Despite my promise to Laurel, I didn't even get a chance to speak to Remus over the following days, let alone apologise to him. He seemed to be avoiding me — sitting at the other end of the table to me at meetings, eating in the kitchen at different times, and (from what I'd heard on the rare occasions I left my own bedroom) spending most of his free time in his bedroom so he wouldn't run into me.

I deserve it, I thought, at least fifty times a day. I shouldn't have been so stupid...

After a whole week of this silence, though, it was wearing on me. I didn't like to admit it, but Remus had become important to me during my year at Hogwarts and my stay at St Mungo's afterwards, and not having him to talk to when I was forced to relive the painful memories of my past had pushed me to the brink of a breakdown.

It wasn't just Remus whose attitude towards me had changed since my outburst — pretty much everyone in the Order was being colder towards me, ignoring me unless they absolutely had to acknowledge my presence. The three exceptions to this were Laurel, who was kind and caring as ever (though slightly reproachful that I hadn't apologised to Remus yet), Sirius, who apparently kept trying to convince Remus to make peace with me, and Thana, who had simply handed me some books about PTSD and acted as though my outburst had never happened.

It was exactly a week later, after yet another meeting where I was completely ignored, that Snape finally took advantage of the fact nobody seemed to care about me anymore.

A pointed look from him as everyone began to leave was all it took to keep me there, an all-too-familiar feeling of anxiety creeping through me as I rose from my seat, trying desperately to work out what he might want. Then, once the room was empty, and the other Order members' voices had faded away as they either left or moved to other parts of Headquarters, Snape advanced.

"Sir," I said quietly, my head bowed as I tried to avoid a punishment. I wasn't exactly sure what he could want to punish me for, but there was a look on his face that clearly meant I was in trouble — and anyway, I knew from experience that not having a reason wouldn't stop him.

"You know, the Dark Lord is wondering where you are," Snape said, in a chillingly calm voice. "As I understand it, he's not particularly happy about your little disappearing act — and your mother even less so."

He continued walking towards me, and I started to slowly move backwards, my terrified eyes now fixed on his cold, emotionless ones.

"Every Death Eater has orders to bring you back to him if they find you," he continued, in the same monotone voice.

I shook my head slightly, struggling to breathe as I took another step backwards and hit the wall. This couldn't be happening... it couldn't...

"Sir, please..." My voice trembled as I spoke, and this only got worse as he came nearer and nearer. "Please, please don't take me back..."

"I don't respond to pitiful pleading, Riddle — although I daresay Bellatrix would enjoy listening to you beg," he said coldly, grabbing my arm with far too much force.

Next moment, a blindingly bright light shot past me; Snape's hand was wrenched away from me as he was thrown backwards by a spell, and Remus stepped into the room, white-hot fury on his face. He pointed his wand straight at Snape.

"Dumbledore said I should give you the benefit of the doubt, Severus; that I shouldn't judge you on what you had to do to keep up the appearance of your loyalty to Voldemort. And believe me, I tried," he practically snarled, as Snape got to his feet again. "But if you ever so much as threaten Ivory again, I won't be held responsible for my actions."

"How touchingly paternal, Lupin," Snape said with a sneer, though his voice didn't carry the same calm malice it had just a few moments before, and he kept his eye on the wand still pointed at his chest, directly at his heart. "One would almost think Riddle was part of your pack."

Remus made a sudden movement, as if he was going to attack, but then seemed to think better of it.

"Get out," he said menacingly, everything about him just screaming 'danger'. "Get out now, Severus, before I do something you'll regret." As if to prove his point, he twitched his wand, a spell forming on its tip.

Snape said nothing. Instead, he simply pushed past Remus, strode down the corridor, and left the building, slamming the front door behind him. With a terrible anger clearly still burning inside him, Remus then started towards me, his wand hand twitching once more. I cowered backwards, squeezing my eyes tightly shut and trying to protect my face with my hands as I braced myself for a punishment.

Nothing happened. Then, with an almost heartbroken-sounding sigh, Remus softly said, "I'm not going to hurt you, Ivory."

There was a clattering noise, and I cautiously opened my eyes again. Remus' wand was rolling out of reach down the table, and he had his hands held up in surrender, clearly trying to show me he wasn't going to do anything.

Slowly — very slowly — I lowered my hands from my face.

"I'm s-sorry," I half-whispered, my voice shaking. "I'm s-sorry that — that I yelled at you... a-and I'm — I'm sorry that I'm t-talking to you when — when you're trying to avoid me, a-a-and—"

"Avoid you?" Remus repeated, running a hand over his face in confusion before putting it up in the air again. "I thought you were avoiding me. And you don't have to apologise, Ivory; Thana's been telling me about PTSD, and triggers, and all of those things, and it seems to me that I should be the one apologising for saying what I said without thinking."

"You didn't know, though," I said softly, a huge wave of relief washing over me as I realised he didn't really hate me.

"But I should've thought—"

"Sir—" I started, my voice a little firmer now. Then, with a slight shake of my head, I amended it to, "Remus. Not — not everything's your fault..."

"I could say the same for you," Remus replied, a small smile on his face as he carefully put his hands down.

I hesitated for a moment, then slowly said, "So... y-you're not angry with me?"

"No, Ivory," he said gently. "I never was."