I only had a camera that printed out black and white photographs. No sort of color whatsoever. It sucked because it took all the colors out of it.

Everything that made the person or thing in the photograph alive. It made it seem less real than it was at the time.

He was smiling in this particular photograph. His naturally squinted eyes as he shined teeth in his smile. He was happy here. He was at peace here. He was real here. Now, he's not here at all...

All the photographs that I kept deep in my bag, underneath everything else. My Bible was in a proper case underneath everything with my photographs stuffed in it, too. Everything that had ever made me happy was there.

Which included Glenn, who was featured in several photos of mine. Not just him, though, but everybody else. Maggie was in most of them, too, with her shining belly. Then, in others, there was Abraham, Sasha, Eugene, and Rosita. Some included Tara, too, who I missed dearly, and Father Gabriel. There is some of Daryl and Rick, then of Michonne, Carl, and Judith. All in all, everybody was in all of them.

At the bottom of the pile lied my favorite photo of all... A big group picture of everybody. We were all smiling and holding on tightly to one another. I was between Daryl and Glenn while Tara took a knee in front of me, showing off her famous middle fingers. Maggie was holding onto Glenn, but he had his other free arm wrapped around my waist — all while I was hanging onto Daryl, who had his own big arm lapped over my small body.

We were all there together. For once, that is. Usually, we were everywhere, but home. That day, we were meant to be together in that moment to take that picture. The worse was yet to come, but we didn't know that at the time.

We were just happy to be there together in that moment... And that moment shall live on forever and ever, even without all that color.

—

I have been wrestling with my demons lately. They are beginning to take a huge toll on me. Mentally, emotionally, and physically.

Mentally, the way they have been trying to use me against Rick.

Emotionally, the way that all I have been doing lately is crying because of those we just lost.

Then, physically... The way that they have been mistreating me around here.

I have been stripped down to bare skin and the ground was unsurprisingly cold to the touch. My ass was freezing while my back due to the walls. All concrete. I remained in the corner, to where they couldn't actually see me if they suddenly came inside. They'll hand me my food and leave in a hurry. Then, just like that, I am left me in the pure and utter darkness again. Dark and cold. It's the same routine every single day.

Today was no different so far. Daryl remained in the room next to me. I could sometimes hear Dwight talking to him. Usually, he's really mean — which is expected — but I never do hear Daryl say a word back, which is and isn't shocking all in one thought. Before, he would always have something to say, especially when somebody was mean to him or his friends.

Dwight hasn't come to check on me since I have been here. I believe, from the meals that have received so far, Daryl and I have been here for about about a week. Five whole days... without Glenn and Abraham.

I really don't know what they are feeding Daryl, but they have been feeding me tomato sandwiches. All it is, is about five thin slices of tomato shoved in between two pieces of bread. It was something, but nothing much at all. No water to swallow it down with, neither.

So far today, I have not received my one meal of the day. The door hasn't opened yet. I was desperate to get out of here. I was even more desperate to see Daryl again, to make sure that he was okay. I am sure that, mentally, he is in the same boat as me. Probably even emotionally and physically, too, which wouldn't surprise me at all by this point.

I have thought a lot about Paul lately, though. I felt bad that I didn't stick by his side most of the time, especially when it came to the questioning of Gregory's leadership over the Hilltop. Paul agreed with me that Gregory wasn't exactly fit to be the chosen leader, but he wasn't about to complain about it, either. Then, when I would go directly to Gregory, himself, and complain that he wasn't any kind of "leader," Paul would immediately apologize for me and take me away before I could make any official statement.

Every day, I try to sleep on this hard, cold, and filthy floor underneath me. There was nothing else to do, besides cry... and think. A lot. My thoughts have become very dangerous. I am scared to sleep because, when I do, all I can see is Negan with Lucille in hand, bringing her down, and bashing my friends to death.

My nightmares are full of images and repeats of what happened only five days ago.

Abraham...

The images of him saying his very last words before death took him. "Suck my nuts," I remember Abe saying up to Negan after being hit once by Lucille. I remember seeing Abraham signal a peace sign towards Sasha, who wasn't far from me. He was so brave – more brave than I ever would be.

Glenn...

"I'll find you," Glenn had struggled to say to Maggie, but it hit me just as hard. He didn't say my name because I wasn't his wife or the mother of his unborn child. He wasn't mine, and I know that. Lucille had already did her own little number on him before he finally got to say his last words.

I remember how I was wishing death upon myself after Glenn was officially gone. I remember crying and crying until I nearly puked. I remember wanting to jump up and murder Negan with my bare hands. I remember what really happened, though, most of all.

So, I will sleep and try to forget what really happened. I will dream that I am back at Alexandria, surrounded by everybody that I have come to really care about there. I will dream about Maggie with her new baby and what she calls it, but I never can see what it is or what the name is, unfortunately. Though, the image is still nice to imagine.

I will dream that Abraham is still our lookout and cracking jokes every chance he gets. He is still smiling and shaking with each chuckle. I will dream of Sasha up there with him while she laughs about some ridicl joke that he has told. Eugene is rocking a ponytail in the back of his mullet, which I have occasionally laughed at before.

I will dream that Daryl and I have come back from a small mission or something, and are immediately welcomed back with open arms. Rick is there with Michonne under his arm while Carl is chasing after Judith, who seems to be about five-years-old or even slightly older than that, but not by much. Rick comes up to Daryl and hugs him while Michonne embraces me. We hold onto each other for a while until Judith runs in between our legs and we laugh about it.

Glenn and Maggie start to walk up to us with big smiles while she is holding their baby in her arms. Glenn hugs me while Maggie is talking to Michonne, but I have no idea about what. Nothing else mattered because Glenn was hugging me and I was holding him back.

Every dream will end the same, though. It ends with Glenn whispering something in my ear, but I never get to hear it before I am suddenly woken up. Every night, I dream the same thing and never get to hear his very last words to me.

Suddenly, before I know it, the door is yanked open and the light comes in. My thoughts were interrupted. For a moment, it burned my eyes, but I knew that it was only temporary before somebody throws in my plastic plate of food before they shut it again. However, this seemed to be different.

Instead of a plate being thrown in, it was clothes. "Change into these," the voice demanded, but I didn't know who it belonged to yet. "You have five minutes, so you better be changed before we come back."

Then, the door closed behind the voice and the darkness was what was left. Slowly, I began to crawl across the cold floor until I felt the clothes in my hands. I picked them up and tried to get myself dressed before they were to return.

I wasn't going to not get dressed. If I didn't, it would risk all of these people seeing me naked. Plus, I bet these worthless clothes would make me feel warmer. My body had become numb to the cold, so the warm clothes made me feel better.

However, just as I slid the jumpsuit on, the door opened again without the top of it being on my upper body. Good thing was that my back was turned against the door, so they couldn't see my front. Quickly, I slid the top part of it on and turned around, seeing that there was no buttons or zipper, so half of each of my breast was hanging out along with my plain stomach.

I was clearly very unsatisfied by the clothes and the three minutes that I was given than the five that I was promised. Standing there in the frame of the door was – to my surprise – Dwight, but with two other Saviors standing him.

"Good. You're ready," he commented, analyzing my appearance from head to toe for a whole minute. "It looks good on you."

"I need a shirt," I deadpanned in return instead. I havent spoken a word since being here, so hearing myself speak took me by surprise. "I'm not walking around like this."

For a moment, Dwight stood there very still and quiet, going into deep thought. Though, he was staring straight at me. Was he checking me out?

Finally, he nodded and finally promised, "I'll get you one. Just c'mon."

He leaped forward and grabbed my arm, as hard as he could. "No," I testified and tried to escape — but to no avail. "I'm not going anywhere until I get a proper shirt!"

"You will," he growled, pulling on my arm even tighter than before. He seemed to finally find the strength to carry me out of that dungeon.

He had his arm tightened around my right arm as he dragged me out of there and straight into the hallway. I can only hope that it was clean in the halls since I had no shoes on to protect me from anything that might be down there.

The two other Saviors followed after us as we continued down the hall until we got to another door, which seemed nicer than my own. It sat there like there was going to be a nice apartment behind it. Dwight stood me up by the wall across from the nice door before he entered the door, closed it, and returned only a beat later with a plain white tank-top in hand.

"Here," he muttered and threw it to me. "You're going to go in here and change."

With that said, I walked forward and entered through the door before the door behind me closed. I glanced over my shoulder and seen Dwight standing there, and I froze in confusion.

"What are you doing?" I asked, frustrated. "I can't change with you in here with me."

"Yes, you can," he countered, turning around. "I'll have my back on you, so you can."

With that said, I rolled my eyes and turned my own back on him. I wasn't going to win here. Clearly.

So, I dropped the top half of the jumpsuit down. As I began to put the plain white tank-top on, I took a moment to examine the room. It was a simple bedroom, but small. I seen a bunch of plaid shirts hanging off of a chair, which instantly made me believe that this was really Dwight's personal room.

"You better not be trying to find something around here to use against me," I heard him say from behind me, threatening. "Because, before you even think about it, you will be caught."

I shook my head and practically whispered, "No. I'm not."

"Good," he grunted, somewhat awkwardly. Then, he cleared his throat. "You done yet?"

I nodded, even though he couldn't see that. "Yeah, but I want to know what I'm doing today first."

He turned around to face me with his hands on his waist. "You'll be dealing with me today," he answered, no hesitation. "Don't worry. I'll play nice."

I rolled my eyes and silently huffed out, "Lovely."

"C'mon now," he demanded and opened the door, revealing the same two Saviors. We walked out there together and, as soon Dwight had shut the door behind us and locked it, he said to the Saviors, "You two can leave us now."

With that said, the two rough-looking Saviors nodded and left, disappearing around the corner. After they were officially gone, Dwight looked down at me and said, "Okay, let's go. Stay quiet and stay very close to me at all times."

I nodded and began to walk in his shadow until we came to some double-doors, which he opened and it revealed the sudden sunlight. I placed my arm over my eyes and shielded myself from it like I was a damn vampire.

Nevertheless, he held the doors open for me and I walked out, having him behind me now to shut the doors.

"...What the hell?" I breathed out, looking forward.

The crazy sight in the front of the Sanctuary was beyond weird. There is a big fence surrounding these Walkers that were stuck in there, but they weren't alone. There were other prisoners in there, trying to fight them off. It was disgusting.

"C'mon," he simply said and took me by the arm again, trying to pull me down the stairs. I hesitantly shook my head and planted my feet firm on the ground. He noticed that I wasn't moving and looked back at me. "Tess..."

"No," I growled under my breath, still frightened and glaring down at the fenced-in prison. "I'm not going in there."

"You're not," he tried to reassure me. I stared at him in question. "Just c'mon and trust me here."

For a second longer, I stood there hesitant, but when he pulled on me again, I decided to just let him take me along with him.

What was funny here is that he wanted me to trust him here. Throughout everything, I still remember what he whispered in my ear right after Glenn died, forcing me to stare down at what was left of my friend.

Look at there, T. He was your friend. Your best friend. Am I right?

Before stepping out, we stopped as some woman, with half of her hair shaved off, came up to us before slapping some poor excuse of sandals in front of my feet. Well, at least my feet won't be that bad on the rough pavement anymore.

Finally, we began to walk down in front of the fences and, then, we stopped. Several Saviors were out there, guarding and watching those who was inside the fences. They seemed to be just standing around, though, waiting on something to happen, I guess.

"Stay here," Dwight whispered in my ear, like he did rght after Glenn had died. He suddenly disappeared without a trace. I stood by the fence, but not close enough to be attacked by the Walkers on the inside.

I watched those innocent prisoners fighting off the Walkers to the best of their ability without any weapons. One had a tall-thin pole, but for some reason, he wasn't killing the Walker directly in front of him.

"Oh, hell yes," I suddenly heard a very familiar voice yell. So, I spun around to see Negan coming around one of the trucks with a big fat smile on his face and Lucille in his hand, laying on his shoulder. "That's what I am talking about!"

Suddenly, everybody began to take a knee and look down at the ground. I didn't know what to say as I just stood there, looking down at them in question.

Abruptly, somebody practically ran over to me and yanked me down to the ground with him. "Stay down and say nothing," he advised me and I did as I was now being told to do. It wasn't Dwight, so who the hell was this?

He was holding my arm, making sure that I was down and had my eyes glued to the ground, too. I heard Negan roughly hitting the ground with the rocks that nearly smacked me right in the face. He walked passed everyone while I heard him laughing, finding amusement in all of this. What a prick...

"You may all stand now," Negan suddenly called out and everyone began to slowly stand up. I only could see the back of his head as he entered through the doors that Dwight and I had just came out of.

What the hell was that about?

I turned to my left, where the man was now standing. He was actually really handsome, compared to most of the men around here. He had his hair back, sort of wavy, and the color was dirty blonde. He had matching eyes, too, which was light brown.

"Thank you," I decided to thank him for saving me back there. I wondered what would've happened if I had just stood there when Negan walked up. It'll just be easier on me if I just go ahead and say my thanks, so it won't cost me later.

"No problem," he shrugged and finally let go of my arm.

Dwight suddenly showed back up like a bolt of lightening, armed with a hammer — of all things. We turned towards him together. "Alden," Dwight said to the man beside me. "What are you doing here?"

"I just saved your prisoner's ass," Alden barked back at him, no hesitation whatsoever to get right in his face. "She didn't know what to do, so I saved her from what Negan could've done to her."

With that said, Alden passed right by Dwight, making sure to nudge shoulders with him, before eventually disappearing altogether.

When he officially out of sight, Dwight turned towards me and actually apologized. "Sorry 'bout that. I forget to tell you that, whenever Negan is around, you have to bow down. You can't say anything or even look up at him. That's the rules."

What the fuck? I wanted to ask, but decided against it quickly. I wasn't about to question or even understand the rules. I am not about be here long enough to care. I was getting out of here the first damn chance that I get.

"What's the hammer for?" I decided to ask him, examining the tool in his hand. "You don't get to have more weapons than that around here?"

He shook his head and responded, "No, it's not that."

"Then, what is it for?" I huffed, getting aggravated by being slowly played along here.

After I asked, he sighed loudly and placed his left hand on his waist. "It's, uh," he stammered out, then gulped. "Well... It's for you, actually."

"Me?" I squeaked out in surprise.

He handed me the hammer and I took ahold of it, feeling the weight of it in my hands. I didn't know what to do or how to respond here. Why would he just hand me a hammer for? Was it for me to bash my own head in with?

"I'm sorry that I lied to you," he shockingly apologized – again – which made my eyebrows meet in the middle of my forehead. "I didn't know that you would have to go inside the fences today."

No...

"You have got to be kidding me," I grunted with my eyes now closed in anger and disbelief. "Dwight, I—"

"I know and I'm sorry." He was starting to sound like a broken-record here. This apology, however, came out in a whisper. I am hearing all of these apologies from him today, but I still haven't heard one for what he was apart of the other night – on top of how he treated me after the fact.

The reason why he quietly apologized to me straight to my face is because he didn't want everybody else to know that he was being like this towards me. "Just get in there today and I'll have you doing something different tomorrow. Okay?"

"What do I even have to do?" I squealed out like a pig — without actually meaning to. I was mad, confused, sad, frustrated, and everything else that followed. I was in these mixed emotions that was driving me right back to anger, most of all.

"Hold the dead off," he simply barked out, which didn't help me whatsoever. "Don't get bit."

I rolled my eyes and thought to myself, Gee, thanks for the advice... Not!

To him, though, I said, "What the hell is that suppose to mean?"

"It means," he began saying and turned towards me, "you're not supposed to cuss at any of us — especially Negan, so don't start with me."

To that, I rolled my eyes and growled under my breath. I don't want to go in there and burn underneath this hot ass sun while they won't even let me put my hair up. Assholes.

Dwight opened the gate and it squealed, which bothered me a little bit. "Don't draw attention to yourself," I heard him whisper in my ear before. And, just to act tough around his fellow Saviors, he pushed me inside the fence with the hammer as my one and only weapon.

I trampled inside without actually falling to my knees. This surprised me and mostly because I am normally very clumsy and will fall over anything – including my own shadow. Nevertheless, I nearly fell over my feet just to get in there – which reminded me that these sandles really suck.

Immediately, I was almost attacked by two of the Walkers that were practically guarding the entrance from the inside. I jumped, but didn't actually react, before walking right into the middle of it all with other fellow prisoners.

Don't draw attention to yourself, I heard Dwight's words entered in my mind again as I just stood there, not doing anything at all. I was gripping the hammer with both of my hands for dear life. I had it squeezed to my chest so much that it might leave an imprint on my body later, like a permanent tattoo.

"What are you doing?" one of the male prisoners called out to me after finally chaining the Walker back to the fence. He came up to me with blood splattered across his face, obviously angered. "You gotta do something or they'll come in here and drag you out by your hair."

I didn't say anything. Maybe my face said it all. I was embarrassed, confused, and just simply didn't care. So, I just shrugged him off and kept my lips clammed shut. This seemed to frustrate him even more, though.

Who the hell did this guy think he was? He wasn't the ringleader here. He is just another prisoner here against his will — just like me. I do not think he needs to be barking orders at me. I mean, if I don't wanna do it, he can't make me. If I don't do anything and I get yanked out of here, then I won't have to be here anymore — which is a plus for us both.

He got up behind me and yelled nearly directly in my ear, "Go do your job! Hurry up! Go!" Once again, I didn't know who this guy thought he was, but he was the only one who is pushing my buttons here. "Hurry up before they come in here!"

I bit my bottom lip and was going to keep ignoring him until he did something he shouldn't have... He pushed me and I really almost fell down this time. I did not realize how mad that I was until I found my balance again to get up.

By the time that I was back on my feet, I was fuming and, suddenly, the images of Glenn and Abraham's deaths popped into my mind. I was livid now. I am so tired of being pushed around and a victim.

Then, before I realized what I was doing, I placed the hammer in my dominant right-hand, straightened my back up, and swung the weapon around. The guy completely fell to the ground to avoid the weapon. One of the Walkers had gotten loose and was coming after me, so – against the "rules" – I drove the hammer into its skull, immediately putting it down.

Before I knew it, I started to go on a warpath of raged killings. One by one, I began to take out every single one of the Walkers that were in there while the other prisoners shielded themselves from my rage. Then, once I was done and all the Walkers laid dead on the ground, I turned and faced the guy that was just on my back before.

He was still lying on the ground, balancing himself with his elbows, and looked scared as hell. "Got something to say now, you dick?!" I yelled down at him, holding the hammer high and ready to slam down on his head, too. "Huh? Do you?"

"Tess," I suddenly heard my name being called out. I looked up, turned completely around, and spotted Dwight standing in the middle of the now-opened gate entrance.

"No, let her," a new voice came into the mix as everybody was now bowing and taking a knee, including Dwight. "No, stand up. Let everybody take a witness to this."

Then, one by one, everyone gingerly stood back up. Negan... Just like before, he was back to smiling and looking like he was about to fall over backwards with that back of his. Most of all, though, he had Lucille hanging on his shoulder. He seemed impressed, to say the least.

"Tess," he smiled my name from ear to ear. He knew my name now, thanks to Dwight. Eventually, he would re-learn it. He started to walk pass Dwight and finally stopped beside me. He took Lucille and tapped the guy's shoulder with it. "Get up. You're pathetic."

It did not take much before he jumped up and ran away, hiding away in one of corners of the fences like a coward. Wow.

"Man," Negan sang out, stomping his foot and smiling even larger than before. "Look. At. You. You came in here and killed all of my biters. By the looks of things, you were going to kill one of my prisoners, too. Man... You are tough. Tough as damn nails! Nah, let me rephrase... Tough as Lucille here — and that's pretty damn tough!"

"Don't test me," I threatened with a growl. I couldn't believe myself right now. What is this force, though? And, well, since I have nothing else to lose... "I'm going to kill you, sooner than later."

"Woo," Negan breathed out and stepped backwards. He was still smiling. "Look. At. You." He paused, just to point at me every time he breathed out a simple word. "You have some serious lady-balls!"

Nobody said anything. Nobody did anything. It was completely silent after this point. Negan was impressed, and I have no earthly idea why. Shouldn't I be dead by now? I stood up to Negan, which is legitimately forbidden here.

"C'mon, Tess," Negan suddenly said and turned his back on me. "We have much to discuss."

I don't know why, but I decided to just follow after him, anyways. I was to follow the killer that took away my two friends and continues to hold me hostage from living my own life.

It was now or never...