based around the same timeline as the season four episode if boys were girls

❛ He can't see the smile I'm faking
And my heart's not breaking
Cause I'm not feeling anything at all ❜
- The Way I Loved You, Taylor Swift

The girls at school won't stop going on about Valentine's day coming up, it's really getting annoying.

The past month or so has been crazy. I mean, Lois found out she was pregnant!

I haven't been feeling very great either, Malcolm has been distant and so has Reese. I've always felt like if I had no one, I'd have them. But then why do I feel so lonely? It feels petty for me to be upset that Reese hangs out with his girlfriend during school instead of me, but I can't help it. Malcolm has always kept his distance, I thought I could rely on Reese if not him.

Truth is, I've been avoiding him, and I don't know if he noticed. He's truly happy now, even though he and Alison fight quite a bit—I don't want to interfere at all. He's so naive, he doesn't understand that I can be a threat to his relationship too, whether he feels anything for me or not.

This is what's best for him, so I go through it, nevermind how sullen it makes me.

A group of girls giggle about Valentines on my right, and I roll my eyes. It's mostly because they're loud and annoying, but also because they have dates and I don't. Why does the universe hate me? I've become mean and bitter!

Then, as if I summoned an angel from the heavens, I shut my locker door only to be greeted by the beautiful face of Asher Scott. I gasp when I see him but quickly collect myself and straighten up my back—damn my bad posture.

"H—hi," manage to croak out, he just keeps on that perfect smile of his. He's a junior and a football player, so what is he doing leaning against a locker smiling at me?

"You know, I've seen you around a lot," his blue eyes are so piercing that I can't even look at them, I don't know what to reply to him so I just let out a strange laugh.

"Really?" I twirl my hair around my fingers.

"Yeah, and I thought: that girl is so pretty, I'd kill to take her on a date." My face turns red so fast and I flash him a dumbstruck smile. Me? Asher Scott wants to take me on a date? "So, since Valentines is coming up, whaddya think?" He continues, and I'm rendered speechless once again by his smile.

"I, uh, okay. When?"

He laughs. "I just told you, Valentine's day—February 14th. It's a Saturday."

"Oh, haha," I nervously giggle. I can't believe I already embarrassed myself in front of him like that. He hasn't even been speaking to me for a minute!

"Can I have your number?" I sense a little bit of nervousness in him and I quickly pull out a notebook and a pen to write my number on, I rip the paper off and hand it to him. He smiles at it, "well, I'll see you around." I watch as his tall form walks away, blonde hair shimmering under the sunlight. Am I dreaming?

When I get back home, I don't go to Wilkerson's house for once. They call me over for lunch and dinner but I don't dare to move from the phone. I get up to make instant noodles and grab a pack of chips when I get hungry, but that's it. Only time my eye's leave the phone is when I have to go to the bathroom. At 8 pm, it finally rings—and I scramble towards it.

"Hello," I try to sound casual, even though I did answer a bit too soon.

"Hey," I hear his voice from over the static of the phone. He asks about my adress and tells me he can't wait to see me. Can you believe that? Asher Scott can't wait to see me? When the phone call ends I practically skip to the
Wilkerson's in joy to tell the first person I see about this.

Lois is right there in the kitchen, I walk up to her with a bright smile. "You need any help?"

"No... why are you so happy? And why didn't you come over for dinner?" She leans on the counter, her bump is already bigger than I remember.

"I need to tell you something."

Her brows furrow, "go ahead."

I take a deep breath and begin, "okay, I've been dying to tell someone about this all day. The cutest guy at school, Asher Scott, just asked me out today at school. It was amazing, it was like he appeared out of thin air to be my knight in shining armor. And just in time for Valentines too. He even asked for my number, I was just talking to him on the phone. Best part is, he has a car," I end my rant with a toothy grin.

Lois smiles in wonder as I tell her about the boy, "oh, that's wonderful, honey. You won't believe how much I'm hoping this baby's a girl just so I can hear more stuff like this, it's the sweetest thing."

I shrug, "well then, you're gonna hear alot about it from me.... And it would be nice to have a baby girl around, I'm just worried the boys would scar her for life." Lois makes a face at my last comment but then brushes it off. She sits down on the kitchen table in front of me.

"You're right... If it is a girl I'll just run away with her," she laughs.

"Hey, I turned out fine,"

She sighs, "well, we don't know if this baby is as strong as you. I still don't know how you've handled them all these years."

I shrug again, "I don't know, I just have." Honestly, I don't know how I've tolerated them my whole life, it just came naturally to me. I'm a saint compared to them, but to other people I'm just as unhinged. I guess growing up with them is what adapted me to their behavior.

On Valentine's day, Lois makes pancakes for all of us. We usually have pancakes during special occasions, so I'm more than excited to go over. The boys gorge down their food and I can't help but do the same. I spy Reese across from me wipe syrup he got on his hands on his shirt, a bad habit of his I always scold him for. I stare at him and he looks at me, guiltily getting up to get a paper towel.

When we're done the boys all rush to their room to get dressed, since it's a weekend and we're supposed to play basketball. I help Lois clean up the table and she sits down with a sigh for some tea. Hal goes into their room too before coming out with a box—he always gets her the sweetest Valentine's gifts. It's an overall for the baby this time, I watch them from where I'm standing by the counter.

The boys excitedly run out in their basketball attire with the ball, hurrying Hal and I, but they stop to give Lois her Valentine's Day gift. It's a half eaten box of chocolate, but it's an accomplishment from them.

When Dewey sees I don't have my usual sports clothes on, he asks if I'm coming. I shake my head, "No, Dewey. I'm busy today." Really, I just need to get ready for my date later. I
don't want to ruin it by getting all sweaty.

"Oh man, you're not playing today? We're gonna lose," Malcolm's shoulders slump in disappointment.

"You've got Dewey, you'll be fine," I brush it off. They eventually run out with their father. I watch as they pass the ball to each other as they get out of the door and I watch from afar,  aching to go with them. Basketball days are always a thrill.

That evening, I wear my best new shirt—a black one with sequins. I put some effort into my eye makeup, even though I mess it up a few times. It's stressful, I've never been on a real date before. It's almost 5 PM, which is when I told Asher to come; before my father gets home. I haven't told him about the date; it would be too much to explain, and I don't know what his reaction would be. When I get home, I'll just tell him I was with the Wilkersons.

I hear the loud beep of his car's horn, and run to the living room to see his it from the window. I take one more look at myself in the mirror and rush out the front door. He's waiting in his expensive looking convertible, and for a moment I feel embarrassed about having him see my not so rich neighborhood.

He takes me to a nice diner in town, nothing special but fancy enough that I've never been to it before. He tells me about a football game, and asks me about my family. When I mention the Wilkersons, he asks if one of them is that one 'annoying skinny kid' who hangs out by the football field, and I say yes—frowning at his description of Reese, someone I just said is family to me.

Overall, he's even nicer than I expected him to be. I turn red everytime he says I look pretty and when he talks about how he's been admiring me at school from afar this whole time. I just can't imagine someone like him feeling that way about me.

He drops me off a few hours later and says he'd love to do this again sometime. I feel like flying. As soon as I shut the living room door I bite my lip and watch his car drive away, he waited until I got in the house. My dad is no where to be found but I pay no mind to it, doing a happy dance all the way into my room.

As soon as I get in, I can see the boys from the window. Dewey is playing with an action figure and Malcolm is seemingly studying on his desk. Reese walks in and begins talking to him; not noticing me through the window.

I close my curtains to change into something more comfortable and go to their house. Lois winks at me when she sees me, she remembered my plan for today.

I go into the boys room, Reese is the only one to look at me, the others too busy. His busted lip is still red and swollen, I remember my terrified reaction when Malcolm punched him straight to the ground and almost laugh at the memory. "Ugh, where have you been all day?" He gets up and walks towards me, a dull look on his face.

"I was busy, sorry," I say, looking down at the floor.

"Busy? So busy you couldn't even come play basketball with us or come over for dinner?" He frowns, I don't understand why he's so upset.

I roll my eyes, "Reese, come on. It's a weekend—Valentine's day, I had plans...with a friend."

Before he can reply, Malcolm looks up from his book. "If you guys wanna talk so loud then don't do it right where I'm trying to study." I don't know why he's so cranky, Reese is too.

"Geez—Alright, nerd. A hello would've been nice," I walk out the room, Reese following suit into the hallway.

"What do you mean you had plans with a friend? You missed the roast chicken I made," his raises his eyebrows.

I don't know how to explain to him that I was on a date without him pummeling me with questions. "I'm sorry, Reese, I wouldn't have wanted to miss it if I knew beforehand."

Lois walks past us into her and Hal's room before peeking out the door to speak, "Reese, don't forget to ice your lip. I don't know how it just keeps getting more swollen." She shuts the door and we begin walking to the kitchen.

"I saved you a seat and waited for you to come, I made it just the way you like it," he says, head down. I fidget with my hands in guilt, he's like a sad puppy.

"I had plans, I had no idea," my voice raises in defense.

He opens the freezer to get some ice while saying, "eh, whatever. I saved you some anyway, it's in the fridge." I smile at that. I might have eaten at the diner, but Reese's cooking is undefeated. He struggles with the stubborn ice tray and shakes it roughly at an attempt to pull it out.

"Hey, stop. Gimme that," I move his hand away and try pulling it myself, it comes out with one gentle tug. I give him a 'see?' look before opening a drawer for a cloth. He goes over to sit on the couch with a sigh, and I return the ice tray so I can follow him with some ice wrapped in the cloth.

I stand in front of him to gently place it on the cut, and he winces. His hand goes up to touch my arm as his face contorts, but then it rests on my waist. The pain seems to slowly dissipate as his eyes come up to mine. His greens and my blues lock for a few seconds. I can see his eyes darken when he looks up at me despite the brightness of the room, and my breath hitches.

I don't realize I had zoned out until he pulls me out of the trance by placing the star charm of my necklace between his fingers. "You're still wearing it." His cold hands graze my neck and I almost shiver.

I give him the ice and sit down next to him. "Of course I am."

"I'm just surprised it's survived for this long," he makes an impressed face, trying to speak while holding the ice against his lip.

"Well, as long as you don't break it, it'll be fine."

He makes a mischievous look and gives it a tug, "Hey!" My instincts take the better of me, he just laughs at my reaction.

"Relax," he keeps laughing, throwing his head backwards. I punch him on his shoulder lightly and look away, resisting the urge to laugh too.

"I hate you."

"And I love you."

"This is why Malcolm punched you in the face," I glare.

"You wanna finish this?" He removes the ice, motioning to his swollen lip.

I grab the remote from the coffee table to turn on the TV. "Shut up, Reese." We watch TV for about an hour before saying our goodnights.

I don't go to sleep right away, instead choosing to have the dinner Reese saved for me as a late night snack. My kitchen is dark and solemnly quiet, the only sound that keeps reverberating through the house being the clattering of my fork against the plate.

At one point, my father comes back home. He silently greets me and immediately goes into his room to sleep. My time alone allows me to think.

It's still so surreal that a boy like Asher wants to date me, and the fact that I have a very good chance of getting a boyfriend. A boyfriend on the football team to be precise. I think of the way my status at school would change and smirk. Asher is like a dream come true, straight out of a teen drama.

Then my mind wanders, and it strays back to the green eyes that stared at me so intently just a few hours back. Reese's eyes connected with mine for a mere few seconds, but the dark gaze he gave me through his lashes made it seem like I could feel the seconds ticking by.

I gulp at the simple thought of it.

Those eyes seemingly hold no coherent thoughts behind them, so how is it fair that they render me weak with one look?