9. homesick

based around the same timeline as the season four episodes stereo store and hal's friend

When I'm with anybody else
It's so hard to be myself
And only you can tell
- I'm Only Me When I'm With You, Taylor Swift

My next few weeks with Asher are like a dream. Every time he kisses me by the locker in front of his football friends my heart flutters and I have to pinch myself. The popular girls at least acknowledge me now, though they didn't take me in. I wouldn't want to be in their snobby circle anyway. It's a few days until April, which means the formal. And since I have a boyfriend, that means I'll get to have a real date.

Ever since I stopped walking to school with the Wilkerson boys because Asher drives me, they've been suspicious. I was doing a fairly good job at keeping my relationship with him hidden from them until Malcolm saw us kissing at school. I should have figured one of them would see us eventually.

I say goodbye to him as he walks away with his football friends after lunch. He even gave me his varsity jacket to wear! I walk over to my locker with a smile, getting out the books I need for English class.

I shut it's door and look to my right.

"Boo!"

I did not expect to see a figure standing there, ready to jump-scare me. And me, being in my Asher-filled trance, fell for it. I flinch, a squeal i try to contain inevitably escapes. I lean against my locker with a laugh when I see who it is.

"Reese! You can't do that to me in public!" I punch his shoulder. He's doing that chipmunk giggle he does whenever he's done something mischievous—which is almost always. It makes me laugh even harder.

"You weren't there at lunch," he mentions when our giggles die out. I feel a pang of guilt in my chest. He's been sitting alone lately while I hang out with Asher's huge popular clique.

"Yeah, I was... with some of my friends—sorry." I don't know how long I can keep using that excuse. He nods in understanding, eyes darting to the varsity jacket I'm wearing.

His eyebrows furrow at it, "who's jacket is that?"

"Uh, it's my boyfriend's," I have to practically force the last word out. It's weird calling him my boyfriend, or talking about him to Reese.

"Oh," he nods again. The air around us grows awkward, it's unpleasantly unfamiliar. He studies his shoes, "I'll see you after school?" he asks, eyes looking everywhere but me.

I nod, but I'm not sure he sees me. "Yeah," I say.

That was weird. It shouldn't be this way with Reese.

When I go over to the Wilkersons' house the next day for breakfast, they won't stop badgering me about Asher—Malcolm specifically. Lois left for her sister's, so I don't have her to defend me. If I knew how to cook, I'd make them food, but Hal has a strict no dishes policy either way. So I watch as a gallon of orange juice is passed around the table. Dewey hands it to me since he refuses to drink after Reese, and I practically have no choice but to drink it. Everything on the table looks questionable, might as well.

A few days ago, Hal got them a babysitter since he has two jobs. That babysitter also happened to be a girl from our school who is Malcolm's age. When I tried going over, she practically kicked me out saying they weren't allowed to have any friends over. Malcolm was begging for me to help, but she was good.

Craig and I have been taking turns doing things Lois would do if she was here, like the laundry and such. I have no idea how these boys would survive without her.

We clear the table by shoving everything into a garbage bag. As Hal places the orange juice back in the fridge, he speaks up, "I talked to your mother last night, she misses you all very much, and she'll be home soon." The boys spin their heads towards him.

"How soon?" Reese asks.

"A few weeks." The boys sigh, they've been having the time of their lives while Lois has been away.

"Oh, and Reese, she wanted you to sweep the leaves off the roof when you get home from school today," Hal says just as we were going to grab our backpacks and leave.

"What?! But today's the only day that Alison's parents aren't home... to interfere with her homework." Nice save, Reese.

"Reese, your mother-"

"This isn't fair! Mom can't control us when she's not even here!" Reese raises his voice.

"Nobody is being controlled by your mother," Hal scoffs, "for instance, I'm inviting an old friend over tonight and even though we're never going to tell your mother about it, it doesn't mean we're being controlled." He makes a hand gesture to enunciate his point. "To repeat, your mother is never to hear about this and you guys are just gonna love Larry, we were inseparable in high school but seriously, your mother cannot find out he was in this house."

Geez, we get it.

"Dad, you're hurting me," Dewey says and Hal releases him from his grip.

"Sorry, sweetheart."

I see Asher's car pull up next to my house as soon as we're out the door, and the boys squint to see it. I was dreading the moment they had to see him drive me to school. I start to walk faster. "Is that your boyfriend?" Reese says in an appalled tone. I nod, not looking at him. "Nice car..." he stops to watch me as I go over to the vehicle.

"Bye, guys!" I wave to them, but only Dewey waves back. 

I get into the passenger seat and shut the car door, his arm is already around my seat. "Hey," he smiles at me.

"Hi," I let out a laugh, he still makes me so nervous. He leans over the console and I take that as a sign to lean over too to peck him on the lips. He then drives away and I look into the rearview mirror, I can still see Reese and the boys standing in the driveway, looking at the car drive away. I can't exactly pinpoint if they're upset, and if so, at what—especially Reese.

Asher has his arm around me everytime he sees me at school. At lunch, I sit with him. I can see Alison talking to her friends but Reese is nowhere around. A part of me feels like I should look for him, but I don't.

The next day, Asher takes me to a movie. It's some kind of new horror film I haven't heard of. We watch silently for the first twenty or so minutes, but then I feel his arm pull me closer.

I have an inkling about what he's trying to do.

I look at him, and he looks at me too. Our faces are just inches apart. His hand goes to hold my face and he kisses me.

We rarely kiss for this long, it's bordering on making out. His hand moves to touch my inner thigh and I pull away in surprise.

"What's wrong?" he whispers and removes his hand.

I gulp, "nothing."

"Alright, then," he pulls me in again but I lean away.

"I don't want to." I don't know where this is coming from. Asher is really hot, but it's weird enough making out in a public place, even if it's dark. With his hand reaching there just a minute ago, I didn't like where this was going.

He scoffs, "what do you mean?"

"I just—I don't feel comfortable doing this right now," I don't look at him, crossing my arms

"What? We're at a theatre, what'd you expect us to do?" I give him a confused look. Is there something I'm missing?

I shake my head and whisper-yell at him sarcastically, "I don't know, watch the movie?"

He frowns, "Come on, Tessa, don't be a prude." He grabs me by my waist to pull me in again but I swat his arm away—it's a rough reflex of mine. I hit him a bit too hard. After all, I'm used to dealing with 4 of the most troublesome boys ever.

"Ow. Are you kidding me right now?" He cradles his arm.

"Just, don't." I look away from him. People are beginning to give us strange looks now.

His eyes dart around in embarrassment before saying, "you know what, forget it." He quickly scurries up to leave the theatre. This is probably why he wouldn't let me get any popcorn. His plan was definitely not to watch a movie.

A part of me feels guilty, like I overreacted. I look down at my hands, I feel stupid for not knowing what he meant. I sit there for a few minutes, until I get out of the theatre. I don't exactly know how I'm going to get home, so I look for a payphone and put in a quarter to call the only number I have memorized, the Wilkerson's landline.

It rings for a few long seconds before I hear a voice on the other end. "Hello?" it's Reese, he sounds out of breath.

"Hi, Reese. Are you busy?" My shoulders relax when I hear his voice.

"A little, I'm about to kick Dewey's ass."

"No, listen, this is important. I'm kind of... alone at the theatre that's in town. So if you could just tell Hal or something because I don't have a ride and I can't walk home." I feel pathetic telling him to come pick me up.

He's silent for a few seconds, "uh, okay...I'll tell him right now and we'll be there." I can hear the concern in his voice.

"Okay, thank you so much. Bye," I say in a rushed manner and he repeats the last word before ending the call. I wait outside the theatre, it's always busy at this time of the evening. I try looking for the car I know so well amongst all the bustle.

In a few minutes, I see it, and I'm washed over by relief. I waste no time getting into the backseat, where Dewey and Reese are. I'm surprised they came. I mentally slap myself for going into the backseat instead of the passenger seat, it's muscle memory for me to do so.

"Hi, Tess," Hal looks back at me before driving.

"Hi." I look into my lap, my arm keeps bumping with Reese's who is sitting next to me.

He looks down at me and says, "hey, what happened? Who were you with?"

"I'll tell you about it later."

He frowns but keeps his mouth shut, the ride is painfully quiet. When we get home I thank Hal for the ride. I almost go to my house before Reese stops me by my arm, "you gonna tell me?" Hal and Dewey go into the house and we stay outside.

"I was just out—on a date... but it didn't end up so good, obviously," I shrug, trying to make it seem casual. I just wanted to go to sleep.

"What'd he do?" his face contorts, I know that face. The face he makes when someone breaks something that's his, or tells him to do something he doesn't want to do. He's angry.

"He didn't do anything," but he did, "we just got into a stupid fight and he went back home."

He's not as tensed up now, "okay... but if he ever does anything, you tell me."

I snort. Asher would tower above him, he's on the football team after all, but I'd honestly love to see Reese take him right now. "I will, Reese." I notice he's still holding my arm, "will you let go now?"

"Oh, yeah."

He still has that concerned look over his face, it makes my heart swell.

Something takes over me, I'm not sure what. It just feels right to do, I wrap my arms around him. I have his thin frame in a tight embrace, my hands clutching his baggy shirt.

He hugs me back not a few moments later. It's so warm, I can smell the familiar earthy scent of him. My head rests in the curve of his neck comfortably because of our close heights. He kisses my head and whispers something indiscernible against my hair, I hug him even tighter. For some reason, I feel my eyes well up. I've missed him, everything has been so distant lately. His arms around me are reassuring.

He feels so much like home, and I've been terribly homesick lately.

AN:

sorry for the short chapter!!
I promise a kiss is coming soon!! also asher is suchhh an asshole.

i'm jealous of tess rn, i wanna hug reese so bad.

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