I have been avoiding it, its not like he can leave without Brock's jet so he is stuck here whether he likes it or not. He should be happy Brock cares so much about me or he would be out of here and why did you seem so amused by it all?"

I finally asked as even though things have been slightly awkward no one has brought it up.

I had been in the room with Brock for most of the week I guess that was why he had let us explore for the afternoon. We hadn't even done much just gone through old photo albums he kept of his kids I loved listening to him telling stories about them and the way his blue eyes lit up . It was funny how everything would be 'shit' when he didn't know what some toy was called.

Its weird how the Beast could be such an incredible loving father I would have never guessed.

"Because it was funny. We both know JJ and John were close and he hates that you broke up and Brock wasn't phased by any of it until he mentioned your feelings "

"Don't start with the, I'm surprised the Beast cares crap" I fought a smile but he shook his head.

"I knew he cared the moment he showed up in that gym before you began dating"

I smiled, "I'm sorry for ruining your birthday with your mom. Well actually forcing your wife to have to appear at Extreme Rules with me instead of flying down with you, to your mom"

"Nikki you are my sister and you were hurt . You didn't ruin it I spent time with my mom and flew out with Dean them on Monday" he shrugged.

"Do you think what JJ said is true?" I asked.

"I'm surprised you're asking that are you doubting this relationship?" He raised his eyebrow as he focused on me.

"No, I love him more than anything Bryan, its just with my mom and J and JJ saying things my mind has been all over" I shook my head.

"You have been with Brock for how long?"

"Six months "

"And in these six months how many times have you thought about simply leaving him ?"

"Well.." I had literally left him and walked away a couple of times.

"The thing is JJ was wrong. With Nick well I wasn't really around much for Nick but from what I have heard from your sister and Nick himself in the first almost year everything was sunshine and roses with John I know you were head over heels because you found someone an escape from Nick's claws. And because it was an escape you were happy yet again for several months.."

"So Brock is an escape from John? Then JJ is.."

"Can you just wait?" I sighed and sat back.

"One would think because of that he is and yes you see this as an escape but his not. You guys have had more arguments than anyone. He challenges you , you challenge him well not now but I have heard enough from Brie.." I rolled my eyes as of course.

" Don't give me that look you know she complains to me but I notice things she doesn't. He is an escape but for you to be Nicole not some version of yourself that you were when dealing with Nick or keeping up with John's lifestyle."

"So I'm doing the right thing? Being with a Beast?"

"Your sister is with a Goat, so I think you're doing fine" I laughed and hugged him before we headed to the kitchen for some dinner .

A/N:

FLASHBACK + SURPRISE + BRYAN

HOPE YOU ENJOYED XX