BACK in Alexandria, Tara, and the rest of us returned home. I was beyond happy to be back and with my own people again. I was ready to see Carl again, who I feel like I haven't seen in forever.

Scott, Tara, and I jumped out of the truck and made our way over to Michonne and Carl. When Carl saw me, he smiled, and I did back. "Hey, kiddo," I said and widened my arms out. He walked up to me, and we hugged it out.

Tara handed Carl a letter while Scott handed Michonne one. It's the plan and it is working. Although Paul somehow convinced Maggie to bring those Saviors inside the walls of Hilltop and keep them in a makeshift gated area, we could still win this. Carol said in her letter to us that everyone was killed during the attack on the Savior outpost, except for herself, Ezekiel, and Jerry.

Rick says that our plan is working, like I said, and Walkers surround the Sanctuary and our snipers are standing guard to make sure no one escapes. Sasha was first, Rick wrote in his letter, and now there's been more. The sacrifices are real. We need to make it right... for them.

Rick explained in his letter that he's on his way to execute the next stage of the plan and will meet us at the Sanctuary in two days to end this. He thinks that we're actually going to win after all this.

As always, I am hopeful that Rick Grimes is right.

—

I was sitting on the front stairs of Tara's porch when I noticed Michonne getting a move on towards one of the cars. She tossed her katana inside and jumped in herself, and that's when I saw Rosita approach the car and, eventually, jump in with her. Where the hell were they going?

Daryl was standing next to me, so I asked him, "Hey, where are they going? Rick said to stay put."

He hummed and murmured, "Don't know."

Well, then, I thought to myself as I heard Tara's door open and close. I peered over my shoulder and saw Tara coming out of her place. Daryl was obviously here for her.

"Hey," she said to Daryl and nodded to me. "You just get back?"

He lifted himself off the post and said to her, "Yeah, I was looking for you and Tess."

"I was looking for you guys, too," she confessed, and this is when I slowly stood up and came between them in question. "I wanted to tell you, Daryl, that you were right when you didn't kill Dwight. We wouldn't have gotten this far without him."

"Damn straight," I muttered under my breath in agreement.

"The thing is," Tara continued with a sigh, "I know what you said. But after this, I'm gonna kill him. I want it to be me."

"Um..."

"Maybe it could be you and me both," Daryl added, cutting me off completely. "And, maybe, we don't have to wait so long."

Of course, they didn't know how I felt about Dwight, like this was a normal conversation between friends. They didn't know that I liked Dwight, that he was someone that I would consider more than a friend.

Could I continue to keep my mouth shut about myself and Dwight?

"Guys," came my warning tone, placing my hands on their shoulders. They looked down at me in the middle there. "No. He's helping us. He doesn't deserve to die after it's all said and done."

"Tess, he—"

"You weren't out there," Daryl muttered, shaking his head after he interrupted Tara. "You didn't go with us when that prick and his friends showed up and shot Denise with an arrow. He's gonna die. Just deal with it."

"Wait, Daryl—" I cut myself off when he turned his back on me and walked away. I turned over to Tara and tried to testify, "Dwight isn't any harm to us now. I know what he did to Denise. Hell, I was there when he practically handed both Abraham and Glenn over to Negan on a silver platter. I was there when he helped kidnap myself and Daryl. He doesn't have to die when he's just trying to make things right."

She shook her head, rolled her eyes, and began to walk away. She waved what I said away, and, with her back to me, she spat out, "Whatever, Tess. I'm not hearing it right now."

"There's a guy that I met during my time at the Sanctuary," I called to her, and she suddenly stopped but kept her back to me. "His name is Alden, and he is one of the prisoners being held at the Hilltop right now. Do you remember him? The guy who saved my life?"

"Tess, please don't..."

"He told me that he was on the verge of death before Negan and the Saviors took him in. He helped me escape the Sanctuary without being caught," I immediately cut her off and continued my story. "They have to die, the bad ones — like Jared. Not the good ones like Dwight and Alden. They did what they had to do to stay there and have shelter. It was either they kill to stay alive or go out there and die by themselves. Or, even, be personally killed by Negan. No life is perfect. Not anymore, T."

With that said, I stormed off the porch and even bumped shoulders with her when I did. She didn't try to stop me or hold me back to say her piece. I was glad that she didn't because, when I finally got out in the open, I saw from the corner of my left eye of Carl trying to sneak out. Literally.

"Carl?" I called out his name, and when he didn't hear me, I began to sprint towards him. "Carl! Hey, wait up!"

He suddenly stopped, appearing nervous, and looked around. "Hey... Hey, Tess," he stammered out and waved awkwardly. "How's it going? What's up? Do you need me for something?"

"Hey," I breathed after I caught my breath and placed my hands on my hips. "Where you going, kiddo?"

"Nowhere," he lied and gulped afterward. "Just... going to check the walls out, make sure that they're good enough to stand against Negan."

Although that was a good cover-up, I could see right through him, and so, I shook my head and asked, "Why are you lying to me, Carl?"

He shook his head and peered up on me. "Just don't... Don't tell anyone," he said, and I nodded, listening closely. "There's just something that I have to go do, y'know?"

"Well, let me go with you and, then, I can help—"

"No, Tess," he cut me off rather quickly and sighed. "This is something that I have to do. By myself. Okay?"

I tried to read his facial expression and look into his eye so that it could tell me all that I needed to know. I didn't want to let him go off by himself, but Carl had been through worse, and I never stopped him before. Nobody did, so maybe it would be okay that he would go off by himself... Again.

Alas, I just gently nodded and sighed, throwing my head back for a moment, too. "Okay, Carl," I reassured, even though it didn't feel right in the pit of my stomach. "I won't tell anyone, but you better be back before dark, or I'll go out there looking for you. I won't hesitate."

He smirked, nodded, and sarcastically agreed, "Yes, ma'am."

"Alright," I smirked and playfully shoved him forward. I touched his shoulders and added, "Be safe."

"Always."

Just as he had turned his back on me and walked away, I couldn't let the feeling go, so I called, "Hey, uh... Wait." He stopped, and I practically ran to him, throwing my arms around him, and he wrapped his around me, too. "I actually really love you, kiddo. Please don't get hurt out there."

"You love me?" Carl questioned, and we slowly separated. He looked at me with his eyebrows up, thinking that it was more humorous than serious. "Since when?"

"Since...," my voice trailed off as I tried to remember. I placed my right hand on his shoulder and smirked. "Since I first met you, I think. I think that I have loved all of you guys since then. You took me in, really no questions asked, and you guys are my family now. I haven't really told anyone else this. You're like my annoying and mature little brother that I never had, and it's because Paul was born three minutes before me."

Carl dryly chuckled and admitted, "I get it, and you're like my annoying and strange big sister... who I love to death, too."

With that said, I nodded and sniffled. "Okay, kiddo," I sighed out, feeling emotional over his confession. "Get outta here; but, hey, be safe. I'll see you later."

With a peace sign, he grinned and responded, "Later, Tess."

After his back turned on me and walked away, I sniffled before breathing through my nose and out through my mouth.

—

Somehow, when I saw that Daryl and Tara were trying to leave behind at Alexandria, I refused to be left behind, so I went with them.

We practically walked right up to the front doors of Negan's Sanctuary. Daryl and Tara were out for revenge, but I only came to ensure that they weren't here to kill Dwight before they wanted to.

We were following Michonne and Rosita's footsteps to help them in any way that we could. We were almost there with my head and body bouncing around between Daryl, who was driving, and Tara that was beside me on my right. For the most part, we had driven in silence. Those two are mad at me than I am at them. It had become a weird angle between us three. They're my closest friends, but it seems that i am not theirs anymore. This feeling was somewhat mutual, I suppose.

Daryl was smoking a cigarette with the window cracked so that the wind wouldn't sweep the cigarette up. I didn't mind the smell, especially because I used to smoke on occasion. I don't think that Tara did, either.

I faintly started to hear something in the distance, almost like loud and disturbing music. "Hey, what's that sound? Do you hear that?" I asked them as I leaned up to the speakers in the truck, thinking that it could possibly be this. It wasn't, though.

Daryl held his right hand up before placing it back on the steering wheel and used his other hand to put the rest of the window down. He tossed the rest of his cigarette out and listened out for the noise.

In one swift motion, I heard Daryl say, "Hold on," and, then, he sped up until BAM! I was holding onto Tara's hand as she squeezed back. We held our breaths, and when it was all over, we took a collective deep breath.

What Daryl did was ram our truck into the opera-singing truck that was getting away while speeding away. He had slammed this garbage truck right into the side of the Savior's truck, obliterating it. To our left, there stood Michonne and Rosita, in total disbelief.

Daryl decided to park there and, so, we all hopped out, myself after Tara, while he shot the driver of the truck and she and I held our guns up, ready to shoot, just in case. We didn't care for the noise, and Daryl didn't, most of all, with his machine gun.

Michonne and Rosita walked up to us as we reunited with them. They were out of breath and panting from what they just endured, whatever it may be. As soon as Daryl saw them, he came around the Savior's truck and said to them, "Truck full of speakers, huh? That was a Savior."

"Yeah, it was," Michonne replied, now standing in front of us. "They were scavenging when you guys attacked the Sanctuary. They saw all the Walkers around it. It's a cache. They were gonna try and drive the Walkers away. That's why they were out here."

I wanted to ask some questions, but before I could, Tara looked between Rosita and Michonne and breathed out, "Why are you guys out here?"

Nobody spoke, like it was this eerie silence, and it was forbidden to speak about it. Alas, Michonne looked straight at Daryl and confessed, "I need to see the Sanctuary."

Rosita slowly nodded and agreed, "We both do." She, then, glanced up and looked from Tara to myself and to Daryl. "Why are you out here?"

It only took half of a second for Daryl to look over at myself and Tara before replying to Rosita, "We got a lot more work to do. All of us."

I knew that Daryl's intentions were all in good faith with revenge in his mind. However, his rapid decisions are what get people killed, unfortunately.

Just like when Glenn, Michonne, Rosita, and myself ran after him into the woods when he ran off to kill the rest of the Saviors by himself for what they did to Denise. He led us right into a trap, which ended up getting both Abraham and Glenn killed in the end.

This time, he was leading us right into another one of Negan's traps. We may have the upper-hand now, but Negan always wins in the end. This is what Daryl can't understand and realize. Hell, it is what Tara doesn't see, either, not since all of our friends died right in front of our eyes.

Nevertheless, I followed them into the garbage truck and right into another trap...

We all managed to pile up in the garbage truck, arm to arm. However, since I am one of the lightest, Tara had yanked me to sit on her lap, like I was a child without a proper car seat. I insisted that either Rosita or Michonne were the lightest, but Tara didn't seem to care.

We rolled up to where the Sanctuary was or, at least, close to. We got just close enough to it for Michonne and Rosita to see what was left of the Sanctuary. Daryl took out a rifle's scope and held it up to his right eye to glance through it before handing it over to Michonne, in which he said, "Here you go. You wanted to see it."

He nodded and slowly handed Tara the scope after getting her a peek-in. Rosita didn't get to see, though, but she did manage to ask, "So, what do you need us for?"

What Daryl said next nearly sent me out of the garbage truck and walked directly by home by myself when he declared, "To end this thing. Right now."

—

"ARE you completely nuts, Daryl?!" I exclaimed, wide-eyed. My heart was bumping and racing, just like it did the night before Glenn died, and we were caught by the Saviors, later being dragged to his death.

You're leading us to another trap, is what I wanted to say, but it would only piss him off more, and I didn't want to do that just yet.

He had already parked, and we were hanging out by the garbage truck after he moved us from where we once were to where we are now. He used the rifle's scope to look straight down to where the Sanctuary stood, thinking of a potential plan for us. However, I didn't want to be a part of it.

"Our people are gonna be at the Sanctuary soon, asking for their surrender," Rosita began to say as I turned to glare at her.

"We're almost there," Tara added, and I just shook my head, wanting to voice my opinion before it's too late and I get caught in the crossfire. Again.

"That's why we do it," Daryl claimed, taking the scope from his eye and turning towards us. "We make it happen."

"So, we cover you with crossfire from the upper windows, you crash the truck into the Walkers and through to the building?" Michonne asked, just be sure that this rogue-plan was fit for us.

"Yup, crack it open. Savior buffet," Tara added, no emotion behind what she just said whatsoever. This wasn't the Tara that I knew. I didn't like this cold-hearted Tara.

"You know the workers will make it away, up the stairs?" Rosita asked, glancing up at Daryl and myself. It was because we knew the place the best while we were taken hostage there.

"They're on the other side of the building," Daryl claimed, nodding. "They should make it."

"You sure?" Rosita asked again, just to be sure. Hell, not even I knew what was best or right at this point. I didn't have all the answers anymore.

"After we do this, their only choice is to give up," Daryl snapped back, confident in his revengeful and rogue plan.

"We don't have to do this," I finally spoke up, and they looked straight at me, now voicing my opinion. Daryl's eyes were the hardest on me, and I was almost terrified to glare right back at him. "Look, we don't, okay? They are trapped behind those walls, and that is the only reason why they aren't dead yet because the Walkers can't take the walls down. Even if they do manage to escape, they'll run or die. They'll be scattered and not be able to return here. Plus, there are innocent people in there — those workers."

Daryl stepped one step towards me, now standing directly in front and towering over me. "What is with you now?" he growled, stirring in his place. "Not that long ago, you wanted them all dead. Huh? What happened to that?"

"I still do, but—"

"Nah, you don't," Daryl cut me off before I could explain myself. "Just as long as your buddy, Dwight, gets out, that's all that matters to you."

"Buddy?" Tara squeaked out in question, but I didn't have much time to waste in explaining myself to her, too.

I kept facing Daryl and spat back, "He's not my friend, Daryl. He is just a guy that I know – who we all know. What he's doing isn't for nothing. He has been risking his own life for us to make sure that we always have the upper hand over Negan. If Negan knew what D was doing, he would be dead right now. But, either way, it seems to me that you two don't care what happens to him now or later. I'm not gonna stand here and let you kill him."

"What?!" Tara exclaimed, now jumping right in my face. "He killed Denise, Tess! Shot an arrow right through her eye, like it was nothing! He helped lead y'all right to Negan, just so he could kill Abraham and Glenn! He killed Spencer and Olivia. He took Sasha, who is dead. He's taken Gabriel hostage now, too, and Eugene. You can't tell me that Dwight doesn't deserve to die."

I kept quiet, placing my arms underneath my chest, and looked away. I heard Tara breathe out and say, "Wow. I can't believe you. You're actually taking Dwight's side over ours."

"I ain't doing anything yet!" I screamed back, not even caring whatsoever if we're found and killed. "If you four want to run in there and kill the only inside-man that we have, then you go right ahead! Go right in there and kill Dwight, like this is our glorified careers now! Let's somehow prove that we're better than them Saviors because I can tell you right now that we aren't! We ain't no better than Negan! Have some humanity, for God's sake, 'cause there ain't much left of it now!"

Everyone fell quiet, probably because they were in disbelief. Rosita didn't seem to completely disagree, either, while Michonne seemed to be on the fence about the whole thing. Daryl and Tara were completely and utterly pissed and disappointed in me.

"Maybe I do see things like my brother does, after all," I continued, more calmer and quieter now. "I do see that some of these people can try again after Negan is finally defeated. I'm not gonna lie to you when I say, if I was out on my own and Negan had offered me safe-haven in a time like this, I would've taken it, too. Especially if I was on the verge of dying of dehydration, hunger, or even exposure. I would've let him take me in, too, so..."

I took a deep breath, shook my head, and looked back up and stated, "That's why I'm leaving y'all to it. If y'all wanna run in there and kill everyone, then do it. That ain't gonna bring Denise back. It definitely ain't gonna bring Glenn and Abraham back. It's not gonna bring Sasha, Spencer, or Olivia back. It's just gonna make us look like monsters that slaughter the sleep when they're sleeping at night, just like we did at their outpost. I think that it's time to just..."

Again, I paused and took a deep breath before continuing, "I just wanna go home. I really feel like, since I've been back, I haven't been able to do much at all. I just want to go to sleep for a little while. Call me lazy or weak, I don't care. I just wanna go home and wait on Rick's final call."

With that said, I first glanced at Rosita, Michonne, Tara, and, then, a fuming Daryl. I just didn't care anymore. Whatsoever. I wanted to go home and take a breather for a while before we set out for war in a few days.

I finally turned my back on them and began to walk away, not caring about the stares that were burning holes into my back or when I heard Michonne call for me to come back. I wanted to walk away and start somewhere new one day if things don't change around here.

I never could see things just how Paul could, even before the turn. We were always different that way. He didn't seek revenge, but I did. However, as of right now, I began to see it his way again.

There is war, and then, there is peace, I could very easily hear Paul saying over again, like he had said to Morgan the other day. We're gonna have to live with these people after. We're gonna have to find a way to peace.