THE day was almost over. Almost.

I had just one last thing to do before bed and that was to talk to Tara. Since Ezekiel allowed us to stay for the night, I was already prepared by grabbing the rest of my things from my shared trailer with Paul. It was not much, but it was enough for the night.

As my fresh socks touched the old wooden floor, I found the peek of light from Tara's cracked door as I made my way towards it. My damp hair was soaking through the back of my shirt as I had just taken my first shower in God only knows how long. It felt so good, especially with the heat. Thank God for King Ezekiel and the Kingdom as a whole.

I peeked inside and knocked slightly, seeing her before she seen me. Prior to her looking up, I seen that she was hanging off the side of her bed and looking at her hands. I tend to do that from time to time, too. My reason for it is to see how much older and weaker that I have grown — and you can see it with your hands, sometimes.

When I knocked, she immediately looked up in question before she formed a pleased smile on her face after seeing that it was just me. "Hey."

"Hey," I said back and took a step in, revealing my left leg. "May I come in real quick?"

"Of course," she agreed and nodded, prior to readjusting her position on her bed to make enough room for me. Once I had sat down beside her, she asked, "It's been a long day for you, too, huh?"

I nodded and cracked a smile, trying to laugh it off. Yet, it was still so sad since I have not had enough rest and peace since escaping from the Sanctuary with Daryl. I have been on my feet and hiding from the inevitable.

"More than you'll ever know," I laughed, shaking my head. "I couldn't sleep last night, but that's usual. I haven't really slept since Glenn and Abe died, though."

"I'm sorry," she whispered, to my surprise. She extended her arm, where her fingers intertwined with mine, which was lying on my right knee.

"For what? You didn't do it to them. It was Negan," I reminded her, sighing afterwards.

Tara was looking down in doubt with disappointment written all over her face, then shook her own head as well. "Because," she gulped out, "you had to be there for it. I'm just sorry that you had to watch that happen to our friends."

I slowly nodded, understanding what she meant, and sighed once again. I have been doing that a lot lately.

"I wish that I could've saved them somehow," I finally said and found myself straightening up. "Which reminds me, Tara... I need to tell you something."

She looked up in concern and innocent confusion. "What is it, Tess?"

I did not know how to tell her what I needed to. My intention for coming in here in the first place was to tell her what I did not want to tell her. Yet, she needed to know.

I had to get this off of my chest, but I did not want to make it her problem, though, neither. I had to tell the truth: I was in love with Glenn Rhee. Maggie knew and this is why that she, too, has "banished" me from the Hilltop as well, along with Gregory. Even though I do not give two shits about him, I did still care about Maggie and her wishes.

Slowly looking up, I found myself staring in the concerned eyes of Tara's as I held my breath for a moment there. "Tara, it's about Glenn," I started to tell her and she held her breath, too. "I... I loved Glenn."

Somehow, she immediately nodded and laughed it off, "Everyone loved Glenn, Tess. It's no big deal. I mean, I loved him because he saved my life when I was with the enemy, and he was my best friend. Maggie loved him and—"

"No, Tara, you don't understand," I almost immediately cut her off and gripped her hand with mine, demanding that she stop and look at me. "I was in love with Glenn."

Now, she understood and she was stuck in time. Frozen, even. She could not believe the words that I have confessed to her. She blinked a couple of times and stared down at her shoes, so that she did not have to look at me.

I did not blame her. Though, she was taking it a whole lot better than Maggie did — and with understanding, too. I wanted to tell her more, but I was already fighting away the bad thoughts. I could not keep it together and with good reason, too.

"W-What? You were? I-I thought..."

"I loved him and I knew, deep down, that I shouldn't have," I continued to admit further and closed my eyes. "I didn't realize that I did until we were captured by Negan. It hurt to leave him behind while I went after Daryl. So, that's why I stopped and cried before we were all captured. I loved him, Tara, and I know that I shouldn't have, but I did."

"H-He was married... To Maggie, our friend. I... He had a baby on the way. How could you—"

"I'm sorry, okay? I have tried telling Maggie this time and time again, but she doesn't want to hear it," I finally added in, which by now had made Tara glare straight at me. She looked like she was going to actually hear me out. "When we got back, I visited their graves. Maggie left for a minute, so that I could have a moment alone with them. She came back a little too early, I suppose, and heard what I had said to Glenn. I was going to tell her properly... eventually, but it was too late by this point. She slapped me and said that she didn't want me at the Hilltop anymore."

"Tess, I—"

"So, that's why I'm not going back to the Hilltop with you guys," I finally strictly confessed. "It's not safe there. Not for me nor is it for Daryl, either, so I'm going to ask Ezekiel tomorrow if I could stay here for a while until things cool down. I'm not welcomed at the Hilltop anymore and I will respect Maggie's wishes for me to stay away."

After the long confession, I finally took a deep breath. It felt relieving to get this off of my chest. I did not want to keep any secrets from Tara and, now that she knows, she can do what she wants with me – either keep me as a friend and push me away.

"I just wanted you to know, Tara. Just in case that it comes up later, you'll already know," I whispered out, just as I stood up and tried to quickly regroup with myself. "I'll, uh... I'll just go now, anyways. I'll go and try to sleep."

I turned my back on her and went to leave, but not before I felt her hand loop with mine again — which held me from walking out of the room completely. I slightly looked over my shoulder, just as Tara stood up next to me. "How about you, uh... You stay in here tonight? With me? I'll stay up with you until you fall asleep."

I did not know what consumed me next, but I found myself nodding and agreeing to her offer. Tara led me back to the bed, where I crawled across until I was on the right side of it while she snuggled in beside me. I got underneath the covers while she decided to lay on top of them on her side.

As soon as I was comfortable enough, I still did not feel complete. I glanced over at Tara and, somehow, she knew what to do. She extended her arm to where it was underneath my head and neck. I nestled my head in the crook of her neck and draped my left hand over her stomach.

I began to close my eyes, but did not fall asleep until I whispered into Tara's ear, "Thank you."

I felt her smile back and said back, "It is no problem at all."

She turned off the light of the lamp next to the bed and we snuggled, as I found warm comfort within her. In a weird sense, this snuggling reminded me of Dwight – and the time that I spent with him at the Sanctuary.

The way that he would place his arm around me after we were done, sweating and heaving. Then, he would place a simple kiss on my forehead and, somehow in that very moment, I felt like everything was going to be okay.

Then, for the first time in weeks, I slept like a baby and the ghosts did not keep me up, neither.

—

THE very next morning, I had found myself all over Tara as she was holding onto me within her sleep. I was very close to her, which bothered me and did not all at once. Yet, I do not know why.

I was fully aware that Tara is lesbian, but I did not really care. She was my best friend now and, really, she is the only one that understands me.

We were now all standing outside and awaiting Ezekiel's answer for Rick – rather or not if he and the Kingdom will join us in our fight against Negan and the Saviors. It is an early morning, and the birds were out and chirping, and the people of the Kingdom were out and about.

I noticed the kids nearby who were being trained to shoot bow-and-arrows, which I have always wanted to know how to do. It took a quick mindset to conquer that skill, especially if it is your only weapon on-hand.

Richard led the way to King Ezekiel while Morgan actually walked with us. We stayed in tow with Richard and kept our mouths shut until arriving to the King.

As soon as we arrived, the King was watching the kids with their bow-and-arrows and said aloud, "This is life here. Every day. But, it came at a cost." With his staff in hand, he turned around towards us and even began to walk towards us, too. "And, I wanted more of this. I wanted to expand. To create more places like this." He glared at Rick and continued, "Men and women lost their limbs. Children lost their parents because I sent them into battle against the wasted when I did not need to."

With that said, Rick stepped forward and claimed, "This is different."

Ezekiel argued, "It isn't."

Rick immediately reacted by saying with a steady nod, "It is. The dead don't rule us. The world doesn't look like this outside your walls. People don't have it as good. Some people don't have it good at all." I wanted to speak up by agreeing with Rick, but I kept quiet and waited for it all to be over.

King Ezekiel countered, "I have to worry about my people."

To my surprise, Rick stepped away — not totally convinced — while Daryl said aloud from standing directly beside me, "You call yourself a damn king. You sure as hell don't act like one."

Ezekiel took notice of this and began to slowly make his way towards Daryl and myself. "All of this...," he paused and pointed out to some of the kids there, "came at a cost. It was lives – arms and legs." Ezekiel had gotten pretty close to being in Daryl's face before he moved along and regrouped back with Rick. "The peace we have with the Saviors is uneasy, but it is peace. I have to hold on to it. I have to try."

Now facing the rest of us, he said even louder for everyone to hear, "Although the Kingdom cannot grant you the aid you desire, the King is sympathetic to your plight. I offer our friends, Daryl and Tess, asylum for as long as they require it. They will be safe here. The Saviors do not set foot inside our walls."

I was very appreciative, of course, but Daryl just had to say something. "How long do you think that's gonna last?"

Ezekiel seemed to have a mixture of hurt and even surprised by Daryl's reaction, but had no time to argue before Daryl took off and the rest of us followed behind him one by one. We headed off together towards the front of the gate.

"Should've known," I said to Tara as I joined up with her in a steady walking pace. "He is all about maintaining peace, after all, especially with the Saviors."

"It was pointless to even come here," Tara remarked, shaking her head. "Especially if Jesus and you both knew that he might say no."

"Paul thought that Rick could change his mind," I sighed, shrugging my shoulders. I knew that Paul was right behind me, too, and listening. "Rick is very persuasive, so I think that it's good that we came, anyways. At least, now, Alexandria and the Kingdom aren't strangers."

Now that we were at the gates and by the school bus, Daryl demanded, "Alright, open it up. We're gone."

"Daryl," came my warning tone before the gates opened. He peered at me, but did not say anything just yet.

Everyone began to leave before Rick said to myself and Daryl both, "You two aren't going."

"We ain't staying here," Daryl barked out to Rick about both myself and him, shaking his head.

"You have to," he urged. "It's the smartest play. You know it is. Try... to talk to Ezekiel. Or, stare him into submission — whatever it takes." He had said this part to Daryl, for the most part, before glancing down at me and nodding, making sure that I heard that. Placing a hand on Daryl's left shoulder and looking deep in his eyes, he promised, "We'll be back soon."

With that said, Rick turned around and I began to wave at everyone until they were all gone and out of sight. After the gates closed and we could no longer see the outside, I slightly moved my hand until it was now holding onto Daryl's wrist, giving it a hard squeeze of reassurance.

They would be back soon and, one of these days, we will get to return back home, too. Daryl knew that, but he was just how I am, too. We had been away from our trusted family for such a long time now, that all we wanted to do was stay with them.

It was like we had been abandoned once again.